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TV Shows » Stargate: SG-1 » No More Butterflies font: B s : A A A . width: full 3/4 1/2
Author: Dragonflysoul
Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Jackson, D. & O'Neill, J. - Reviews: 87 - Published: 10-03-04 - Updated: 08-01-05 - Complete - id:2081340

Out Came the Sun

/“The itsy-bitsy spider went up the waterspout,

Down came the rain and washed the spider out…”/

Like saran wrap to glass, Jack's clothes clung to him in a sodden mess. He was cold, wet, tired and he couldn't wait to get home - something he felt like he'd been trying to do for a month now.

Headlights piercing the night, the truck radio was low as the announcer recapped last week's fall festival and Jack couldn't help but think how...alien his world had become to him.

Last week, people had parades, kids played on the closed streets bathing in the crisp scent of autumn and food and Jack was sitting in a war-plagued village thousands of light years away, trying his damndest to control his rage. Because despite all the progress his best friend had made... Despite the fact that Daniel had control over his body again and wasn't trying to kill himself anymore-- he would still always be encumbered with pain...even when his own body wasn't.

/ “There’s nothing we can do about it, sir.” The purpose of her statement was an attempt at comfort, as poor as it might have been, but her voice betrayed her anyway and came out reflective.

Jack was sitting beside her, looking over the village from a distant hilltop. “I know.” Two words, so pregnant with remorse, they fell and shattered on the ground as soon as they left the colonel’s mouth.

He hadn't kept his promise. He failed. Jack had sworn and sworn to him that he'd figure out a way to fix things. And he couldn't. And for the first time since the nightmare had begun, Jack didn't think...he just didn't think he was strong enough...

Closing his eyes, Jack rubbed his hands down his face and sighed. He was worthless. And it was tearing him apart.

Looking over the community as people went about, struggling so hard to rebuild, Major Carter shook her head and bit her lips. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to feel this way. So sad, so desolate. She didn’t want to be the one that couldn’t control her emotions. She didn’t want to be the one that hurt Daniel.

Taking a deep breath, she fought to detach herself from what Juni had told her…from what she had already known. “No amount of distance will make a difference, sir,” she spit out, forcing herself to say it fast and get it over with. “Isolating ourselves from Daniel won’t save him from…” but her words choked on a long coming sob and the tears she cursed finally escaped with silent remorse. “Nothing can,” she whimpered hoarsely.

Jack didn’t even look up from his gaze on the village and this time when he spoke, his words shattered before they even left his mouth. “I know.” /

Jack wiped a hand down his face and sighed. Four weeks ago he was heading home with his best friend-- hoping against hope and his gut feeling that it really was just the flu that ailed the younger man. And now after traveling the same route that catapulted Daniel into hell all those weeks ago, Jack realized that as much...as much as Daniel has been through...it was only just the beginning.

Pulling into the drive, Jack turned off the engine and sat back in his seat. Wearily leaning his head back, he turned to study his friend...who was still curled up asleep against the door. Daniel might have the ability to bounce back like no one Jack had ever known, but now due to the extra strain on his body and spirit he could also conk out quicker than a little kid back from a week of summer camp.

Of course... Jack mused. they were puddle jumping. God help him if anyone caught that on tape!

One second Daniel was practically beaming- which was more therapeutic for them than any favorite childhood pastime could be, and the next he was breathing deeply, lost to slumber. Unexpected, a smile eased its way across Jack's face...and found its way onto Daniel's as he tried to snuggle his way further into the passenger door. Jack had seen him get beaten down again and again...but somehow, some way he always managed to find the strength to get back up again...and again. He was unlike anyone Jack had ever met before...

Lights in his rearview mirror snapped Jack from his reverie. Sam and Teal'c had arrived and now they would finally get the chance to cluck over their young friend in the comfort of their own…well, Jack’s home.

Now wake him, or ...? In all honesty, Jack didn’t think they’d be able to. Daniel would fall into such a deep sleep, that most of the time he actually couldn’t wake up; leaving yet another piece of his friend’s control scattered to the wind.

