ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE

WOW! All those reviews! I was already planning to continue… But now I really put some time in it. And damn, I needed it… Had a nice block on this fic till I decided that I would change POV… Sorry for the delay. So yeah, no more Harry POV anymore, but Draco POV. Hope this will be enough to clear things up. I was first planning on writing what happened after those 6 months in Harry's POV… But now you'll get Draco who rants on about what happened in those 6 months. Isn't that fun? xP So this just directly continues after chapter 4. /grin/ Enjoy!

….

Chapter 6

Inhuman Actions

"Did you hear it?"

"Yes! Oh my goodness I can't believe it! It's too bad though, he had the reputation of shagging every girl in sight."

"Yes, had!" The two girls broke out in a fit of giggles.

'Yes, had,' I thought bitterly. How'd come again that I've ruined that precious reputation? Why did I do it? Why I wanted it? "Yes Draco, tell me," I repeated my thoughts. "Just tell me. If you would only know…"

But I don't. I have no fucking idea about what even happened. One moment I made a stupid bet with that asshole Zabini, next moment Potter was French kissing me. And bad too! He'd slammed his teeth against mine with that sudden movement of his. Can't say I disliked it though. Was that where it began?

The stupid git, trying to kiss me before the eyes of everyone in the entire school, including teachers. Trying to embarrass me. Well, he succeeded. Damn my traitorous body that kissed him back! But I must admit, it was quite Slytherin of him. Never thought he actually had it in him, the guts. Well, being brave is one of those stupid Gryffindork traits. Same with loyalty. Bloody Weasel and mudblood.

Are you jealous?

No! I bet he was acting like the victim towards them. Making me look like the bastard. Stupid asshole. Couldn't even tell I was drunk that night. Like now. I wonder what would've happened if I'd stayed sober…

But I couldn't. I couldn't! I just had bloody sex with him damnit! And worse: my own fucking body decided to be traitorous again. To act gay to put it bluntly.

Me. Gay. Can you believe it? And only 'cause I fucked the Potter-boy. The worse fucking mistake I could've ever make.

Or the best.

No.

But I just don't know… All I know is that I feel attracted to him. Really attracted. Something I'd never felt before. Something I couldn't understand.

Sure, they told me what 'love' was. The definition of it. Not that it would feel this way. And not that it was even possible for anyone to 'love' their bloody archenemy! They never warned me. My parents want me to marry that bitch Parkinson for Salazar's sake! I wonder how they would react if I told them…

Imagine: my father, my mother and me in the same room. Okay, so that's hard enough already isn't it? Now…

Me: Father?

Father: Hmn?

Me: I'm gay.

Father: Yeah son, whatev… WHAT?

Mother: That's so cuuuute! Do you have a boyfriend? Who is it? Are you going to bring him home? Tomorrow I'll take you out shopping with me!

Me: …No… But I think I like Harry Potter…

Mother: Do I know him? Bring him home dear!

Father: Draco, you do realise that our Lord has to know this, right? Maybe you could even hand him over…

Mother: Lucius! That's no way to treat the boyfriend of your son!

Sigh, get the picture? Maybe it's a little out of character… But for my own sake I at least wanted to forget the rant about being the Malfoy heir and not being able to produce any other Malfoys… Not to mention the part 'even though you THINK you're gay and hate Parkinson you'll still marry her anyway'. And somewhere I still hope my mother isn't that dense. Though it would be nice if she actually cared about me. A bit. That's all I need. Just that they accept…

I think I'm doomed.

I'm honestly thinking about denial, because now the whole school already knows just not telling failed as an option. It'll probably be the biggest news in the Daily Prophet tomorrow I guess. 'BOY-WHO-LIVED IN LOVE WITH AND HEARTBROKEN BY MALFOY HEIR', or 'YOUNGEST MALFOY OFFSPRING SEDUCED HARRY POTTER'. I can see the headlines printed out already, and I'm not ready to decide which is worse at this moment. There goes my little talk to my parents, they'll read it earlier then I can tell it. Probably get some damn howler about it, as if this all isn't embarrassing enough! I'm a total disgrace to the name of Malfoy.

