|Digital City Diaries
Author: The Diaries Guild PM
Reality is fantasy. And Fantasy is reality. Step into a world, where everything you know about Diaries, is wrong. Ryan Griffin and Shaun Garin present, Digital City Diaries.Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,703 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 05-18-05 - Published: 09-16-04 - id: 2059400
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Digital City Diaries
written by Shaun Garin
concept by Ryan Griffin
Digimon Adventure is distributed by Disney and Buena Vista Entertainment, and is originally owned by Toei and TV Tokyo.
This fic is rated PG-13 for sillyness, the half nekkid fighting and other such things people may find questionable. Take two tylenol for the headache this is about to ensure, a cup of sake, yes a cup, and two Rolo Donuts for the requisite chance of even UNDERSTANDING the fic.
Chapter 1 : With a Hey and a Ho and a Silly
Carter Windam, aged fourteen looked up and smirked at the long haired hippie that stomped up. "Any problems O Sultan of the Earth?"
The aformentioned Sultan of the Earth smirked down at Carter as he sat down in one of Carter's ever present and rather battered computer chairs. "Yeah, thanks for repairing my clock." James then punched Carter in the shoulder, more out of habit than malice.
Carter snickered. "I bet you enjoy having the sweet sounds of Hikaru's screaming in your ear the first thing in the morning, James."
James McConnell snickered. "If Hikaru ever finds out you taped her during her first mood swing, she'll kill you. You DO remember what happened to trigger it, right?"
"If she can catch me," replied Carter with a smirk. A hand suddenly came down on Carter's head and he stiffened. Looking up into amused red eyes, he said, "Yo, Hikaru."
"What's this I hear about you taping my first mood swing?" asked Hikaru Ninomiya sweetly. At the tempermental age of thirteen, Hikaru had hit a very fast puberty and had gone through enough mood swings to drive a normal guy batty.
"Ask James," Carter said, brushing her arm off his head with a negligant sweep of his own hand.
"Me? Thanks a lot Carter." James grumped. "It's like this. Carter, take over."
'Wuss,' Carter grumped in japanese. "It's like this. James, the Titan of the Earth decides to ask me to fix his alarm clock since he broke it in a rampaging fit last week."
"Hey, you would rampage too if you had been tied to the bed and the words I Am A Fish had been written on your forehead with Carter taking pictures." said James, but his expression was a wide grin.
"And I did so, but the transmitter was broken. I just timed his alarm to a recording of your last mood swing." Carter then ducked out of Hikaru's reach as she tried to strangle him.
"I'm going to wring your neck for that!" Hikaru screeched dangerously as she got Carter in a chokehold.
"Ack! James! Save me!" Carter yelped, half laughing.
"No way man," James said, shaking his head. "You got yourself into ACK!" Suddenly, James was tackled from behind from a six footer norse blonde. "Sean, ACK! Mercy mercy mercy!"
"No dice!" Sean chortled, rolling around with James, putting him into a headlock. "Hikaru, grab his leg!"
Hikaru dragged a half protesting half laughing Carter to the floor and the four tumbled around like a pack of crazed maniacs. "She's got my leg!" James yelped as Sean turned on Carter and the pair grappled at each others heads, trying to get the upper hand.
"And it's Hikaru on the ropes! Spinning elbow drive!" Hikaru jumped up and brought her elbow down as James yelped. The little japanese girl did not weigh that much, but when Sean and Carter jumped atop yelling "Dog Pile!" it was pretty much confirmed that added weight made for quite the pile drive.
"Mercy mercy mercy!" James called out as Hikaru finally let go of his leg. Extending a hand, she helped James to his feet. James grinned devilishly. "Nice panties. Wear that skirt often?"
Hikaru's expression turned evil. "Yeah. For that, lets see your knickers, bucko!" An immediate pantsing followed, followed by yet another tustle that left the four teenagers in their underwear.
"We have got to stop doing this," Sean gasped as his long blonde hair was completely messed and draped over Hikaru as she giggled madly, one hand still clutching James' pants. Her long red hair had come undone from it's long braid and the floor looked like a mass of red and gold.
"Maybe," said Carter as he caught his breath. "Until we grow up this is fine. Nice boxers, James. Are those hemp?"
"Hell no," James replied, collapsed face first on the ground after the massive strip fight. "Do you realize how UNCOMFORTABLE those would be?" James smirked and preened in a mock vain way. "They're one hundred percent silk." At the wierd looks, James sputtered, "It was a mock birthday present dad got me."
