Author: cmartist PM
Not quite the senshi fic cause it's not fanfic enough. It's a semi-fanfic. It's a quasi-fanfic. It's the margarine of fanfic. It's the diet coke of fanfic. Just one calorie. Not fanfic enough. A one shot which should never happen :pRated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Adventure - Words: 4,108 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10-12-04 - Status: Complete - id: 2092034
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Senshi – A Different Story
Teen Titans and Sailor Moon belong to their respective creators. I don't own them, nor do I think I'll ever own them. I can always dream, though.
Me: Alright. The artist is here. I've been reading through my Senshi fanfic and have come to this conclusion: I'm in a writer's block for the story. So in light of this I have christened this particular incarnation "Mini-fic".
Raven: What?! You've already twisted my life enough as it is. I used to be just one of the Teen Titans, but noooo, you just HAD to bring me into another fic...with SAILOR MOON in it! Don't you know what she is? She has a (shudder) cheerful disposition, she's a ditz, AND a crybaby! I get enough of that from Starfire! (well, except the crybaby part).
Me: Aww, c'mon. Don't you like all the little idiotic quips, quotable quotes, and joke wannabees I'm going to put in this story, Raven? It's gonna be fun.
Raven: No. I don't do "fun." Not when it's your definition of it. It's pointless, a waste of my time and a distraction to my concentration. Why don't you keep all those ideas in your main fanfic? The one you've got writer's block on? You've already proved you'll do just about anything in THAT one.
Me: Well…actually I'm too lazy to incorporate these things into a REAL fanfic.
Raven: Oh, so this isn't a REAL fanfic then?
Me: You bet it's not. Cause it won't be fanfic enough. It's a semi-fanfic, it's a quasi-fanfic, it's the margarine of fanfic, it's the diet coke of fanfic, just one calorie, not fanfic enough. Get it?
Raven: Riiiiight. I'm soooo impressed.
Me: Muwahahaha! I knew you would be. And you know what that means.
Raven: That you're a raving lunatic bent on world conquest and this is just an outlet for your frustrations at having failed to conquer the world countless times?
Me: Yes, actually. I….Hey!
Sailor Moon: Yeah. Hey! Don't say that about him. He's putting me in the story so lay off. I'm princess of the Moon, you know!
Raven: So? Pfft. I'm the daughter of a demon lord, so I'm not really impressed. Although I WAS wondering when you'd show your air-head over here.
Me: Ahem! As I was saying…
Sailor Moon: Oh yeah? Bring it on, goth girl.
Raven: Oooooh, I'm so scared "meat-ball head".
Sailor Moon. Oooooooh! No one calls me that! (well, except mamo-chan, but he's not here so...)
Sailor Moon: SHUT UP!
Raven: SHUT UP!
Me: Whimper…..No one listens to me anymore.
What's in a name?
I sat down at my usual spot at the club; the soft music pleasantly depressing. It was open mike night however, and the one on stage was blurting out words regardling useless things such as love, affection, and whatnot. Things like those simply did not exist for me so I had no need to be reminded of them. Crime was at an all-time low…for us anyway. The usual super-villains were behind bars, Slade was laying low, and only small time thugs still roamed the streets; easy enough for the police force to handle. I take a sip of my tea as I try to tune out the horrible person on stage at the moment.
She goes on about past lives, loves, friendship, and fate; things which I love to hate. I have enough of those with my own life. Her long blonde hair is done up in a twin meat-ball style; I'd almost think it was a Chinese hair style but they really do look like meat balls. I giggle slightly at the image; my mug cracking in the process (mental note: do not let Happy out too often). I sigh as I look at the now damaged mug, cursing the powers that be for my predicament. The one on the stage continues; her gaze falling on me for quite some time. 'What? Is there something on my cloak?' I wonder. Finding nothing there, I look back and she's still staring at me. 'This feels akwards,' I tell myself. Paying for the tea and the broken mug, I leave the club and the strange girl on stage.
Usagi takes a bow after her act, her target having already left the club. Not surprisingly, no one claps for her performance, causing her to pout as she walks off stage. It would have been a graceful exit had her foot not caught on a power cord, causing her to trip and fall flat on her face.
Hey, meat-ball head. Where are you already!? shouts a voice in Usagi's ear.
"Rei, do you have to shout so loud? I'm wearing the earphones, you know." Usagi whispers as she crawls off stage with what little pride she had left, a bruise forming on her forehead. After making her way out the back door, she takes out her compact, a face appearing on where the mirror would normally be. "So what's wrong" she asks.
I've been screaming my head off trying to contact you but you weren't answering!
