Title: Special Thing
Category: awr, Case file
Summery: A journal entry
Spoilers: Seminar from Hell, People Like Us, My Fair Hoodlums
Ok I know this is strange but I had to write these "so called"
feelings or thoughts down. But I had to get this off my chest, so to
speak. I know its not everyday when one person falls for their co
worker/partner. But it does happen, even in the oddest of places. I
know that the closest of partnerships are indeed just like marriages.
Even though I am afraid to admit it to anyone, even myself most of the
time, but I like this marriage a lot.
I am going to start with some information first; I want you get the
big picture, not just the small one, if you may. When we lost the
previous Viper all those months ago, and we were looking for new
driver, I was not so sure when Frankie had brought Joe Aston to us,
but I grew to trust him, again. Things went down for a bit when I had
found out about his past life, but I realized that he was making
himself better, that he did not like what he was or who he was. Which
in my book is okay with me, I can understand and I have moved past
that, We have both moved past that. Ever since then we have been
moving towards one another more and more. Joe and I spend, as much
time as we can together during work, I would rather die then to have
him hurt. What does that sound like to you? Although we don't spend
after hours together much, well at all really, that's okay with me,
for the moment anyway. Okay so here is where everything actually
begins, after this last case when I thought Joe was dead and he
thought the same of me. I had no idea what I was going to do, I was
crushed inside, my heart, it was breaking, I didn't want that to
happen to him, I should of covered for him, gotten to my truck sooner,
done something better. But I didn't and I am just glad that he is alive.
He as shot, they shot him, and my world was slowly crashing around me.
I had to get to him "Damn it This can't end like this, we have so much
to do" That image kept running through my mind. It still does. I was
so happy to see the Viper in front of me when the building blew. The
first thing was him and getting to him, not to just make sure he was
alive but for myself as well. I needed him, it; I am still not sure
which one it is or was but it really doesn't matter at all. If
everyone else hadn't been there watching our little display of
affection, I would of wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. But I
just settled for leaning in to him. That afternoon we both went to the
hospital and the FBI took our statements and we went home, separately.
I wanted to continue what went on that afternoon, but all I craved at
that point was a cup of hot tea and a long hot bath. Sorry Joe. I
needed time anyway to think and be alone. The next day went as well,
always the same. Paper work and more paper work. Metro may be not a
very large town, but we have more than our share of problems. I don't
remember where Joe was, but he didn't help much with the paper work.
Typical. Man do we ever need a vacation. Wait did I just say 'we,
whoa, okay lets move on here. So I was in the complex with Frankie, he
was talking about the wedding he just attended god what an awful
tuxedo that was, anyway, he said something to me about rather of
wanting to go to the seminar than the wedding. Wrong thing to say
Frankie boy, you do not want to go through what I went through and I
wouldn't wish that on you for anything. Then, I remember he says
something about Joe.
"You know Wilkes said that Joe was very upset, when he thought your
were, well how do I say this, dead." He said to me. I had to laugh;
Frankie always has this humor about him, even when he is serious.
I have no idea what to say. At that moment it never dawned on me that
Joe could ever even feel the same way about me, that I feel about him.
I was stunned. I knew how I had reacted about when I thought he was
dead. I cried, plain and simple.
I know that I am far from weak, it was not a sign of weakness, and it
was a sign of heartache. I know that most people show affection that
way, but for me I laugh a lot. I have no idea if that is good or bad.
"Oh really, well Frankie, we are just partners, that's all." I say
point blank to him as I walk towards the refrigerator.
"Yeah right" Frankie mumbles under his breath. I think I am not meant
to hear him, but I do.
I sigh and reach in to grab a bottle of water. Man this is going to be
"And what do you mean by that?" Busted Frankie.
"Well, I don't know, it just seems like the two of you have this, this
special thing." He says to me. Nice recovery Frankie.
"Special thing? And what does that have to do with anything? And by
the way that is a "Special Thing" anyway?"
"A double question Detective Westlake? What's wrong with you, I can
see they way he looks at you, the way he reacted when he thought you
were..ah..dead. You figure it out." With that Frankie walked away.
Okay conservation over, I glance at my watch, and time to go home.
It's been a long day to say the least. The paper work is just about
done and I need to get out of here. After a call to Catlet I am gone.
Let's just hope I don't get called in tonight, I need to have glass of
Hi. This may seems a little odd, but I stumbled across this little
journal or what not of Westlake's and I, being totally male, could not
help but read it. I must admit that she is quite a good writer, it
sounds like I am reading a book instead of someone's journal. Anyway,
I just had to add my side of the story, maybe expel some of my pent up
feelings and thoughts. Maybe she will go back and read this, maybe it
will be tomorrow, maybe it will be next week, maybe next year, it does
not matter. I am going to tell her that I invaded her private space
like this, but I feel like my thoughts and feelings, actually my whole
being feels like it belongs with her. Weird huh? I never felt that way
before. I was not so sure when Frankie first asked me to drive the
Viper, let me say that I am not a partner type of guy, I always work
alone. And then to find out I was going to be partnered with a woman.