“Daniel?” he called softly, figuring he’d still give it a try.

When he was given no answer, he decided to play it by ear. If Daniel woke up when they moved him, he woke up…if he didn’t…he didn’t.

Gently stepping out of the vehicle, he went around to meet the other half of his team who were also soaking wet and waiting anxiously at the passenger side door.

“He’s pretty out of it, Teal’c,” Jack stated, reaching for the door handle. “You may have to…”

“It will not be a problem, O’Neill.” The Jaffa interrupted without hesitation and Jack swallowed hard, nodding.

Slowly opening the door, Jack snaked a hand around to stop his friend from flopping right onto the driveway. “Hey, buddy,” he eased, propping him up with a hand to his chest “think you can walk?” He knew it was a stupid question, but he wanted to at least offer Daniel a choice when he could.

A small sigh, however, was all that escaped Daniel’s lips as he curled into the arm that held him and right out of the truck.

“Whoa, easy there,” Jack cried, as Teal’c came up to help him. Legs still in the vehicle, Daniel’s head rested on Jack’s shoulder, with Teal’c’s arms around his waist.

“Well, isn’t this cozy” Jack quipped, not knowing what course of action to take next.

Sam giggled. “If Daniel only knew how cute he looked sleeping.”

“Yes…well, let’s not tell him, Major. No doubt he’d fight the sandman even more than he does now" Jack grunted, trying to maneuver the younger man into Teal’c’s much stronger hands, but Daniel had already wrapped his fingers into Jack’s shirt and was inadvertently taking the colonel with him.

“Uh, Carter, little help here.”


It ended up taking all three of them to get Daniel untangled from Jack…and the same three to coax the semi-conscious archaeologist to let go of Teal’c so he could lay him down on the guest bed.

“Clingy fella, isn’t he” Jack panted, watching as his friend curled into himself.

Sam watched him do the same thing and frowned. “I don’t think he really knows what’s going on, sir. Only enough to know to hold onto what’s safe.”

Jack winced. Even after all that has happened it still unnerved him to see his friend so vulnerable. So needy. It just wasn't Daniel. He didn't ask for this. He didn't deserve this. Jack had to force himself to look away so he could try and quell his rising anger. The last time he had lost his temper was when Juni told him the truth…told him what he had done to Daniel.

Jack was so furious, so blinded by rage…that it brought Daniel to his knees. And Jack to his, right beside him, apologizing faster than he could get the broken words out through his guilt and fear.

“Does Daniel still have spare clothes here, sir?” The question forced him back into the present where he found that Carter had already taken their friend’s shoes off and Teal’c was attempting to ease an unresisting Daniel out of his wet shirt.

“Ah…yeah.” Snapping into action, Jack turned around and started opening dresser drawers. “I think they’re…ah-ha!” he rejoiced, holding up a pair of sweatpants.

“Okay,” Sam replied, taking the freed shirt from Teal’c and adding it to the soaked socks she held. “I’m going to put these in the washroom and then go out and get my extra bag so I can change. Can you guys get his pants?”

Teal’c nodded and Sam left the room, leaving Jack looking after her with his eyebrows raised, wondering what just happened. Wasn’t he the leader? Didn’t he usually make the decisions?

“O’Neill”

Jack jumped. He must have wandered off into his own little world again.

“I could use your assistance.” Teal’c finally clarified, when all Jack did was stare at him.

“Oh!” ...oh.


Closing the trunk of her car, Sam leaned into it. “Come on” she whispered hoarsely, berating herself when she felt her resolve slipping.

She thought it would be easier being able to watch over Daniel at home, in a secure environment, but she was wrong. So very wrong. It just made it all so much more…real. Bringing the back of her hand up to her mouth and clutching her bag, a sob escaped and pierced the clueless night.

It was official now. They could never leave what happened behind them. They could never forget what Daniel had become. The curse--neatly wrapped as a gift, had followed them back home and would be intruding upon the most sacred parts of their lives from now on.

