Mel: Figaro, you know what?

Figaro: No and I don’t want to know.

Mel: This is the…laaaaast chaaaapteeerrrr!!!!!!!!Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

Figaro: Do I care?

Mel: But Figgy, this means that you won’t be in here for much longer!

Figaro: you mean…you’re sacking me as plot kitty?

Mel: Hmmm…maybe…

Find out after the last bloody chapter…

---

The guy at the stall was wearing black when a squish-ed Fratley came into The Nearest Gas Station.

He looked round and saw a group of people mourning over three graves.

“Who died?” Fratley asked anxiously at the ferocious man.

“Atomic Kitten. Don’t tell anyone but I shot them. After all, it is Wednesday.” He replied.

“Oh well, they were crap,” Fratley said, and got a wallop from a serious AK fan. “Anyway,” he continued, rubbing his new black eye, “I need to be pumped up,”

The man looked Fratley up and down.

“Ok, just stick this hose in your mouth.” He said.

---

Meanwhile, Zidane and co. had come up to the gates of the bad guy’s lair and rang the doorbell. A voice wailed out. “Come in,” it moaned.

“Oooh…creepy,” Eiko said, laughing at Steiner who was shaking in his boots.

“M…m…maybe we should go home…” he stammered.

“And not rescue Freya? Are you out of your mind, oglop brain?” Zidane yelled. He pushed open the door and a thousand bats came out, attacking Garnet who screamed loudly as they swarmed about her face.

“Get them out!!!” Garnet yelled. Vivi used Firaga but ended up catching Garnet’s hair alight as well, and Vivi had to sheepishly use Water before Garnet went bald.

The rest went in. “Wow,” Figgy sneered, “looks like my kind of place.”

A man came out of the shadows, making Zidane hide behind a pillar once more, but it was only Bleeding Jacky-boy.

“What do you want?” he wailed, blowing his red nose on a giant hanky.

“Where’s Freya???” Zidane yelled, pulling Bleeding Jack up by the collar.

“Freya? I have no use for her. She escaped.” He replied.

“You mean Freya’s already out there, looking for us?” Amarant moaned. “Oh great THANKS A LOT FREYA!!”

“You’re welcome,” Freya laughed from the front door.

---

“Only twenty miles to Burmecia,” Fratley gasped. “Gotta speed up…pant pant pant pant”

He was stumbling across Gizamaluke’s Grotto. Obvious signs of very disturbing battles were all over his clothes. Burns, scratches, poisons, you name it, it was there.

“Oh crap.” He fell to the ground.

---

“FREYA!” Eiko screamed and she ran towards Freya. Amarant ran too but stopped before giving Freya a hug as everyone else was watching and it would seem too embarrassing.

“Where have you been?” Vivi squeaked.

“I found Quina, AND Fratley. Dunno where he is right now, but Quina’s at the front gate, munching on mushrooms. If it gets indigestion, then it’s not coming running to me.”

Bleeding Jack watched the scene and smiled evilly.

“What you people don’t know,” he laughed. “Is that I have just nicked all of your precious items such as the jewels and the CAT!”

Figgy yowled and spat at Bleeding Jack.

“You bastard!” he mewed.

“Yeah, you can call me all you like, but I’m going to sell this cat for millions!!” Bleeding Jack laughed and he disappeared.

“Come on, guys!” Zidane cried. “We have to rescue Figaro!”

No one really wanted to, but they had to anyway.

---

“Oh my gosh” a lady said as she leant down towards a nearly dead Fratley. “She needs help.”

“I am not a she!!!” Fratley yelled suddenly.

“Oh my, I’m sorry,” the lady gasped. “It’s just your hair looks so girlish.”

“If you want girly try looking at Kuja!” Fratley sniffed, getting up.

The lady took Fratley to her lair which, coincidentally, was near BJ’s evil lair.

---

The gang ran towards the room where BJ was. He was holding Figgy over a huge lick of lava, and Figaro was pleading for his life.

“Purlease! You have to save me!” Figgy cried.

Suddenly BJ looked at Figaro. He had changed, as Figgy’s eyes were bigger, and cuter. He had a pleading look on his face.

“Aw!!!!! Eiko cooed. “He is soooo cute!!”

“Oh hell,” BJ said, wiping a tear from his eye. “I will let you go”

BAD MISTAKE.

Figgy lost all cuteness as he scratched at BJ’s face, making him howl with pain. They fought until Figaro was in a bad position over the lava, and BJ was laughing evilly when someone pushed him over and Bleeding Jack fell to his death.

The gang turned to face who had pushed BJ.

“Wolfsbane?” they echoed.

“Yes!” Wolfsbane smiled triumphantly. “I won my case thanks to Sue Law.”

“SUE LAW?” Eiko laughed. A slender young woman came out of the shadows and Zidane and Amarant’s jaws hit the ground.

“Actually, that’s her niece, Sylvia. No, here’s Sue.” Wolfsbane laughed. Another slender woman came but only Zidane’s jaw hit the floor this time because it was his job.

“She was my lawyer. We beat Bill Law, her brother, who was in fact the evil lawyer!”

“Jude Law is my uncle.” Sue smiled at the gang. She looked at Wolfsbane. “We had better be going dear. Sylvia, darling…Sylvia? Put that man down!” she said as everyone turned to see Sylvia kissing Amarant.

“EW!!!!!!!!” everyone yelled in unison. Amarant blushed as Freya burst out laughing.

“Did someone call?” Fratley said as he walked over to the group. Freya stopped laughing.

“Damn why did you follow me?” she hissed.

“Because I was bored.” Fratley sulked, folding his arms and pouting his bottom lip.

“Now who’s the baby!” Eiko shrieked.

“Come on guys,” Zidane said, hugging Vivi and Garnet. “Let’s get out of here before we all suffocate on poisonous carbon monoxide!”

Everyone laughed good heartily, but started coughing so they left harshly.

---

“So?” Freya smiled at Amarant as he waved goodbye to Sylvia.

“So what?” Amarant replied. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Freya replied. “Is Sylvie-Wylvie your girlfriend now?”

Amarant blushed, “Weeelll…yes.”

Freya laughed as she and Fratley and Amarant walked off, being stalked by Figgy.

“Hey,” Freya said suddenly. “Do I smell something? It smells like…cheese.”

She wandered off into the alcove and everyone heard a punch.

“Oh no!”

“Here we go again,” everyone moaned. But then Freya walked out, satisfied with her feast after punching the bad guy on the nose.

“They had it coming.” She laughed, and like a terrible cliché, everyone laughed too, whether they liked it or not.

THE END

---

Mel: I can’t believe that was really the end. What did you like about it Figgy?

Figgy: It was very…cheesy.

Mel: Oh and I have decided whether to take you in again as a plot kitty. The answer is yes.

Figgy: YES! YAHOOOOOOO!!!

Mel: Thankyou all reviewers

Figgy: And all reviewers to come (we hope)

Mel: And all those non-reviewers who like it and even those who think this was a piece of crap.

Figgy: When will I see yooou agaaaainn?

Mel: When I can be bothered to do another fic, probably…