vixon: this is an inuyasha fanfic, one of my first so please be nice. I got inspired to write this when I was...really really bored and up really really late so don’t flame me too bad for this crap-tacular creation. Though the idea is cute, im kinda wary on where it’s going. So if something doesn't make sense, its because im just a little too exhausted to notice. Enjoy.

Summery: her love left to fight a losing war, with who.....? He never said. A year passes, and no word of his welfare. kagome struggles with the thought of the worse, of her amber eyed knight never to return. Just when all appears hopeless, she comes across a wounded demon, who looks so much like the one she loves. But he knows not of his past, his life. Only that his name is sesshomaru. Lost in his innocent child-like mind, his nightmares hold the answers to kagomes questions. And the mystery behind his growing hatred for him.

Tainted innocence

Ch1 "who are you?"

She stood in the blurry memory; the dieing sunlight dipped the sparkle on her ebony locks. kagome went to dash away a falling tear, but he had seen it before she had yet the chance to keep the sadness in check. Gentle fingers rose to her cheek, the warmth of his flesh flushed her face, tingling every sensation within her fragile body. The crystalline droplet had been lost in his hand, those protecting palms, with the passionate golden pools drowning her image. The identical misery swirled inside his depth as did in hers.

No words could lift to her quivering lips, no good-byes, and no farewells. It was too much for her to utter such impossibilities, but here they were.... his bag over his shoulder, his sword in his hilt. They came so close to one another’s faces, and yet......he never teased his lips to kiss her before he went. Something both knew they would regret later on in the passing weeks, the months that would follow lagingly. Instead, the hanyou gave his reassuring grin, bringing both their noses to brisk lightly on each other. "I’ll be back for you, so don’t even think about saying good-bye to me now. You know you cant get rid of me that easily." he could always make her laugh, sending kagome to burst into failing giggles, the type that was full of cascading tears as well.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she sobbed into his silvery mane, that silky blanket she wouldn't find lying next to her in bed on those crisp mornings any more. The hanyou plucked unsuccessfully at the words he wished to exchange with her, his true inner feelings that stormed violently within. All’s he found to utter was her name, simple and sweet on his tongue. "kagome..." he whispered, holding her tightly, lowering his ears at the agony this was summoning. He hadn't the courage to say it, to finish what it was he so desperately wished to scream to the world. 'I love you.' closing their eyes, he simply mouthed the words, feeling the twinge of remorse filling him. Before he could keep this moment suspended for much longer, the call of the troops rang across the little garden in front of the two's quant cottage, kouga looking on at the scene with mixed emotions. "inuyasha.... don’t go." kagome stuttered into his kariginu, her plea’s tugged every heartstring the hanyou possessed.

Turning away from her pleading expression, inuyasha stiffened his back, growing rigid at her tears for him. "I have too. Its my duty, you know that." they stood still, but he eventually broke the embrace, tilting her chin in his enlarged hand. "Some things are worth fighting for. YOUR worth fighting for." yet still she cried, begging him not to leave. This was the hardest decision he had ever made, one that haunted them both in its intense chill. Solemnly, he rubbed his thumb over her coral lips, remembering the beauty that is kagome. This vision before him would be the only thing that kept him fighting, all this struggle and war for the one he loved. inuyasha's other hand held her entwined fingers, and pressing into his palm was a small wool cloth. The confusion ran across his deepened brows, sticking kagome immediately as she choked to inuyasha in her meekest of voices, "i-i made it for you, for good luck." she swiped away the moisture building like waterfalls on her cheeks, her puffiness focused on their held hands. inuyasha smirked at her pointless worries, giving kagome a childish 'feh'. "I don’t need luck wench, I’ve got this." he pointed to the bulging muscle's on his arm, but his teasing wasn't what she needed right now.

"You panty waste, im serious!" kagome lightly smacked him over the head, but her frown soon morphed back into its concerned thin line. "Be careful. Don’t be stupid, I don’t want to...to..." she fell back into his breathing chest, his prayer beads jingled at the way she clawed for the warmth underneath. inuyasha nuzzled his nose into her glistening hair, the growing lump refused to dislodge from its position in his throat. "I wont." he softened his face to match that of an angel, stroking the strands of bangs from her down caste eyes. Once kagome had wetted his shirt with the crystalline waterfalls from her pleading eyes, they both took one last look into the features of each other, burning the images into memory. Her blue orbs swept over his carved features, kagome nerved her lower lip to hold down further sobs. It was apparent this, too, was destroying the hanyou. Leaning down, inuyasha grazed a kiss over her forehead, holding them there for only a brief minute, but an eternity they so longed to hold. He would miss this most of all during their separation, as would she when his heat left her. After the wetness of his candy lips had lifted from her skin, kagome held fast to his trembling fingers, he slowly pulled away with the shouts from the other men.