Okay call me egotistic male, I really am not like that at all, but I
was worried, I didn't want to have to protect her. In the beginning I
kept my distance, trying to gain her respect, trust, friendship. It
was hard, let me tell you. Westlake is a tough, friendly, respectful,
trustworthy, loving, caring person. It was all going well until I
thought I really cared for that one woman, and that totally turned out
wrong. Westlake covered her feelings well, I could tell she was a
little jealous, and we didn't communicate very well, well at all
really. Then there was the time when she and everyone else found out
about a part of my past that I was so desperately trying to forget. I
did a lot of stupid and dangerous things back then and I wanted to get
rid of it, move on, better myself, forget. She was very suspicious
about the whole thing, but you know what once we sat down and talked
about it, talked about what happened and why, she changed, if you may,
it was like we moved closer. We communicate a lot more now, she lets
me touch her more, not that, that would mean anything different, but I
am allowed to do small things here and there. Like for this last case,
for example, we were running through the hallway and they found us and
started shooting, I swear if it had been better timing, I would of let
my hands travel a little further than just her mid-section. Then we
had to end up in the honeymoon suite. But that story is for later on
in this story. Okay, well on with the story, when the seminar went to
hell, all I could think of was Westlake, Catlet, Wilks and lastly the
Viper. When we were split up Westlake became my first priority. I
would die for her if need be. I wasn't going to let her go out the
window first, that was not my plan at all, but she is a stubborn
person, who does things her way. Like she said it was her car. She
made it all right then I as shot, I know she saw what happened and
thought the worst. It was only my shoulder; she had to know that. But
then that man walked up with the rocket launcher and bam ther jeep was
gone. I didn't see her run or go anywhere, I thought she was inside of
it. So that let me think she was dead. At that point my whole world
went estray. I had no idea what to do. All I thought of was to go to
her. I did not want this to end like this, I wanted to go on, go
further in our relationship. For the first time in my entire life, I
wanted to have more than just a friendship or sexual relationship with
a person. There for I found myself spending more time at work, less
time at home. There was no reason for me to be home. At least all the
time, I was lonely, but now and again I still need my time to myself.
I think everyone is that way. I noticed that Westlake was doing the
same thing, spending more time at work then being at home. The thought
went through my head; maybe she is feeling the same way, maybe not. I
was not sure. Frankie I am sure knows what's going on, I am sure after
the escapade that went on during the last case Catlet does as well,
and I know for sure that Wilks does. He is the one who approached me
first about our relationship. But you know what, I don't care at all.
I know that relationships between partners, is not really looked upon
as a good thing. Again, I don't care. We are both professionals, and
at the moment I think that if anything happened to her, I would feel
the same then if we were involved. Anyway, when I finally made it out
of the building in the Viper, on our last case and parked in front of
Caltet and the Mayors, the first person I saw was Westlake. I was
stunned, I was speechless, not a clue to say, for a moment I couldn't
feel any pain in my shoulder at all. I wanted to do nothing more than
to take her in my arms and well kiss her, but we did have a audience
and we both were hurt. I didn't see her for the rest of the night,
which is a good thing, I went home showered and went to bed. I didn't
see much of her at all the next day. We had paper work, and well, my
arm was killing me. No patience to sit there all day. So I left her
there with all of it. Not very nice of me I know, I'll apologize
later. All I did all day was drive around, I found this great spot
over looking the city, and it was so peaceful and quite. I found
myself looking over at the passenger seat all day starting to say
something, but realizing that I am alone. Tonight is Friday, I hope if
all goes well, I will have some courage and time to go over to her
house tonight. It will be our first time we have spent time outside
Okay I am nervous as hell. After what happened over the last few days,
I hope everything goes good. Well I'll her continue here. I am sure
after a few more days I will be writing more in here, surrounded by
I walk through the door, damn no messages, figures. Off goes the
jacket, and shoes. What a day, sometimes I think its worse to sit
there and fill out paperwork then to actually do something. It takes
more out of you. But that's just my opinion. So here I am sitting on
my porch looking over the calm of the evening air, thinking. I have
fought so hard to get where I am now, at the job I am in, and not lose
track of me. By the way that is one of reasons why I got my tattoo.
Anyway, I just do not want to ruin everything, by making a bad choice,
by getting involved with ones partner. I suppose that is why the rule
is there to begin with. But the way I feel about him, I have never
felt that way towards anyone else in my entire life. We have this
silent communication between us, I know what he is thinking with a
glance and I know it's the same for him. We are so much alike, and we
are not. It is a strange feeling really, and with all of the training
I have had and education I have had I am not quite sure how to explain
it. Time for another glass of wine. Tonight I am feeling melancholy, I
am just, just blah. That's the only way to describe it. I am just
thinking about things that I want, how I want my life to go, who I
want to be with, things that I know I cant have in my life. I think
everyone goes through these times at some point in his or her life. I
am just confused; I used to know exactly what I wanted. But now now I
have no idea anymore.
