You cut me down a tree

And brought it back to me

And that's what made me see

Where I was going wrong

You put me on a shelf

And kept me for yourself

I can only blame myself

You can only blame me

And I could write a song

A hundred miles long

Well that's where I belong

And you belong with me

And I could write it down

And spread it all around

Get lost and then get found

or swallowed in the sea

Coldplay; "Swallowed in the Sea"

II

Crystal

Once upon a time there was a pokemon. When he was born, he had trouble coming out of his mother, Kokopelmana, goddess of the wind. He wouldn't breathe until his mother had taken him by his neck, leaving his two older siblings crying on the birthing bed while their father, a forest mononoke who was the god of life and death, consumed their umbilical chords, and let him drown in a river. One year later, the pokemon could run with his mother through the entire jungle while his siblings and their slow crawl followed their father's long, steady strides over his earth, his brother's footprints burning the baby flowers and ferns that had grown under his father's feet. Another year and the wind goddess was dead along with her lover of the earth, but their children were already living up to their expectations, like all good siblings do, by trying to kill each other and taking as much of the jungle with them as they could.

The infant pokemon who didn't know how to breathe properly could easily take on his mountainous hulk of a brother, whose fiery build didn't stand a chance against his younger sibling's ability to control water, and outwit his sister whose frustrated lightning attacks would knock down trees and burn the air, but just weren't fast enough to catch her mother's child, who could run on the wind instead of just using it to breathe like everybody else. When sister was ill with fever and had no thunder in her breast it was her younger brother who wrestled a giant Gyarados and dragged it back for the elder to roast and use to nurse her back to health, even though he himself had never quite gotten rid of his childhood sickness. His hoarse roar, heavy with a cough that clogged his lungs, brought forth rains that flooded the jungles and drove out the humans who wanted to burn the soil, reap the trees, and use the temple ruins to relieve themselves on the Unown so that they could build their own ugly, angular structures that would have choked the river. He hadn't yet grown into his own bones, but he was worshiped by the humans as the rain and river when it took form in an animal skin.

That was life. The sickly infant was the alpha of his own little gang of three. Being the best, he grew bored. His siblings wouldn't fight with him anymore because they were tired of loosing. They wouldn't eat the fish he caught, not even the Dratini he traveled so far up river to snatch from the currents that carried them away from the adults. The two found a new cave inside a hot, sweltering mountain where the eldest brother now bathed. Being lonely and restless, the younger brother spent long, hot afternoons floating down the river. There was no one else but himself, and he had barely dabbled in the strange, foreign territory of his subconscious before. Thinking was strange to him, but he gave it a shot anyway. No matter how far he swam or how fast he ran, there was always more. He decided he wanted to have it so badly, it felt like there was fire running under his skin instead of water. The river told him to go, just go as far as he could and find out where it ended. He did get up. It was suddenly so simple. He just didn't stop running.

The jungle sprawled out for miles, growing warmer with each day and bringing pokemon he hadn't seen before. There were little orange crabs with mushrooms on their backs, blue pokemon with white puffs that were torn apart by strong winds, and a small pink cat who he had almost snorted up his nose when he stopped to take a drink. With an explosion of pink and gold bubbles, he had been thrown back and the cat pokemon was off and flying. He chased it for miles on end, a shining pink trail of a psyshic's teleport guiding him in the day and the ancient smell filling his nose when his red eyes failed him at night. He'd break its neck when he caught it, he figured, or maybe drowning it would be more satisfying. Either way it would taste good, it was a shame his brother wouldn't be around to cook it, or maybe this sort of pokemon was like fish, better raw and slippery.

The ground was different under his paws and suddenly there was no more jungle. He slipped. Dirt flew behind him as he ran, his cat pokemon flying farther and farther away. It was hard to run over the soft ground. A loud roar pounded in his ears, but it wasn't from his frustration. It was alive and crawling beside him, a dark beast that smelled like a million Dratini stroked a brilliant green into his crest. He looked to find that the moon had fallen into a black pit in the ground and he was suddenly frightened, finally coming to a stop. The moon was suddenly swallowed up and rain brushed his face, though the skies were clear and peppered with stars and a full, milky moon pregnant with the next month. It was still where it was supposed to be. The moon in the pit was a reflection in a body of water bigger than anything he had seen before. The son of the wind suddenly realized where the river ended. He had found his mate.

The ocean resisted him, at first, pushing him back with each salty wave that broke on the shore. Mud clung to his white fur and the skeletons of Krabby legs became tangled in his long mane as he crawled, letting each arm pound and beat his body while he tried to cling to the mud that was pulled back with each receding wave. He paddled helplessly, twisting with each pulse until finally he was surrounded by her, him, it, all at once swimming. He was caressed and beaten, thrown and rocked to sleep. He walked on top under the shining white sun, the water rolling gently underneath his paws, and roughly thrown and crushed by angry, black waves churning under a storm. He wore seaweed in his mane and scales between his teeth. He told the water of his love and wanted her to feel the passion that was clouding the water inside him. He drank the salt until he was sick and swollen. If he listened and floated long enough in the branches of a shallow coral reef, he could hear the waves speaking his name.