There was no escaping it.

There was no fixing it.

Not even small, precious moments of unadulterated fun could...

Pressing her hand tighter against her lips, Carter shook her head with a strangled cry. "Damnit!" She was supposed to be strong. She had to be strong, because Daniel would be the one to suffer if she couldn't be.

/ “I’m sorry, Janet, I just can’t.” she pleaded brokenly, stepping back and holding a hand up to ward off the doctor, tears pooling in her already red and swollen eyes.

Sam,” Frasier eased. “it needs to be irrigated.”

Emphatically shaking her head, Carter brought a hand to her mouth. "It'll hurt” she sobbed.

Sam," Janet was needless to say, startled at her friend’s uncharacteristic behavior. "I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can and I have a local anesthetic with me.”

Breath catching, Carter went deathly still, then slowly shook her head as tears desolately slid from her eyes. “Not me, Janet!” she cried. It wasn’t herself she feared for.

And as if struck in the stomach, Frasier blanched and knees failing her, eased herself down into a makeshift chair. "Oh God." Leaning forward, the doctor covered her eyes with her hand. How could she have forgotten? How could...“Damnit” she hissed with a familiar mixture of helpless ache and anger.

"Damnit." /

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Carter hastily reached up with a trembling hand to wipe away the thick tears that were marring her face and betraying the composed facade she fought so hard to maintain inside and out. She cursed these moments where solitude and dark corners wrapped around her like a blanket. She cursed them...because she ached for them. These moments offered her release without judgment. They made it too easy. And they reminded her of just how weak she was.

Swiping at a few lingering tears, Sam squared her jaw and fought to still the tiny tremors that were coursing through her body. And as she sought out the strength she needed to walk back into the house, she prayed Daniel’s sleep had shielded him from her latest slip.

“You can do this” she encouraged herself. “You have to do this.”

Then finally, lifting her chin up, she walked back towards the house with her bag carelessly swinging from her loose grip, hoping and praying that her body language hid the devastation that tore through her heart.


She would not let the tears fall in their presence, Teal’c knew this. But though they may not break the surface, there was nothing she could do to stop them from gathering and waiting until they could.

She walked tall. She spoke confidently and took control when Colonel O'Neill was too preoccupied with their younger friend to do so. Her exterior was hard and chiseled to her design...but Teal'c knew she was crumbling inside. And she was not the only one.

Colonel O'Neill would frequently zone out while watching Daniel, as if lost in another time, another place. And he would rarely leave the archaeologist's side for more than a short period of time - afraid of not being there. Afraid of not getting him back if...

Their last stand together had left them all broken down and more exposed, not only to Daniel, but to the casual eyes as well. Sometimes they could conceal the scars they carried. Sometimes they could do nothing but let them bleed.

These were their weakest moments.

These were also the moments that demanded the most strength.

No one would say anything if they witnessed the signs of a faltered mask. They would simply turn away offering the other more time to find composure or silently nod, offering strength…offering absolution they could not grant themselves.

Not even Teal’c remained immune to the surging of the heart. There have been many times his friends have caught him wiping his eyes…and there have been many more times his friends have not.

Sitting in the living room, everyone now wore dry clothes, even Teal'c who had squeezed himself into a pair of Jack's sweatpants. No words were spoken, not aloud anyway. And as deafening as the silence was...nobody noticed it. Because no one was there. Whether they were reliving the past or worrying over the future, their minds only resurfaced enough to listen for any signs of distress coming from the other room. And this went on for a long while.

...until the ticking of the clock wormed its way into Jack's thoughts and he had to go make sure Daniel's heart was still beating in time with it.

And now this is where they waited. …on Daniel’s bed. All three of them. Teal’c sat at his feet while Carter and Jack took up both sides, with their archaeologist sandwiched in between.

Together they made up his very own personal cocoon.

And if people thought they could be overprotective of Daniel before…they hadn’t seen anything yet.

Warning: Shameless Mother Henning ahead.

