Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A Free Spirit

Chapter 1

Ever since I had left her, as I had, according to her, all alone, she'd had nightmares. The nights that she didn't she still dreamt about me. Although this means that I was involved in her nightmares as well. When she woke up I didn't leave her mind, I stayed there, and I wasn't going anywhere. I was in her head constantly, not leaving out any space for something else to fit in there. She had tried to think about something else, many times, tried to occupy herself with things like reading or working, but that didn't work. In some way or another she managed to come back to the topic of me every time. When reading it could be a sentence, a single sentence, or even something as simple as a word, which she related to me. There were nights when she couldn't sleep; the cause was just the memory of me that rested, maybe not all that, peacefully in her head. She didn't want to stop thinking about me, it was her way of keeping me alive, she said. When keeping memories of me alive she kept me alive. She missed me terribly.

All of this she only told one person, someone who she thought missed me almost as much as she did, her best friend and my only sister, Ginny. My sister is a real secret keeper, you tell her a secret and it will stay with her forever. Then you may ask yourself; how does he know all of this? Well, it's simple; I'm dead.

I'm not a ghost, that I'm not. There's not really a word for what I am. Let's just say that I'm sort of like a free spirit. Yeah, that's what I am, a free spirit. I'm able to watch, listen and from time to time, during real emergency situations, talk to people. By people I mean witches or wizards. There's no way that I could possibly talk to a muggle. Even if I could they wouldn't believe it, stupid muggles, they'd think that they'd gone mental and probably freak out in one way or another. Although, I think most witches and wizards would too, at first. Well, back to me. So, as I said I can watch and listen to wizards, I can also follow them around, while they are doing everything. By everything I mean everything, I'm invisible. There's no way for me to become visible, I'm nothing but air really. You see through me and that's it.

I can see myself though. To me I look almost the same as I did when I died, I mean I've just aged a year, it's not much. In real life I would probably look the same as I do now. Well, maybe a bit clearer, not as hazy and, well, unclear as now. You age, just like in real life, I don't really know what happens when you, let's just say, die. What I mean is that I don't know what the next stage is; no one's a free spirit forever. You sort of die in this case too, but when or how I don't really know. I suppose that's like in real life as well. In the way that you don't know what happens next, where you go and everything like that.

These powers that we, the free spirits, have, the abilities that we have, shouldn't be abused. It's a great responsibility, not everyone has the opportunity to become a free spirit. Not that you can choose it, you're chosen. You can't turn down becoming a free spirit, you just can't. It's like being born; you don't really have a choice. Some may see being a free spirit is a punishment, some may see it as a reward, and I don't really know what I think. From time to time I see it as a reward but more often I see it as a punishment. I can see her and hear her. I can see the tears that slowly make their way down her cheeks; I can hear her silent sobs. But there's nothing I can do. I can't comfort her, I can't hug her and tell her everything will be okay, I can just watch her, knowing that it's because of me that she's sitting on her bed, crying. It's my fault.

When you love someone the last thing you want to do is to hurt them, you don't want them to get hurt in any way, and you don't want to see them sad or upset. In this case I had hurt her, deeply, and it wasn't because of anything I had done. Well, in some way I suppose it was. I mean, I did get killed. I was there, I fought in the final battle and I got killed. So I suppose that it kind of was my fault after all. But it wasn't as though I wanted to die, no way. I love life, I know that I'm dead, but I still do. Life is something you can only experience ones, in my case that one time didn't last as long as I wanted it to. But what can you do about it? Well, for me, I found that you can try to make the person you love happy. Do your best to make sure that they move on and really make the best of their lives. In my case it sort of means try to make her forget about me, at least think less about me, avoid her having nightmares, having me on her mind constantly. It would probably result in her leaving me behind, finding a good guy, the whole family, house and owl thing. The thing I hate about that, the thing I hate the most about being dead, is the fact that I'll never be that guy, never. I'll just have to live with that, maybe not the right expression, I'll just have to.

So that's what I decided to do. I decided to break the most important rule of all,"You shall not meddle with living wizards/witches lives." So, that's when I started "Operation Happy Hermione." I was simply going to help Hermione to move on; I was going to help her to forget about me.

