Author: j752572 PM
Gilderoy escapes St. Mungo's because he thinks Hogwarts needs him, maddness ensues... on hold.. for... untill i get motivation..sorryRated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Gilderoy L. - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,090 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 09-26-04 - Published: 09-18-04 - id: 2062004
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
For an hour and fifteen minutes Harry stood there looking at Gilderoy with Horror and Gilderoy for the first ten minuets just smiled at him, nothing was said, all he did was look at him and smile. Then He started talking to Harry about how great it was going to be and haw much time they could spend together, then his conversation turned to all the extraordinary things he did, even though he didn't do them. Harry's thoughts for that hour and fifteen minutest was no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then it changed to this isn't real this isn't real this isn't real. Please gods kill me now.....no scratch that Voldemort attack Hogwarts (and fail) but get me out of this please.....some one...no, no, no, no.
"And you see Harry it wasn't that I really meant to kill the vampire, in fact I was there to stop a werewolf, but in the end I got them both. Of course people swarmed around me for my autograph nearly ten times more then normal after that one I can tell you, and-" He looked at Harry who seamed to be frowning. "Come now Harry don't be jealous, you may be almost a tiny bit a good as me someday don't worry. You know what I will help you after all I am the winner of Order of Merlin, Third Class, and Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weeklys' most charming smile award. With my help I am sure you will make at least the second page, after you can't really make the front page with me around can you? Why, I remember one time they had pictures of me eating breackfast, I am just that important, I did, however convince them that......"
Harry was not listinging at all, infact he was having a conversation as Gilderoy spoke, a conversation with Voldermort. Voldermort had used the link (trying possess Harry again) and when he found out what Harry's predicement was he laughed, and Harry had heard it.
:Come now Harry if you just joined me I promise you will never see this man again:
:Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head!:
:I am only trying to help:
:Out, Out, Out:
Harry pushed Voldemort away with as much force as he could muster and finnally turned his attention back to Gilderoy, who was still talking about himself, this time he was giving Harry pointers on good dental hygene. "Now Harry a good smile is important if you want to be famouse and I-"
"Your crazy!" It was the first time Harry spoke so Gilderoy decided to listen, obviosly if he was interupting him it must be important. "You don't even have a clue do you? None of the stuff you did was real! You obliviated peoples memorys and stole there storys! It was all fake!"
Gilderoy thought this over for a moment. I know he is trying to tell me something, it just doesn't fit together. He said it was all fake OH! He held Harry's shoulder and looked at him straight in the eye, this was a matter of great importance and Harry needed to understand. "Now Harry, I know it may seam that some of my exploits are fantastic and they seam a bit far fetched, but I assure you , you don't need to worry, none of what I wrote was a publicity stunt, I am not like some celebrities who go around in flying cars and.....flying cars?" He looked at Harry and laughed all of a sudden a clearly amused expression shown on his face. "Gave you the bug didn't I?"
"Huh?" Was all Harry could get out. "Harry, Harry, Harry, I understand. Natural to want a bit more attention once you've had that first taste – and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head-" "MY HEAD! You think fame will go to my head! I can't believe this, you and your stupid numb head of yours! I don't want to be famous! Do you understand me? No, you don't because all you want is to be on the front page and make everybody love you and show off your STUPID BIG TEETH! YOU GIT! Now I know why you keep them so clean, it's so people can see them around that huge swelling ego! Why don't you just leave me alone you prat, go and defeat Voldemort and then, and only then will I let you teach me anything!"
"Harry, its ok, I don't care that you're not as famous as me, I really don't, you don't need to worry at all. Look I will take you to the Three Broomsticks tomorrow, and we can talk it over a butter beer for now just get to bed, I don't want bags to show under your eyes if the press finds me there, wouldn't look good for the pictures you see. I am sure the headmaster will let me take you even if is not a Hogsmade weekend, I have my ways you know." He left Harry with a wink and went to find the headmaster.