"Don’t forget me." she called, their contact falling away to the tips. inuyasha slightly turned his head once a good distance stood between them, to gaze at her one last time before he vanished into the faceless troop. But her pain only forced the jolts of guilt to pulse feverishly through his veins, aching every place down to his very core. The glance back proved to last only enough for him to vow that THIS battle was to end all battles, come hell or high water. He would finish it. For her.

kouga came up behind the distraught comrade, placing a firm hand over inuyasha's shoulder that nearly caused his knee's to buckle from the weight. "Don’t worry, if anything happens, you know I’d take good care of her." that was less than helpful in the hanyou's opinion, stitching a dark mood in his mind. inuyasha brushed the comment aside, nudging the firm grip from his shoulder. Clenching his right hand tightly about the good luck charm kagome had woven for him; he could only imagine her loneliness, her hatred for all this war stood for. He glanced down at the softness laced between his callused fingers, grinning at its ingénues simplicity. Its symbolism of why he loved that human so dearly. It was a dark blue, like her mid-night eyes, with stitched petals of sakura blossoms swirling around the creation, a reminder of her earthly scent. Of the garden they had grown together, and the life they had built. The remnants of tears clouded his slanting eyes; actual fear began to fog his brain. What if he couldn't keep his promise to her? What if he never returned? What would happen to his love? inuyasha stroked the charm across his cheek, shutting his eyes to drown out the 'what if's' for now. kagome would wait for him. She loved him, and he to her. And that was all that mattered.

'But is it enough? kagome.....nothing will happen to you. I promise.'

The letters were sent, but all came back, blood stained to the sender. The bold black letters on the front read "unable to find soldier". And with each feeble attempt to reach inuyasha, it always resulted in further seeds of doubt to flourish in her heart. Why? Why didn't he ever send letters? Why couldn't he tell her the reason for his departure? Was it because she was a woman.... or the fact he wished to protect her from some horrendous truth behind it all? How was kagome to know for sure, and further more, did she want to know? The months trailed on, from the blossoming spring from which he left, to the falling golden leaves of autumn.

And still no word. "It is foolish to hang around this place." kagome whispered, rubbing the temples to ease down the throbs. Headaches became apart of her daily life now, not just from the worries of inuyasha's well fair, but also from the turning season and she had yet to harvest enough herbs to sell for market. She and inuyasha had long ago chosen a life away from the rest of humanity, for the solitude of nature and to escape the harassing from ignorant villagers about the hanyou's differences. But a life out in the woods.... seemed rather grim now that it was only her. No one to gossip with, no one to tease into furies. Only kagome and the chatter of the woodland creatures. It was, dare she say, lonely without that dog boy around to play with.

Sighing, kagome placed one of her palms into the dark soil of the garden, pulling up roots for one basket and vegetables for another. She would have to dry these steams and grind into a powder if she wished to make a decent dollar, and the beating rays of the suns wasn’t making this easy. How she missed inuyasha'a digging skills. "arg, this'll have to do. My fingers are gonna bleed." she rubbed some dirt away to see the soreness that lay underneath. yep, it was official. She was pretty pathetic when she couldn't force inuyasha to do the hard work, and now she was going to have to deliver pre-ordered medicines to all the villagers that had paid her in advance. A building chore in itself.

If only people would just come up here and buy the stuff now instead of giving her a list and expecting HER to do it all. "What am I, a delivery boy? That’s inuyasha's job!" as soon as those last words left her lips, the tears came flooding back, kagome had to clasp an unsteady hand to her mouth to hold down the overwhelming nausea. 'I cant get all emotional, not now. Don’t think about it kagome. Just don’t think about It.' easier said than done. inuyasha wasn't someone you could just forget, and deep down in her soul, she had never wanted too. Not in this life or any other. Several minutes passed, and she collected the dignity. Swooping to the two baskets, kagome lifted herself off the ground, trying to dust her knees off and juggle the contents in both hands.