They didn’t know how Daniel would adjust to being home and away from Juni and Raen’s ever present guidance and support. They didn’t know if he would start to slip back down the hole, or do what he usually did…plunge forward. But either way, they were destined to find out, because at his side they would remain.

There was no where else they’d rather be.


Hammond felt hope for the first time in a very, very long time, creep into his bones and warm his spirit.

That was his SG-1. That was his flagship team. A group of strangers, originally more different than alike, brought together from all directions of the wind by the forces of fate.

Their purpose? Greater than any other in the universe.

Their advantage? Each other.

Hammond couldn’t count the many times their lives had been torn apart. But he knew, he watched, as together they would find the pieces and mend the shattered remains of their teammate, or even keep the pieces safe until they were strong enough to be carried again.

This is what they did. This was SG-1.

If one was beaten, they all bled. If one fell, together they would find a way to stand again.

And if one archaeologist puddle jumped, Hammond mused with a grin, then apparently not even the most seasoned soldiers were strong enough to deny its appeal.

He had originally come to the surface after being informed that they all were just standing out there. Not moving. Not talking. He was going to offer...heck, he didn't know what he was going to offer. He guessed he’d rather give his silent support, than worry about them from his office. But when he reached the surface he discovered, not to his surprise, that they had already found whatever they needed in each other to move forward. ...even if it wasn’t in the most conventional way, George admitted chuckling, as Jack and Teal’c joined forces and launched a wave at the twins that was easily the size of a M.A.L.P.

Course, what was he thinking? Conventional? This was SG-1 after all.

Still, for a team that was set up to fall. They had come pretty damn far. Their very own government didn’t believe in them. Said they wouldn’t make it a week before, one way or the other, there’d be nothing left of SG-1. Because no way could a washed up colonel, a military brat, a civilian and an alien make up a team.

Well they were right about one thing. They didn’t just make up a team. They made up a family. A family that had gotten through a hell of a lot together and no doubt would be going through a hell of a lot more. But Hammond guessed that it really...it really didn’t matter. Not in the big scheme of things. Not as long as they still had each other. The future might be scary. The unknown, paralyzing. But nothing could break the strength and determination...and even love of four very stubborn and dedicated people. Hammond knew this because he’s watched just about everything try.

Yup, these four extraordinary people were not only his best team and a group of people he considered his own family… They were his hope. They were each other’s hope. And that’s all they would ever need.

And as George watched as his dear friends finally drove away, he decided that now it was time to have a little fun of his own.


"Where do we go from here?" Carter absentmindedly asked aloud the question that kept replaying itself in her mind, as she gently stroked Daniel’s hand in hers waiting for him to wake up and show them. At the same time, Jack blindly laid his own hand across their friend’s chest and leaned in searching his face for something Sam could not see.


Daniel was gasping and choking on his own blood as he laid dying and shaking in Jack’s arms. He couldn’t talk around the life that seeped out of him and onto the forest’s floor, but Jack saw in his eyes that he wanted him to leave.

Giving himself a mental shake, Jack found himself back in the bedroom. Bending over, he urgently studied his still peacefully sleeping friend.

God.

“Where do we go from here?” he heard Carter whisper from the other side of the archaeologist.

All their concentration was on the man in the middle, as Jack's words settled over them like a warm blanket. "I don't know." he finally whispered hoarsely, still trying to erase the gruesome images from his mind. "but we'll go together."

It wasn't until the sun stretched across their world and the birds announced a new day that Daniel finally awoke...and found everyone sitting around him. Blushing, he

self-consciously scrubbed at his disheveled hair and propped himself up on his elbows. "What?" he asked casually, stretching as everyone continued to watch him expectantly. "No coffee?"

Four full fledged smiles broke into the room and lit it up more than the sun ever could.

/“Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,”

"And the itsy-bitsy spider went up the spout again.”/


AN: Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through this! Your reviews and words of encouragement kept me going! Stay tuned for the next story in the series! "The Awakening". 

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