The Uncanny Spider-Man

Chapter 27: Another New Job

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics.

Avengers Mansion-

'Come on, Tiger. Get a move on or you're going to be late!' Mary Jane Watson tried to hurry her husband. It was Peter Parker's first day at a new job, and she didn't really want to make a bad first impression.

'I'm moving! I'm moving!' Peter responded as he hopped around the bedroom trying to put on his shoes. 'Is it me, or has somebody been messing with my shoes? I bet somebody's been messing around with Pym Particles. May, have you been playing around with Mister Pym's stuff?'

'Nuh-uh.' May Parker, Peter and Mary Jane's young daughter, shook her head. 'Maybe you need new shoes, daddy.'

'Aww, man.' Peter grimaced. 'It's my first day, and I don't want to make a bad first impression.'

'I told you they should have been cleaned.' Mary Jane shook her head. 'Why didn't you ask Jarvis last night?'

'The poor guy's got enough on his plate looking after Tony Stark without me throwing my battered shoes on top of the pile.' Peter said. 'I don't think anybody will notice… will they?'

'Aww, you worry too much.' Mary Jane smiled as she tied her husband's tie for him. 'Now, come on. The cab will be here any minute.'

'Be good to your Aunt May.' Peter said as he kissed his daughter goodbye. 'And get Hildy to steal cookie for you, okay.'

'Yes, daddy.' May nodded in understanding. 'Have fun. Love you, bye-bye.'

The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, later-

A taxi cab drove up the drive of the Xavier Institute of Higher Learning and pulled up outside the mansion.

'You sure you wanna go in here?' The cab driver asked. 'You do know that this place is fulla muties, don't ya?'

'Some of my friends are mutants, thanks.' Peter told the cab driver as he paid the fare. 'And I don't think they appreciate being called names.'

'Eh. Don't blame me when the whole place gets trashed by some giant robots or somethin'.' The cab driver sniffed as he drove away.

'What a lovely man.' Peter muttered sarcastically as he and Mary Jane headed for the front door. Peter raised his hand to knock on the door just as it opened.

'Mr and Mrs Parker, a pleasure to meet you.' Jean Grey smiled as she shook the pair's hands. Peter blinked in confusion. 'My name's Jean Grey. I'll be showing you around.'

'Uh…'

'How did I know you were here?' Jean tapped her temple with a finger. 'I'm a telepath. Plus, we have a bunch of security cameras all over the place. Mostly telepathy, though.' Jean then beckoned the pair inside. 'Please, come in.'

Peter and Mary Jane followed Jean inside as the redheaded mutant closed the door behind them with a wave of her hand. Peter opened his mouth to ask a question.

'Telekinesis.' Jean said before Peter even had a chance to ask how she closed the door without even touching it. 'I'd step out of the way if I were you.'

Peter's Spider-sense started to tingle, alerting him to trouble, just as Jean had predicted. He pulled Mary Jane out of the way just as a russet wolf cub came barrelling down the stairs followed by a rather peeved-looking redheaded woman.

'Seth! Get back here!' Rahne Sinclair called after her son. 'It's time for your bath!' The Scottish mutant stopped once she noticed the guests. 'Och. I dinae see ye there.' Rahne apologised. 'Sorry about Seth, it's time for his bath and he just refused to get in to the tub.'

'Your son is a wolf?' Mary Jane asked. 'But you look…'

'Normal?' Rahne finished for her. 'I wish. Seth has inherited my powers, just like his brother and sister. I can change shape into a wolf, y'see.' The redheaded Scot changed into her werewolf form as an exhibition of her powers.'

'Rahne is one of our teachers here at the Xavier Institute.' Jean explained. 'Rahne, this is Peter and Mary Jane Parker. Peter's our new teacher.'

'I'm sure ye'll love it here.' Rahne smiled. 'Just as long as ye dinnae mind the odd wolf cub runnin' around the place.'

The group bade their farewells and moved onwards.

The teachers' lounge, a little later-

'And this is the teachers' lounge…' Jean said as she led Peter and Mary Jane into another room. 'This is where most of the teacher's hang out when they're not taking classes.'

'Ah , Mr and Mrs Parker, I presume.' Hank McCoy grinned as he looked up from his book. 'Henry McCoy, honoured to make your acquaintance.'