Oh my, well after this last case we were on, the diamond case, I
really can not say much more about it, but well, that unresolved
sexual tension was running so high on this case. We both knew that we
were not making any headway, going about it Catlet's way. Frankly it
was very boring, but that is just my opinion. Joe and I got talking
about how we could start at a different angle, we came up with the
idea that we would pose as a married couple, and if it came down to
it, I would act as the pregnant wife. It was a really good idea, if it
helped catch the 'bad guys', but it also had its ramifications too. I
was not sure of what was going to happen, maybe they would invite us
into their home and we would stay there, I was not sure. Joe seemed to
go along with anything.
Then I made the mistake of telling him about my tattoo, and then
leaving an open invitation to find out where it was. Which made him
all the more curious to begin with. Actually I think I left him
speechless for a few there. It was great! I do not tell people about
it at all, I feel like it's a personal thing that if someone finds
out, it is usually because they are intimate enough with me. But no I
just blurted it out. I feel so comfortable around Joe; I just do not
care what I say. That can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. I
have no idea where to go from here. I feel redundant saying my
feelings over and over in here, but then again no one will ever read
this, so what does it matter?
Okay I am even more confused now then I was a week ago. I have no
where to go, I am lost. Well let me continue with the story of the
last case. Joe and I planned they we would go there as a married
couple, and that I would be expecting. The rolls were a little hard to
get used to, I must admit. We had to do more touching and hand holding
and stuff like that. It made me feel good, I just wish it were under
different a circumstance that's all. Anyway, we made it in, the mans
wife had a real soft side for us. I wasn't sure we would pull it off,
but we did. Anyway we were doing great, until after dinner. We were
brought up towels to shower, and inside was hidden a red nightie. Well
let me say this first, if it were the right time, I would run to the
bathroom and change into it. I was going to, and I would have, if I
had not chickened out. Yup I choked big time. Well when if I came out
and walked towards the bed, I had to do all I could to stop from
jumping in with him right then and there. It was amazing, I was in my
bed cloths and standing there, with no regrets.
"So, what do you think?" Joe asks me, patting the bed next to him. Man
what a wrong thing to same to me at this point. 'What do I think Joe?
Do you really want to know? I think you are incredibly wonderful
sitting there in that bed, waiting for me'
"About the case I mean" Nice recovery Joe.
I know I say something and so does he, but I am not quite sure. All I
remember from that moment on is showing him the nightie, holding it up
against me. I just looked at me and with a straight face said, "Put it
on" I tried I really did to determine whether he was joking. I knew he
wasn't just the tone of his voice.
Joe tried to lighten up the mood by saying "Well she left me a little
something in the towel as well. Its tiger print and very brief."
I dare. Man how I wanted to see him in those. I stand there for a few
moments and reach down and pull the covers off of him. I think he saw
disappointment in my eyes after that because he reached up and pulled
me down on the bed, and started reaching for me all over.
"Oh come on let me see your tattoo. I am your partner I need to know
these things." Oh come on Joe I know you can do better than that. Then
he starts tickling me. I reach over him, purposely, and turn the light
off. Does he ever smell good, and feel good.
Hi again, it is me Joe again. Yes I did fine her journal again. I saw
her writing today at work and had to read what she wrote. You all know
what is going on between us at this point. And yes I do feel the same
way about her. I want so much more, I am just scared shitless to go
any further. She means so much to me, this project means so much to
me, and even working with Frankie and Catlet mean something to me. I
do not want to lose that, because if I do, I have nothing and will be
right back where I started. When I look at Westlake, I see the future.
I want so much more; maybe that is why I ease her so much. I guess
it's my way of dealing with things. Okay from the beginning of this
little adventure of ours.
We were on a diamond case. I can't say much more than that, I am
sorry. Catlet and Frankie were doing the dirty work, and to say the
least it was not going anywhere and it was very boring. Westlake,
Frankie and myself cooked up this idea about getting in and it really
a good idea. So we went on to plan our strategies on how to proceed.
That's when I found out about her tattoo. That threw me for a loop. I
was speechless for a moment, but I soon got over that. My new quest
was to find out what it was and where it was. 'Skin' was the new topic
of my search. All right call it obsession. I would love to see and
feel more of Westlake's skin. I take what I can get when she decides
she wants to wear those somewhat reveling shirts and other clothes.
But all of a sudden I find myself wanting more
"I saw it" I say to her.
"No you didn't"
I didn't really see it, her tattoo that is I was just teasing, so
maybe she would take pity on something or me and give in to me. I knew
she wouldn't the chase is always more fun. At least I always thought so.
This I know for a fact that after the light went out I rolled over and
so did he. We said our goodnights and that was that. For that moment
anyway. I lay there, thinking I am going to just fall asleep, it has
been a long day and I am tired. Yeah right. I am here in a double bed
with my best friend, my partner, a gorgeous women, who has a tattoo
she won't let me see, who just teased me with a red nightie. The list
could go on, but the major things I said first. She is my best friend,
and my partner. The two most important things in my life. And the fact
that I find her really attractive is just a bonus; it is not what is
on the outside, but what's on the inside that's important.
