Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and all the characters in no way belong to either authors. However, we thank Hideaki Anno for letting us use the wonderful cast of Evangelion for our own stories and ideas, however twisted they may be, hehe.

Author Notes: Facade is the joint effort of Miaka Summers and Natalie M. We both fell in love with the series and immediately saw the potential for dark, grim fanfiction as well as hilarious comedy in Evangelion. This story is a mixture of both extremes. We hope you enjoy our writing, and please leave feedback! We would love to hear what you think, and it would greatly benefit us as writers. Arigatou!

Chapters will be released every one or two weeks. We thank you for your patience! And in the meantime, you can go visit Miaka's website http:ichiban. (yes yes, I know, shameless promotion - smiles cheekily) Enjoy your reading!

"I am Rei Ayanami." Rei spoke softly into her bathroom mirror. Her reflection mimicked her. Lowering her eyes, Rei ran a towel through her damp bright blue hair. She turned, careless disregarding the towel and slipping into her school uniform. She walked into her room and sat down, staring endlessly at the plain wall across from here.

"Silly of me, no school today. How could it have slipped my mind?" Rei whispered, reaching to take off her uniform. She paused and instead lay her hands back into her lap.

"Grilled to perfection my ass! That is burned black!" Asuka complained, moving the plate away from her.

"What? Oh..." Misato glanced at the meat Shinji was stabbing with his chopsticks. "Uh...hold on! Be right back!" Misato ran out the door.

"No school today. Hey, isn't that cool?" Shinji tried to make small talk with Asuka, who tried with no luck to feed the black meat to Pen-Pen.

"Big deal, Third Child! Where I come from, we used to get months off! Not some stupid two days!" Asuka snorted, waving her fork in his face. "Besides, this holiday is stupid! It's on the calendar for no reason!" She laughed, running her hand through her red hair.

"That's not true! The cherry blossom festival is by far the most fun holiday!" Shinji protested, standing up only to be almost knocked over by Misato.

"I'm back! And I'm here to stay!" Misato gasped.

"What'd you do, run half way around the world?" Asuka snapped.

"Nope! Brought a true chef to cook festival breakfast!" Misato smiled.

"Kaji! Where is he?" Asuka cried, looking around eagerly.

"No. Kaji couldn't even slice bread! It's Rei!" Misato laughed, pulling Rei from behind her. Asuka let out a groan and moped off.

"Hi Ayanami!" Shinji smiled. Rei nodded and walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Hey Rei, toss me a cold one, will you!" Misato yelled. Rei grabbed a beer and tossed it to Misato. In slow motion the can flew over Misato's head and right into Asuka's head.

"Oh shiiiii!" Misato screamed, running to catch it. As it hit Asuka on the head, Shinji stood there in shock. Asuka let out a shriek as she crashed to the ground. Everyone went quiet.

"Oh crap," Misato groaned. Shinji looked from Asuka, to Rei, to Misato, then back to Asuka.

"You - you killed her!" he shouted. Rei merely blinked at him. "You did it on purpose, didn't you?"

Misato tried to pacify him. "Now now, Shinji, no need to be so aggressive," she began.

Suddenly, Asuka sat up and let out a shrill scream.

"Yah!" Shinji shouted, leaping away from her. Letting out a yelp of surprise, he tripped over Pen-Pen in his haste and landed with a crash on his back. "Oww," he groaned, rubbing his head.

"You!" Asuka shrieked, pointing at Rei. Her face was bright red with rage and one of her eyes was twitching. "You hit me with that beer can!"

Rei opened her mouth to say something when there was a loud, insistent knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Misato volunteered, eager to get away. She rushed over to the door of her apartment and flung it open. Asuka's eyes widened when she saw who their unexpected visitor was. Jumping to her feet, Rei forgotten entirely already, she dashed to the doorway. "Kaji!" she squealed in delight, hugging him.

Kaji gently pried Asuka away from him. "Hey, Asuka. Ohayo, Katsuragi!" he said cheerfully.

Misato eyed him suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

He flashed her a wide grin. "What, I can't drop by and say hello?" He attempted to look endearingly pouty. "I'm hurt."

Misato smirked. "Good. I'm glad."

Asuka was now draped possessively over Kaji's arm. "So, what brings you here, Kaji?" she asked in a saccharinely sweet voice.

He grinned. "I wanted to know if you'd like to accompany me to see the cherry blossoms. The invitation extends to everyone, of course," he said with an easygoing smile.

"Oh we'd love to, Kaji!" Asuka gushed. "The cherry blossom festival is my favorite holiday," she added with a sultry wink.

"That's not what you were calling it before," Shinji muttered from his position on the floor.

Asuka whipped her head around to glare at him. "WHAT was that, Third Child?" she demanded threateningly.

"Eep! Nothing," he squeaked, cowering under the intensity of her glare.

She smiled in satisfaction. "That's much better." She turned back to Kaji. "So, when do we leave?"

He smiled over her head at Misato. "I was thinking right now, if you're not busy."

Misato quickly tried to think of an excuse not to go. "I'm sorry, Kaji," she said, attempting to sound apologetic but failing miserably, "but I have to check in with headquarters today - "

Kaji shook his head at her. "No no, Katsuragi," he said smugly. "Can't use the old NERV excuse today! Commander Ikari gave everyone the day off." Misato's face fell.

"My father gave everyone the day off? But he's never that nice!" Shinji blurted out in disbelief, his face turning red instantly as he realized what he'd said.

"It's odd, I have to admit, but hey, who's complaining?" Kaji said with a shrug. "Looks like you're coming with me then!" he finished cheerily.

"Wonderful," Misato grumbled.

"Right now?" Asuka said, her eyebrows pushing up as she made a frown. "But Kaji, I don't have anything to wear! And I want new make-up. Not that I would need it," she mumbled.

Kaji laughed and looked at everyone. "Well I'm sure everyone can agree on buying new clothes for the festival."

Shinji smiled at the idea. He would like new clothes. Anyway, Misato had lost his last good pair of festival clothing somewhere in her room, meaning they were lost forever.

"What! Everyone is coming?" Asuka screamed, glaring at Rei, who still stood silently by the refrigerator. Apparently she had missed Kaji's extended invitation.

"Yup! Now no time to waste! Let's hit the town!" Kaji pulled Misato by her arm as Asuka released him to retrieve her shoes.

"Kaji! No! I don't have shoes!" Misato lied, looking down at her socks.

"Oh well, we'll buy you new ones!" Kaji grinned, grabbing Misato before she twisted out of his grip and throwing her up to catch her in his arms.

"Ahhh!" Misato screamed as she opened the door.

"Come on, you two!" Kaji called to Rei and Shinji. Rei closed the door to the fridge and grabbed her shoes to follow a screaming Misato, laughing Kaji, and scowling, angry Asuka.

Shinji sighed. "This is going to be a long day."