“Sirius had an odd way of helping his friends. Truth be told he really wanted nothing more than to make the few people he cared about as happy as possible. Or as happy as he was. So, he would go out of his way to do unnecessary thing and often ending up just causing trouble.” – Owl and Crow, Sexual Education

A/N: This chapter took me forever to write. Please be nice to it.

Chapter Sixteen

Lily was crying. James could tell. When ever she was sad he felt like someone was strangling his heart. The feeling was so intensely painful for him that he had a hard time controlling his power. It seeped off of him often affecting the things around him in strange ways. This time it affected the weather. One second the sky was so clear you could make out the stars perfectly, the next second the sky was thick with clouds. Thunder boomed high in the atmosphere and lightning ripped across the sky.

James paced back and forth in front of the Portrait Hole waiting for Lily. He knew that she was heading towards the Common Room, he had checked her whereabouts on the map. But for whatever reason it seemed like she was taking far too much time to return to him.

James turned back to the map when Lily finally walked in, with tears still streaming down her cheeks. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her sweetly.

“What is it?” James asked. “What’s the matter?”

Lily sniffled into James’ robes and rubbed her eyes. “I’ve gotten your shirt all wet,” she said.

“Oh, Lily love,” James said. “I don’t care about that. Now, what’s happened?” Lily looked out the window at the rain pounding against the glass panes.

“When did it start raining?” she asked.

“When did you start crying?” James asked back. Lily gave a slightly annoyed, slightly watery glare.

“I asked you a question, James. I expect an answer. Not a- a- a conversation diversion in the direction you want it to go!”

“Lily, when you are unhappy my heart hurts and it becomes impossible for me to control my power. That time, four years ago when your cat died and you cried for two days, do you remember that?” Lily gave a choked sob in remembrance, James grimaced and thunder boomed outside. “For those two days I was in physical pain for the first time in my life. My house shook randomly, things vanished unexpectedly from my hands. Your unhappiness caused me so much pain that I couldn’t control my magick. Since your crying now I’ve started a bloody rain storm and I can tell you that it won’t stop until you’re happy again. So, I wasn’t diverting the conversation, I was trying to answer you to the best of my abilities. The storm started when you started crying.”

“Wow,” Lily said, the awe evident in her voice. “You must really love me. I mean Sirius told me you did, but to hear it put like that… well, wow is all you can really say.”

“Of course I love you, Lily. I’ve loved you since I first saw you. Now, before my heart bursts, will you tell me what’s wrong?” James asked, again. Lily paused and James waited.

“Are you going to Speciology tomorrow?” she asked, finally.

“By the Gods, Lily! How am I supposed to make us both feel better if you won’t tell me what’s wrong?!”

“Just answer the question, James!” Lily said, wiping the tears from her face.

“I wasn’t planning on it, but Sirius, Remus and Pete won’t let up on it, I might just go to shut them up,” James said. He felt a stabbing pain in his heart as Lily gave out a choked sob.

“Please don’t go!” Lily said. She grimaced at the desperation in her own voice. The confused look on James’ face told her that he noticed it too. “I mean that, I’d um………… ah well, I’d rather like to…… ah- um… snog you during that class.” James squinted at her. “Well, we haven’t had a good, long snog in a while and I figured that since you wouldn’t be going to class anyway we could spend that time snogging each other’s brains out.”

James gave her a skeptical look and crossed his arms. “Lily, what’s going on? Where were you just now?” he asked. Lily grabbed the front of her boyfriend’s robes and thought fast.

“I’ll let you touch my breasts,” she said. James gawked at her.

“You will?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Why?”

“I’m in love with you, James. At this stage in our relationship I feel that that sort of intimacy is more than appropriate,” she said, with a bit of a quake in her voice.

“Your obvious passion for me is astounding,” James said sarcastically.

“Well, it is. Quite astounding if I do say so myself. And when we’re snogging feel free to touch me any where you like. Not just my bosoms. But my bum as well as other places. And if you want-”

“Lily please,” James said interrupting her. “You don’t mean any of that. We haven’t been dating long enough for you to be really comfortable with me touching you like that. Now, either tell me what’s really wrong or I’ll be going to Speciology tomorrow to find out for myself.”

“No, please don’t go! Don’t most blokes love breasts? I’ve got two exceptional bosoms and you’re turning them down?! Out of all the boys in this bloody school I had to fall in love with the only one that can’t be bribed with breasts!” Lily yelled.

“Well, tell the whole bloody tower, why don’t you?” James growled.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of your back talk. I’m your girlfriend, so you’re going to do what I tell you to and you’re not going to ask questions, do you understand?” Lily asked.

“Bloody hell, Lily-”

“No! Tomorrow morning after breakfast you will follow me to your dorm and touch me all over my body, do you understand?”

“Fine,” James said.

“Good.” James started towards the door. “Where do you think you’re going?!”

“You didn’t say anything about going to see Juarbe tonight.”

“He’s trying to take you away from me!” Lily yelled in desperation. James turned back towards his girlfriend in confusion.