After the lights went out, so to speak, I am not sure of the time that
pasted, I hear her say something. I am still trying to figure out what
it was. I dozed soon after that, and awoke, from what the clock said 3
hours later. Normally that would have been no problem, but this time
when I tried to move I couldn't. Westlake had her arms draped over my
side and was how do I say this, spooning me. Do I ever hate that word,
spooning, but I have no idea how to describe it. I just lay there, not
knowing what to do, I really can start to enjoy this, waking up with
the person you care for most, definitely has its possibilities. Okay
this is not a good train of thought at the moment, lets think about
something different. I guess she read my mind, because at that moment
Westlake decided to roll over. Phew, now if it were a better time and
much better place I would not have cared, but I am sorry to say I am
glad that we are on different sides of the bed. This is going to be a
long night; I have to get some sleep, or maybe just some rest. Okay I
am going to go now, she is a much better writer than I. but you
probably be seeing me here again.
I glanced over at the clock; about three hours have gone by. That is
it. Geeze this night is going to be longer than I thought. I just lay
there watching the clock tick on and on. Wait a minute, how can I see
the clock? That's when I realize what I am doing, and oh does it feel
perfect and right. But how am I supposed to explain this? I will just
keep quite a little longer then move, like I am shifting in my sleep.
I can feel him stirring a bit, I know he is awake now, wondering the
same thing as me. I am not ready to give up my secret yet, so I roll
over, half-hoping he will follow. The one thing I found out about Joe
is that he is what one would call a snuggler. That is defiantly a
plus. I hear his breathing slow and even out, he is sleeping. You know
I found it to be the most peaceful thing, just to listen to him
breathe while he is sleeping. To know he is safe and sound, and from
the look on his face earlier, happy. At this moment I feel so content,
just looking outside the window, staring at the night, being with him
like this. I slowly feel myself drifting off into sleep.
I have no idea what time it is now because I can't roll over to look.
Now it is Joe's turn to turn to me and snuggle. I can't say how I feel
at this moment, loved, cared for, I think it is a bit of everything
put together. Joe is mumbling something in his sleep, I am not sure
what, I hope it is not a bad dream, or one of those kids of dreams.
Well just because we are not at that stage of our relationship, and I
think that I would be embarrassed and so would Joe. I realize what he
is saying, it is my name over and over. It throws me for a loop, not
sure how to react I start to get up. At my sudden movement he stills
and lets his hold on me go. I get up and sit in the chair by the bed.
I have to think. I am going to list this out, basically because I have
no idea what to do or in what direction.
How do I feel about Joe
I see my future
I would die for him if need be
He is my best friend
I trust him with everything
How does he make me feel
Loved… wow did I really say that?
Basically the same as above. I look over to him, some how I know he is
looking at me, even in these early morning hours with only the moon
light, I can see him clearly. He is calling me.
"What are you doing over there?"
"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep." I said to him
With that he sits up a little, and pushes back the covers for me.
"Why don't you come back to bed." Again he pats the bed. What is with
him. I can see it in his eyes, he is nervous.
I look at him for a few minutes and rise from the chair and crawl back
into bed. Joe covers me with the comforter and then snuggles back
behind me with his arm around my waist. We sit there for a while
before he speaks.
"Do you ever wish things were different? Would you have done things
It's a pondering question, I am not sure how to answer, so I sigh.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes I am okay. You know when you have days when something just
strikes you, ad you wish you had that, or that you wished that you had
taken a different path in life."
He nods against my neck "I think I have a clue"
I have to smile. Yes you do Joe. Yes you do.
"I know we haven't spoken about what happened during our last case,
but if anything had really happened to anyone of us, you, because of
me, I wouldn't know how I would of dealt with that."
He is still for a moment, like he is surprised. I know what I just
admitted to him, I just hope he does.
"You know, how upset I was when I saw your Jeep go up, I thought you
were dead. I ..I..was a mess." He pauses "Poor Wilkes, I don't think
he was prepared to deal with that side of me. Frankie on the other
"Catlet too. I know that was a new side for him to see of me."
I move back a little into his embrace and he tightened his hold on me.
"We really need to get some sleep." I say to him and I get a muffled
response out of him.
"Good Night Joe."
That was all that we spoke for the rest of the night. I did not sleep
much, waking up every few hours to either find myself either in Joe's
arms or not. Last time I wasn't, but that was okay to.
Man I really have to get some sleep here, we have no idea what is
going to happen tomorrow. I know Joe is going off to get in on the
robbery, I hope everything goes well. I think I am going shopping,
that pregnant act really worked. A baby. What a topic, but one I am
not going to go into here.
Argh sunlight. I realize I am laying on Joe. He ha his arm around my
back and I am settled onto his chest. I am nowhere near ready to get
up. I reach over to the clock 8am. To early in my book, so I just lay
there taking in all the peace and quite not wanting to disturb Joe.
"Humm I could really get used to this." Came a mumbled remark from
Joe. I am not sure h was really awake enough to know what he said, but
it brought a smile to my face.
"Me to" Shit did I say that out loud? I hope not.
