|Queer Eye for Hiei
Author: Lil DragonLex PM
Its a Queer Eye for the Striaght Guy meets Hiei! But how long can the Fab Five last without getting themselves killed and can they get Hiei to confess his love for a certain deity? Some HieixBotan.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Hiei & Botan - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,852 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12-08-04 - Published: 10-18-04 - Status: Complete - id: 2100409
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: Yes, yes. I know that I said that the last chapter was going to be the last one, but I couldn't help myself! Besides, there was some loose ends that I wanted to tie up.
StrawberrySoulReaper - it was you that gave me the drive to write another chapter. And thank you for the cookies!
Crystal Koneko - Thank you! And yay! I'm going on your favorites list!
tuathafaerie - Once again, thank you so much! Ted survived because of you. Sadly, there is no HBness in this chapter.
Pen Aaginst Sword - Did you really? I came up with this plot whileI was watching Queer Eyefor the Straight Guy one day and then I thought, hey, why not let them visit Hiei? I would love to see how Hiei would react! And so, this fic was born!
P.S. Did anybody liked the name JuJuBean? I thought it would be funny for Hiei's dog's name.
A voice yelled out from the halls and echoed throughout most part of the Renkai castle. Footsteps scrambling to get to the office where George was located became louder each second as sounds of chaos followed closely behind it. Ferry girls' voice could also be heard as they squealed in surprise or freight, sometimes a mixture of both or from curses about a day's work being lost by the person causing the disturbance.
George started to sweat upon hearing his name being called by his boss. About to leave Koenma's office to go hide from the owner of the said office, the door slammed opened and then was slammed shut as quickly as a heart beat.
At the door was the little king Koenma, sweating a great deal, pale face, and panting as if he had been running for his life. Then again, he probably was and George didn't want to be there when who-ever it was that wanted Koenma's life would appear.
"Seal the office! Make sure that no one gets in here!" Koenma ordered hoarsely.
"Koenma-sama, what's going on?" the oni asked bewildered and half in freight.
"Didn't I just tell you to seal the office?" Koenma gave his worker a nasty look George immediately went to obey. "As for what's going on, someones wants something that I won't give."
"Someones?" George asked, even more confused. Last time he checked, someones was not a word.
"Yes, someones. And I refuse to give it," Koenma pressed some buttons on his desk and the office was then covered in titanium metal and an alloy that was way advance for the ningen time. George pressed some buttons as well and the door was sealed tight by several over metal doors and the same advance alloy.
Next, Koenma pressed a small pink button that revealed a big red button and pressed that. A small holographic computer screen appeared and a female voice asked, "Please state password."
Koenma cleared his throat. "The Great and Powerful Koenma is the Greatest, Smartest, and Most Handsome being to ever exist."
Notice the capital letters where it shouldn't be? Now talk about a big ego.
"Password and voice identification confirmed. Shield spells raised," the female said and the computer screen vanished.
Finally, Koenma dropped to his chair as he felt the ancient spells cover the office, protecting everything and everyone in it. He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and began to wipe away the sweat that pour down his face. "That was close."
"I beg your pardon sir, but who is after you?" George asked fearful. Koenma did not put up the ancient spells unless there was some great emergency. The spells were older than him and Koenma combined and there were more spells that were activated than there were stars!
"Two very powerful and deadly people, ogre," Koenma said darkly. "Not matter what, we must not let them take what they are after."
George nodded his head. A purpose was set out, and he was determined to not let Koenma down. He would give up his life so that the enemies would not get whatever they were after. He looked at the door and prepared for the worst.
But the whole preparing for the worst attitude didn't last for very long. As soon as there was a tremor felt, George's brave attitude slipped as water slips from open fingers. He cowered behind Koenma, who cowered behind his chair.
Another tremor was felt. This one felt like a small earthquake that shook the office. Then another one was felt. It was harder and the source seemed to come from the sealed door. A third was felt. It caused the pen on top of the desk to roll over and dropped to the floor. Koenma and George hugged each other in freight.
Koenma-sama, maybe you should just give the people what ever it is that they want," George said, clearly scared out of his wits.
Koenma pushed away from George and glared at him. "I may be scared, but I still have my pride! It is a lot more than what I could say for you! Have you no pride oni?"
"I think that I lost it sir," George replied.
Koenma jumped to his feet. "You should have some pride! What kind of man are you then?"
"I'm not even a man sir!"
"Oh… Well there's that… But still! You have no pride in what you do? Look at you! You work for one of the most important and powerful person to ever come to existence! You stand near that same person everyday! And you have no pride! I'm ashamed of you George," Koenma shook his head, shamed face.