I didn't really have a plan, I had no idea how I would do it. But I knew that in some way I had to. I couldn't stand the thought of her crying over me every single day, not knowing that every time she did so, I stood there, next to her, fighting the urge to hug her. I don't know if she would feel it if I did, I don't know if I could feel it or if I even could touch her, I've never tried. I've never dared to take the chance, and no one's ever told me if it's possible. Even if it was I don't know if I would do it. I'm not sure I want her to know about me, I guess its better this way.

I knew that if this was going to succeed I had to go through it step by step. If I hurried the process I would fail in my attempt to help her. I had to take it slow, no matter what.

I had a feeling that if I was going to succeed in this, helping her to put the memory of me behind, I needed help. I needed to get someone to help me, without them knowing. I knew that both Ginny and Harry had done their best in trying to do what I was about to do. They had tried really hard in helping her to move on in any way. So had she, Hermione had done the best she could on her own to put a part of my memory behind. She clearly didn't succeed though.

I didn't really think that it was such a smart idea to get her to date right away, even though it sort of was about time. First of all she had to be ready. I'd have to get rid of her nightmares and her constant thoughts about me. Her daydreaming had to stop as well. Then, when she was ready, I'd have to find a guy who was good enough for her and hope that she'd like him. In his case it shouldn't even be an option not to like her, I mean, who doesn't?

You really must think that I'm crazy. I love her more than anything and I'm going to put my soul, I hate mortal expressions, into getting her to forget about me. Well, I'm starting to wonder myself. But the whole thing is really based on her happiness. She won't be happy if she can't put me behind, I'm not there anymore and I never will be. She has to get over that and when she does, I'm pretty sure that she'll be happy.

So, finding a good enough guy wasn't the first thing I had to deal with. I would have to get her to see that possibility. She can't keep living in the past, she has to move on. I must have told you this a dozen times, haven't I? Well, the question is how to get that message to her. This isn't my area, she's the smart one. I'm not used to come up with brilliant plans; I always let her do that. This time's different, it's not like I can walk up to her, ask her what I should do. Not anymore, at least.

A visit to her place would probably be the best idea. That was the place where I most likely would find out what to do, except for Hogwarts. That's it, Hogwarts! Almost everything we went through together we went through there, at Hogwarts. See, I can be smart from time to time.

I closed my eyes and focused on the Hogwarts grounds, except for walking around, this was the most common way of transportation for us, free spirits, a certain way of apparition. The thing that worried me was what would happen if it didn't work this time around. I had always focused on places I knew you could apparate to as a wizard. I knew that as a wizard there was no way that you could apparate to Hogwarts, Hermione was kind enough to remind me about that a thousand times during are time there. I focused hard on the place where I wanted to go, my favourite place on the Hogwarts' grounds.

The thing that I think about when I hear the word Hogwarts, except for Harry and Hermione, is my old time favourite place, the Quidditch pitch. I loved that place during my time at Hogwarts, and I still love it. I love Quidditch, so that's one of the reasons. Flying around there, just playing, it's great, a feeling that I can't even describe. I won the House Cup there, my first year on the team, that was awesome. So, I love the place because of the game, but that's not really the main reason why that's the first place that I think of. It was there, on the stands, that I kissed Hermione for the very first time.

I must say that I was relieved when I opened my eyes end saw the six hoops, three on each side of the field, the scoreboard and the flags along with the stands, on where I was standing. I smiled when I saw that a team was practising on the pitch, not just any team, the Gryffindor one. I smiled when I saw a boy, must have been around twelve, he was circling round the hoops one side, the wind ruffling his red hair as he flew. Who knew that I would be the one that my nephew took after? I'd put my money on his dad, Charlie had been a most terrific seeker, and he had been brilliant. The best one after Harry.

I have a feeling that there'll be a few more nieces or nephews of mine on the team. Probably a seeker, what else will Harry's and Ginny's daughter grow up to be. She's only a few months old now, but I have a good feeling about her. All normal Weasley's end up in the Gryffindor team, by that I mean that It isn't surprising that Percy never even considered it. I mean, we never even considered him being a normal Weasley. I'm glad that Matthew took after me, now that I'll never have a son or daughter myself, although I must admit that I think Matthew will be a better keeper than I ever was. It's weird how your thoughts wonder when you really should be doing something else.