"Ehehehe…I was distracted?"
You're always distracted!
"Waaaah! Rei's so mean!!!" she cries.
The person on the other end simply sighs in defeat. Look, Usagi. There's a youma (1) a few blocks away from where you are. We can't get an accurate fix on it. You have to stop it before it gets away.
"But Reeeeeiiiii! Luna said there shouldn't be any more youma in the world. When we defeated Beryl (2) all the youma should have been wiped out as well."
The argument would have degraded to their banter but a scream in the distance shook them out of their banter. Usagi shut off her communicator and rushed towards the source of the scream.
"Moon Crystal Power, Make Up!"
I was not in a good mood. Not only did I NOT get to listen to anything interesting at the club 'Stupid blonde version of Starfire' but I wasn't even able to have a decent cup of tea. And now Robin calls telling me Plasmus just escaped from jail again and is causing havoc on Main Street.
"This just isn't my night."
I fly over to where Plasmus was last spotted and see the rest of my team fighting him to a standstill. Cyborg's sonic cannon punches a hole in Plasmus chest but it barely slows him down; the hole already sealing itself. Robin tosses several explosive bird-a-rangs to try to shock Plasmus back to his human form but all they do is knock him back a few feet. Looks like its time for some 'heavy duty' firepower.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" I feel the dark power flowing through me as I lift an empty bus and drop it directly on top of Plasmus. I land right beside Starfire as we both wait to see if he's down for the count. No such luck apparently as we see blobs of goo race out from under the bus and reform into his usual form.
"Stay down!" Starfire yells. Starbolts fly from her hands in an almost machine-gun like fashion, pummeling the meta-human. He soon learns from his encounter as he opens a hole in his body, letting the Starbolts pass harmlessly through him. Starfire looks in shock as her attack is no longer effective against Plasmus. Seeing her distracted, a tentacle forms from his body and whips towards Starfire, wrapping her in the disgusting ooze.
"EEEeeep! Robin! Help, please." she yells.
As we approach Plasmus, he suddenly splits up into 5 parts, each looking weirder than the other. 'Well, that's new I suppose. At least he's never boring.´ We each take on one of the parts while the one holding Starfire simply stays back.
"Robin, he's acting a little bit too intelligent." I warn our leader.
"I know. Slade must be behind this."
Oh for crying out loud, Robin, again with Slade. I want to tell him that I'm sick and tired of hearing him rant but seeing as our team mate is currently held hostage I bite back my retort and simply nod. I try tossing some trash bins at my own opponent but as they near it, the fifth piece places Starfire directly in the path of my projectiles. My eyes widen in shock as I stop the objects from hitting Starfire; a few inches more and they would have crushed her face. I grit my teeth in frustration; this was definitely too intelligent for Plasmus to have thought up. Something or someone else must be behind this. I try to think of another way to attack Plasmus when I hear someone shout behind me.
"Moon Tiara Action!"
A glowing disc severs Starfire from the piece which was holding her; the disc returning to its owner. All of us turn towards the sound of the voice and none are more surprised than I to see a young girl, probably our age, dressed in a female version of a sailor's uniform. Her knee high boots and almost nonexistent skirt though show its not your average sailor uniform. 'More like a dirty old man's wet dream if you ask me.' The golden disc turns into a tiara which she places back on her forehead. She points towards Plasmus and starts ranting like some heroine in a cartoon.
"Hold it, youma…errr…blob, thing! Night time is for dinner, dates and sleeping. I won't allow you to ruin everyone's evening with your rampage." She starts moving her arms in several poses as she continues her speech. "I am the Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon, and in the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
A snicker makes its way out of my mouth. 'Happy' is laughing her head off and it's taking all of my willpower to keep 'her' contained. All the other Titans are struggling with their own laughter; except Starfire that is. She's got that 'Ooooh, I'm impressed, is this another earth custom' look in her eyes. Even all of Plasmus' parts stopped attacking us. Then we heard it.
"Heh heh heh…." A deep rumbling voice was chuckling. Looking towards the source, we found it to be Plasmus; I didn't even know he COULD laugh.
Ok, that was freaky. Plasmus had reformed into one body and was currently rolling on the ground laughing his head off. The girl who had just arrived didn't look too happy, though. Her eyes were watering and looked like she was about to cry and her hands were trembling like crazy. The only thing that made me know she wasn't crying was the fact that her hands were clenched fists and I could almost see a vein throbbing on her forehead.
"Funny, am I?" she growls. Raising her hand, a scepter appears in it as she waves it around in a weird pattern. "MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!" she yells as a bright beam of light shoots out of the scepter and towards Plasmus, blinding all of us.
