|The NewlyWed Game!
Author: Rinny Angel PM
The character's of FF8 are contestants on 'The NewlyWed Game' when it comes to Balamb. Round 3 is finally up! But it's worth the wait~After round three the winners of the game will be revealed! Please R+R!Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,351 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 03-07-01 - Published: 02-13-01 - id: 208369
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer~ ok, here we go again…I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of it's characters ::sighs:: wish I did but I don't!
Author's Note~ Ok I wasn't gunna write another chapter, but I really set myself up for it by writing those questions at the end of round 3, huh? Ok I hope you guys like the conclusion! J
The Newlywed Game:
Quistis woke up slowly with a throbbing headache. She walked over to the door to her dorm room but when she tried to open it, it was stuck. Quistis banged on the door trying to open it for a few minutes, but to no avail.
"NO WAY!" Shouted a tired voice from the other side of the door. "We are NOT letting you out!"
"What the-What's going on!" A very confused and annoyed Quistis shouted back.
"We know what you wanna do missy!" Selphie retorted "And if we let you out you'll go to your little love bunny and when you snap out of whatever it is they drugged you with you'll KILL us for letting you go!"
"SELPHIE!" Quistis yelled, "What are you talking about! I have to go to the bathroom and I need some Advil!"
Selphie was a little confused so she nudged the sleeping Rinoa next to her to get her in put.
"OoOOooO! I was sleeping!" Rinoa whined groggily.
"SHHH!" Selphie, ummm, 'shhh'ed her.
"What? What's going on?"
"She hasn't mentioned HIM yet."
"Really? She hasn't cried for her 'honey bunny lovey-kins?"
"How bout 'sweety-poo kissy baby'?"
"No! Not even her 'Seify weify' OR her 'gunblade wielding love god!'"
"Are you sure she didn't fall down and bump her head?"
"She DID ask for Advil…"
"Quistis?" Rinoa called tentatively. "Are you ok? Did you bump you head in your struggle for your 'Cootiey oootie manly man'?"
"Cootie oootie? What in (the world) are you talking about?!" Quistis was not much amused that the same people who forced her to go on that stupid game show were holding her hostage in her dorm. Then it occurred to her. "Rinoa…does this have anything to do with what happened on The NewlyWed Game?"
"Well we couldn't let you have at him so we thought it safer if we locked you in your room. The guys are guarding him so he can't get here either."
"Him? Who are you talking about? That stupid show host?" Quistis had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.
Rinoa had to cover her mouth to stifle her giggles so Selphie decided to step in "Quistis? What do you remember about the game show and the past day and a half?"
"You made me go to the studio, Seifer put his arm around me and made some really vulgar answers, I attacked him and then one of the backstage staff members stuck a needle in my arm. I don't really remember much else…I think the Trepies came in at one point but that could've just been a nightmare I was having."
Now it was Selphie's turn to bury her face in her pillow and laugh. Composing herself a little Rinoa began to question their poor oblivious friend "Do you remember anything else at all? Anything about Seifer?"
"No…did he carry me into my room or something?"
"Well…yes…" Rinoa couldn't contain her laughter.
"What's so funny? Let me out of here!"
Not seeing any threat of her dashing off to see Seifer, Selphie and Rinoa decided to let her out of her room. Quistis stepped out and looked at her two friends suspiciously. Quistis perfect hair was tangled and sticking out in every direction, her clothes were a mess and she was missing her arm-sleeves. While Quistis marched off to the bathroom and infirmary, Rinoa and Selphie began cleaning up the little campsite they had set up in front of her door.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE, PUBERTY BOY!" Seifer screamed threateningly "SHE WANTS ME, DAMN YOU!"
Squall looked over at Irvine desperately as both men leaned against the door with their backs "When is this stupid drug going to wear off?!"
"I talked to the guy who drugged 'em and it should've worn off by now!"
"I'M GIVIN' YOU JOKERS 3 SECONDS TO OPEN THIS DOOR!" Seifer was beginning to sound more and more desperate.
Squall stepped away from the door and started to pace in circles in the hall with his hand on his forehead. "I can't believe he's kept this up for 48 hours!" Suddenly the banging on the door stopped and Seifer's shouts were silent. Irvine backed away from the door to stand next to Squall.