The ocean did not love him back, for she had another lover. While he swam, slept, tore out his heart, soaked it with salt water, and stitched it together with seaweed, his beloved ocean cradled back and forth in the arms of the moon. Every wave and tide would swell and recede in the massive, invisible force. Something inside his chest ached when he looked up and saw the moon, the only gaze that the ocean would return on her surface. After giving up on trying to eat the thing to get it out of the sky, he decided to ignore it and would plunge deep beneath his beloved's surface for days at a time. Air meant little to him. He never liked breathing, anyway.

Even when he was completely surrounded by the ocean there were still threats to his existence. Something foreign swam into his ocean. He couldn't tell what it was at first and avoided it as best he could. He didn't want to believe it was a pokemon. Feeling the ancient presence swimming in a countless number of faraway seas disturbed him. It made him feel small and sick with doubt and insignificance. It was a wild beast that swam with wide, sweeping paddles that shifted currents and made tides hesitate. He was startled out of his sleep one morning when it was suddenly swimming beneath him. It was huge. Pale feathers glowed blue in the dark depths, wide wings and a long tail gently caressing his ocean. This pokemon's power was greater than the moon's. Rage consumed enough common sense to persuade him into challenging the beast. He didn't stand a chance. He almost died. Later, he realized, that if he hadn't been so young and pitiable, he probably would have been slain. Instead, he lived to feel the ocean's salt burn and foam in his wounds. For weeks he slept in a cloud of his own blood until his ocean swept him to the warm shores of an island where a Slowking healed him and his human chased him back into the water with a long stick.

He lived by patching events together in-between long tides of drifting in the ocean. He didn't fight, he barely ate. He was addicted to the sound of the waves rumbling over each other. Even though it was fragmented and he couldn't be able to begin to describe what it was, there was enough of a routine for him to know if it was disturbed. There was an iron, human ship in the ocean firing foreign poisons into his water and injuring the Dragonair that had the misfortune of crossing into its path. For the first time in what seemed like ages, he felt something old stirring sluggishly in his chest. It was familiar and made ripples in his blood. He knew he had to protect her and the other pokemon that swam in her. He would do anything for her. The other pokemon were frightened, watching each other get sucked into the ship in flashes of red light, like blood, and wouldn't respond to his war cries. He was alone. For days he circled the ship, trying to figure out how to get it to sink. The humans pointed metal tubes at him that smelled like smoke and embedded little pieces of metal into him that he couldn't get out unless he chewed his skin off. He swam too fast for their other weapons. No matter how much they screamed or what they tried to pollute his ocean with, they couldn't catch him, and he was putting holes in their ship.

A few Dragonair began to rally behind him. They gave him strength and used their horns to dig the bits of metal out of his skin when the fighting came to one of its brief pauses. Those moments became longer as the battle wore on. He had time to catch something to eat and float, his head above the water, a pod of Dragonair cautiously swimming behind him, watching the humans sulk and the ship slowly sink. The humans stared right back. They seemed to have run out of things to throw at him. Everyone knew who was winning.

He had lost count of the days. He fought the humans, sometimes getting support from the Dragonair. They wanted him to sire a few children. He couldn't remember if he did or not, the only love he understood was the one he gave to the ocean. Then, one day, all the Dragonair fled. Something new had come. Another human machine, making unbearably loud noises, was approaching. He had never seen a large metal machine that could fly before. It didn't do anything but circle the area first, which unnerved him. It prowled the sky, its green shell and twin spinning blades gleaming so brightly in the sun that it hurt his eyes when he glared at it. It was too high for him to physically reach. His water attacks could probably reach, but the effort of making them go so high would render them useless by the time they splashed the surface. He floated, rising and falling as wave crests rolled by him. The helicopter was now approaching the ship, turning to make an orbit around the end that was still above the water.

He dove under the surface, keeping an eye on the submerged end of the ship. He could see the remains of a few unfortunate humans floating by. He positioned himself, and sneered. The pokemon kicked and swam for the surface, moving with the sea. There. He felt another wave roll past and he road along with it, letting it push him to the surface and he burst into the air, jumping for the ship. He landed hard on the burning hot metal, scrambling to climb over the edge his stomach found. Where was it? He heard the loud roar and imagined its shock as he jumped and climbed to the top of the ship, then with a great leap landed on top of the helicopter before it could fly away.

His stomach was churning, but he kept his balance as the machine awkwardly wobbled in the air. He hadn't left the ocean in so long, he had to remind himself that the air was also his element. He had his mother's blood.