"He's got a point," Hikaru remarked as she tossed James' pants onto his bare back and reached for her own skirt in case the family walked in on them. "Why does all of our mock fights end up with at least one of us in under underwear?"
"I dunno, maybe it's because we're not shy," said Sean, tickling Hikaru who squeaked and pushed him onto the floor.
"Just for that, I'm tossing your pants out the window," Hikaru said, grabbing Sean's pants.
Sean laughed as he got to his feet and posed. "Call me Captian Pantsless!"
"Captian Whack is more like it," Carter said, hitting Sean with a pillow.
"Them's fighting words! En guarde!" Sean grabbed a pillow and started hitting Carter with it. James got up from his prone position on the floor and grabbed a pillow.
"Attack of the Hippie!" Carter yelled as James issued a battle cry and dove into the fight. Feathers flew everywhere as Hikaru grabbed a sheet, wrapped it around herself and grabbed her own pillow.
From the door of the room, Libby smirked as she shook her head. "Kids."
Renamon cleared her throat as Wisemon came out of his trance. "If you're done channeling Pharoahmon and his doo-hickey of premotions, you might wanna figure out how to get the machine up and running?"
"Er, yes. Quite right." Wisemon wandered over towards the machine that was pointed towards a television set. "In theory, this should be able to make contact with the Earth Realm so that your partners can come and rescue you."
"In THEORY?" Exclaimed Penguinmon. "You haven't even tested this thing?"
Wisemon nodded. "It was kind of slapped together at the last moment since the world we are in now is starting to become unstable."
"Lost in translation," grumped Plotmon. "With chewing gum and spit."
"Three books short of a full bookcase," added Renamon.
"And the books are dirty magazines," finished Penguinmon.
Wisemon sweated, a large oversized sweatdrop falling down the back of his head. Normally one could not do this, but in a dimension that typically defied logic, things occoured. Clearing his throat with a few coughs, Wisemon turned to the machine and said, "All right, lets fire this puppy up."
"I'm already fired up to see James again," Plotmon put in smartly. There was a general rolling of eyes as Wisemon hit the power button.
It roared to life with the sound of a eight cylinder motor and whined. The end began to spin rapidly and then suddenly spat a green light at the TV. The TV flashed and beeped and then the machine cut off suddenly.
"What, that's it?" inquired Renamon in the aftermath of the big production.
"Yep." Wisemon settled into his couch and picked up the remote. "Lets see what's on channel 2, shall we?"
"Excuse me chap, but is this Edmonton?"
Koushiro blinked, the english coming in through a bit roughly and replied in his own japanese, 'No, this is Odaiba Japan.'
'Ah, I see,' replied the Wisemon as he adjusted the volume on his side of the screen. 'Sorry to bother you then. We'll try another channel. Toodles.' With that, the screen changed to the news.
Koushiro blinked and blinked again. 'That, was odd.'
Be Ann shrugged as she munched on some popcorn. "I DID rent a movie, you know."
"I doubt I wanna see Sleepless in Seattle," Kyle retorted as he flicked to another channel. The image though made him pause as the Wisemon surrounded by digimon showed up on the channel he flicked to. The Renamon leaned in and knocked on the screen. "Yo, is this Edmonton?"
"Er, no, this is California," replied Be Ann.
"Ah, all righty then. Thanks a lot." The Renamon wrestled the remote from the Wisemon and clicked the switch. The broadcast then changed to a sporting event.
Catherine's father nodded. "Of course." He then flicked to the channel currently displaying news. But to their surprise, the same Digimon popped up on the TV screen. And they were currently wrestling with the remote.
"Gimme that," snapped Penguinmon. "Hiya," he said, waving to the dumbstruck people on the other end. "Is this Edmonton?"
Catherine and her father looked confused for a moment as Catherine replied in a bit shakey english, "No, it is not. May I help you?"
"Just having some transmission problems, that's all," replied Penguinmon, getting the remote wrestled from him by the Plotmon. "Hey Plots, let go!"
"Tough, it's my remote now," replied Plotmon with a grin. "Sorry to bother you. Later."
Plotmon snickered as he flicked to another channel. The screen then displayed a man dressed in fatigues and wore dark sunglasses. "Yo, is this Edmonton?" inquired Plotmon conversationally.
"Not really," said the man as he seemed to check something on his end. "Check channel 480." With that, the line terminated.
"Ooo-kay, that was wierd," remarked Penguinmon as he picked up another soda while punching in the number on the remote. With a blip, the channel changed, displaying a face on the TV who jumped. "Yo, is this Edmonton?" said Penguinmon gibly.
