Chapter 16

Something funny before I finish.

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James yawned loudly and turned over in bed, his arm hitting another human's as he did so. Meredith? What was Meredith doing here? Oh, yes, now he remembered. They had been married yesterday. He kissed her, smiling as she slept on, mindless of his kiss.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked sleepily as he opened the door to go downstairs and start the fire so he could brew a strong pot of coffee and recover his wits. Garishly nasty stuff, coffee, but it woke you up like a shot. "It's your honeymoon, James. You're supposed to be enjoying yourself, and I recall doing precious little of that last night." She added cattily, sitting up in bed, fidgeting with her chemise underneath the sheets.

James turned back to his bed, raising an eyebrow innocently. "Whatever do you mean, Meredith? I slept beautifully and enjoyed that."

"I was speaking of other enjoyments you might have pursued, mon capitaine…" Meredith purred, crooking a finger at him. "Come back to bed."

"Gladly, my pirate queen." James said with a smile. His sleep recovered, his senses could wake up much faster with Meredith than any number of cups of coffee. He drew his robe off his shoulders and tossed it over a chair back, climbing over his side of the bed and underneath the sheets to fix her hips under his own. "It is not too early to be asserting my marital rights, I should hope?" He asked rhetorically, pulling Meredith's chemise above her hips just a little farther than what she had already done herself.

"If I had thought that, James, I would not have invited you back to bed." Meredith murmured, her hands holding James' nightshirt. He was just beginning to pillow down inside of her when there was a loud flurry of knocks at the front door.

"Hell and damnation, what is it?" James shouted in consternation, mindless of his language, getting out of bed and yanking his robe back on and going out on the landing just in time to see a dozen marines beat open his front door and invade his front hall. "What is the meaning of this?" he shouted, watching still more marines start poking through his downstairs. Commodore Garrett, perfectly uniformed and bewigged, strode through the wrecked entranceway and tipped his hat to Norrington, who was now acutely aware he was in a robe and hadn't had the opportunity to shave yet this morning.

"Commodore, what is the explanation for this?" James inquired sharply, wincing at the sound of clanging pots and pans from the kitchen.

"I've just been informed that there is a dangerous criminal hiding in your house, Mr. Norrington. A pirate by the name of Lords. Apparently, she has been here in Port Royal for several weeks under an assumed name." Garrett said mirthlessly, beckoning for the Marines to search upstairs just as Meredith came out on the landing, her own dressing robe tied tight around her waist.

"What's happened? Has someone been robbed?" she asked, looking around at the marines.

"That's the woman, men! Seize her!" Garrett pointed to the landing.

"Belay that order! Commodore, I demand to see your warrant." James asked. Garrett sighed and came upstairs, handing over the parchment, heavy with it's wax seal and signatures. James looked it over, notary-like, and handed it back. "You agree that it is in order, then, Mister Norrington?" Garrett asked testily, punching at the point that James no longer had any political power to heft here.

"Well, I can't argue with its veracity, but, ah, I am afraid you have the wrong woman." James said coolly with the slightest of smiles.

"Wrong woman? Her likeness has been sent to every outpost in the Caribbean! I should think, sir, that I would know my own criminal!" Garrett blustered indignantly.

"Oh, indeed, Commodore, I do not doubt your authority on these matters, but I believe you are mistaken in this one instance." He crooked a finger at the nearest marine, who stepped forward grudgingly. "Downstairs there will be a large pile of packages. There was a wooden chest nearest to the top. Pray bring it to me." James asked with a smile. The private glanced at his commander, who flung his hand in an offhand, annoyed manner as if to shoo him away.

Moments later, the soldier came back, box in hand. James nodded, taking it from him and opening it to present a piece of parchment to Garrett. "A full pardon for the lady in question." James said seriously.

Garrett looked at the paper and frowned. "But this is a marriage certificate." He looked up at James, who smiled.

"I think you will find, however, that your warrant is still in error. This is Meredith Norrington. Commodore Garrett, I would like you to meet my new wife."

The new commodore stood in the foyer, seething and unsure of what rout to take next. "Be that as it may, sir, she is still wanted for crimes against the crown!" Garrett nearly shouted, his face turning red.

"Legally, however, her name has changed. Your warrant does nothing here. And lest you forget, Commodore, my name still carries more sway in high places than yours does." James added with a condescending smirk. "If you do not mind, you are interrupting my honeymoon, and, I might add, upsetting my wife. Good day, gentlemen- the door is that way."

Garrett fumed, stomping down the stairs and ordering the marines out after him. The last one closed the door with a bit of a snap, leaving the house ruffled, but quiet once more.

Meredith looked at the door and the now empty house, and turned back to James. "That was terribly clever of you, James. But like you told Commodore Garrett, we are on our honeymoon- shouldn't we be getting back to bed?"

"I'm not sure I want to go back to bed after all this." James said offhandedly with a smile that showed he clearly thought otherwise.

"I've just thought of a wonderful game for us to play." Meredith said with a smile, tugging him down the hall. "Let us pretend that I am the Commodore, and you are the pirate captain I have just captured." She tugged the sash from her robe and began winding it around his wrists. "And now you're going to beg me for clemency, so that I will spare you from the gallows."

James cocked an eyebrow. "The Captain and the Commodore, mm?" he asked as she dragged him away with her.

Meredith nodded, opening the door back to their bedroom. "I think I like this game already." James said with a smile as the door shut with a snap.

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OH, goodness, it's over.

Ian: Until the next Pirates movie, you mean.

Something like that…