"Better get to work." she told herself this, but it took several more minutes to command her legs to do so. It seemed this was all she did during the dragging days, a way to forget the emotions, even when they still resurfaced when least expected. kagome strolled over to a large rock set against the back porch, setting the herbs on the warm texture for the drying process to begin. After nodding approvingly, she thus went back inside to the kitchen, dumping the vegetables in the sink and replacing the space with bottled medicines for her rounds today. If she started out now, she could make it back by sun down. "yep. yep. Time to go." she had begun to talk to herself, a dirty habit, but it tends to happen when your all alone.... where no one can hear you scream. (MUWAHAHAHA!!)

This day seemed odd. 'No birds chirping, no animal sounds what-so-ever.' kagome glanced up the trees, searching for a curious pair of beady eyes watching her, or at least a feather ball singing of the day’s events. Not a creature in sight, or sound. The cold fingers of fear startled the young woman, rustling her neck hairs by the stillness enlacing the area around her cottage. "I wish inuyasha was here." he always chased away the shadows, all the things that scared the Holy Ghost out of her. Now she was in a forest, away from civilization, with all sorts of beings living within its concealing foliage. She scratched her arm in shear nervousness, eyes sweeping into the swaying branches and moaning leaves ahead of her. No danger seemed visible, but then again, inuyasha had countless times proven her wrong.

"....oooh..."

kagome leapt out of her skin at the groan, her heart sped faster and faster within her rib cage, nearly busting the beating organ from its bone prison. Every hair stood on end, kagome had instinctively released her hold over the weaved basket. "Who’s there?!" she demanded, shakily, but placing every bit of escaping bravery into the question. No answer, not even an echo. The woman stepped back several feet, finding her knee's falling limp by the unknown all about her. The call had come from everywhere...and then, nowhere. kagome's face darted to the surrounding area, to the shadows, to the fallen logs, to the places she couldn't see into. still nothing came as an answer.

a rustling sounded to the left of her body, the very movement of brush rattling from the swaying of a wounded animal. turning towards it, she steadied her nervouse the best she could, pushing the sinking coal of fear deep into the pit of her stomach. kagome reached a pebble hand to the moving bush, biting her lip, and swallowing the bile in her throat. "H-hello?" the thorns cut savagely into her already raw fingers, but she pressed further, mouth gaping at the creature laid before her.

"inu...?" kagome stuttered the word out in a whisper, unable to finish, for, once her voice lifted into the air; the person spun his head around in speeds she didn't know he possessed. He wore a white kariginu, with multiple patterns woven delinquently across the sleeves. It was a fine design, and a genuinely exquisite outfit that hinted his muscularity underneath. But his hair had been what sparked her voice to burn, and that burn caught in her throat, scorching the lagging breath. His eyes....... so familiar. kagome nearly fell to her knees, the way he looked up at her from his halfly propped position against a tree sent memories to course in the young woman’s body. 'Oh my god! Oh my god!' but...no. He wasn't....... he wasn't inuyasha. He was a man. A stranger to her.

His long silver mane wavered in the wind, tangled with the likes of sticks and fallen leaves. And....blood. That’s when kagomes eyes grew even more so than before. This man, he held his chest to cover the seeping wound that stretched across to his belly button, his life fluid oozed in an unrelenting way that nearly gagged kagome. And she had thought she had seen the worst done before, this one toped the unpretty cake. Kneeling beside him, the coldness of his stare made her teeter in a way, as if silently asking for permission to remove his hand. Laying her fingers over his blood stained others, he snarled evilly at her, in a feral, demonic way that put the shivers into her flesh.

"Don’t worry, I can help you." he appeared skeptical, but said nothing. Her focus fell from his thinned lips to his exposed wound. He allowed kagome to lift his hand away from its dull shimmer; her expression took a concerned turn from its lack of clotting, and the spreading infection. Pulling away, kagome ran to her basket of herbs, knowing she had packetd at least something to save this stranger from deaths doorstep. And as she picked the first scattered bottle that had strayed from the others on the ground, her smile temporarily spread at its disinfecting qualities. Taking the entire handful of medicinal to her patient, kagome went to work tearing a stripe of her dress to use as a make-shaft bandage. The man never made another snarl at the sting, if fact, he never moved when, not even when she went to dab the herbs over his chest. Glancing up into his face, she was somewhat relieved he had fallen asleep, or perhaps passed out from blood lose.