He aimed for the spinning blades first. Those seemed to be the most vulnerable. He reared his head, opened his jaws, and shot a powerful blast of water at one of the circles, the force of the water pounding a blade out of shape, disrupting its pattern, and sending the helicopter into a wayward lurch. The pokemon scrambled around the top, struggling to keep his balance on the hot green metal. His red eyes glowed with pleasure as he smelled fear, even through the layers of metal and greasy machine. He shouldn't stop.

He prepared to attack again when another smell caught his attention and he whipped his head around. A human had somehow climbed to the top of the helicopter. She was pointing a gun at him and had the stem of a black flower clamped between her teeth. Before he could react, several deafening cracks hit his sore ears and he was shoved back, his chest burning. He felt himself slipping and he panicked, yelping as he bounded forward, running back up to the top and at the human. She pointed the flower at him and shot several glowing balls of crackling black energy at him. He dodged and jumped, claws bared and teeth showing as he snarled at her. The flower was suddenly huge, like a pole, and horizontally hit his chest. The human used it to hold him and his snapping jaws back. She kicked him in the stomach, but not before he shot a blast of water right in her face. They both were pushed away from each other, rolling to opposite ends of the helicopter. The pokemon recovered first and jumped back at her, clamping his jaws around the arm she had held up to blindly block him with her flower pole. He could feel bones break as he violently twisted his head and bit down. She was pounding his muzzle with her free fist, trying to poke his eye, and kicking him in the gut. His paws were sliding in something warm and slick.

Suddenly, everything around him turned blue and cold. He was being hurtled through the air, his grip on her arm lost. He landed on the crippled, spinning blades and was thrown off the helicopter. As he fell back into the ocean, it took him a minute to feel the pain. He screamed, his blood and clumps of his purple mane raining down with him into the sea. He smelled something frightening following him. For a moment, he remembered the white cat that had brought him to the ocean, once upon a time, but this pokemon was much too young to be that.

He swam, hysterically searching for a safe direction. He hadn't felt fear before. Even when he thought the great sea beast had killed him. That had at least been familiar and he didn't fear death by another pokemon. Now, he didn't know what was preying on him. He swam deeper, getting far away from the humans. He was fast in the water, but he could smell the other monster speeding above the waves, the immense power radiating from his unnatural body disturbing the surface. The water pokemon could barely breathe around his panic. Who would tire first?

The sun slowly moved in the sky as the chase wore on. The water pokemon wondered if he was being toyed with. The ocean was becoming shallower. The fear started up all over again, this one deep and horrible. Did the ocean end? Was it possible that his immense, roaring beast of untouchable power had boundaries? His throbbing chest tightened and there was another pain, this one deep inside him, as he stirred up the sand on the bottom of the ocean. He could no longer stay submerged and avoid the ground. He was running. Water streamed down his body as he ran to the beach, his body's fatigue finally catching up with him as his numb legs shook. The ocean had failed him.

The monster was waiting for him. It was sitting in the wet sand, covered with metal armor. As it slowly stood up, the water pokemon turned around and ran. He had nowhere else to go but back into the ocean that hated him. It didn't help. To his horror, the monster was following him into the water. Its pace was slow. It knew that the water pokemon wouldn't be able to pick up its previous pace again. The water pokemon tried, but he couldn't swim at all. He violently kicked his legs, thrashing in one place. The damn blue light was back. An invisible hand was holding him in place. He howled, bubbles furiously creeping out of his mouth. He tried to latch onto the wet soil in the ground, but his claws kept slipping as he was pulled back toward the monster. He howled as he was ripped from the water and thrown onto the beach. The noise was caught in his throat as it tightened, the hand squeezing tightly. His eyes bulged as he twitched in the sand, the afternoon sun mercilessly beating down on him. The veins in his head felt like they would burst from the pressure. He gulped for air, cheeks bulging but none getting through to where he needed it. Giggles burst in his chest. He couldn't stand the pain. Everything around melted into the blue haze and he slipped into unconsciousness.

Giovanni found Mewtwo sitting next to the pokemon on the beach. The few families who had gathered there had long gone, leaving a few abandoned umbrellas and coolers in their rush to get away from the two feuding pokemon. A few technicians were repairing his battered helicopter a little ways down the beach. It was well worth coming out here to answer the ship's distress call. Now he was in possession of a young legendary pokemon. With the proper training, it would grow into such a pokemon that would be a priceless asset to the Viridian City Gym and Team Rocket's enterprises. It was barely bigger than Persian, with long, skinny legs and big paws it hadn't yet grown into. It smelled absolutely disgusting, like a poor man's fish market and rotten seaweed. Dried sand and blood was caked on its blue and white fur. Mewtwo's paralysis had caused it to involuntarily relieve itself on the spot. The helicopter blades had badly torn up its back and cut most of its purple mane off, leaving short clumps sticking out from under the green crest that now had a large crack in it. Giovanni picked at it until the loose chunk broke off, then pocketed the piece. He took a polished Rocket Ball from his pocket in exchange. The pokemon was coming to its senses, Mewtwo keeping its mind in a feverish limbo. One red eye rolled up to look at him. With a small, shallow breath it made a pathetic noise.