'This is some lounge you guys have here.' Peter said as he looked around at the room. 'Wow. Is that real marble?'

'Emma insists on it, my boy.' Hank explained.

'Oh, right.' Peter nodded in recognition. 'The blonde lady without many clothes.' Mary Jane shot her husband a withering glare. 'Terrible stuff.' Peter cleared his throat nervously. 'Walking around like that in a school of all places.'

'Emma Frost also happens to be my partner, and the mother to my son.' Hank pointed out. Peter winced inwardly. He really wasn't making a good first impression.

Mary Jane frowned as she smelt something rather unpleasant.

'What smells like burned steak?' The redhead asked just as a singed Wolverine walked into the teachers' lounge.

'Enjoy your Danger Room session with Deadpool, Logan?' Hank enquired. Logan just growled in response and headed to a row of cubby-holes and took out a bottle of Scotch, taking a swig from it.

'Whoa, wait a second here…' Peter said. 'Did you say Deadpool? Deadpool is a teacher here?'

'Wade lives on the premises with his wife and children.' Jean explained. 'He works in the city, but lives in a cottage on the grounds.'

'Deadpool's married?' Peter spluttered in disbelief. 'And he has kids?'

'The infamous Mr Wilson takes a lot of getting used to, but he does seem to mesh well with the children.' Hank chipped in. 'Perhaps it is because he and the children are so alike.'

'Let me show you around the rest of the Institute...' Jean beckoned to Peter and Mary Jane. The trio walked out of the teachers' lounge and headed onwards down the corridor. An all-too familiar tingling sensation alerted Peter to danger again.

'Hello, Mr Parker…'

Peter jumped in surprise at the eerie voice. He turned around and saw three identical blonde girls standing behind him.

'Girls, what have you been told about scaring the new teachers?' Jean admonished the girls. 'Sorry about the Stepford Cuckoos, Peter. They like to try and freak out new arrivals. Run along now, girls. Don't you have classes to get to?'

'See you around, Mr Parker.' The Stepford Cuckoos all spoke as one. 'We're sure we'll have a lot of fun together.'

Mary Jane chuckled at her husband's shudder of dread.

'Oh, Don't be such a fraidy-cat, Tiger.' Mary Jane laughed. 'They're just three girls. What harm could they possibly do?'

Meanwhile-

Many miles away, in the deepest catacombs of Castle Doom, Loki was once again making mischief. The God of Mischief was joined by the recently resurrected Norman Osborn. (1)

'How long is this going to take, Loki?' Norman complained impatiently. 'You gods can waste all the time you want casting spells, but we mortals have things to do.'

'Patience, my dear Norman.' Loki reassured his companion 'resurrecting the dead is quite a task, even for a spellcaster of my magnitude. Now, if you will stay silent, then I will continue.'

Loki began to chant in words that Norman didn't recognize. A cloud of purple smoke began to come together in front of him. Chunks of the smoke broke away and began to form human shapes. Those human shapes began to form into figures that Norman recognised. Figures that were supposed to be dead. Quentin Beck, the original Mysterio. Sergei Kravinoff, the original Kraven the Hunter. The psychopathic voodoo priestess known as Calypso. The imperfect clone of Spider-Man known as Kaine. The demonic duplicate of Spider-Man known as the Doppelganger. (2)

'Why the hell have you brought these idiots back to life, Loki?' Norman demanded to know. 'Okay, at least Kraven and Mysterio have some sort of reputation, but two evil duplicates of Spider-Man? You must be running out of ideas.'

The Doppelganger hissed angrily at the insult and leapt at Norman, only to be deflected by a swat of Loki's hand.

'You want your revenge against Spider-Man, don't you?' The God of Mischief asked. 'Well, here's the means to that revenge. Have fun, won't you?'

TBC…

Next: Spidey's Blackest Night

Peter and Mary Jane are invited to a school reunion. Unfortunately, the Green Goblin and the rest of the recently resurrected villains decide to attack on that very same night.

Author's Notes-

(1)- Loki brought Norman back from the dead in the 'Uncanny Cabal' one-shot.

(2)- Mysterio committed suicide in Daredevil 7. Kraven committed suicide in Amazing Spider-Man 294. The Doppelganger was seemingly slain by Carnage at the end of the Maximum Carnage crossover.