Back to the issue of Hermione. I think that I know her better than anyone, but I'm sure that there's one thing that knows her better than I do, the Hogwarts' library. She must have spent more than half her "Hogwarts time" in that place, and I'm quite sure that that place knows her just as well as she knows it. Of course the library's the place I should go to if I want to figure out what to do about her. How odd, there's a place that knows my best friend better than I do, who'd have thought?

It had been proved to me that I, as well as other free spirits I suppose, am able to "apparate" to, and probably from, Hogwarts' grounds. But I wasn't planning on finding out if that same rule goes for the castle. I don't even know what happens if it doesn't work, I might just disappear, who knows? As I wasn't planning to take that chance I walked away from the Quidditch pitch, leaving the sight of my nephew behind, steering my steps towards the castle. On the way I passed, not only places like the lake and the big giant oak, along with the forbidden forest. But I also walked past memories, memories from my time at Hogwarts. When I saw Hagrid's hut, I smiled weakly and let out a deep sigh. It wasn't Hagrid's hut anymore; I don't even think that anyone took over after him. Hagrid wasn't chosen to be a free spirit, that's all that I know. I wonder where he ended up; maybe half giants aren't allowed to become free spirits. I don't know.

When I looked towards the lake I managed to catch a glimpse of the giant squid. As I saw one of its huge tentacles reach up over the water surface I couldn't help but to smile. The next thing that happened seemed to be taken out of my memory. The squid reached out for one of the boys, one of it's giant arms grabbed hold of him, holding the boy over the water he began to spin him around. The boy seemed to be having a blast, and right when he least expected it the squid pulled away and let the boy fall head down in the water. It was strange how this boy just seemed to end up in the same situations as dear old Neville, but he reminded me an awful lot of him. I suppose that there's at least one Neville always Hogwarts.

I know that the reason why I stayed there for a while, watching the boy and his friends, wasn't just that the group of people reminded me of how we used to be. We had just been happy, carefree teenagers, although a bit worried and bothered by the things that were going on. But even with that nagging in our heads we managed to have the time of our lives. No, the main reason, I think, was that I was doing my best to bring up the courage to go inside the castle. There are some places where I never went after I lost my life. The Burrow's one place, Hogwarts' another. I've never actually visit my grave either, although I watched my funeral from a far distance. Hermione goes to see my grave every day, I've never even considered watching her there, and I haven't even considered visiting it. I mean, just the sound of it, visiting your grave, it freaks you out, doesn't it? I mean, a normal person doesn't go and visit their own grave, they can't. But I suppose that day will come too, just like this one.

One thing that's really exciting about this lifestyle is that you discover new things that you can do, at least once a week. Sometimes you're really surprised, because suddenly something happens that you're so unprepared for that it's scary. So when I felt something that felt as though this gust of wind blew right through me, I knew that something was happening. The one thing that I didn't know was if it was something new or something I'd already experienced. As soon as I had that feeling, I closed my eyes, I feel safer when I do that. Before I opened them I felt that huge gust of wind again, but this time when it blew towards me, it made my hair ruffle. I swallowed hard and opened my eyes slowly. When I looked around I felt like cursing, something always goes wrong when I'm trying to do something. This time, when I was about to visit the library to find a way of helping Hermione, some higher force sent me to some graveyard or something. When I looked around I could see stones and things that looked like crosses or crucifixes or something. It had to be a graveyard. Why would whatever higher force there is send me to a graveyard? Off all places, why a graveyard?

The higher force doesn't usually send me to places, it had only happened two times before. When the higher force only send you to places when it wants to tell you something, show you something or for some strange reason give you a hint. This time I was clueless. I had no idea why it would choose to send me to a graveyard. Unless.

Unless this was where I had been buried, if this was "my" graveyard. But if that was the case, why would they send me to my grave, the grave I had never even visited? There had to be a reason for it, I knew that.

Something that I think is really weird about being a free spirit is that you can't really feel if something's hot or cold. It's really bothering, although sometimes it can be quite nice. So even though I can't feel it I lived long enough to know, by the look of things, when it's hot or cold. At this point, to me, it was clear that it was freezing. So I automatically pulled my cloak tighter, even though it made no difference, whatsoever to me.