"Suicune," Giovanni translated, letting the Rocket Ball drop onto the pokemon. The beast was sucked inside with a flash of red light. The Rocket Ball fell to the sand, where it struggled three times, then beeped once. Persian picked it up in its mouth, then placed it in the Boss' hand. He snapped his fingers and Mewtwo stood up, obediently following them back to the helicopter.

The door opened. Suicune whined, cringing as the bright light flooded into the small dark chamber where he had been imprisoned. He couldn't handle many more surprises. He had woken up in a plain white room, hogtied and a muzzle strapped around his face. He had been examined by countless humans wearing white coats and masks and poked with needles. They shone lights in his eyes and pressed cold probes to his skin. A young woman with her arm in a sling had come into the room and kicked him hard while he was on the floor. They scrubbed him with soap that took away the smell of the sea and left his fur sterile and skin itching. He was fed only a little, some tasteless thing that crumbled under his teeth and left a sour powdery taste on the back of his tongue. They put a collar on him, attached a leash to it, and walked him around a room while a man in an orange suit with a Persian curled up by his side examined him. They kept him in a dark, empty cell with bars on the door when they weren't doing things with him. He had no strength to resist and couldn't get out. He had slowly healed, but his skin was tight with scars and bare patches of skin waiting for fur to grow back in. Now he had been put in this small dark room to wait. He dove for the gap before it was large enough for him to fit through, banging his crest on the top of the rising metal slab. When he had squeezed his thin, bony body out he was stunned, suddenly feeling very small. He was standing in a large room, on a floor covered with dirt. White lines had been painted on, creating an odd grid shape with a circle in the middle. Suicune tucked his two tails in close as he turned around in a circle, trying to take it all in. Bright spotlights, like mini suns, illuminated the arena, but cast heavy shadows over the balconies sticking out above him. He couldn't see the faces of the humans who were watching him. He growled softly, the sound magnified in the empty space.

Suicune sharply turned his head to face another door, identical to the one he came out of, that was on the opposite side of the arena. He braced himself and watched as another pokemon slid out into the light. His instincts told him it was one, but it had no smell and looked like a moving pile of pink goo. Two blank, black eyes looked back and a thin smile drew itself beneath them.

"Ditto," it said, raising two stubs of goo that passed for arms.

Suicune didn't return the greeting.

"Ditto, transform!" a human called from above the arena.

Suicune nearly jumped out of his skin as he watched the Ditto's skin bubble and glow. He felt like those two button eyes were staring right through him and picking him apart. He thought the creature was going to burst, but its skin kept stretching and something like organs began to shift and arranged themselves properly underneath. Bones crunched as they materialized and fit into place. The two button eyes filled out into proper eyes with red irises. The glow died down and Suicune's skin crawled as he realized what the final product was. He was facing an exact copy of himself. It wasn't right. He was unique. There was only one pokemon in the whole world who looked like he did. That was why humans made shrines to him and pokemon trembled in his wake. Suicune settled himself and curled back his lip. He had to kill this pokemon.

The Ditto made Suicune's face smile pleasantly.

"I am going to teach you how to battle for your master," it said with Suicune's voice. "Now, we just wait for the command…"

"Ditto, tackle!"

"Tackle is easy. When your master tells you to tackle, you charge at your opponent and slam into him. It goes like this…"

Suicune was already running toward the Ditto, teeth bared and barking his head off. The Ditto obediently ran toward Suicune, and was promptly crushed. Suicune clamped his jaws around his neck and ripped the Ditto's head off, pink goo splattering. He shook his own head roughly in his jaws, throwing it to the side before he tore into the rest of his body.

"No…no…you're supposed to wait for your master…" the Ditto said feebly, pink dribbling from its borrowed mouth as it watched Suicune tear apart what was left of him.

A shock ran through Suicune's body. He gritted his teeth to hold back his scream as electricity shot through his veins. The heavy collar around his neck had suddenly become very hot. When it stopped, Suicune realized that he was on the ground, being restrained by a swarm of humans. He had a mouthful of the Ditto's gooey body in his cheek. It didn't taste like anything, not even blood.

From the Gym leader's box above the arena, Domino watched the Grunts drag Suicune away and Nurse Joyce run out to try and piece the training Ditto back together.

"Well that was…unexpected," she said, glancing at the dark figure sitting in the leather throne.

Giovanni looked pleased, peering at the scene from over his folded hands.

"I think we'll have to try something else," Giovanni said before taking a long drink from his wine glass.

"Stop, call your pokemon back."

Butch quickly drew the Onix back into the pokeball and Suicune fell from the rock snake's grasp, hitting the ground hard. Giovanni walked over to Suicune, frowning. It was difficult to harness Suicune's rouge power. They had taught him what to do when certain commands were called, but battles quickly grew out of hand and Suicune wouldn't listen. He was so wild that he couldn't even harness his full potential on his own yet. He was crushed by his higher level opponents. Most Legendary Pokemon learned to gain control of themselves by the time they matured, but Giovanni had to change that path so that Suicune was obedient not to himself, but to the leader of Viridian City Gym.