As our vision clears, I see the human form of Plasmus now peacefully sleeping on the street; 'Sailor Moon' standing triumphantly on the side with her fingers in a V symbol. I was fairly impressed for her to be able to defeat Plasmus with one shot. My respect for her went up SLIGHTLY (her stupid speech is still making 'Happy' roll around in my head) but took a nose dive when she trips on her own feet and falls with a resounding splat on top of some of Plasmus remaining goo.
"Eeeeeyyyyyuuuuuck! I just washed my hair! Bleah! That tastes awful! Waaaah! It's all slimey!" she cries, as she comically tries to get rid of the disgusting goo. I actually sympathize with her for once. I have as much desire to 'taste' Plasmus as I do to taste Starfire's 'Pudding of Gladness.'
"I like her already," comments Beastboy.
Sailor Moon's antics soon stop as she makes eye contact with me. She seems familiar but something keeps me from recognizing her. 'A glamour spell. Impressive.´ I think. I didn't think I'd see such a powerful one in this day and age. She walks towards me with a sudden aura of authority which she didn't have before, stopping when she was within arms reach.
"Hi, I'm Sailor Moon. Can we talk for a minute?"
Her smile is most disarming. My team mates look confused since they have no idea what her purpose is. "I don't think so," I tell her in my usual monotone voice. I turn away but she grabs my cloak and uses the most fearful thing in the universe....The Puppy Dog Eyes Stare ™.
I suppress a twitch as I try to remain standing. If her expression got any sweeter I'd be getting diabetes. Although on the plus side, 'Anger' seemed to abhor her presence and it seemed to be easier to contain it the longer I stayed around this Sailor Moon. Maybe humoring her wouldn't be too bad. I give a nod to Robin who returns it reluctantly. I know he trusts my judgment but here was a girl who probably had enough power to take us all down easily.
She motions for me to follow her, walking just out of earshot of my other team mates. Finally stopping almost a block away, she turns around and faces me, a serious expression on her face. Sailor Moon then asks me something which would change my life forever.
"Want to be a Sailor Senshi?"
I stare at her incredulously. Did she just ask me to join up with her? I raise an eyebrow, not quite believing what she just asked.
"Wait, I wrote down a speech I was supposed to give you," she states, her aura of authority vanishing suddenly, as she whips out a notebook (god knows where she hid the thing) and starts flipping through the pages.
"Hmm....'Four score and seven years ago...' Nope. '2 cups flour, 1 cup sugar...' Nope. 'The sweat glistened off his chisled frame…'" She hides the notebook again, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Errr...forget that...Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is I want you to join us as a Soldier of Love and Justice!" she says as she strikes a pose. "Well, more specifically I need you to become Sailor Saturn.
I look at her incredulously. "You've got to be kidding. What makes you think I even want to become Sailor Saturn?" I tell her emotionlessly.
"Nope, I'm not kidding, and as much you deny it, you actually already are." she states simply.
"And why is that?"
"Well, I could give you the whole speech about past lives, reincarnation, and all that but the glowing symbol on your forehead is more than enough proof." she points out, whipping out a mirror (again, where she got it, I don't even want to know).
I grab the mirror from her and slowly look at myself. 'Hmm. Skin, still pale. Eyes, still two (whew), gem on my chakra, still there, glowing symbol of Saturn right above it, check....?!' I rub the mirror to make sure she didn't put any tricks on it but sure enough, the symbol remains on my forehead. I scowl at her. She'd better not have been the cause of this.
"Hey, I didn't do it," she replies defensively. "Heck, I didn't even expect your Saturn power to manifest unless you were under great stress. "But hey, now that's great. Now I can officially make you Sailor Saturn!"
I rub my forehead in frustration. What was it going to take to get this girl to stop pestering me. Sure this 'Saturn' symbol was now glowing like mad but that didn't mean I had to like it. "Look, I'm 'flattered' and all that you want me to be part of your team but I already have my own team, the Teen Titans."
"So? The more the merrier." 'Good grief she's hard to discourage.'
"Look, from what you've told me, you're team is one which fights for love and justice. Do I look like I'm for love and justice?" I state empathically, as I wave my cloak around. "I'm a goth girl with issues. Lot's of issues."
"I'm basically a blond ditz, Mars is a big meanie, Mercury is a book worm, Venus is boy-crazy, and Jupiter's tomboyish. A goth girl would be a great addition." She's really laying it on thick now. I can feel 'Anger' hiding away. Even 'Happy' seems to be getting dizzy. I sigh and give her one of my patented Glare's of Doom™ but even that fails when she once again uses the dreaded 'eyes.'