Feeling that I couldn't just stand there I looked around, trying to figure out in which direction I should go in. It was getting dark so when I noticed a light post, not so far away, I chose to walk towards that. I've never liked the dark, not even now, as a free spirit. Good things never come with the dark; I've learnt that the hard way. I mean, bloody hell, I died in the dark. That does leave some kind of impression, not a good one at all.

I had lost myself in my thoughts again; I can't believe how often that happens nowadays. So it wasn't until I had reached the light post that I noticed it, I noticed her.

Hermione was kneeling down in front of a gravestone, my gravestone. I couldn't really see what she was doing, but I'm guessing she was putting flowers there or something. I hesitated, it was as though I was having an inner discussion with myself. On one hand I didn't want to go over there, it was my grave; I wasn't supposed to visit it. But then, on the other hand, she was there, so I wanted to be there. The thought of Hermione got me to take a step closer to my grave, but then I stopped. I wasn't supposed to go there, was I? But maybe the whole point in this, the higher force sending me to this graveyard, was that I was suppose to go over there. Maybe I was supposed to follow my curiosity and go and see my grave. I decided that that was the point, the meaning of this. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to pick up the courage. When I opened my eyes Hermione was still kneeling down in front of my gravestone. That pulled me over the line, I started walking, pretty slow though, towards my grave.

After what felt like a second I was standing there behind Hermione. I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to touch her. Instead I walked around the stone, standing on the other side of it, I knelt down. Trying to catch a glimpse of Hermione's face. I looked down at the ground for a second, and at the time as I looked up Hermione raised her sight. I felt a sting in my heart when I looked into Hermione's eyes. I hadn't done that since before I died. Hermione has beautiful eyes. You know that you say that when you look into someone's' eyes you can see their soul. That's partly true. When I looked into Hermione's eyes, before I died, I think I could see her soul. But now, now all I could see was hurt and sadness. All the happiness I could see before was gone. There was no doubt that she was crying there were tear marks on her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy. It's strange how I'm used to seeing them like that. I really miss the way they used to spark. Hermione always had that special spark in her eyes; I hope I'll see that again some day.

She lowered her sight again and when she did so I got up on my feet again. I walked around my gravestone, standing on the same side as Hermione again. Still fighting the urge to touch her I stood there. I had no idea what to do, I feared the moment when she would get up, when she would no longer block the sight of the stone. When I would see what it said. Was I really ready for this?

My thoughts were interrupted by a sob from Hermione. I knew that she was crying I knew it even before I walked up to her. I'm used to see her crying, I stand beside her everyday and every time I do so she cries. This time I don't know what took over me. Maybe it was the sight of her eyes, maybe it was the sight of my grave or maybe it was just the tension, the moment, me standing with her in front of my grave. I don't know what is was, but without thinking about it I moved my right hand towards her, I didn't think about it when I placed it on her shoulder. Neither one of us did. I suppose that that means that she can't feel it. I can feel her, I assure you that. But as soon as I noticed my hand on her right shoulder I took it away. I think it was because I didn't want her to notice it. After taking my hand off her shoulder I slowly backed away, afraid of what would happen if she sensed me.

From a few feet distance I watched her, I don't know for how long, but I watched her. She looked so lonely, in front of the grave in which I was buried. Next to it, I noticed, was another familiar grave, at least the names on the gravestone was familiar. It's amazing really, that Hermione hasn't broken down more than she has. It was shocking how much strength she must have. She lost so many people to the war, so many loved ones. Death didn't just grab hold of me; it also caught both her parents. I still remember the look on her face, the sadness in her eyes, her cries and the amount of tears that she shed that night, when she was told about the death of her parents. I haven't really experienced the feeling that you get when you loose someone that you truly love, I was that lost one. But that night, the night of her parents deaths, when I saw how hurt Hermione was I promised myself that I'd never let her go through that again. I broke that promise not long after. That night though, that night I held her, I held her so hard and I never wanted to let go. You know what? I shouldn't have.

Looking at her, seeing how alone and abandoned she looked, a plan started to take shape. The one that was going to help me, the one that unknowingly was going to help me to get Hermione to move on, had to be someone that needed to do the exact same thing. It had to be someone that knew how she felt, that knew what it felt like to lose your loved ones. I would be helping them both to move on. I must admit that sometimes I'm just a plain genius.