Disclaimer: Riku wish he was mine. Kingdom Hearts Riku. Kingdom Hearts wish it was mine?

There aren't enough fics about Riku and Sephiroth that aren't yaoi. I've read some very good ones, but the majority is yaoi. This irritates me. So, here's my contribuation, please don't flame, though constructive criticism is loved.

(divider)

I'm losing them.

I've survived for so long on them, and now they're fading, almost all I have left of outside this place.

Songs.

Music.

I've kept myself sane by remembering. First songs I liked, then that dwindled into songs I abhored and would not sing under any conditions to anyone (songs I made up, nasty songs, N'sync and Britney Spears songs).

But they're all fading.

I can't remember how "Mary had a little lamb" goes anymore.

Heh, I never thought I'd have to say that.

And all this while waiting for Sora to rescue me. The dimwit isn't here, hasn't been, and won't be. Because all there is here is Heartless, and Mickey.

Needless to say, I left Mickey within the first "day" we got here. He didn't want to have to be near me anyway. His friends told him I was like "ice" apparently and I think I freaked him out. (1)

So I've been wandering around in the darkness, using a knife because I'm unable to summon a keyblade. The true keyblade master can't summon his own keyblade.

I hate irony.

Then again, I'm a villain and villains aren't the ones who get the girl and get to save the worlds from destruction.

A Shadow Heartless is tailing me, joined quickly by maybe eight of it's friends. The first one growls, reaching forward a claw to leap. Their favorite attack is to leap from behind.

I turn and the knife is in it's claw before I can think. Seconds later, all but one have disappeared in lightless poofs of darkness. The glowing yellow eyes stare up at me.

'You're already almost half Heartless. Your heart is a taunt to us.'

"Wonderful. I like living." I hiss back. It's all I can ever say to them and sometimes I wonder if it's true. The Heartless, emotionless and enigmatic creature as always, scampers off. It'll be back.

I wonder what it's like to live without a heart...

Never mind, I know.

Even if it's fading, I want to keep what I feel. About Sora and Kairi, even my hatred of Ansem. I don't want to be a heartless.

I already know what death is like.

(divider)

Time passes... if there is time in kingdom hearts.

(divider)

I don't know how long it's been now. The Heartless are in a frenzy right now, and I'm fighting.

They keep vanishing, and I feel envy.

Envy that they can see the light outside?

I'm forgetting the light as well...

I have three names left in my memory; Sora, Kairi and Ansem. I have no pictures to go with the names. I have shreds of emotion attached.

A angel jar makes a dive for me and it's wings flutter frantically as I stop it with my knife. I hate this weapon. Didn't I have a better one? I don't remember...

Kairi gives me warmth, Sora gets me a bit annoyed but makes me smile. I try not to think about Ansem. I don't remember my own name but it was something about the earth...

I'm so tired...

The heartless are limping away. They'll come back though. They always come back, fewer then before.

As they slink away, one hisses at me.

'Your heart's not as bright as it used to be.'

(divider)

More time passes...

(divider)

I'm asleep.

Fast asleep in a sea of unconsciousness. I'm probably wounded, I can't remember.

I think I still have my heart.

I hear singing.

"This is my december, these are my snow-covered trees. This is my december, this is all I need..." The voice stops singing abruptly. I miss it, I haven't heard anything but heartless speech in so long.

"Riku?" It's a man and I open my eyes. There's a silver-haired man, a black wing hanging over one shoulder, looking down at me. It's hard to make out in the darkness but I force myself to sit up anyway, searching for a name to pin to this person.

"Ansem?" I try. The other shakes his head.

"Seph. Sephiroth. Where's Sora? He went to find you almost two years ago. Hasn't he been here yet?"

"I don't know any Sora."

Even though I'm lying a little, the man's eyes go wide. They're mako eyes, like mine. His give off light, amazingly. He grips my upper arm, pulling me up.

I wanted to sleep.

"Ow!" I yell, then fall. And perhaps I'll get to anyway...