Gilderoy went to the great hall to see if Dumbledore was there, and he was indeed there, eating dinner with the other professors. Gilderoy realized that he was rather hungry so he sat decided to sit and eat first. He gave everyone a wave and a brilliant smile and sat down at the end of the table to eat. A thought occurred to him, He didn't say hello to the professor next to him, how utterly rude, he turned to see Severus Snape, looking pointedly down at his food. Obviously trying to show the utmost respect for me, and I do deserve it.
"Hello Severus," He said cheerily with a pat on his back. "How are you today?" Snape turned to look at him, he was as per usually smiling, He glared at him then returned to his food. "it is ok, I know it can be straining to be next to some one like my self," He thought he heard Snape mutter something along the lines of "you have no idea." But he continued. "No one will compare us, I am sure of it, so don't worry of what people think of you." He gave Snape a small comforting hug and the great hall went silent, Gilderoy however went back to eating his potatoes.
Nobody spoke; the entire student body of Hogwarts just stared at the pair wondering what Snape would do. The Slytherin's started speculating on what poisons their head of house was going to use. "Going to be a tooth rot potion I'd reckon!" No, no! Something more sinister like the sleeping death." Yeah but how would that hurt him?" "it would be a lot easier to get locks of hair for more painful spell's, plus he could ruin his face, Merlin knows what he would do if he woke up and his face was all mangled!" the laughter from the Slytherin's stopped as Snape calmly stood up and pulled out his wand, e pointed at Gilderoy and walk out. Nothing happened until he walked out, Then Gilderoy's head started swelling, but he took no notice and kept eating and smiling cheerily. The students all laughed loudly, although some were still trying to muffle if out of respect, the laughing died down after a few minutes. Dumbledore got up and taped Gilderoy with his wand, and his head shrunk back to normal. He turned back to Professor Trelawney and said, "You see I told you he wouldn't do anything that I couldn't fix, he is temperamental but not that bad."
Gilderoy turned to ask the professor what who did, but he couldn't speak, instead a loud screeching came out. He clutched his throat and fell to the ground weeping. For the second time the great hall erupted with laughter. Dumbledore tapped him again with his wand and Gilderoy's voice came back to him.
"How will I ever do an interview again? And my adoring public! What will they think when I can't give a speech? I need to give speeches, it's what I do.....PEOPLE LOVE ME!" He pulled a large lilac handkerchief out of his robes and blew loudly.
"Now, Now Mr. Lockhart its ok we fixed the problem" Dumbledore said smiling. "You fans will be able to hear you again."
Gilderoy looked up with hope shining in his eyes, "Really?"
"I had better try it out," He said getting up, then without warning he started singing, and not just any song either, as you will soon find out.
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has ev'rything?
Look at this trove
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Lookin' around here you'd think
(Sure) she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
(You want thingamabobs?
I got twenty)
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancin'
Walkin' around on those
(Whad'ya call 'em?) oh - feet
Flippin' your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Strollin' along down a
(What's that word again?) street
Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wish I could be
Part of that world
What would I give
If I could live
Outta these waters?
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm on the sand?
Betcha on land
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women
Sick o' swimmin'
Ready to stand
And ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions
And get some answers
What's a fire and why does it
(What's the word?) burn?
When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore that shore above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world
Gilderoy: I LOVE THAT SONG!!!!!!!!!!
J752572: That one was for you Gilderoy
Gilderoy: That makes me so happy.... I know ......pulls out trusty sharpie and signs a photo....... I drew a stick figure on that one you know. It's even better then a smile face. beams
J752572: Gee thanks Gilderoy, this really means a lot to me .......puts is in box filled with Autographs from Gilderoy......
(A/N) Thank you so much for your reviews, you have no idea how much they mean to me I love you all
Gilderoy: yes she does
J752572: OO how...? But this is me talking apart from the fic.... Your not really here.....
Gilderoy: There is no pillow