"Do you suppose he rammed his head into the door too hard and knocked himself out?" Squall tried not to laugh, but still had to smile at Irvine's remark.
"Nah…we aren't that lucky." Squall replied. As if on cue, Seifer's gunblade came ramming through the door.
"Can you for ONCE in your life be WRONG, Squall?!" Irvine cried, extremely frightened by the weapon hanging out the door (well, he was more scared of the maniac who was wielding it).
Squall instantly drew his gunblade and stood clear of the door. "Seifer, are you INSANE!"
"MAYBE!!" he shouted back as he continued to hack through the wood door. "I'm crazy for my Quisty!"
Irvine shook his head "Are you sure she's still under the influence of the aphrodisiac?"
"What aphrodisiac?" Seifer questioned as he continued to cut his way to freedom.
"The one you two were given at the game show?"
"Oh that? That wore off hours ago! What does that have to do with anything?"
Squall stood with his jaw dropped, and Irvine had a mischievous grin on his face. "So." Squall began "That drug you two were given wore off hours ago?"
"So both of you are back to normal…well, Quistis should be normal anyway, right?"
"What are you getting at?" Seifer now had his head sticking out of the hole he made in the door and was staring at his rival.
"Back away from the door Seifer." Squall went over to the door and unlocked it.
"WOO HOO!" Seifer shouted gaily as he skipped out of the room and headed for Quistis' dorm. Irvine looked at Squall with wide eyes.
"What in the name of Hyne did you go and do that for?!"
"Think about it, Irvine, Quistis hates Seifer with a passion…consequently Seifer loves her with one. He put some serious moves on her, and if I know Selphie and Rinoa they're showing her the tape of the show. So, I could fight Seifer and beat him, but wouldn't it be much more fun to watch Quistis do it for us?"
"I like the way you think commander!" Irvine slapped Squall on the back and the two husbands took the short cut to Quistis' dorm.
Back to the girls…
Selphie and Rinoa did in fact charge up the VCR and pop in the video of the show. Quistis had a bag of ice resting on her head as she sprawled out on the bed in her room.
"Ok! I fixed it!" Rinoa cried triumphantly as she swung a screwdriver in the air victoriously "And Squall said it couldn't be done."
Quistis Sat up attentively and made sure she had a good view of the TV (while Rinoa was fixing the VCR, Selphie began to fill Quistis in on the fact that Seifer and her were involved in some 'risqué' incidents). Soon the intro music to The NewlyWed Game filled the room and the girls began to munch on popcorn.
After finishing up watching round 2, Quistis was in a steadily growing rage (lucky for her two friends which were sitting dangerously close to her, it was directed at Seifer).
"And I thought the Trepie fiasco was a NIGHTMARE!" Quistis fumed. "At least the worst much be over!" Selphie and Rinoa giggled. Rinoa decided that that set up was too good to pass up, and so she fast-forwarded through the last set of commercials. Quistis' eyes grew wide with each passing minute, and they were filling up with anger and blood lust. Squall and Irvine arrived just as the 'Gauntlet of Love' was starting. Both shivered with disgust upon seeing themselves running like rats in the maze. Soon, the men saw the look in Quistis' eyes (it's the kind of look that could make a grown man cry like a baby) and they decided it would be safer to wait until the show was finished to tell her that Seifer was coming.
As the credits rolled Quistis slowly stood up and glared at the television "So, I won."
"Um…yes?" Selphie replied confusedly.
"Where's my 'husband'?"
Squall tentatively stepped forward "Actually-"
Seifer, who seems to have the 'best' timing ever, walked into the room and cut off Squall "Quistis, kitten! You lovers here!"
Quistis smiled sweetly and wasted no time in greeting Seifer. She punched him hard and fast right on his puckered lips. Squall caught the reeling Seifer, patted him twice on the head and shoved him back into Quistis. Irvine managed to inch over to Selphie (who wasn't sure whether to be amused or fearing for her life). Squall walked past Quistis and Seifer as the angry instructor gripped tightly onto his coat collar and slammed him into the wall.
