|I'm Sorry, Master
Author: Smenzer PM
A funny story where Anakin is a vampire and Obi-Wan tries to deal with this odd problem. If you like "Pranks" you'll like this.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Obi-Wan K. & Anakin Skywalker - Chapters: 21 - Words: 42,809 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 11-07-12 - Published: 10-27-04 - id: 2111567
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: I'm Sorry, Master
Summary: A short funny Halloween story where Ani is a vampire
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd and Fox. This is just for fun.
Author's Note: I got this crazy idea from the numerous times Anakin apologizes to Obi-Wan. He seems to be doing it all the time. So I decided to make up crazy reasons WHY he's apologizing! This is the 20-year-old Anakin from AOTC.
"I'm sorry I bit you, Master. It was an accident, really! Your neck just got in the way of my fangs!" Anakin explained, a hurt look on his face.
"A likely story, Padawan!" Obi-Wan grimaced as he rubbed his sore, bloody neck. "You're not sorry at all! I saw how you were smacking your lips!"
"Was I, Master? I'm deeply sorry." Anakin repeated. "It won't happen again."
Obi-Wan glared at his young apprentice. "It had better not!"
"It won't, Master." Anakin promised, a sincere expression on his face. "I don't know what came over me. Honest."
"I forgive you, Padawan." Obi-Wan said as he went into the bathroom to find the disinfectant. "Now go to your room and try to stay out of trouble."
"Yes, Master." With a sidelong glance at Obi-Wan, Anakin padded to his quarters. He burped in contentment and closed the door.
The Next Night:
"OWCH! Padawan, get your teeth out of my neck!" Obi-Wan wailed, slapping at the younger man. Gripping him by the long braid, he yanked Anakin back. He frowned at his student and grimaced. "It's not polite to bite people when they're trying to sleep!"
"I'm sorry, Master!" Anakin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, opening his blue eyes wider in an attempt to look innocent. He blinked several times for good measure. The shiny tips of his long fangs protruded from his closed lips. He backed a few steps away from his Master's bed and paused. "Can I bite you when you're awake, Master?"
"NO! You're not supposed to bite at all!" Obi-Wan frowned, his eyes focused on the teeth. "Padawan, we must do something about this dental problem of yours! And that puppy dog look of yours won't do any good!"
"But I said I was sorry!" Anakin repeated.
"That's it! You're going to the dentist!" Obi-Wan reached for the com that rested on the dresser next to his bed and prepared to make an appointment for Anakin.
"Not the dentist, Master! Anything but that! Please!" Anakin pleaded as he backed away from Obi-Wan's bed, a horrified look on his face.
Sighing, Obi-Wan put the com down. "Very well, Padawan. But you better start biting on something besides my neck or it's the dentist for you!"
Grumbling under his breath, Anakin headed towards the small kitchen he shared with Obi-Wan. Perhaps there was something there he could munch on. Opening the refrigerator door, he peered inside but nothing looked as appetizing as his Master's neck. His Master's neck had never looked that way before he had grown these long fangs. What was wrong with him anyway? "It's not my fault I'm a vampire! The way he talks you would think I became one on purpose."
A bright splotch of red caught his eye and Anakin reached for it eagerly. But his hopes sunk when he discovered it was just an apple. Still, it was bright red and he seemed to be attracted to red foods these days. Griping it securely in one hand, Anakin bit it. His long fangs sunk into the crisp fruit and instantly got stuck!
"Errrrrrrr!" Anakin groaned as he tried to pull the apple off his teeth, but the stubborn fruit wouldn't budge. He let go of it and shook his head vigorously, but it still was firmly stuck to his mouth. Closing the refrigerator door, Anakin padded back to his Master's bedroom. The sheet was rumpled, the blanket half on the floor but his Master's bedroom was empty. Going back out into the hall of their apartment, Anakin noticed a bright pool of light coming from the open bathroom door. No doubt Obi-Wan was putting more disinfectant on his neck. Stepping into the bright light, Anakin knocked on the wooden molding that surrounded the door.
Obi-Wan glanced at Anakin, the bottle of disinfectant in his hand. "Now what do you want?"
"Hmmmmmmmffff!" Anakin said, pointing at the apple."
"I can't understand you with that apple in your mouth!" Obi-Wan shot his Padawan an annoyed look. "Take it out of your mouth."
/I can't Master. It's stuck!/
"Of all the stupid things…" Obi-Wan rolled his blue eyes and motioned for Anakin to come closer. "Now stand still and let me free it."