The girl on the other end turned towards the back of the room and shouted, "Carter! Get yer butt in here!"
"C'mon Libby, I haven't found my pants yet!" exclaimed Carter as he walked out in a t-shirt and boxers. "I'm not ready to face the.... gwa?"
"Carter!" Penguinmon exclaimed in delight. "You're so big now!"
Carter blinked owlishly under his messy mop of green hair. "Um, this is new. Hi guys, what's up?"
Penguinmon turned red. "What's up? The world is collapsing and you're asking us WHAT'S UP?!"
But before Penguinmon could go on a tirade, Renamon shoved him aside. "Carter, is our partners there?"
"Yeah, they are." Carter turned around and shouted, "Oi! Guys! Get out here, our partners are on line one!"
Hikaru walked out in her bra and panties as she was trying to fix her hair back into a braid. Sean was struggling into his pants and James was trying to get his shirt on. Renamon raised an eyebrow. "Do I WANT to know?"
"Pantsing fight," said Carter dryly. "So, what's the big problem?"
"The dimensional pocket is starting to collapse," said Wisemon as he wrestled control of the remote and turned up the volume on his end. "We're working on a way to open a Digi-Port to your world with the limited energy I have on this end."
"I'm sure we can help with that," said Sean as the schematics started to spit out of the Fax Machine. "These your plans?"
Wisemon nodded as Carter took the papers and smirked. "This is nothing," he declared as he reached over and grabbed a camcorder from the wall. "I'll get this finished in twenty minutes."
"Best not be timesing that by four," said Hikaru with a smirk as she shrugged her dress on. Carter stuck his tongue out at her as he went to work, pulling a tool box out from under the couch.
Nothing happened for a minute and then suddenly, it spat a beam of red light and a door flared into life. For about half a second before the machine sputtered and died with a spitting of fireworks. Carter jumped back from the machine as it started to smoke. "Under twenty minutes huh?" said James, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up," replied Carter as he opened the casing and prodded it. "Looks like I burnt out some diodes in here. Must have been old. Hikaru?" Hikaru looked up. "Can you go to the hardware store and pick up some C-22 Diodes? I won't be able to get this thing running without em."
James looked at the burned mess and remarked, "Why don't you MacGuyver the thing with duct tape and a paper clip?"
"You're watching too much TV bud," said Carter as he prodded the innards. "On one hand, this is a complicated piece of work, and secondly... hmm.... Libby? Hand me the paper clips."
"That's our Carter, the living incarnation of MacGuyver," said Hikaru as she shook her head.
"I prefer to think of myself as Jack O'Neill, thank you very much," replied Carter smartly as he fixed the burned out machine with the paper clip and started to duct tape it together with some minor adjustments here and there."But you're not an idiot," put in Sean helpfully.
"He just likes Jack cause he gets to play with the cool technology and make sarcastic quotes," said James with a smirk.
"Right. Run along now James and go play with your rocks," mocked Carter as he stepped away from the modified and duct taped camcorder. "Stand clear!"
Pressing the play button, a beam of red light shot out and a blue-green door irised open. Hikaru looked at the others and then turned to Carter with a question. "Isn't the door supposed to be red? Or preferably white which means non-threatening or damaging to life?"
"Must be the Paper Clip," said James with a smirk. "It was turquoise."
"All right campers, lets move out!" said Sean as he grabbed a grappling hook that they had hauled out of Carter's back room. He then leapt through the door and vanished in a flash of blue-green light."We're off to see the Wizard," chimed in James as he dove through the door.
Hikaru looked at the portal and the modified camcorder which was humming softly. "Are you sure this thing'll work?"
"I MacGuyvered it," replied Carter as he prepared to take a running jump. "Trust in the paper clip."
"Get moving," said Hikaru with a laugh, shoving Carter headfirst into the door. She then jumped in afterwards.
"Feel lucky you wern't on the bottom of that dogpile," remarked Hikaru. She then shoved James away with a shout of "OFF!"
James got up and straightened his clothing before saying, "So... anyone remember which direction we were supposed to go?"
"Not a clue," said Carter as he looked around. "I think it's that way."
"Great, I'm stuck in the forest with the Three Stooges," Hikaru said, rolling her eyes.
"And if we're marooned, we're calling you Ginger," Sean cracked.
"I dunno, Hikaru feels like a Mary-Ann to me," said James, ignoring the brilliant shade of vermillion Hikaru was turning."You sure?" Carter reached over and tweaked her bottom. "Yeah, Mary-Ann."