Giovanni took one of his rings and twisted the stone. Suicune's back arched and he howled in pain as the collar gave him an electric shock. Being a water and air type pokemon, Suicune was extraordinarily vulnerable to even a little electricity. The collar served the dual purpose of suppression and improving Suicune's defense. Giovanni twisted the stone back in place and Suicune lay still, panting heavily.

"That's enough for today, I have other things to attend to. Butch, let him know I was displeased with his behavior today."

"I'll take care of him, Boss."

Butch knelt down and stroked Suicune's fur while the pokemon panted heavily. Suicune snarled and tried to bite him, but Butch raised his boot and kicked Suicune in the face. He grabbed hold of the pokemon's two tails and dragged him out of the arena.

The door opened and Suicune shakily crept into the arena. The medicine they kept pumping into him made him feel ill and disoriented, even after they were out of his system. He could hear the Boss' familiar voice from above and a young human he'd never seen before was standing on the other side of the arena. The kid threw a red and white ball and an Arcanine was in the arena. Suicune barely registered what the pokemon was barking at him. He couldn't think. He was so hungry. How could he get food? Winning. If he won the match, they were supposed to give him food. He looked up at the Arcanine, his empty stomach pressing to his ribs. He shouldn't have to put up with this. He shouldn't have to wait. He would get his food right now.

Giovanni put the bloody whip back on the tray the Grunt was holding. The Grunts eyes were hidden under the shadow cast by the low brim of his hat, but his mouth was open in a shocked "O."

"Don't forget to feed him tomorrow," Giovanni told the Grunt.

The Grunt nodded wordlessly, and then quickly left to clean the whip and put it away. Giovanni coolly looked down at Suicune, whimpering and sliding in his own blood.

"You are not a wild pokemon anymore. Until you can fight for my Gym, I have no use for you. If you won't support me, then I won't support you. Until you learn to respect me, you can't function here. You should sit here for a while and think about that."

Giovanni shut the heavy door, leaving the pokemon in the dark. He locked the door and brushed his hands together. He turned, and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Mewtwo standing there, leaning against the hallway's wall.

Is it normal for humans to channel their anger physically in order to relieve it?

"I was not acting out of anger, Mewtwo," Giovanni said stiffly, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves.

But does it help?

"Why? Do you need to relieve yourself of some anger?" Giovanni scoffed, walking away.

Mewtwo followed, eyes glowing blue as he lifted himself off the ground and floated after him.

No.

"It shows weakness when you let your feelings dictate your actions, Mewtwo. It can cause you to make rash choices that you will regret later. If I allowed myself to be truly furious with Suicune, I would beat him to death, then I would no longer have a Legendary Pokemon. So, it is much more profitable in the long run to restrain myself, no matter how much I may want to beat him within an inch of his life. Suicune needed to be punished. The punishment was meant to directly benefit him, and benefiting him will indirectly benefit me. Do you understand?"

Mewtwo didn't respond. Giovanni looked over his shoulder and found Mewtwo examining the ceiling. He pointed at one light bulb.

That is going to go out in twenty six and a half minutes.

"Thank you, Mewtwo, I'll have my technicians get right on it."

You should stop using this brand. The lights in my own cell have been replaced three times in the last five months.

"I'll take that recommendation."

Thank you, Giovanni.

"You're welcome, Mewtwo."

Giovanni stepped into an elevator and Mewtwo followed. Giovanni pressed a button and the elevator started to ascend to the floor his office was on. Mewtwo curiously looked up at the speakers, listening to the music.

Humans enjoy music.

"Most do."

I do not find most pleasurable.

"I don't either."

The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Dr. Sebastian stepped inside, a manila folder stuffed with papers tucked under one arm.

"Hello, Sakaki," he said. He looked at Mewtwo, smiled shakily, then turned to face the closing doors and he pressed his floor's button.

"Has Suicune been making any progress?" Dr. Sebastian asked conversationally.

"He is stubborn, but I've dealt with stubborn pokemon before."

"There's no doubt in my mind that he will be molded eventually."

They rode in awkward silence until they reached the doctor's floor. He nodded and stepped outside, the doors closing shut again and the elevator rising up.

I know other humans posses recordings of sounds they enjoy, so they can listen to them whenever they please, without having the musician or singer or place…with them.

"You…want a CD?"

Precisely.

"Of what?"

The place where we found Suicune. The water…the ocean makes a noise that I am fond of.

"I'll see what I can do. Just make sure you continue to win."

Of course.

Mewtwo's skin glowed blue and he teleported. Giovanni straightened his tie and began to mentally prepare himself for the meeting he would have to attend with the other Gym Leaders of Kanto.

