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Author of 360 Stories |
They had returned late that night, almost in the early hours of morning, and both had crashed immediately. Satoshi had been the first to wake, as usual, needing less sleep than his lover. He had made himself coffee and settled down with the morning paper. Krad hadn't emerged from where he was in his mind, silent and distant in a way he hadn't been for a while. In the last twenty-four hours his world had changed abruptly as he had given in to his desires, had taken that last step.
Satoshi finally let the paper sink. He knew Krad wouldn't react to any calls, except if there was mortal danger, which there wasn't at the moment – thankfully. So he lay back on the couch, making himself comfortable. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off into the part of his mind that was his demon's resting place and looked around in surprise. It sure had changed.
Gone was the almost sterile white-gray nothing before, now it was formed into a landscape. Well, more or less. Soft curved dunes were stretching out into the distance, where actually a horizon could be seen, the sky held a slightly faint shade of blue, flecked with occasionally fluffy white spots, and a warm breeze played with his hair. It wasn't actually a desert, but it very much looked like it, despite the colors. It seemed as if the changes in Krad were reflecting on his surroundings, too. Or maybe it was actively his demon's doing.
Looking around for the blond Satoshi finally spotted him curled into his usual stance, knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, staring into space. Hikari sighed silently and slowly approached the being he had finally come to see as a real friend. A friend who appeared to be overwhelmed by his own actions.
Krad didn't give any indication whether or not he had noticed his arrival, so Satoshi simply sat down at his side.
"I remember my first time with Daisuke," he said softly. "It was… unsettling."
Krad didn't move but he knew he had the other man's attention now.
"It wasn't because of emotions. I knew emotions by then. I could feel them without being overwhelmed. I had loved before Daisuke. Well, lusted was more like it. I had had bedpartners, male and female. I had relationships. But with Daisuke it was special. Dai was someone who, if it went wrong, I couldn't just push away and forget about. He was my best friend, someone who knew everything about me, who had helped me become who I am today."
He smiled a little reminiscently.
"We were together for a while by the time it happened. We had touched each other, knew the other's body, but I had never slept with a man before. I was gay, sure, but I had never given myself to anyone in that way. And Daisuke… well, he had only been with girls. My first time with Dai…" Krad watched his host from the corner of his eyes, having noticed the smile in Satoshi's voice. "Yes, it was special. It was on our anniversary. We had a fabulous dinner on the balcony– that man can cook, if he only wants to – and an equally magnificent wine to go with it, candles, soft music, the whole menu. Dai has always been a romantic at heart and he really surprised me with it. It was an almost perfect evening – until a storm rolled in. We did our best to save the dinner, but we ended up soaked to the skin. Power went down on top of it when lightning struck, so we had to relight the candles."
Krad listened almost breathlessly. There was a softness in his host's voice that he had come to recognize – Satoshi usually used it when talking of or talking to Daisuke.
And him …
"He looked at me with this large brown eyes of his, dripping wet, shirt sticking to his body," Satoshi continued, "and then he stood in front of me. I'll never forget his kisses that night. It was the first time he said it out loud."
Krad didn't dare to move or needed to ask what Daisuke might have had said. He knew it too well. He had wanted to say it, too, and it scared him.
"I was… totally nervous afterwards. You know, this awkward morning-after feeling. We were together for one year, and I felt uncomfortable. But one thing I never regretted – having waited for him."
Satoshi hadn't had partners before Daisuke? Krad blinked in disbelief. He remembered only too well, how the girls had used to swarm around his host, even when he had only been fourteen. Well. Maybe it was this – girls. Satoshi hadn't been interested in them, even back then he had only wanted Daisuke.
"Dai saw it, and he even understood. He had been with a girl before – not that he saw a girl in me, I took care of that – but somehow he understood. He always had. And we talked about it. Speaking of which," Satoshi rose, "looks as if someone's knocking on your door. If I were you," he smiled at Krad, "I'd let him in."
Krad peeked around the form of his host to see a dark figure waiting in the distance.