"Morning Joe." I say to him a little firmer, hoping he didn't hear
what I just said. Deep down I know he did.
"Morning honey" Oh back to our roles now are we? "How did you sleep?"
"Oh better than normal." I sit up so I can see his face better "How
"The same. Are you okay? I mean you were a little upset last night?"
"Joe I want to say Thanks for listening to me last night. It means a
lot to me."
"Humm so you said. You are welcome. I am here for you anytime you know."
I reach up and put some of his hair back into place. "I know"
Wow I am emotional today, what is wrong with me.
"I am okay, honest." I say to him. Then there is a knock at the door.
Well time to start our day.
The day went about the norm for a case that is. We got the bad guy and
the stolen diamonds, although Frankie, Joe and I all decided to play a
little joke on Catlet and not tell him we found the diamonds. He can
be so paranoid sometimes, it is funny.
"We gotta go, New Cases, New Places" Joe says as we get into the viper.
The ride back to the complex was silent for some time, I don't think
either one of us knew what to say, but that is okay as well. We stop
at a red light and Joe looks over at me and reaches a hand out to
mine. I have to say it sent shivers up my spine.
"Do you want to have dinner tonight?" He asks me.
"Well, yeah, we could go out or to my place." Joe said. I can tell he
sound very nervous.
"That would be nice Joe." I smile back at him and squeeze his hand.
He smiles and goes back to the road. "I will pick you up at 7:30pm."
This is different, I am not sure about this. I am scared. And that in
itself is a very different feeling to me. I proud myself in being a
independent woman, I do no define myself as person you lets a man make
me who I am. I have always been a tomboy of sorts; I was always the
adventurous type, liked sports and whatnot.
We then pull up in front of my apartment. I get out and Joe hands me
"See you at 7:30"
Feb 24th, 1999
Hi again, it's me. Some say life is full of suprises, some say it is
dull and boring. I say life is what one makes of it. During my life, I
believed that things happen for a reason, people are brought into your
life for a reason and they leave for the same. I have always been a
bit of a tomboy, never letting anyone define me, but me. I like to do
most things for myself. You can say I am a self-efficient female. That
is probably why I went into the profession that I did. To prove to
family friends, strangers, and myself that I could do this and succeed.
When I was assigned to Special Forces and to the Viper Project with my
partner, I was a very different person. I was young, and to say it wet
behind the ears, my partner was a self centered person, who only
thought about himself, and was very uptight, about everything. Don't
get me wrong we got along okay, we did what we had to do as partners.
But I guess he got tired. To bad really, I think we were finally
getting to like each other, maybe even be good friends. Then after
about a year, give or take he left and partnered me with someone else;
who if at all possible was the worst person to work with. I was
ditched, couldn't do anything on my own; because I would probably mess
it up, I had to be protected. Now that bothered me the most out of it
all. I went through the same training, same education, everything,
hell I am even a better shot, if need be, and I did not need to be
protected. It was always me this me that, my father this my father
that, ugh I was glad when the powers at be ended that partnership,
well actually when I blew up the Viper, and he could not take being
out done by a woman and resigned. Now we were out of a driver, a
partner, and the worst a Viper. I thought I was going to lose my job.
Catlett was stressed out, Frankie was insane about it all, I just
wanted to find a driver and a new partner (hopefully someone who I
could get along with) and get back to my life. Weeks went on,
prototype after prototype was destroyed, and I didn't really think the
Viper was that hard of a car to handle. But no one was up to the task
at all. We were running out of options and quickly.
I remember the day at the test track; it was Frankie Catlett and
myself. Catlett tells Frankie to take a crack at driving the Viper
through the track. Well needless to say it did not end up so well. He
crashed big time. He comes stumbling back saying that he knows the
perfect driver. That he was born to drive this car, and so on. Okay
that got my attention, I want to know whom this person is. Frankie
says we have to wait, but we won't be sorry. I am way too curious for
my own good, so I start hounding Frankie about it. He has such a great
sense of humor. Anyway, the new Viper is being transported by
tractor-trailer, except it is a fake one; just in case someone tries
to steal it. Which they did. Anyway. The new real Viper was being
delivered by one Joe Astor. I don't think that he had any plans on
returning here at all, he was just doing a favor for Frankie. But
Frankie knew if he got him here he could talk him into staying. Sly
devil that Frankie is. Well he was right, he did stay. Joe had changed
over the two or three years I had seen him last. He had matured and
was more laid back now, he dressed differently. Well that was a
definite improvement. But what caught me was the way he had matured
and the way he acted. To me looks are not everything to a person; it
is what is inside. But Joe defiantly was not lacking in any department.
He stayed, but it was hard. I knew he didn't want to be here. Or at
least that is how he acted. Anyway, I was still hurt by his leaving
all those year ago. It bothered me; I wanted to know why. So it took
me a while to trust him. Trust for me is not an easy thing to give. I
feel that one should earn it, just like everything else in life, you
have to work for it. Anyway I am going to skip all the things that
happened between then and now. I spoke about them in my last entry.
Which brings me to that topic, the other day I was re-reading what I
had written last and I came across something I that I had not written.