He didn't want to be in pain anymore. He couldn't stand the electric shocks that fried his nerves or how tight it had become as his body grew. He was bigger than the Persian now, but he still couldn't defeat the cat pokemon in a match. Giovanni said it didn't matter, nobody could defeat that Persian, except maybe Mewtwo. Mewtwo…the demon from hell. Suicune couldn't stop shaking when he thought about having to face that monster in a match again. He wanted it all to stop, the yelling, the kicking, the whips, the isolation, but he didn't want to fight for these humans. He hated doing what they told him to. They just had to leave him alone and he would be fine. He could think, he could get his own food, he could survive just fine on his own if they would just let him go. He wanted to go back and get away from everything these humans had touched. Go back…he couldn't even remember where he was supposed to go to. There was something that had once called to him and stirred his blood. Now…he sat up in panic, the machine he was plugged into shrieking as his heart jumped. He couldn't remember. Feeling the ocean on his skin, the hot sun beating down on his aching body, the warm air making his fur curl. He was empty, now. His fur was greasy. His nose was numb. He couldn't feel. His blood had nothing to do, so it tore at him from the inside as it churned in circles. He needed to get out of this prison. He had to. They had to realize that soon and let him go. He didn't know what would happen if they didn't. What would he do? They had no qualms about leaving him alone, by himself, locked up. It was nothing to them if he spent hours, days alone with nothing to do but wait for release. He knew he was young. And he knew what he was. Humans called them legendary pokemon. They lived for a long, long time.

Giovanni poured himself a glass of red wine, silently sitting alone in his dark office with Persian. Something wasn't right. He knew Team Rocket inside and out. It was practically bred into him. The whole damn gym was swollen with tension. Failure was seeping through the walls like blood. Seven years now and Suicune was fully grown, but one wouldn't know it unless they had been studying him. Suicune was hardly a god made to have his image imbedded in stone. He had suspected that Suicune would grow into a slender pokemon, not one of the largest creatures to have ever roamed the earth, but Suicune had grown thin, horrendously malnourished, and weak. Muscles that refused to be exercised faded into nothing. Water attacks spluttered and drooled from his mouth. No matter how long they soaked him or how much they forced him to drink, they couldn't keep him hydrated enough. Giovanni spent long, restless nights staring at Suicune in his cell. He watched Suicune deteriorate, the body hiccupping into growth, but the red eyes turning dull and stupidly round. He had failed to understand this terrible creature. Everything he had learned about pokemon did not apply to Suicune. For all he knew he had a ticking time bomb on his hands, liable to explode into a smoking god of death that would swallow not only Viridian City Gym, but all of Kanto as well. It was just as plausible that Suicune was forever retarded, in both mind and body, and wouldn't recognize strength if it came up and slapped him in the face. Which, Giovanni reminded himself, it had done on many occasions during the training.

It didn't help at all that Mewtwo was behaving oddly. He was loosing sleep and not eating. He spent long hours inside his room, clumsily fingering the pages of the novels that were provided for him. Giovanni simply couldn't keep him supplied with enough books. Mewtwo didn't seem to care what he read, so long as there was a lot of it. He breezed through children's books in minutes, devouring novels in half a day. Mewtwo's fighting had become increasingly more violent. He had killed several pokemon that belonged to trainers who challenged Viridian City Gym, Team Rocket smoothing the incidents over into accidents. Giovanni tried everything he could think of. Therapy sessions didn't work, Mewtwo didn't talk very well about himself. Giovanni had the sessions taped and he watched every one of them. Mewtwo seemed to get confused. When he tried to describe himself, he would always wander off on tangents involving other things happening to him, or talking about other people instead. Mewtwo was on medication now, for his nerves. He had started having seizures. The first match Mewtwo had ever lost was because of one of them. He always complained about headaches, only when Giovanni asked. He went through a full physical examination every week. Mewtwo hated them, Giovanni knew they were painful and degrading, but Mewtwo actually insisted that they had to be done. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong. Not knowing what else to do, Giovanni took Mewtwo with him everywhere, to meetings, on trips, during inspections, even to the routine social events like when he went to the theater, trying to keep the pokemon's mind occupied or at least to find out what was bothering him.

Persian rubbed her head up against his leg. Giovanni reached down to massage the velvety fur behind her ear.

"At least you're doing well," he murmured. "What if you were to tell me you were pregnant with kittens, hm? That'd just be the icing on the cake, now, wouldn't it…?"

Persian mumbled a reply and tilted her head so his fingers ran down her jawbone. The intercom buzzed and Giovanni picked up a message from his secretary. It was Butch.

"Send him in," Giovanni said, sighing after he released the button.

The doors were violently flung open, yellow light flooding into the dark room. Butch's dark silhouette stormed over the carpet, wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Strangling baby Growlithe again?" Giovanni asked, arching an eyeridge.

