File name:

Disclaimer: I don’t own Rurouni kenshin or the Olympics, although I do own the international federation of commentators… nup, that’s a lie too…

Sorry to everyone that doesn’t use the metric system… I think 10 meters is like 30 feet or something, although I’m probably wrong...

Men’s 10m platform The day had begun with a promising start, Kaoru had surprised her three male friends by spending some of the prize money Kenshin and Sano had won in previous events to supply them all with front row seats to the mens 10m Diving event.

Kenshin reached over and grabbed a packet of chocolates from the overflowing spare seat in between Sanosuke and Yahiko.

'Oi, a's 'ine!' Sano told him angrily his mouth bulging at the sides spraying a mouthful of crumbs over Yahiko indignantly.

The boy looked up once, glared at his older friend and turned back to his own bag, not even bothering to brush the crumbs from his hair.

'I'm sorry,' Kenshin told him cheerfully, clearly not sorry at all. 'I don't speak glutton.' He turned and offered the newly opened bag of chocolates to Kaoru smiling widely. 'Would you like one Kaoru-dono?'

She blushed faintly and smiled at her friend. 'Why thank you Kenshin, I'd love one!' She began reaching her hand towards the offered bag, but before she could grab one. Sano quickly pushed Kenshin's face into the packet and then just as quickly retracted his hand in the off chance the red-head retaliated.

Kenshin raised his head and spat the mouthful of chocolates that had accidentally wedged into his mouth, back into the packet.

Kaoru jerked her hand back quickly. 'Ewwww...' she informed her friend

in disgust.

Kenshin frowned thoughtfully. 'No, I don't blame you.' He said, examining the packet. 'I don't like nougat either. 'Still, waste not, want not.' He popped a chocolate into his mouth with a shrug.

'Baka, that isn't what I meant!' Kaoru yelled, slamming him on the back. Which caused Kenshin's mouth to open in surprise, and the half-chewed chocolate launched itself across the room. The four froze as they watched it sail gracefully through the air and land with a wet squelch right on the 10m diving platform.

'Oh, oh!' Sano muttered gleefully.

'Guess you'd better get that,' Yahiko said with a grin. 'Someone could

slip.'

'Orooo...' Kenshin muttered, standing wearily.

'Oh, and Kenshin?'

The red-head turned warily at the tone of Kaoru's voice.

He sweat-dropped when she handed him a pair of bright-blue swimming

trunks.

'Do us proud, ok?'

He hung his head in defeat and headed for the changing rooms, ignoring the

sniggers from his friends.

As Kenshin changed quickly, he heard the commentator address the audience.

'Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that we have received a late entrant, a Mr Himura Kenshin. And as for no reason at all we are going in order of shortest to tallest, Mr Himura will be the first to dive.' The audience applauded politely as Kenshin sprinted out from the change rooms and up the steps to the platform so fast he didn't even look the other divers.

'Mr Himura has reached the platform and appears to be employing a new technique.' The voice over the loudspeaker said doubtfully.

Kenshin had dropped on all fours as in seach of his hiding chocolate, cursing whoever it was that had decided to make the non-slip matting of the diving platform a chocolate brown colour.

'Yes!' he thought in elation as he finally found it and stood back up, a little uncertain of what to do now he had the missing chocolate gripped safely in his rather tight grip.

'Would Mr Himura please jump?' the voice over the loudspeaker said impatiently after a few moments of silence.

The ex-assassin stared at the mushed chocolate for a moment before shrugging and shoving it into his mouth.

'Eeewww…' Came three voices in unison from the audience. Kenshin swallowed and cleared his through. 'I can't dive now Announcer-dono!' He informed politely. 'You have to wait an hour after eating before going swimming.'

Silence filled the stadium, broken only by the steady tap, tap, tap of the announcer’s pen, which he was tapping in frustration next to the microphone.

Minutes passed and no one spoke, Kenshin began to fidget uncomfortably as everyone continued to start at him.

'Would someone push him or something?' the announcer asked finally, apparently deciding to ignore Kenshin completely.

There was a whooshing noise behind him and Kenshin turned warily to see Hiko standing behind him grinning evilly... 'My pleasure.' The taller man said moving towards his student with both arms extended.