"Pleeeeeeaaaaase?" 'Ok, that's getting irritating now.'
"All right, all right. If you'll just shut it off..." I moan in defeat. Thankfully, she does shut of the 'eyes' but a look of confusion makes its way to her face.
"Shut what off?" she asks.
"Never mind. So what exactly does this job entail?" I ask. I might as well find out as much as I can about what I'm getting into.
"Well, like I said you're going to be a Soldier of Love and Justice™ we basically fight evil in any form. In order to do so, you're going to need a few items."
She reaches behind her 'Does she actually have pockets in that thing?' and pulls out a stylized pen and a small (shudder) pink calculator. "The pen is your transformation stick. All your powers of Saturn can be accessed by using that stick. Just say the magic words and you'll transform to Sailor Saturn!" she gleefully explains.
"You've got to be kidding me. A transformation pen?" I eye it warily then my eyes widen in shock as the words for the transformation suddenly pop in my mind. "You...have...got...to be...kidding...me..." I drone out.
"I take it from your expression you remembered the magic words?" she asks. "Well, its usually the case when people first get a hold of the pens. Something about unlocking past memories and stuff." I nod slightly in understanding, not quite comfortable with the idea but just eager to get her to leave. "The calculator is your communicator. We'll be contacting you from time to time whenever we need any help with the latest youma...demon....thingies."
I flinch slightly at the 'demon' word. She has no idea what she's getting (or is that, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into?). Then my mind actually catches up to what she just said. "Calling me from time to time?"
"Sure. I mean, you ARE the Soldier of Destruction, the most powerful one in the group. If we need any help, we'll be sure to call you."
"Destruction?! And you were going to tell me this..." I stop as I notice her staring behind me. I look as well and see my team mates are inching their way closer, apparently curious as to what exactly we were talking about.
"Well, looks like we're going to be intruppted soon. Don't worry about it so much. Thinks will work out in the end." she states, that same aura of authority suddenly making its presence felt again. "Well, gotta go. I hope to see you again 'Sailor Saturn'" she says with a playful smile on her face. "I'll be in the city for a few more days so think about my offer first."
I wave mechanically as she turns to walk away. 'I am sooo throwing this stuff away.' I think to myself.
"Oooh, before I forget," she adds. "The transformation pen is magically bonded to you through your past self. If ever you lose it, you can just mentally call it and it will appear in your hands." With that, she jumps towards the top of one of the low buildings and into the night, leaving me with a purple pen (not a bad color though), and a 'pink' calculator. Robin and the others finally approached me after they noticed she was now gone.
"So what did she want?" asked Robin.
"Yes. What did the girl with the most curious of hair styles want with you, friend Raven?"
"Nothing. She was just asking me some stuff about magic." 'It's partially true. This whole Soldier of Love and Justice is definitely magical anyway.'
"Oh, and that's all? You didn't get me her phone number?" wails Beastboy.
I fly off back to the tower, leaving the rest of the team to return on their own. I do notice them glaring at Beastboy as I leave.
"What? She was cute." I hear him say.
As I retire to my room, I place the pen and calculator on my night stand, staring at it as I contemplated what I would actually do with this. My eyelids grow heavy though, as the days events were quite tiring and this new development didn't exactly give me a chance to meditate. 'Things couldn't possibly be any worse than they are now. I'll meditate on this tomorrow,' I think as sleep finally hits.
(To be continued)
Sailor Moon: Yay! You got 1 chapter out!
Raven: Hurah....not! I will kill you in your sleep, you know?
Me: Awww, c'mon. It wasn't that bad. I mean, Sailor Moon's happy, you're now part of the Senshi, and I've got my inspiration back.
Raven: I'm NOT part of the Senshi. If you read your own fic, you'd see I was going to think about it. And I'm not joining.
Me: Oh, we'll see about that. Muwehehehe.
Sailor Moon: (clapping) Yay! A new Senshi! But before you start writing again, there's one thing I have to clarify. Didn't Raven just say you were a "raving lunatic bent on world conquest and this is just an outlet for your frustrations at having failed to conquer the world countless times?"
Me: Yeah, I mean....No...Uhhh....Oops?
Sailor Moon: You may be a fanfic writer, but I can't allow people to conquer the world! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!! MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!
Raven: Now this is entertainment. Where's popcorn when I need it?
Hope you enjoyed this little pointless fic. I needed a break from my usual writing. That, and City of Heroes is getting addictive. (Who knew there were so many ways to make a hero?)
Anyway, everyone have a great week. I'm off to try to save the world using 'Raven Roth' (find me on Freedom server if anyone plays.)