George looked down at his hands. Koenma was right! He had to be strong and have pride! He was an oni! I was the right hand man, well not man, but person of the Lord Koenma! He was no coward! He will fight for his Koenma-sama! And besides, if Koenma dies, where will he go? There was no hire for Renkai yet and George didn't want to go to Makai. It's dangerous there.
George stood up and walked a few feet before the door. Determination was once again shown on his eyes. And once again he was ready to face whatever it was for Koenma. In the background, Koenma cheered his worker. But when an earthquake rumbled and a loud pounding was heard from the door, Koenma quickly hid behind his desk again in fear.
"Koenma-sama, I will defend you with everything I am," George announced and let out a battle cry, that was cut off when the door flew out of its hinges. It narrowly missed George. George crocked when he saw who was at where the door had previously been. "Mukuro-sama? Genkai-san?"
Both Mukuro and Genkai glanced at the shocked faced, immobilized oni standing in their way and then glared to where Koenma was hiding.
"Did you really think that those weak spells would stop us?" Mukuro smirked. A glint of menace managed to show in her blank, cold eyes.
"Move," Genkai commanded George emotionlessly. George quickly obeyed.
"Koenma," Mukuro said coldly. "I believe that you have something that belongs to us?"
"R-Really? I-I d-d-do? I wonder what that could be." Koenma said clearly frighten. His body was trembling and the chair that he was hiding behind shook as well. Genkai calmly walked up to Koenma, kicking aside the desk and chair as she did so and looked at Koenma straight in the eyes, impassively.
"I believe that you do."
George watched it all with transfixed eyes. He would finally learn what Koenma possessed that they wanted. He completely forgot that if Genkai and Mukuro kill Koenma, he would be forced to go live in Makai.
"Koenma," Mukuro said, just as coldly as Genkai. "Hand it over. Give us our money."
"Money?" George asked confused. He blinked. His jaw went down is disbelief.
"Your Koenma-sama owes us money from a little bet that we made about two nights ago," Genkai answered.
George looked over to Koenma. "This whole thing… putting up the barrier shields and making that big about pride… was about money?"
Koenma's face turned from terror to glare at his employee. "I do have my pride! Unlike you!"
"How much money?"
"2000 yen. Each," Mukuro answered. Hers and Genkai's eyes still on Koenma.
"2000 yen?!" George asked flabbergasted. Koenma made a whole big speech about have pride just so he could get away without giving up 4000 yen? He was about to give up his life just so Koenma wouldn't have to pay such a small amount of money? Koenma had an endless supply of money and he refused to give up a tiny, tiny, tiny, small portion of it?
"George! Help me!" Koenma yelled out as Mukuro and Genkai moved closer to him.
George shook his head lightly and rubbed the back of his head. A fake impish smile grew on his face. "Gee, Koenma-sama. I would really love to, but you see… I just remembered that I have a dentist appointment. And I'm running really late. So I have to go. See you later Mukuro-sama, Genkai-san."
"NO! George! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
He waved bye-by to his boss and then he left. Leaving Koenma with the two angry women.
"You lost the bet," Mukuro stated. She punched the wall behind Koenma. He yelped in fear.
"Now pay up," Genkai demanded. She kicked her leg to the other side of Koenma, trapping him in a box with Mukuro's arm and her leg. This time he whimpered.
"B-But, how do you know that Yusuke was the one who got hit first?" Koenma defended himself. "They all got sick at the same and got bit by Hiei's dog at the same time too!"
"Actually, Yusuke took a bit out of his okonomiyaki one tenth of a second faster than the others and was the first one to be bitten by Hiei's dog. So you lost, on both counts," Genkai smirked at Koenma's horrified face.
Mukuro and Genkai moved in for the kill.
A scream was heard throughout the Renkai castle.
"I wonder what that was," Botan said thoughtfully. She got up from her chair from besides Kuwabara's bedside and went out of the room to investigate. Shizuru followed her into the chaotic hallway full of other ferry girls and oni.
When both girls didn't come back after about twenty minutes later, Keiko and Yukina went to the hallway as well to look for them and found out what was going on. Kurama watched them leave from he sat besides Yusuke. He closed the book that he was reading and got up to look at all of the patients. All of them were wrapped and covered from head to toe with white bandages. None of them could neither move much nor speak.