"Oh yea, this is much better." Squall stated proudly to Irvine, he nodded affirmatively in response. The four SeeDs had their eyes fixed on the sight of Quistis kicking Seifer's butt while he tried to convince her (and himself) that she really loved him and her anger was just PMS. Squall spotted the full bowl of popcorn on the floor and picked it up. It was like watching a movie. Irvine, Selphie, Squall, and Rinoa all snacked on popcorn, and their gaze was set upon the 'fight scene' in front of them.
"Oh Seifer, WHEN will you learn?" Quistis questioned as she bounced his head against the wall.
"AHH! That's gunna leave a mark…" Seifer retorted. Quistis let go of Seifer and turned her back to him and went rummaging through her nightstand drawer. Seifer took this opportunity to straighten out his clothes. "What are you looking for?" He asked in a shaky voice.
"Oh nothing." Quistis answered with frightening cheerfulness. *Snap* The sound of Quistis' whip cracked the air as she spun around with a devilish grin on her lips.
"Yipes!" Seifer squeaked as he ran out of the room in a hurry.
"Oh you can run, Almasy, but you can't hide!" Quistis shouted as she ran out after him. The sound of two pairs of footsteps resounded down the hall. "Maybe I should call the TREPIES in for help, huh?" the distant voice of Quistis threatened.
"Two steps ahead of ya…" Selphie mumbled as she began to dial a number on Quistis' dorm room phone. "Wait a sec! Squall, you're commander right?" She was answered with a 'duh' look from the commander "So you have the keys to the 3rd floor right?" once again, she was answered with a 'duh' look. "Come on!" Selphie chirped as she jogged out of the room, the three SeeDs followed suit.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Quistis sang as she trudged slowly through the training center "I know you're in here!"
Seifer whimpered quietly as hid behind a fallen log "…it's a dream…it's only a dream…come on Seifer, wake up!…" he chanted to himself. Suddenly the 'bing' of the intercom broke the air and all the students and faculty waited for the unexpected announcement.
"Is it on now?…" Selphie's voice whispered to someone in the room (she was, once more, answered with a 'duh' look). "Hello everyone! I am especially addressing the Trepies, Quistis admirers, and the Against-Almasy Association…what?…yes I know that's mostly Trepies now…just let me do my announcement! Anyway, I'm sure most of you witnessed the accursed NewlyWed Game we were brutally FORCED to participate in. Now, our beloved instructor Ms. Quistis Trepe, who IS NOT MARRIED, is currently seeking revenge on Mr. Almasy. I'm sure your help would mean a great deal to Quistis…According to recent tip, they should both be in the training center now! Ok, have fun! BUBYE!" the intercom 'binged' off and Seifer slapped his forehead.
"Ouch!" he grumbled "I am SO going to kill those morons!" The sound of a stampede of feet soon interrupted his thoughts and he bolted to the door of the sector in the hope he might be able to escape…he was wrong.
The next few…hours…are a bit too violent to share with you right now so I'll leave it to your imaginations to figure out what happened.
6 or 7 hours later…
A very happy looking Quistis walked beside Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, and Selphie down to the elevator.
"Do you think we went just a little over board with this Seifer thing?"
"NO!" Quistis and Squall replied in unison. Upon reaching the 1st floor they had to weave their way through a throng of people, who were for the most part were wielding cameras. The five SeeDs hoped in their rented car and headed over to Balamb Restaurant to celebrate the achievements of the day.
Back at the throng of people the shouts of one man in particular were loud and clear. "THIS IS NOT FUNNY! YA HEAR ME?! NOT FUNNY AT ALL! LET ME DOWN YOU BUNCH OF GAWKING FREAKS!" Seifer was suspended from the large SeeD symbol in the front hall of Garden. As if that wasn't enough, he was wearing a bright Barbie pink tutu with the words 'I am a Chicken-wuss' painted onto it, this idea was suggest by the founder and president of the Against-Almasy Association.
Eventually Raijin and Fuijin beat off the crowd and got the leader of their posse down. Quistis and Seifer supposedly made amends a few days later and were often spotted heading off to the training center late at night. When Seifer went to run for president of Galbadia 8 years later, some 'interesting' photos surfaced and he was forced to drop out of the race in order to preserve good PR. Zell won the election.
And tha my friends is the actual end of this strange and twisted story!
My Explanation and Apology~ It's late, I'm tired, it seemed funny at the time! Lol! Sorry J