Butch scowled and slammed his bloody hands on the desktop. He was so flustered that Giovanni could barely make out what his hoarse voice was saying. "Goddamit, Boss! Suicune pisses me off so bad! There's nothing we can do for that pokemon! It's a lost cause, Boss, I'm not training him anymore! Cassidy and I don't care if we get dumped back into field work, it's been seven fricking years, I want some results!"

Cassidy silently followed him, much more composed.

"Boss, that pokemon's gone," she said, gingerly picking up one of Butch's hands by the shirt cuff to get it off of the Boss' desk. "He's not listening because he can't distinguish our voices from…from the sound of those machines in the labs. The scientists were saying something about him being a vegetable. He can't eat on his own, can't walk straight, someone has to guide him. Can't tell what he's aiming at. Mumbles garbage to himself. Boss…"

Cassidy lowered her voice.

"You know that pokemon can talk?"

"He makes noises," Giovanni said, leaning back into the chair so that his face was covered by a shadow. "Like all pokemon."

Cassidy shook her head, her orange ponytails bobbing.

"Not just that noise, he talks like us. He speaks words."

"He addressed you in conversation?"

"Not really. I don't think he knew what the hell he was saying," Cassidy frowned. "That kid who's been feeding him? He says he's been talking like that for about three years now."

Giovanni thought back to when he had been with Suicune. Suicune never made a noise aside from his wayward panting whenever Giovanni watched him in his cell. Out in battle, Suicune babbled all sorts of nonsense to himself. Giovanni realized he hadn't been expecting to hear human words, so he had been dismissing them as coincidences. Giovanni sighed deeply, the noise almost sounding like a grunt.

"We gonna kick him out, Boss?" Butch asked.

Giovanni shook his head. "No. I caught him, he is my pokemon. He's so weak he won't get very far and could be picked up by any two-bit trainer wandering in from Pallet Town. We'll keep him here and find some use for him until he dies."

Giovanni folded his hands and leaned forward, holding them up with his elbows on his desk. He looked down and studied his rings, thinking. He suddenly noticed that the wine in his glass was rippling violently, quietly sloshing up the side of the glass. A cold feeling of dread seeped into him as he noticed the slight tremors around him. He glanced up at Butch and Cassidy, but they seemed oblivious. He cleared his throat, and suddenly the whole room was vibrating. Butch wobbled unsteadily and Cassidy grabbed his arm.

"What the hell?" Butch wildly looked around. "Earthquake?"

The whole place shook violently, Butch and Cassidy thrown off their feet and a loud explosion sounding from somewhere else in the gym. Giovanni immediately stood up, threw open his desk drawer, and took up a handgun before he swiftly left his office, Persian ready at his heals.

Blood, there was so much blood drip, drip, dripping, down the walls, off the table. Someone's arm…hanging off…his arm…covered with it. Mewtwo tried to wipe it off, but he only managed to make it worse, smearing it up and down his arm…why was he shaking? He tightly gripped his wrist, willing himself to be steady. He wanted to be in control. He had to be in control.

Mewtwo jerked his head, eyes blurring as he struggled to pinpoint the sound. Footsteps. Muffled and sticky from stepping in blood. He couldn't stop shaking. There was so much, what was he going to do with it all?

Giovanni stepped over the body of a faceless scientist to get into the room. Persia stood behind him in the hallway, faithfully watching his back. Mewtwo was leaning on a table in the middle of the room, blood on his arm, face, and torso, already staring at the doorway.

"Hello, Mewtwo," Giovanni said calmly. "How are you feeling?"

Mewtwo didn't say anything at first. Giovanni could hear the pokemon breathing.

You…you have a gun…

"Yes," Giovanni took his hand out of his pocket, showing him the revolver.

Are you going to shoot me?

"That depends," Giovanni said.

Mewtwo closed his eyes and Giovanni watched as the pokemon's body shuddered involuntarily. For a moment, it looked like he might fall over. Mewtwo had both hands tightly gripping the edge of the table, so close to the body of another scientist sprawled over it.

"Mewtwo, you aren't well," Giovanni said.

I know.

"I can't have you murdering my staff every time you get like this."

I know.

Giovanni looked down, nudging the leg of an unconscious scientist out of his way.

"Mewtwo, what's going on?"

Mewtwo refused to open his eyes. He tilted his head to the side, lifting one shoulder to meet his bloodstained cheek.

…there was fire…and a pink…cat…he was me…he was taunting me. He was better than me. He had taken a baby Meowth and sacrificed it for the power to kill me, to strangle me in my artificial womb. He told me I shouldn't be alive. That it would have been better had I choked on the fluids they pumped to keep me growing. He told me I killed a girl, I can see her face but I don't know her. She was trying to touch me but I was tainted and she wouldn't let go, so she was swallowed by it. He…he wanted to strangle me with an umbilical cord.

Giovanni made a decision. He was going to get Mewtwo far away from Viridian City. This was much worse than he had thought. Mewtwo was so good at hiding pain. This wasn't just a burn on his leg or a poison wracking his system, he was loosing his mind. Giovanni would clean up the mess here and take Mewtwo south, to one of his other facilities. Mewtwo would get some more therapy, be numbed with drugs and sedatives, then when it had all been flushed out of his system Giovanni would take him to the beach and force him to take a goddamned nap.