A couple of hours after Hiei and Kurama left Yusuke, Kuwabara, and the Fab Five (except for Ted) the night before, they found them surround by Hiei's dog(s). They were torn clothed, or rather their clothes were barely covering their bodies, blood in some places, not a lot, paled face, huge wide eyes in freight and horror, and hugging each other in sheer terror as the dogs circled them. About to eat them for dinner, Hiei and Kurama intervened.
Saving them at the last minute, the six of them fell to unconsciousness. Now in Renkai's hospital ward that was rarely used, the six of them and Hiei and Kurama stood or laid on the bed. It was true that humans were not allowed in Renkai unless they were dead, but this was for special circumstances. Their memories of being in Makai needed to be erased and the bites needed to be treated for they were poisons.
Although Hiei and Kurama would normally be severely punished for their plan, they doubted that Koenma was in the punishing mood. Not when Genkai and Mukuro were punishing him for not holding up his end of the bargain. And though it was also true that the six patients didn't need to have their whole bodies wrapped in bandages and their small cuts and bites (how they managed to evade a really bite out of the big dogs was anyone's guess), Kurama and Hiei got kicks out of watching their blood circulation stop. Manily Hiei did, Kurama just wanted to see Yusuke suffer.
"AAHHH! Someone! Help me!" another scream was heard.
"It was hard trying not let Yukina not heal all of you," Kurama said after a while.
"Mmpp mppff mpp," Kuwabara said. His mouth was covered up as well and eyes angry.
"But it was for good reasons," Kurama finished.
"Mummp mmmh mmppf mopf FMUF!" Yusuke tried to yell. He shook against his tight bonds without success.
Kurama just smiled that 'not you say can change my mood' smile. "Why Yusuke, such foul language. I don't think that Keiko would like such a bad mouth."
"FMUF MOU!" Yusuke yelled once again. His eyes blazed with rage.
"Tsk tsk tsk. Since you can't seem to control your foul mouth, I guess that I'll just leave you with Hiei," Kurama watched as the Fab (coughs) Four started to squirm with their bonds in frantic panic. Their eyes held such terror that Kurama wondered how long until they begged for their life.
Even though Kurama couldn't see it, he was sure that Yusuke's face paled. "MM MUFFOP!"
"MNN MNNFF!" Kuwabara begged. His eyes pleading.
"I really must get going. Ted must be lonely in Hiei's apartment. And you can thank Yusuke for reminding me about Ted. I really liked that okonomiyaki and I want the recipe so I can make some for my mother. So ja!" Kurama left the room with frantic mufflings of "Don't go!" and "Don't leave me!" and also "Help me!"
After a while, the six of them grew tired of squirming and calling out for help that would not or ever come. Much like Koenma. the room became quite. All eyes were fixed on Hiei, waiting for him to move.
Finally he did. He opened his eyes and stood up straight from the wall he was leaning on. He walked to the center of the room so that the patients could all see him.
"I will say this once and only once. So you all better not be paying attention," he said.
This caught all of their attention even though Hiei said that they should not be paying attention.
Hiei gave a small sigh in defeat. "Without all of you in my life… I would be…"
The six patients' eyes grew in anticipation. Was he about to say something nice about them? Was Hiei creating a hallmark moment?
"My life would be… so… so much more pleasant without you idiot fools running around like maniacs."
Six pairs of eyes went down cast. So he wasn't about to say something nice about them. Like his life was now more meaningful because of them. Or that he actually considered them to be his best friends and then reveal some sad sappy story about his past that explained why he acts the way he is. Or shed a tear (that would turn into a valuable gem) and apology to all of them and ask for forgiveness and hen ask for a group hug.
"But," their hearts soared. Maybe he was going to ask for a group hug. Of course that thought came from the Fab Four.
"But I suppose that without you annoying people, Botan would not have known me or return my affections."
Their eyes lit with hope.
"But that does not mean that I would apologize to you in any way."
"MPPF?!" Yusuke said shocked and angry.
"And," Hiei walked up to the foot Yusuke's bed. "If any of you," he grabbed onto Yusuke's foot, "think that I would ever apologize for any of my actions towards you," Yusuke's eyes scream with pain. "Then you really are fools."
Hiei proceed to walk out of the room when he stopped and turned his head to the side so that they could see his right eye. "But I guess I should thank you."
"But I'm not that kind of demon."
Hearts sank. And he left.
'Never again will we do an international show!' the Fab Four shouted in their minds. But wait. Did Hiei just say that he was a demon?
Suddenly an image of a green skin Hiei with purple eyes, a large eye on his forehead, and multiple eyes all over his body was implanted in their minds. The demon smirked dangerously.
And then the castle was filled with four screaming human men and one little king. The day was a good day for screaming in Renkai.