With a series of resounding slaps and whacks, the three men were laid out on the ground, eyes spinning as Hikaru hefted the Bunny Slipper of Doom that she kept in her vest pocket for such an occasion.
"Guh...." said James eloquently as the world spun. "Forget Mary-Ann, make that Lina Inverse!"
"We need to get rid of that Bunny Slipper," said Carter as he stood up unsteadily, stumbled around like he was on Rum and then helped up Sean who had a glassy expression on his face. "You all right there?"
"Never better," Sean drawled in an Englishman drawl with an unusual roughness. He stumbled around in what seemed to be a drunken walk and said while turning, "Captain Sean Gagne doesn't be put down by a wee bonny lass - savvy?"
"Aye that is," said James, standing up, his semi-concious form weaving to and fro. "Not as much as my name is James McConnell! Kicked out o'the navy meself was! I'll sail with ye Captain!"
"Aye! To whatever pirate ship we work with!" crooned Sean as he stumbled away.
Carter caught up to the pair and Hikaru who was looking at them like they had died and reanimated themselves through screwing their own brains in wrong. "Are we in any position to leave them like this?" he asked.
Hikaru glared at Carter and the green haired teenager matched the hue of his hair with his face. "You brought it upon yourself. You know Sean and James stumble around like drunken pirates when they get thumped."
"And I'm usually with them," said Carter."Why aren't you stumbling around like they are?" asked Hikaru offhandedly as she watched the pair weave back and forth. Somewhere from the folds of James' shirt, he had produced a flask of something and they were sharing swigs of it. Hikaru desperately hoped it wasn't alcohol, as the pair were a couple of loonies when drunk.
"Maybe its because you didn't hit me too hard?" Carter suggested.
"Right. Go and get that Magic Potion from them before they go around thumping Digimon like they're a couple of Gauls attacking the whole of Rome." Hikaru slapped Carter on the shoulder and the older teen grumbled but went to try and get the flask from them.
James eyed the tree that they stood next too. Coincidentally, the tree bore nuts the size of watermelons and the tree smelled like Lemon Mr. Clean. "You sure? I'm certian we've passed this tree a while ago."
"We're lost," stated Carter.
"We're not lost," retorted Sean. "I know EXACTLY where I'm going."
"Oh really?" drawled Hikaru.
Dead silence. Then, Carter smirked and said, "And what do these tracks tell you oh great leader?"
Sean looked down and said, "Well lets see... they're about our height... our weight... looks like two of them are wearing boots, a third sneakers and the fourth seems to be weighed down by something heavy... why?"
"These are our own tracks you nimrod, we've been walking around in circles!" James exclaimed hotly.
"Circles eh?" Sean looked nonplussed as Hikaru rubbed her forehead.
"All right, lets try to think of this for a minute." she said.
"I like swords," stated Sean.
"Correction, WE'LL think," said James, earning sniggers from the other three who had played along with the gag.
"All right, we just need to get our bearings straight." said Hikaru.
"Ooh, I know. We can navigate by way of these tracks." Glares. "Well we COULD..."
"Okay, okay," said Carter shaking his head while pulling out a device that looked remarkably like a Star Trek Tricorder. "We're cutting you off 8-Bit Theatre."
"Phooey!" exclaimed Sean as James sniggered and Hikaru shook her head.
Carter tapped a few buttons and James looked over his shoulder. "Are you sure you know what you're doing? The LAST time you used this, it lead us into the Girls Locker Room.""Of course! It worked just like I programmed it!" said Carter, earning a sharp kick to the shin from Hikaru.
As Carter hopped about on one leg, James reached out, patted the tree in a very hippie manner and said, "Sorry about this old pal." He then took out a knife and carved an arrow into the side of the bark. "There. Now we won't get lost."
"I suppose that's one way of doing it," said Hikaru as she looked around. "Okay lets see about getting out of this place."
"I don't feel anything off," said Hikaru as she looked down at the ground.
"We could..." started Sean but was cut off by a chop to the chest by James.
"Right. Break out the food kimosabe," said Carter, flinging himself to the ground and removing his backpack.
"Well we could follow the arrows," remarked James, pointing towards the large neon flashing arrows that read "Thataway."
Carter blinked twice and then said, "I guess I ain't complaining then."
"Oh no, remember the LAST time we followed the arrows?" said Sean. "You nearly got us into trouble!"
"How was I supposed to know that you wern't supposed to follow the arrows painted on the ground?" shot back Carter. "Besides, it was your fault to begin with!"
"Take that back!" Sean shouted.
"Or what? You'll flog me ya pansy?"