I was upset at first; I didn't know who would violate my privacy,
until I realized just who it was. Joe. I think he needed someplace to
vent, if you may, I am not really bothered by it now, I will just keep
this out now, just incase he needs to write. It's a great feeling to
know that you have an effect on another like that. That they feel the
need to be possessed and encaptured like that. Okay enough with the
ego boost here. I need to get a few things off my shoulders here. I
feel a bit weighted down these last few days.
After our last case where we went undercover as a married couple, that
I realized, well I think we actually realized that we had strong
feelings for each other. I mean Joe loves to push my buttons, see what
I can handle and he loves to pick on me every way he can. I think it's
a hobby of his. But I can say the same about myself. I really enjoy
picking on him about things; humor is a great thing I tell you. It can
get you extremely far. Anyway, after our last case we had dinner
together, and our caseload went to an almost dead stop. Scary thought
really. The slow down in the caseload, not the dinner part, that was
lovely. We had a great time. For me at least I am nervous as hell
about our whole relationship and where we want and should go from
here. I know where I would love to go from here, but I am not sure
where Joe wants to go. Dinner the other night was great, we joked,
watched the basketball game, just like friends do. We sat a little
closer than usual, stand a little closer than usual, even walk a
little closer. I find Joe coming in behind me and looking over my
shoulder and reaching around me more. That makes me feel good you know
that he actually wants to touch me more, that he likes to. The next
few days I spent at the complex, actually we all did. The one thing
about government funding is that they always take great care of their
special projects. See if you didn't already know the complex is fully
functional, with bedrooms, kitchen, baths, and living area.
Catlett calls and says he has this BIG case for us. Guarding a very
expensive necklace. Sounds interesting huh? Well at least it is
something. Well to make a long story short, Joe gets to be the center
of attention for this rich beauty queen. I can tell that she was
getting to him. First the necklace was stolen then it turned out to be
a fake, then it was stolen again, only to turn up around her neck
again. All the time coming on to Joe just to get her ex-husband
jealous. He was getting frustrated. I was okay with the whole thing.
The part when he was actually on the cover of a tabloid magazine was
quite funny; picture was intriguing I must say. I laughed when Joe
brought all those magazines in and dumped them I the trash. I thought
it was extremely funny. Then when I started to read it, boy did he get
defensive about it? He told me later on that he did not want to make
me feel bad or angry or even jealous, that he was ashamed of what went
on. Joe apologized to me. I was not really upset at Joe, I know he did
not go looking for that, but I was a little jealous. I wanted to find
out how it felt damn it. I did get a little hug out of that ordeal, he
came up behind me and put his arms around me, that is when he
apologized. Geeze did I just write that. Well I am not going to erase
it! Our job was to make sure the necklace was safe and the owner is
safe as well.
On a humorous note, Frankie, now that was absolutely funny. I swear he
lost his mind over that mouse. He had the whole complex set up like a
battle zone with mousetraps, mouse hotels, Viper defenses, and you
name it. I am glad we have it on tape because I might need it for a
good laugh one day. I mean Viper Defenses, I can see mousetraps and
that stuff, but Frankie and his Zen complex, and over a mouse is
By the time I was ready for the Masquerade Ball, Joe was there before
me. I know we were working, but I really wanted to look great, not
just for me, but mostly for him. He always sees me in pants and skirts
for work, but nothing like a gown, really dressed up. So I actually
went to get my hair done and bought a new dress. I walked in and wow;
there he was just standing there watching the couples dance.
"Hi ho silver," I say to him. Damn he looks wonderfully handsome. I
have never seen him like this before, but I want to see more. He looks
"Westlake? Is that you?"
I nod slowly and a small smile creeping across my face.
"Damn you look.. great. Your dress is.. I mean gown I beautiful." He
says shyly to me. I am speechless, as is he.
Damn Catlett, he has the worst timing. What kind of mask is that? He
says something about about everything being in place, I know I say
something to him and then he leaves. Good. Then Joe is talking to
Frankie. Poor Frankie is still fighting with that damn mouse and I am
still laughing about that!
"You know, I was thinking, to get a better watch of the necklace,
maybe we should.."
"Dance?" I fill in for him.
"I thought you would never ask."
"Yeah. Shall we?" He asks as I take his arm.
Can we say charm?
I know there is much playing and we are being taped, but you know what
I don't care one bit.
I remember the feel if his body against mine and how good it felt to
be wanted and needed by a man, especially him. We were just looking
into each other's eyes, I mean not just looking, but it was like
looking straight into the other person's soul. I couldn't hold the
mask in place, I knew something like this had to be me, pain old me. I
wanted no barriers between us.
So I moved my mask away and put my arm around Joe, and he pulled me
closer, if we could get any closer. He moved in like he was going to
kiss me, but instead just leaned his forehead against me. I could feel
his hot breath against my ear, and I got shivers down my spine. Joe
then moved my hand over his heart and held it there. At this point I
know we should be watching the necklace, but I would much rather watch
the man in front of me, pressed up against me.