'Shishou?' Kenshin squeaked, his wide, violet eyes taking in his shishou's green speedos. 'What are you wearing?' he asked, quickly averting his eyes.

Hiko shrugged. 'You didn't expect me to wear something like that, did you?' He asked distastefully, gesturing at Kenshin's trunks.

There was a wolf whiste from the audience.

'What are you doing here?' the red-head shrieked'

Hiko shrugged casually. 'Diving pays for sake.' was the literate reply. 'Anyway, you have to jump now baka-deshi. You're holding everyone up.' He pushed Kenshin to the edge of the platform.

'I've just eaten.' Kenshin protested weakly as he looked down into the

deep abyss of water.

Hiko grinned again. 'Not my problem. Off you go!' and he pushed his student so hard that he went flying off the board sideways.

The last thing Kenshin saw before his descent began was the evil grin

which was still gracing his master's features.

I'll show him. Kenshin thought as he began to fall. He thinks he's so cool, but I can be just as cool. I'm also trained in Hiten Mitsurugi and I'm much more agile than him so I should have no troubles beating him. He grinned as he thought of the perfect dive to defeat his master.

He bunched himself up to begin himself spinning, before opening himself as wide as he could. (think Pocahontas) and opened his eyes…

…to discover he was three feet away from the surface of the water. He sweat-dropped and hit the water with a loud 'Ack!' the sound of his 10m high belly flop resounding off the walls of the stadium. The audience groaned sympathetically as one, before breaking into loud and appreciative applause.

Kenshin surfaced painfully to find his Shishou taunting him from the platform above.

'Baaaaka! What have I told you about lengthy and pointless internal monologues when you're falling?' He asked.

Kenshin ignored him and simply floated sea-weed like to the edge of the pool.

'And that!' The announcer yelled happily through the microphone. 'Was an absolutely flawless example of what not to do! Call me sadistic ladies and gentlemen, but at times I love this job.'

The audience still applauded as loudly as they could, cheering and whistling.

Kenshin flopped over the edge of the pool to the semi dry tiles surrounding it. 'Well, at least that's over.' He sighed.

'Oh no, Mr.' Kaoru began, appearing from nowhere to loom over him. 'You still have another dive and you will redeem us!' she snorted out a puff of smoke and her eyes gleamed red.

Us? He thought to himself. 'But it still hasn’t been an hour since I last ate, and I was always told …’ He sighed and gave up. ‘Urgh, I’ll just go.' He stated, finally coming to terms that she would not let him escape.

‘Excellent!' she purred, pulling him up by the arm. 'It's only you, Hiko and another contestant competing anyway.' She waved and sauntered back to her seat.

Kenshin looked up warily. Another contestant? A rougue puff of smoke snaked it's way in front of his eyes. Kenshin groaned. 'Oh, no.'

'Oh yes, Battousai.' Saitoh said from above him.

Kenshin still had his eyes to the ground. 'Why you?' He moaned helplessly 'Why always you?'

Saitoh gave a derisive snort. 'It’s an unexplainable enigma of life Battousai, besides, you're just jealous.' he told the shorter man.

Kenshin looked up genuinely bewildered and instantly wished he hadn't.

'Ack.' He said again.

The ex-Shinsengumi was wearing a very revealing pair of skin tight tigerprint Speedo’s.

'You're just jealous your shrimpy little legs could never compete with the lithe beauty of mine.' He concluded, twirling in a little circle.

'Excuse me?' Kesnhin asked as he tried to look anywhere but at the leg Saitoh was flexing in his direction.

'You heard me, Battousai,' Saitoh stated. 'We all know you're the size of a stunted child.'

Kenshin levelled a glare at the man and puffed himself up to a semi-intimidating height. 'I'll have you know, Saitoh.' He began, his patience finally snapping. "I am NOT short.'

Saitoh stopped dead in the middle of flexing his other leg and wobbled slightly staring at Kenshin.

'Excuse me?' he asked quite politely.

'I am not short.' Kenshin death glared him.

Saitoh placed his leg carefully back on the ground before reaching up to clean out his ear with his finger. 'One more time?'

Kenshin made an exasperated noise and brushed past him, back on his way to the platform. He felt a presence behind him and looked over his shoulder... to find that Saitoh was practically plastered to his back.

'Do you mind?' Kenshin asked, irritated.