Obi-Wan gripped the apple and pulled on it. It didn't move. So he pulled harder, leaning backward so his weight would help pull it free. Finally the apple slid off of Anakin's long fangs and Obi-Wan tumbled over backward and landed with a loud thud in the empty bathtub. He banged his head on the wall and grimaced in pain, his knees and lower legs dangling over the wall of the tub. Rubbing at his sore head, he glared at his apprentice. "Anakin!"
"I'm sorry, Master! I didn't mean for you to hit your head!"
"Go to sleep! It's late!" Obi-Wan ordered as he crawled with difficulty out of the tub. Bathtubs couldn't be used sideways.
"But I'm still hungry!" Anakin moaned, a pitiful look on his face. "Couldn't I have just a tiny nibble?"
"NO!" Obi-Wan cried as he eyed Anakin's fangs. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but they looked longer. He hurried past his Padawan and headed towards the kitchen, the punctured apple in his hand. "I'll get you a drink."
"Something red!" Anakin called after his Master's retreating back. A few minutes later Obi-Wan returned and handed him a glass of red liquid. Sniffing it, Anakin realized it was punch. For a moment there he had hoped that it had been something warm and tasty…oh well. Punch was good and he lifted the glass towards his mouth to take a drink, but soon realized his long fangs were in the way! He glanced at his Master. "You don't have a straw, do you?"
Sighing, Obi-Wan returned to the kitchen and spent a good twenty minutes searching all over for a straw. The Jedi and his apprentice normally didn't use them, but it looked like he'd have to start buying them. Finally finding one dust-covered straw sealed in a little paper sleeve, he hurried back towards Anakin. But the bathroom light was out and his Padawan was nowhere to be seen. Deciding to check his bedroom, Obi-Wan found Anakin nestled in bed and the now empty glass sitting on his dresser. "I thought you wanted a straw…"
"I got tired of waiting, so I just kind of poured it in my mouth…." Anakin admitted, red stains down the front of his pale nightshirt. "Well, it kind of worked…"
"Not very well, obviously." Obi-Wan replied, thinking of how he could possibly get the stain out. "Change your shirt. I don't want you catching a cold on top of this dental problem!"
Anakin sighed, but did as he was told. "It's not a dental problem, Master. I'm a vampire now."
"Don't be ridiculous, Anakin! There's no such thing as vampires! You've been watching too many bad holodramas again!" Obi-Wan accepted the wet shirt and headed towards the small laundry room. He would have to get it into the wash before the color soaked in. Who would have thought a dental problem could cause so many other problems? The wounds on his head and neck pounded in time to his heartbeat, pain shooting through him. He was lucky he didn't have a concussion from hitting his head that way. No matter what he had said to the younger man, he would need to make him a dentist appointment. Perhaps the Jedi dentist could explain why Anakin's teeth had grown so long and why this new obsession with red foods. Obi-Wan tossed the shirt into the tiny washing machine and closed the lid. Once the machine was on, he headed back to his bedroom to get some sleep. He was almost there when an idea popped into his head and he turned around. Taking the box of aluminum foil off the pantry shelf, he pulled all the foil out of the box and folded it onto one long strip about seven inches high. This he securely wrapped around his neck and taped it in place. Anakin wasn't going to bite him now!
The next morning, Anakin crawled out of his room and headed towards the kitchen. His stomach was rumbling noisily and he hurried to the table. He was surprised to see that Obi-Wan looked terrible! There was big dark circles under the older man's eyes and he was sitting there half asleep, his blue eyes barely open. "What's wrong, Master? You look awful!"
"I couldn't sleep." Obi-Wan admitted. "The foil kept itching my neck and it was driving me crazy, so I was up all night."
"Foil? What foil?" Anakin asked as he set about preparing breakfast for the two of them. He stuck slices of bread in the toaster and got the box of cereal out of the cupboard. He placed bowls and spoons on the table, and then opened the refrigerator to get the milk and juice. And since Obi-Wan liked them to eat healthy, each one also received a banana and orange. The toast popped up and the Padawan placed it on plates.
"The foil I wrapped around my neck last night so you couldn't bite me!"
Anakin stared at Obi-Wan, giving him one of his looks. "Master, you need some help…"
Obi-Wan glared at Anakin; put picked up his banana and started to eat.
Anakin sliced his orange in half and bit into one of the pieces. When his fangs pierced the orange, juice squirted across the table and hit Obi-Wan in his eye. "I'm sorry, Master! It was an accident!"
Shrieking in pain, Obi-Wan stumbled towards the bathroom. When he emerged some time later, he pointed an angry finger at Anakin. "That's it! You're going to the dentist!"
To be continued…