I know now that the gown was a great choice, it had the desired effect
I wanted it to have one him.
I can hear from a distance, yes from a distance, my whole body, all my
senses are tuned right into him, well anyway, the music is slowly
going away, and we pull apart a few inches, we almost kissed right then.
I admit it, I surrendered to him.
I mean, I would have done anything at that point with him, right then.
We moved in to kiss, but The Woods' voices floated through the
microphones and took us from our reverie. It took me a few moments to
get back to, how do I say this normal. We had to finish this case. So
that meant I had to get away from Joe. I probably would have jumped
him, if I had to stand that close to him for another minute.
Well after a few more hours and a very distressing phone call from
Frankie, which Joe and I thought was very humorous, we were finished
with the case. It was over. Now what?
Well this is where I am going to jump in this time. Hi it's me Joe
again. I just want to say that Westlake did find out about the other
segments I wrote in here, and she says it is fine to continue.
Something about it being therapeutic or something. And what is good
for one partner is good for the other. I do have to say that I do feel
a lot better getting my thoughts and feelings out this way for now.
But if you couldn't tell how I feel about her and the way she feels
about me from the 'dance' then you must be blind. Forget Frankie's
mouse traps going off like firecrackers around me, I n early fell over
when I saw Westlake watch towards me. I knew she could dress to kill
if need be, I have been witness to that one to many times, but
tonight, wow is all I have to say. It even looks like the gown is new
and she actually had time to go and get her hair done. Women, they can
find time for anything. It truly amazes me, really.
Okay on with the story here. When Catlett first came to us with the
case, I was glad it was something, I usually don't like to just sit
and wait. That is not my style, especially if I am waiting for work.
Anyway, guarding a necklace, sound like a easy enough job. Well it
didn't turn out that way. This women, Ms Woods, had her necklace
stolen, which turned out to be a fake, only to have the originally one
reappear, then to have it stolen again and reappear back on her neck.
I have never been to confused in my life.
We had to watch a mouse, a mouse. Well that was just the right job for
Frankie to do. I think it would have been easier just to bring it home
with me. Frankie had that whole complex done up like he was at war,
with a mouse. It was probably the most funny thing I have seen in my
life. Like Westlake said, I am glad we have it on tape. Then he almost
gave me a heart attack with all those damn things going off around me.
It sounded like someone was shooting at me. I will never forget this
whole case for two reasons Frankie vs. The Mouse and Westlake.
Okay I have to admit something here, when it comes to Cameron
Westlake, I love to push her buttons and see how far I can get without
really pissing her off. It's a lot of fun. And she really does have a
great sense of humor. I rarely see her mad or upset. Basically because
she turns around whatever I say to her back at me. Half the time I
don't see it coming. I want to say something about the part where she
wrote about the very first year we were partners, I am truly sorry
about everything that went on. I know she is going to read this as
soon as I finish, but it doesn't matter. I was a jerk, I was selfish
and inmature. I had no idea how to treat a partner or a friend like
anything other than mean and cold. That is one of the reasons why I
left to begin with. I am happy I made that decision and at some times
I am not, but I can tell you this, if I had stayed we would not be
where we are now. And I really like where we are now in our
partnership, both professional and personal. Westlake is right, things
do happen for a reason. I am really glad that we found our way back to
Okay back to the story here. I was getting very fustrated with this
lady Ms. Woods and her two necklaces, she was nice and everything, but
I knew what I was to her. I could see it, she wanted to make her
husband jealous and I didn't want any part in it. Plus I felt guilty
as well, I have no idea why, well yes I do, I think it had to do with
the partner who was supposed to be by my side and wasn't. That upset
me as well, that she wouldn't allow Westlake to be there, only me. So
here Catlett and I were staking out the hotel waiting for Braxton.
After about what seems like eternity Catlett says that he is in
pursuit, so I jump into action (does that sound corny or what) and who
is waiting outside the Viper? It was our good dear ole friend Ms.
Woods. She decides to kiss me, in front of all these reporters no
less. By this time Braxton had gotten away, Catlett was mad because I
wasn't there to back him up and was attacked my marbles. Marbles, now
that just may be as funny as Frankie vs. the mouse. Anyway, and now I
had my picture on the front of every tabloid in Metro. Great night so
far. And to top it off I was feeling guilty and very embarrassed.
Those are the reasons why I stopped at all the news stands I could and
picked up all the magazines I could, so they could be properly
disposed of. It was a good idea really, until I got back to the
Complex. And there she was, Westlake. Well she was bound to find out
some how. So I dumped them in the trash ad walk over to sit down next
to her. When I turn around she's not there.
"Hey, what do you think you are doing?" I ask as I grab the magazine
out of her hands and throw it away again.
Westlake starts reading the cover again, does she ever give up?
"I always knew there was a little smoke between you two" She said to
me as she touched my chin as she walked by.
Okay it was getting a little hard to keep my hands to myself, so I
went after getting the magazine back from her. She tricky let me tell
you, but I rather enjoyed that part. I won.