"Sephiroth" stares down at me and I find myself feeling clumsy, embarrassed.

"What happened?" He asks and kneels besides me. I feel something wet on my leg, running down my calf at a slow trickle. It hurts...

Sephiroth stares at it, and his eyes are big. I wonder if I'm really that scary to look at. What did he call me again? Ri... ku? He called me Riku.

"Come on." He says, standing. I look up at him, confused. I'm pretty sure he saw some kind of wound that I can't walk on. I don't understand...

"Come ON." His voice doesn't leave room for doubt and I stand shakily. He grabs my arm and pulls it over his shoulder.

"Don't let go." He instructs, and the next thing I see is a bright flash of piercing light.

(divider)

It almost made me let go.

I would have if Sephiroth hadn't had a death grip on my hand.

The light is a knife, and I can feel tears running down my face noiselessly. We've stopped somewhere and I've slid off Sephiroth's back. I can't see where we are and there's nothing but pain...

Pain.

Searing, sharp--

Blackness.

My eyes blink involuntarily and I look around blindly, the pain fading. Did I go back to the dark place? Is Sephiroth still even here?

"S-Sephiroth...?" I is no answer, just silence.

Silence moves me to panic.

"Sephiroth?!" I stand, and feel my legs almost collapse again but I force them not to. Also, I'm on a cobblestone road, which hurts to fall on. I stumble against a giant wooden doorway, listening to the silence that still invades.

"Sephiroth, please..."

More silence, then a soft movement.

"I'm here. You can't stay more then a moment by yourself can you?" Hs voice doesn't have much anger... annoyance maybe? I notice more then I did in the dark place.

"Where are we?" I ignore his question and ask.

"And why is there blackness?" I may as well learn as much as I can...

"We are at Traverse Town, it's black because I tied a blindfold around your eyes. You can't see light." His voice is patient so I try my final question.

"How do you know me?"

There is silence then Sephiroth softly says:

"We simply fought on the same side once." He then takes my wrist, leading me off in some direction. I've never heard of this place. Does Sephiroth live here? I'm walking on a smooth road, Seph still supprting me. He stops.

"This is the place." He informs me quietly and I hear the sound of a door opening followed by a collective gasp, then someone who runs over and hugs me.

"RIKU!"

He knocks me off balance, sending us both to the floor at which moment I push him off, scrambling backwards. Panic runs through my mind, even as I hear the surprised sound from the person who hugged me.

"R-Riku?" He asks, sounding hurt. That I've pushed him away? I don't know him but...

I recognize his scent. Faintly. It reminds me of some star-shaped yellow fruit on a island. But it still scares me.

"Sora, he doesn't remember anything." Sephiroth's voice.

"Then why is he behind you like some scared kid hiding behind his big brother?! Why does he trust you and not me? I'm his best friend! Sephiroth, I've been searching two years and you were never looking for him. Why does he trust you?"

I'm confused. Sora? The memory of a face whispers through my mind, blue eyes and brown hair.

I can only faintly remember the name of sky, and then...

Separation.

"K-Kairi." I whisper and I can feel someone's, probably Sora's, gaze turning to stare at me. Sephiroth's clothing swishes as he turns to look at me as well. Apparently he is in front of me.

"Where's Kairi?" I ask.

There was earth, sky, and separation. A trio. There were three of us... I can remember blurry faces, a redhead and a brown-haired boy. Sora isn't answering.

"Sora? Where's Kairi?"

'Take care of her for me.'

"Riku..."

"Kairi died almost a year ago."

(to be continued...)

(1) Stolen from a comment in "Flaming Shadows", a great fanfic that you should go read! (If you don't mind a massively angsty and sarcastic Riku... /glomps him/)

So? What did you think of the first chapter? Sorry I killed Kairi... she isn't essential to the plot in my mind... I also apologize if Sephiroth is OOC, I tried my best! If you've got a helpful suggestion to make him more in-char, please leave it when/if you review.