And guess what? I couldn't care less.

It's just weird. That two words, a stupid joke, could possibly end up this way. '"Embarrass Potter in the worse way you can think of"'.

Stupid Zabini, the arse. He said I couldn't do it. That I was turning soft on Potter in my acting. And I, and my freaking ego, just had to prove I wasn't. I was the Slytherin Ice prince, I could do everything, they all looked up to me, made me their leader. They didn't see I just didn't cared. Still don't.

"There he is!"

"O my God, I can't believe it!"

"How could he?"

I hear them whisper behind my back, the whole school. I wandered through the hallways, trying to avoid contact and just get lost. I knew that what I'd done to him was bad enough already.

'"Make him suffer Draco. You're not turning weak on him, are you? You can't possibly harbour feelings other than hate towards the Gryffindork, right Malfoy? You're not beginning to feel anything for him, do you Malfoy?"'

I wonder why I listened. Looking back it's so easy to say what I should and what I shouldn't have done. Should: make Potter suffer less, maybe even make him happy. Shouldn't: listen to other Slytherins who are daring you on delving your own grave and then get lost when your supposed to be archenemy is laying in the same bed as you. Never let your dick guide you Draco, remember that for future use. Never again.

But Merlin, he was sexy. The things he did, how he walked to the bed, stripped down his clothing and crawled towards me, then started whispering those things in my ear… I wanted him right then, right there and hell, I was lucky enough to get him! He was just so… So irresistible with that sweet innocence of him, and that body with the tensing muscles so desirable…

I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I can't stop. Believe me, I know how wrong this is, all was. I know it shouldn't have happened. But all I can seem to think about is last night. How quick things went… How things went… And how right they seemed at the moment. It's all so surreal.

I'm losing it, and I'm very well aware of that fact. I'm slowly drowning in green water, great depths that allow you to keep falling 'till eternity. And no matter how I hate to admit it, Zabini was right. Is right. Potter is making me soft. Or maybe I'm just allowing him to make me soft.

"Look at the guy, it's pathetic."

"Yeah, playing with someone's heart like that."

Oh why can't you all just stop? Stop whispering behind my back while I can still hear! Stop it! Just… No, I'm a Malfoy, Malfoys do not break down. Never. But maybe, what if I… No. But I should've run after him when he left the Hall.

Merlin, I hate myself for this. Why can't he see it's all just a bet? The 'talk' he heard, it was prepared, all set up. We knew he would hear it, we even wanted him to! Well, Zabini did. If he'd just looked, one quick glance, he would've seen a wand pointing at my throat making me say things I normally would refuse to say.

Stupid ego. Stupid Malfoy pride. When I wanted to stop it there was no turning back. Too late. They're right, I am acting pathetic. Quite uncharacteristic for a Malfoy.

Sensed the sarcasm and bitterness there? Yes? Good.

Sigh. I hate myself. Seriously. He acted like an ass to me but I paid him back tenfold, while he didn't even deserve it. It's not that I really minded when I threw him on the table, that were my perverted mind and traitorous body speaking. If we would've been alone… Say bye-bye to your virginity Harry! Not that I didn't took it later…

And then I just had to ruin it all, give it all up… 'For the bet', hell! I'd needed all my courage to walk into his dorm and wake him, but I needed… I just felt like I needed to talk to him. Not shout, or argue, or embarrass, or fight, or anything like that… Just talk. Hear him out. I didn't mean that he would get information out of me though, which he did anyway. I just lost it. He made me lose all control somehow… The Ice Prince on fire.

I never meant to tell him I liked the kiss, that I wanted more… Because it was Wrong! We were enemies! Hell, we are both male! I still can't decide what's worse. We just shouldn't be together I guess.

Damn, I never felt this all about a girl before! What is happening? I should hate him… But instead I love him to dead. Till death. Damn. All that inbreeding finally brought a nice pureblood freak into the world. Thanks mother, father.

Room of Requirement. Yes. Never thought it would ever be so helpful. So special. Because yeah, that's where our sweet little Draco got de-virgined. Is that even a word?