'Mind what?' Saitoh questioned innocently.

'Stepping back a few paces.' The red-head growled through gritted teeth.

'Oh…' Saitoh said. 'I'm sorry, my long, strong legs must have been going so fast I didn't notice what tiny steps you were taking.'

Kenshin gritted his teeth harder until he felt a tooth crack.

Growling, he realised they had reached the ladder to the platform. 'You. Go.' The rurouni grunted, gesturing upwards with a fist.

Saitoh sauntered to the ladder and began to climb, with each step he took the taller man would kick his other leg out behind him ridiculously, all the time watching Kenshin's growing fury. He was so intent on his taunting that he hadn’t noticed he had run out of ladder and fell face first onto the platform where Hiko still stood, watching the scene in

amusement.

Panicking, the wolf pushed himself up so quickly he unbalanced himself and stumbled forward gracelessly right into Hiko.

Hiko caught the shorter man in the chest and stepped backwards to regain his balance, only to find that they had run out of board.

His eyes widened as they fell and in the noble spirit of Hiten Mitsurugi, Master Hiko grabbed Saitoh by both arms and swung him over his head.

'Wow!' Sano said to the others in the stands. 'Even to his apprentice's greatest enemy, he still shows mercy.

Yahiko spoke in admiration. 'So this is true Hiten Mitsurugi?'

Kaoru nodded in awe.

All three sweat dropped when Hiko finished his upswing and brought the now screaming Saitoh back down and stood on his back, riding the shorter man like a surfboard.

The splash for the impact showered the entire stadium with water.

'He used Saitoh to break his fall...' A drenched Kenshin said weakly to no one in particular.

The ripples gradually faded and Hiko's smiling head suddenly popped back out of the water, he flicked his long hair dramatically from side to side a few times before swimming one handed back to the side of the pool, the other busy flashing a peace sign at the audience.

His grin widened when he saw Kenshin, still dripping standing next to the platform.

'How was that, baka?' he asked proudly.

A shell shocked Kenshin completely ignored this question and asked one of his own. 'Um… where's Saitoh?'

Hiko turned back to the pool just in time to see the tigerprint Speedo's bubble back to the surface... without Saitoh inside.'

'Hah!' Hiko answered. 'Wherever he is, I'm gonna guess that he's none too warm right now.' he grinned.

Kenshin sweat dropped and was about to answer when a commotion from the stands distracted him, he turned his head towards the sound of female screams near the exit.

His sweat drop grew in size. Saitoh had somehow clambered from the pool and was now covering himself with a pair of VERY badly fitting, frilly female bloomers.

He was sprinting as fast as he could towards the exit, entire front bright pink from the impact with the water.

'Someone stop him!' the voice over the loudspeaker demanded. 'He has another dive!'

Saitoh screamed as he ran, eventually forming words. 'No, I can't dive with my lovely legs all covered up like this! I refuse!' he sprinted faster finally reaching the door. With a final shriek that echoed to the top of the stands, he side kicked the door so hard it broke in half. Saitoh paused in his escape long enough to lovingly caress the leg that had freed him, before he bounded loose into the street.

‘Great’ the commentator said dejectedly. ‘And that leaves all of,’ there was a snapping noise as he finally broke his pen. ‘Two contestants.’ He continued in a deceptively calm voice, the audience heard him inhale loudly. ‘Now, would someone please jump before I do? Shrimpy it’s your turn.’

‘I have small bones.’ Kenshin stated haughtily.

‘Whatever.’ The announcer said negligently, loudly chomping a rice cracker right into the microphone. ‘Just go.’ He continued with his mouth full.

Kenshin glared up at the speakers box for a moment before reaching a decision. He climbed up the ladder to the diving board quickly, ran to the edge and jumping high into the air performed a series of spectacular flips and turns and landing perfectly in the water… feet first. ‘Woah…’ Yahiko announced as Kaoru clapped loudly and Sano gave a low, impressed whistle.

The rest of the audience, having more of an idea of what the sport of diving entailed collectively slapped their own foreheads.

‘Nooooooooo!’ the announcer screamed, banging his microphone on the desk repeatedly. ‘That was so close. So close!’ he dissolved into sobs, before the audience heard the sound of his chair sliding back as he stood.

