Hindsight

by Tali

Spoilers: Season Six

Author's Note: This is my first foray into Third Watch fan fiction. I've always been a fan of the show, but have never written anything. I don't know what to think of this one, it just started writing itself after yesterdays ep 6 x 3 Last Will and Testament.

This is angsty at the end. Angst. Angst. Angst. That's all I can seem to write lately. It might even warrant a Kleenex! warning, if you cry somewhat easily. I got slightly choked up when I wrote it...anyway, here it is...

-x-

She didn't know why she did it.

She didn't know how she didn't control the impulse.

She didn't know what she expected of it either.

Some sort of magical, fairy tale, happily ever after type deal?

Did she figure it would turn out like the movies and books Emily had read when she was younger?

Was she supposed to believe that because she did it, it would only get better?

Better.

Try worse.

It wasn't fair, and before she knew it, she was holding his hand in a death-grip.

She was afraid to let go.

Afraid it would get worse, if she truly let go.

So she waited, dumbly.

Dumbly waiting for a miracle that she knew was never going to happen.

Dumbly waiting for his hand to become warmer, for him to blink...

something.

Something that wasn't going to happen.

Maybe, with that thought in mind, she did it.

Maybe, being that frustrated, didn't let her control her impulse.

But maybe doesn't matter.

She did it, and it's over.

It's over.

As much as she willed it not to be, knowing that he never was going to get better.

The way he was.

Maybe doesn't matter though, and maybe doesn't help you.

She did it.

She kissed him.

In same moment of time of trying to save him, she let him go.

She didn't mean to, but she did.

-x-

End.

-x-

Bosco, get better dammit!

In the meantime though, let me know what you think.

sidenote: That was Faith's point of view, just in case anybody couldn't tell. ;