Dark.
Oh shit …
Almost timidly Krad looked up at his host, begging silently for moral support, but Satoshi shook his head.
"Sorry, this you have to do on your own. I can't possibly know about your feelings. We share one body and mind, but emotions are a different matter." He smiled a little. "Hey, but one thing I know for sure – I'm glad you finally took that last step. I was tired of getting a hard-on by looking at Dark."
What?
Satoshi smirked. "You let your guards down lately."
And with that he simply turned, nodded at Dark and disappeared.
Krad turned and watched the thief walk closer slowly, almost hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure what to expect. Krad was simply mesmerized by the graceful movements of those long legs – legs that had closed around his waist, pulling him deep into the other's body…
He swallowed hard at the memories.
"Krad."
A voice, deep and rich, moaning his name…
"Krad?"
He looked into the deep pools of violet that were his lover's eyes – eyes that darkened even more, clouded with passion…
"Did I do something wrong?" Dark asked slowly, sitting down at his side, clearly hesitant to touch him.
Krad shook his head. "No. I just needed some time."
You never did anything wrong. I think it was me who made all the mistakes, starting from wanting to kill you to pushing you away when we grew closer…
"To think?" Dark hazarded a guess.
Krad didn't meet his other half's eyes.
A hand brushed over his arm, briefly and lightly, but it left a little tingle. "Krad, to finally be with you, to share this with you, feel you like I haven't felt anyone ever before… it was amazing. All I can say is we should have done it much, much earlier… and, koibito, I love you."
"How do you know what love is?"
"Because I felt its beginnings before."
Krad glanced at him. "With Harada Rika?"
"In a way, yes. It was a fledgling feeling, one that I didn't understand at all. It made me sad, it broke my heart and I was confused about it all. I didn't dare let her touch me, kiss me… love me. I ran. I knew there would be no future."
"You see a future for us?"
Dark smiled softly. "Yes, I do. What do I have to do to make you believe that? To believe me and in me? Trust me?"
"I do trust you… it's me I don't trust," Krad whispered.
"Krad?"
"I'm not an impulsive person by nature." At Dark's twitching lips and raised eyebrows, he gave a little snort. "Most of the time. I rarely lost control over myself. I never did anything without a back-up plan, without making sure to have everything covered. But I jumped into this head first, Dark Mousy, and I don't even know what 'this' is. I can't tell you I love you because I don't know how it feels. But I… I want to learn. Help me?" he pleaded.
Dark's hand was back, this time touching his hand, fingers entwining. "Always. I'll learn it with you. It's not like I know all the answers either."
The kiss was sweet and soft, and Krad felt arms wrap around him, holding him, pulling him close.
"I'll never let you go, Krad. You're mine."
Mine. Somehow it sounded good to him.
And for a brief second Krad thought he heard his host chuckle.
"Sato?"
Sleepy dark eyes looked at him as he blinked, Daisuke standing over him with a mug of fresh coffee.
"You talked to Krad?"
He nodded. "Looks he finally got it."
"Took him long enough."
Daisuke pushed him away a little, snuggling into the warm cavern between his lover's body and the cushions, sighing in contentment.
"You have to know it."
"Sure do. Can you ever forgive me for being so dense?"
Lips met in a tender kiss. "I send a bouquet of flowers to Emmett every year."
"You what?"
"Kidding."
Satoshi grinned, carding his hands through the thick strands of his lover's hair as he pulled him closer into a much more heated kiss. But before he could run a hand under the pajama top, Daisuke pulled away.
"No time, sorry. There's a paper that needs to be written, my professor needs to see me about something or other, and I'm sure you have neglected you work abysmally."
"I never neglect my work." Satoshi pointed toward the newspaper. "See?"
"Hn."
They parted after another chaste kiss, and Satoshi watched the retreating form of his lover, before he returned to his reading. A picture caught his attention and he studied the article that went with it.
"The Staff of Herodes," he murmured thoughtfully.
Life was back to normal.