An End to it All
Well, this isn't the best fanfic I've done, it's short, sweet and sad- took about an hour to write, but hey, it's still fairly good. It's the sort-of-prequel to 'After Gohan'. That AU is becoming really, really depressing..... For more fanfiction, visit.....
IT'S SHOUNEN AI/YAOI/GAY! IGNORANT, NARROW MINDED PEOPLE, BEWARE!!!
"Wh.....what?" I whisper, unable to believe it. My heart is pounding, sweat trickling down my back as hours of meditation are undone with his simple words. "What?" I repeat. Deny it, God, please don't let it be true-
"I think I'm going to finally do it," Gohan repeats, face flushed with excitement. "I'm going to finally ask Videl-chan to...to marry me-"
To marry him.
My mind is churning, though I won't let it show on my face. No, no, it's wrong, Gohan, please don't do this, don't chain yourself to her when I'm right here, screaming on the inside, dying on the inside with love for you-!
He's waiting for a response, I realize, his eyes all lit up, waiting for my approval. Damn you, Gohan! How can you not see how happy I could make you? I stare at him for a moment, taking in his face-
He's eyes are round and wide like his father's-
-And the way the light plays on his hair gives him a little halo in the foggy afternoon, even in the damp it's spiky, beautiful, and I ache to touch it-
I swallow, resisting the urge to slap him, to make him understand-
Now his delicate brows furrow slightly. He's looking slightly confused by my lack of a response, and I struggle for words that can be said without letting my visage slip, without letting him see the aching his words have rendered permanant-
I swallow, and lift a hand, wanting to touch him. He's close enough, only a few feet away, and I press my hand against his cheek- it's soft, warm, smooth, and I feel tears in my eyes. His silky, silky skin, something I'll never be able to touch, because he loves her.
I've always known he would be with her, but somehow, hearing him say it like this, so breathlessly, so filled with life and love and...and....oh god. How will I live through tonight? The night I have to say goodbye...
"Pikoro-san....." Gohan's eyes are understanding now. I knew it, I knew it, he knows. Something inside me rejoices, but his words make my heart freeze in it's place. "I... I want a family."
I can't give him that.
"I want a daughter, with my father's hair and Videl's beautiful blue eyes..."
I can't give him that either.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with her, because she's so...perfect..."
God, Gohan. I could be yours. I could be perfect for you.
"You understand, don't you? We can still be friends!"
God, Gohan, I love you. I'm so sorry, I'm so awful, I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe I have my arms wrapped around your shoulders, I can't believe I'm crying against you, I can't believe-
You're hugging me, you're patting my back- you know. I'm sorry you have to see me like this, I just, I just....I just.........
"Pikoro-san, what...I...I'm sorry, I...."
Here it comes, I know. These are the words that will kill me.
"I love her...."
I lick my lips, I try to whisper something, stepping back from him and nodding, slightly.
"I......I know," I manage to say.
He looks slightly relieved, until I grab him by the shoulders
"What are y-"
I close my eyes, breath in, and press his lips to mine. For a moment I don't move, savoring the touch, then he shivers once and I free him, then clutch him to my chest.
"I'm very happy for you, Gohan," I whisper softly. "Just don't slack off on your training."
I can't see his eyes under his bangs, but I can see the tiny smile that crossed his lips. "Will you come to the wedding, if she says yes....?"
I turn until the only sound filling the clearing is the snapping of my cape. "Yes, Gohan, if that will make you happy."
I stand there and wait until he whispers. "Thank you, Pikoro-san."
His ki rises, and he is gone, leaving me alone as I sink to my knees, tears breaking free again.
Goodbye, Gohan, goodbye.