"That's it! En Guarde!" Sean took a swing with a sword that appeared in his hand due to the dimensions wierdness. Carter brought up a shield that appeared and the pair bashed each other around while James and Hikaru ate lunch.
"You think we should stop this?" asked James curiously as Carter was bashed into the air, grabbed and was tossed across the way in a Maxi throw. The green haired teenager got to his feet and then performed a nice little Cassandra throw that hurled the other into the bushes.
Hikaru shook her head as she sipped at her water bottle. "It's good for them. Besides, they can't physically hurt each other with anything that they can conjour up in this world anyhow.""That's true," remarked James as he glanced back at the pair. Carter was swinging Kilik's quarterstaff while Sean fought back with Soul Edge. "Those two have been playing Soul Calibur again haven't they?"
"Yep," said Hikaru as she nibbled at her sandwich. "Non-stop for the last few days."
"Ow! You jerk!" Carter ran in, wielding Rapheal's fencing sword in an attempt to flog Sean who was putting arrows into him via Link's bow.
James raised an eyebrow. "Maybe it stings just a bit. At least the sensation of a sword bouncing off your arm would hurt. Or getting shot in the head."
Hikaru nodded as she wiped the crumbs off her shirt and looked over at the pair. They had switched weapons again and Carter, demonstrating incredible flexibility, grabbed Sean in a Taki throw with his leg and whacked him across the head and tossed him across the room. Sean flipped to his feet and green energy formed a large blade in his hand and he ran at his opponent screaming bloody murder. "Someone should record this," the red head remarked as she fished around for a usable camcorder in the backpack.
"I agree," said James as the pair fought back and abruptly Sean changed to Cervantes, slammed both swords through Carters stomach, lifted him up and bashed him on the ground. James winced. "Nice shot!"
"Who needs video game consoles with entertainment like this?" chimed in a new voice. The pair jumped and spun to see their Digimon standing behind them looking rather amused."Yo," said Renamon. "You guys sure are slow."
"Not our fault, this wood is endless," replied James as he made room for them to sit down for a bite to eat. The pair were still fighting it out, but they were still grinning.
"So, how long has this been going on?" asked Penguinmon as he looked over at the pair. Sean was beating Carter with Asteroth's giant Axe while Carter blocked the attacks with Sophitia's shield.
"Long enough I'd guess," said Plotmon with a grin. "Should we stop them before they perminantly hurt each other?"
"I dunno, I could use the footage for Drama class," said Hikaru as she giggled while filming. Sean and Carter were now beating each other up with katanas as Sean was imitating Yoshimitsu due to the large flag on his back and Carter opted to imitate Mitsurugi. A paticularly vicious upwards blow launched Sean skyward who landed with a thud.
"Come get some!" crowed Carter as he brandished his katana.
"You are not a Jedi yet!" shot back Sean as his sword abruptly changed form, lancing into a green energy blade.
"Sean, I am your father!" cried Carter as his own sword turned into a red energy blade.
"NOOOOO!" screamed Sean as the pair fought, the typical sound of lightsabers humming and clashing echoing the laughter of their friends.
"This.... is the silliest thing I've ever seen in my life," remarked Renamon as everyone nodded.
James grinned. "I want in." Getting up, he stretched out his hand and a giant paper fan appeared in his hand. "BANZAI!"
"Man, this is awesome," Hikaru giggled as she continued filming. "I hope I don't run out of tape."
Otherwise, that epic three way Gundam-Megazord-Zoid battle he saw raging over the Forest of Whack would have leveled the area.
"It was all fun," replied Hikaru as she patted her camcorder. "I can't wait to go home and edit this into a movie."
"Nevertheless, you need to go now," said Wisemon. "I was able to stabilize the pocket dimension but it'll require some time to regain it's old form. The best thing to do is to remove all digital life in the dimension as it stands, aka Digimon. I will remain here to maintain it in hopes that you can return for one of your more... epic battles."
"Can't wait," chorused the three teenagers and the Digimon and Hikaru laughed.
"In any case, it will be sad to see my roommates leave after all this time," said Wisemon but there was a twinkle in his eye.
"You're just happy to see me and Penguinmon go," remarked Plotmon blandly. Wisemon coughed for a moment and shrugged.
"Well, time for us to go. Thanks for everything Wisemon." Sean marched out the door, paused and said, "Does anyone know where we left the door?"
After some squabbling and twenty minutes there was a flash of light behind the forest and silence. Wisemon heaved a sigh of relief, went indoors and turned on the maintinance generator to start repairs. Picking up a nudie magazine from his shelves, he flopped down and began to read.