Just a small replay: I kissed potter. I held Potter. I talked with Potter. I screwed Potter. And then suddenly Potter became Harry. Just as I changed from Malfoy to Draco for him.

Merlin, what happened? Why did I ruin it? How?

Oh yeah, I remember again… How could I've forgotten. Malfoy pride in combination with a ridiculous bet and a psycho Blaise Zabini is not good. Should've known. Not that it wasn't obvious or something.

And now I blew it. After the whole talk thing… For the first time I felt something as regret. The way he makes me feel so much new things is just… Bizarre. I just felt… bad for betraying him this way. First fucking him into the bed and the next morning hurting him by letting him overhear a conversation not quite meant to be heard by feeble ears. Inhuman, even for a Slytherin. Disgusting, even for a Malfoy.

But he wouldn't listen. I tried to explain, I did… I even tried calling him Harry in a hope to catch him off guard! But he just wouldn't listen. That annoying bushy know-it-all and the Weasel weren't helping either.

For Salazar's sake, I don't even know why I'm getting myself into this trouble anyway! Why am I even still trying? He rejected me 'cause I was an ass and I know that and even admit it so why do I still care? I never cared before! I never cared about either him, his words, his acts or whatever till that day… Until today. It seems like ages ago already… But it's only a few hours.

I never cared about his tears until I saw them. I never cared about the Golden-Boy-Who-lived until I saw Harry Potter. I never cared about his words until I could finally hear them.

'"I love you."'

Every time I hear his voice in my head and the pain refuses to leave…

"Merlin, I hate myself so much!"

I want to stop thinking about it, but it keeps echoing through my head, all the time, never stopping. It won't leave me alone… I feel guilt. Damn, who could've thought I had something resembling a conscience?

I keep reminding myself the whole time by thinking about it, about him… Those words awakened something, something I believed was dead, gone forever. But he'd made me feel so alive… I… don't understand.

I'm afraid. I'm not a Slytherin for nothing, I may be smart and cunning but bravery isn't one of our traits… I'm not a bloody Gryffindork like him. I'm afraid for what happens to me. It's all so new… I don't know what to expect, how to prepare. I hate it to feel so helpless. Like I lost all control over my own life, body, feelings, thoughts, actions, words…

I'm afraid to fall. And at the same moment I realise I've already fallen. Hard and quick, with nothing to hold on to. Hopeless like a little kid, a plaything in the cruel hands of fate, being thrown around like I'm nothing. Just a useless little shit between all the other little shits. Quite ironic.

It all feels like a game, which I'm playing and also losing. And when I lose… I lose my life. I lose him. I'll try everything in my power to win, win him back. So that I can talk to him, explain it all, let him know I care…

No, I don't care. Malfoys don't care. They don't even feel. They're blind, deaf and mute for everything outside their own little world. Keep telling yourself that Draco, keep repeating. Just keep believing, then you'll be fine. Keep hanging on, you've been through more rough times! You can handle this!

Right?

A real Malfoy can.

And a real Malfoy always gets what he wants.

….

A/N: I'm finally realising what the title meant… It's not about our little pathetic Harry, but about our even more pathetic poor Draco… Excuse me for my choice of words. Haven't really got things planned out for next chapter though. I only know that there are so many things still left unsaid… Draco cutie, you got A LOT of trouble hanging above your pretty platinum blond head…

Thanks to all my reviewers on chapter 5 for the 'plz continues: fishnetfairy, genocide-bloodshed, Gryffindorgrl86 (thnx for the ideas!), BlahnessMucho, Alora, (he does, trust me!), yamisbabybird, darkmoon56, Mara202 (I AM evil /snickers/ hehe), Ale, Rag-Doll-Chey. /group hug/ And Kylia Nahimana: I wrote it with this fic in mind :P thank you! /bows/

One question: is it Griffindor or Gryffindor? I always wrote the first… /sweatdrop/ But I see the second way too much… -.-; Anyone knows?

Comment and Critic pll! And please don't give up on this fic! I promise there WILL be updates!