“What?” he asked. Lily felt her eyes start to water again. It figured that she could not keep the truth from him.

“He wants to take you back to your father. It was your father that sent them. It wasn’t a coincident that all the Pagans that came were your old friends, your father planned it that way, so that you would want to go home. And once you are home, he’s going to force you to be king,” Lily said, with tears streaming down her face.

“Lily.” James walked back and pulled her into his arms.

“Please don’t leave me. If you love me-”

“Lily don’t,” James said, shortly. He pushed her out of his chest and looked her in the eyes. “I’ll talk to Juarbe. Find out what’s really going on. But first there is something I must do.”

“What?” Lily sniffed.

“I have to remember my life.” Lily squinted at him, confused. “When I first came here, I forced myself to forget what I’d lost, why I was sent here, I forgot the bad memories and the good. But I think it’s time that I remember it all.”

Lily nodded sadly.

“Lily, I have to do this. If I don’t know everything that has happened to me, then I can’t make an informed decision about what ever it is Juarbe means to do to me. Please stop crying.” James pulled Lily back into his arms and lost his face in her hair.

All the while the storm raged outside.

--

When Remus Lupin found out that he was going to be attending Hogwarts he never thought that he would get into Gryffindor. He thought for sure that he would be sorted into Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw if he was lucky. He just never considered of himself as a brave or loyal person.

Before he met James, Sirius and Peter he did not have any friends because of his lycanthropy. His parents tried to get him to go out, but he always had a hard time connecting to people.

It was not until he met his fellow Marauders that he really opened up to people. He wanted desperately to tell them about what happened to him once a month. But he also desperately wanted them to never find out about it. He worried every month that they would confront him about his perpetually sick mother.

Instead, they came to him with the truth.

And to his surprise they did not once mention abandoning him or spreading the truth through the school. No, all they talked about was what, if anything, they could do to help making it easier on him.

Even though his friends welcomed him with open arms, he still had a hard time trusting new people. One of the many reasons he did not know why he had been sorted into Gryffindor.

A Gryffindor would open up to the girl that had shown an interest in him. He would actively seek her out and snog her like crazy.

But as Remus wondered the halls of Hogwarts looking for Remy, he began questioning how brave he really was. When he found her, would he actually kiss her? He knew that he wanted to, but he was bit sure if he would get up the courage to actually do it. Once he found her, he would not have at chance to think on it anymore.

When she popped out of the library and walked right into him, he began to panic. Remy stood pressed against his chest for a moment, before stepping back. She made to walk around him, but he blocked her way.

“What the hell do you want?” Remy demanded.

That was a loaded question and Remus knew it. If he did not say exactly what he wanted he knew that he would lose her forever. And then they would both be more miserable then they already were.

Which made Remus confused. Before Lily mentioned Remy telling her friends that he was forcing loneliness on himself, he never thought that he was forcing himself to be lonely. Sure she had said the very same thing to his face a few months ago, he never really absorbed it until recently. He knew he was lonely, he just did not know why. Well, he knew now and he sure as hell was not going to mess it up.

“If you’re just going to stand there you could at least let me pass. I have things to do, you know?” she said, none to kindly.

“I have things to say to you,” Remus said, not giving the sentence much thought. He did want to tell her… something. He just was not sure what. Remy started fidgeting under his intense stare.

“I know that James’ girlfriend heard me and Serena talking in the loo. I don’t care that you know how I feel. I told you in the library in September and I stand by that statement. I want to be with you, I think I’ve made that quite clear. Now, if you’ll move, I’ll be on my way.” She moved to walk around him and he blocked her, again.

“If you want to be with me, you’ll wait until I’ve figured out what to say to you,” Remus said.

“Fine, think. But I haven’t got all night.” She sounded touchy and unwilling to listen. Remus did not like that at all. She needed to hear him out if she was going to understand his hesitance at a romantic relationship.

“I need to explain why it’s taken me so to absorb what you said in September. I’ve never had a girl like me and then be willing to call me out on my indecision. Most of them just moved on once they realized that I wasn’t going to do anything about it. You have to know that none of those girls knew about my werewolf issue-”

“It wouldn’t be an issue if you’d just accept it-”

“Be that as it may…… I have always had a hard time trusting people because of it. No Muggle would understand and Wizards are just afraid of me. Until I met James, Sirius and Peter I didn’t have many friends. I’ve had three girlfriends and they all broke up with me because I was unwilling to open up to them. I was then and am now afraid that if I’m honest with a girl that she’ll reject me,” Remus admitted.

“Is there a point to this?” Remy asked.

“You asked what I wanted. And I’m trying to tell you. I want to feel like a true Gryffindor. Brave and loyal. I want to be brave enough to just snog you instead of screwing everything up like I usually do. I want to be brave enough to tell you that I want you. I want to be loyal to you to a fault and I want you to be loyal to me.”

Remy looked up at him for a moment. Remus thought that she would reject him. But his worries were eradicated the moment she grinned and looked at the broom closet down the hall.

“What did you say about snogging me?”