A while later Westlake and Frankie are at the computer, she is
standing there with her back to me. I come by and stand right next to
her. My whole left side was touching her. See what I mean, more of the
innocent stuff. Well its not quite so innocent since I do know what I
Since I can not really speak about the case, I will skip the next part
and go straight to the Masquerade Party. Okay I wanted to look really
nice for Westlake. I wanted to impress her. I rented a tuxedo, I have
not done that since high school. I had no idea what she was wearing at
all, so I just settled for a plain black. Easy enough. I was ready in
under forty-five mintues so I took off for the party. Westlake had
told me that she would meet me there, so don't go thinking the wrong
So here I am standing, alone I might add, she is late, well not really
late, but I am getting worried here. So I am watching the necklace and
the people dance. Ms. Woods decided to wear it anyway, against out
advice. And in comes Westlake from behind. I have no idea why I
pretended not to see her, but I did. How could I have not.
"Hi ho silver." Where did that saying come from?
"Westlake? Is that you?"
She is smiling from head to foot. Literally.
"Wow you look..you look great. I mean your gown is beautiful." Okay I
am studdering a bit. She looks stunning, wow. I know where she went
this afternoon, new dress, got her hair done. This is going to be a
"So do you." She says
"Why thank you, do you like?" as I adjust my bow tie.
"Yes, you should wear a mask more often" HAHA very funny
"Ha Ha Ha"
Oh that has to be Catlett.
"Hello Sherman" we both say at the very same time. It looks like he
got his mask off some clearence store rack. It is the ugliest thing,
but so totally him.
He asks us about everything being in place. Of course it is. Then we
are talking to Frankie, who is still at war with the mouse.
"You know I was thinking, to get a better view of the necklace, I
thought maybe we could.." Still a bit of nervousness in my voice there.
"Dance?" she adds in for me
"I thought you would never ask." She finishes.
Thought I would never dance with her? Can she really be serious? A
chance to put my arm around her, I would never give up that chance.
Especially when she looks like this and smells so good. Mental note,
find out what perfume she is wearing so I can buy her more.
We slowly walk out to the dance floor, that mask she is holding has to
go. Not that I mind, but I don't want to have to fight to get any more
closer to her. As if on cue, she pulls away the mask and slides her
arm around me. I was this close to kissing her right then. But of all
things we had to be wired. So I just settled for leaning my temple
against her cheek. I know that I got to her, she got to me, I wanted
so much more than this. But we were working and being taped, watched
and listened to. Very romantic huh? But I would myself not caring at
all. I wanted to let everyone know how I felt about this stunning
woman in my arms. My whole body as atuned to her, I lost contact with
the music, the other people in the room, the necklace. Slowly and much
to soon we pull apart and just look straight into each others eyes. I
have never done this before, and it was breath taking. I saw so much
there I could of cried right then. I was almost there again, ready to
kiss her, but reality took hold and I had to get away from her. I was
not trying to be mean or upset her in any way, but I needed room. This
was not the time or the place for that matter. I think she felt the
same, bee line to the ladies room. That is really okay with me. Even
though we haven't said anything to each other about this, I am not
sure if we are ready. I know I am scared out of my mind. As strong as
Westlake is, I am positive she feels the same.
After the party we got back to the Complex, case solved. Time to
relax. Frankie asked me what went on between Westlake and I. I had
forgotten that we were being listened to.
"Sounds like you had a very nice evening with Westlake?"
"Besides being on a case, yes I did."
"So how does she dance?"
"Huh? Oh very well."
"I have one question for you. Are you sure you two aren't more than
"Yes Frankie, Westlake and I are just good friends."
"Right." He says to me like he doesn't believe a word I am saying.
"What Mr. Mouse boy, you don't believe me?"
"I am sorry, how on earth did you hurt yourself anyway? When I spoke
to you last you has just cut your foot?"
"Nevermind. I am never going to live this down as it is now."
"and you changed the subject."
"Okay, so why do you think that Westlake and I are more than partners,
"I am not the only one you know, and well like I told her, you guys
have this 'special thing' between you two. I can't explain it."
"You know what Joe, you are a great detective, but you can be so
stubborn sometimes. I heard what you said to Westlake when you two
I didn't say a word.
"I guess you forgot that you guys were wired."
Frankie goes back to what he was doing, very slowly, I might add. He
must have had an all out war after I got off the phone with him.
Great timing too, because in comes Westlake. She has changed out of
her dress, but still looks great, a bit tired too. She puts her gown
and bag down on the table and sits on the couch. So I sit next to her.
"It is Friday night."
"Yup it is." She says to me.
"Do you want to have dinner tomorrow night?"
She looks over to me for a few moments.
"Sure that sounds wonderful." She touches my cheek again, and leaves
her hand there a little bit longer. God do I love her smile.
I hear Frankie say something, but I don't know what.
"Looks guys, I am going to stay here tonight."
"Alright Westlake. See you tomorrow." Frankie says over his shoulder.
She then bends over and says to me "Are you going to stay here as well?"
"I think so, why?"
"Just curious, sweet dreams." She says then is gone.
I watch as she goes upstairs and closes the door. Sweet dreams.