'I can’t do this.’ He said .’I don’t need money to live, there’s plenty of dust I can eat… it’s low in fat and I’m sure it’s nutritious.’ He began to laugh hysterically. There was a loud bang, a thump another scraping of the chair and a loud whine of feedback as the microphone changed hands.

‘Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen.’ A new voice began calmly. ‘There were…technical difficulties.’

‘Saitoh?’ Kenshin yelled from the water.

‘Yes, Battousai and I don’t know if anyone told you this, but the aim of diving is to land head first into the water.’ He stated smugly from the commentators box.

Kenshin blushed as Hiko began to laugh loudly at his expense.

Kenshin frowned in thought and yelled up at the commentators box, desperately trying to keep some of his dignity. ‘But, what happens when there is no water?’ he asked. ‘It wouldn’t be practical to land head first after diving off a mountain would it?’

Hiko smacked his face with his hand and the audience groaned again.

‘You really are an idiot.’ He stated. ‘Diving always has the water, there is no such thing as dirt diving we always land in the water and we always land head first. Those are the

two main rules of diving baka.’

Kenshin blushed angrily. ‘No one told me that.’ He muttered.

Hiko grinned. ‘You never did do your homework.’

‘If you ahou’s are done, I’m going to suggest either my gatostu or some diving.’ Saitoh growled.

Hiko grinned again as he looked away from his irate student, towards the commentary box. ‘Why not show us your legs instead?’ he taunted

A very small sweat-drop appeared on his head as a long, police uniform covered leg smashed its way violently through some of the glass panels on the box and began flexing at the audience.

Kenshin face-planted onto the wet tiles, and several gagging noises could be heard from anyone who had been drinking in the audience.

‘Now, dive.’ Saitoh said imperiously, pulling the leg carefully back through the window. Hiko turned and automatically began climbing the ladder, deeply humbled after his taunting had backfired so badly. After he had reached the top, Hiko seemed to have regained some of his old confidence. He grinned down at Kenshin. ‘This is what a perfect dive looks like Baka deshi, not like that sad excuse for a diver legs McGee up there.’ He gestured vaguely up at the commentators box.

The audience held it’s breath as he centred himself in preparation for the dive, he held his arms wide and bent his legs as he began to spring, he took a deep breath… and was crash tackled right off the diving board by Saitoh (who was not very happy about the legs McGee jab).

The audience froze in shock.

The pair fell towards the water, each throwing and dodging punches at the speed of light. They landed in the water with remarkably little splash and after a moment resurfaced to continue their battle.

A whine of feedback was heard as yet another person picked up the microphone.

‘And the winner of the Men’s 10m platform goes to Himura Kenshin for the only thing even remotely resembling a dive.’ Kaoru yelled triumphantly through the mike.

The audience clapped and roared in appreciation as Kenshin face-faulted in shock.

‘Is there no security up there at all?’ He mumbled wildly. ‘It seems anyone can just stroll in there and say something…’

‘Oooh.’ He heard Sano’s voice say. ‘Rice crackers.’

The audience began to move as everyone prepared to leave, each talking about the entertaining experience they had just seen, several people mentioned the possibility that it had all been staged.

Kenshin met up with Kaoru, Yahiko and Sano who had taken the rice crackers the first commentator had been eating and was now munching on them himself.

Sano gestured at Saitoh and Hiko who were still biffing it out in the pool. Saitoh now had a bloody nose and Hiko a black eye.

‘Should we stop that?’ He asked, spraying crumbs all over Yahiko.

‘No.’ Kenshin said with a wink. ‘Shishou would kill me if I interfered in the middle of a fight like that. Besides,’ He added, gesturing as the two swordsmen punched each other in the face at the same time both flopping back into the water gracelessly.

‘They look like they’re having fun.’ He chuckled and walked out of the stadium. The three looked at each other before shrugging and following after their red-haired friend, the sounds of cursing following them through the door and down the street.

Author’s note: Well everyone, what do you think? I know it took a while for that chapter and I’m sorry for anyone that got impatient or lost interest in waiting for it, but hopefully a couple of you will get a kick out of reading it.

Any suggestions for other sports for the famous athletes (grin ) to compete in are always welcome.

I’d also like to thank Hasso for getting me off my lazy butt and inspiring me to dig this story out of the dark abyss I call a room and finally typing it up.