It wasn't unbelievable; he did sit in a drowning pool of his own crimson blood. kagome pushed his shirt from the cleaned wound; her fingers dipped into the flesh to stroke out the dirt and replace it with the protein in one of her bottles. His face twisted suddenly, but eased back once the cool of the powder spread. 'That face......' she thought, almost able to see inuyasha somewhere in that gentleness of his features. But it wasn't him. This was just some man, injured on the roadside, from the mysterious depths of who knew where. Sighing, kagome wiped her hands, pushing a tear back behind her sockets. This wasn't the time to ball like a pathetic little girl; she had a man that, for all she could tell, was dieing. He had more problems than she, but never shed a tear for it. Not even when she had to jab her fingers deep down inside him to wash away the swelling puss.

"But your eyes, those golden eyes." she stroked his chin, in the caress she had performed on her love every morning when they had awoken. 'No! Stop that!! He isn't...your stupid kagome. No touchy or I’ll break your fingers off.' she threatened herself cruelly for those wondering thoughts. "I could just slap myself for that." but that wouldn't solve anything, now would it? kagome, placed her healing hands to his chest, slowly removing his shirt to bind the slash before more germs invaded his body. A simple, harmless plan, that was completely beyond easy.

The blush crept onto her cheeks as she manipulated his clothes from his shoulders, maneuvering her way till the shirt hung loosely from his waist. That rock hard, broad shouldered fasic that no doubt made every lady swoon over. And kagome was no exception. She could only allowed her curious gaze to travel his abs, taking in the carved canyons of his chest, and the strong muscles bulging from his limp arms. He was.... 'Magnificent.' (Can you tell I think that man is hot yet. sigh) it took the dots of red to draw her glazed stare back to his gash, kagome slapped her face for the embarrassment, for the impure thoughts she just had about a complete stranger on the ground. And for the fact those thoughts weren’t for the one hanyou she had given her heart too to begin with.

"Damn my hormones." binding the wound the best she could, kagome then went to loop one of his arms over her shoulders, a feeble attempt to get him back to her cottage before anything else. Boy he was heavy, and not to mention dead weight on his feet. It was a wonder she took a step with him hanging off of her, and a miracle she got him to her house before she collapsed from exhaustion. She had sat him on the floor for now, rummaging through blankets and pillows to make him a comfortable pallet until he awoke. kagome bound his injury with gauze after he was settled on his new sleeping place, and for her sake, managed to fit him into an old nightgown that had previous belonged to a certain inuyasha until she washed his blood coated garmet.

'Who is he? Where does he come from? Is he a survivor from the war, does he know inuyasha in some way? They could almost pass for brothers by the resemblance, but then again, I think the cat resembles inuyasha by now.' kagome shook her head, sitting next to the remarkably familiar man. He hadn't stirred, only his breath that raised his chest gave a sign he was still alive. "Lets pray you make it through the night." kagome quoed, stroking the sweat from his brow. She was ready to pick herself off the floor, and perhaps make herself a cup of steaming tea to calm her nerves, until his lids tightened. His face scrunched, twisting into turmoil. His mouth moved quickly, quietly from invisible words. Was he talking in his sleep?

kagome bent down to hear the inaudible sound, the one he seemed to repeat over and over in a growing level. "What are you trying to say?" kagome whispered into his ear, nearly brushing her own against his lips. His breath was so hot, with a passion for something in the clashing of his dream world. If only she could understand, to peek inside his mind. They’re..... She had almost made out what this stranger had spoken, but it was a wisp, to full of his grunt to fully comprehend. "What is it?" her face flashed, a hand shot up around her slender neck in one fluid motion. His eyes had burst open, with the burn of red stretching across the white till it was flooded in the crimson storm of his fury. He jolted up, still blindly holding her frail throat till the pricks of his claws stabbed forcefully into kagome's flesh.

"DIE!" that was his word, his order to her. And with it screamed, he bared his fangs at the pulse of her blood rushing against his palm. The look in her eyes held a doe-like innocence, searching wildly for air. The very thing her mind yearned for, demanded, needed. This was no man, this was a monster! She had brought him into her home, to die by his hand, literally. kagome gasped for breath, ringing her fingers on his to loosen them with the little strength she held. No use, nothing could pry the darkness from her now. Again he snarled at her, squeezing ever so tighter, staring into a blank world he had yet to awaken from, "die...all of you!" it was the last she heard, the last.......she remembered.