"Mewtwo, there is no pink cat," Giovanni said sternly. "This is ridiculous. If anyone wants to kill you, they don't amount to anything because they aren't me. Come, I'm going to clean you up."

Mewtwo's eyes snapped open, two large, purple irises looking pitifully at him.

…you didn't see it?

"No. Mewtwo, you're sick. You ignoramus, don't you even know how to listen to your own body?"

I am listening. It won't stop talking. Mewtwo raised his hand, twitching his stubby fingers and watching the blood spread in thick arcs between them. I can't get it off.

"Soap and water," Giovanni replied coolly. "Don't make me put you in a pokeball."

Don't tell me what to do.

Giovanni crossed his arms. His heart had stopped beating for a moment.

"Fine, what do you want, Mewtwo? Do you want to stand here all day while that woman on the table bleeds to death? Are you going to rub at your arm until the blood dries and crusts on your fur? Do you intend to let some paranoia rob you of your sanity? For God's sake, Mewtwo, you're supposed to be intelligent."

I am intelligent.

Giovanni fought to keep his voice calm and even. "Yes, you are."

I am the best.

"Yes."

I am better than him.

Giovanni was silent.

"Mewtwo, who are you talking about?"

Him.

Mewtwo looked down at his hand, closing and opening his fingers into fists.

I am hideous.

Giovanni laughed.

"I can't argue with that."

It doesn't bother me.

"Good. It shouldn't. I'm not exactly photogenic myself."

Mewtwo silently rubbed his hand over the dark fur on his stomach.

I want this to stop.

Giovanni wasn't sure what to say. He could feel something slipping. He was loosing control over the conversation, and he didn't like it.

"Mewtwo, just come with me. I'll clean you up, you can take a long rest in my room and I'll sort out this mess down here."

I am tired of sleeping.

"…then don't sleep," Giovanni could feel the gun slipping in his palm. He was sweating. "Read, watch TV, have sex with Persian for all I care, just calm down."

No. I must get rid of this feeling.

"What you need is rest."

I need to kill him.

A familiar, painfully cold glow was creeping into Mewtwo's eyes. Giovanni could sense Persian tensing behind him. Even Persian didn't have a chance against Mewtwo when he was in this mood. Giovanni wondered if he should reach for the Master Ball in his pocket. No, he wouldn't make it. Mewtwo would sense what he was doing long before his fingers could even get inside his pocket. Mewtwo's head snapped up. He was looking right at Giovanni, eyes blue. Giovanni felt the color drain from his face. Mewtwo wasn't reading his mind…?

I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED.

Giovanni could barely register the tiny pinprick of white light that snapped in front of Mewtwo. A deathly silence thickly filled the room, making his eardrums ache. The light grew blindingly large, swelling to fill the room. He felt heat, he was thrown back, Persian's barrier rising around him as he slammed into the hallway, his ears roaring with the sound of a very large explosion.

Suicune felt it all pressing down on him, the layers and layers of plaster, steel, and concrete. Here he was, trapped in an underground cell and the whole building had fallen down on him. He was breathing hard, sweat seeping through his fur. This was it. He was finally going to die. He couldn't even tremble with fear, weight crushing him from all sides. When would it come? Would he realize what it was when it happened? What would happen to him? His body would probably stay here, if it was ever dug up he might be eaten by some animal or left to rot, buried in the earth. But him, the part that was trapped in the body. Where would it go? Would it stay in the body, even though it was useless? Would it go somewhere else? Would it simply fade away? This was exciting, something new and different was going to happen. He wouldn't have to deal with the humans anymore. Or would there be humans where he was going? He couldn't stand that, from one hell into another…

Suicune recognized it. His body did begin to shake, crumbs of plaster falling from his body. His nose was swelling, it could smell again. Air. Fresh, natural, soaked with smoke and human fertilizers, but it was air. Suicune painfully hauled his body forward, ears ringing with the noise of another crash falling down now that his body was out of the way. He squirmed, pushing his bone thin body through the small gaps in the rubble. Broken pieces of metal and wood tore at his body, but he kept going, his heart racing. The smell kept getting stronger, growing until he was dizzy with it. How much was there outside?

He fell, rolling down the side of the small mountain until he hit the broken concrete. He was breathing heavily, dripping blood but he couldn't feel the pain. He was so numb. Suicune raised his head. What a mess. Smoke covered everything, ash falling and small fires burning around him. He could smell humans nearby. His heart throttled in his chest, forcing him to his feet. They would try to bring him back.

Go. Just go as far as you can until it ends.

The damage was confined to the gym in Viridian City and the wide area around it, but the earth trembled underneath, disturbed by the touch from a tremendous psychic force that it wasn't used to feeling. It unnerved pokemon for miles, sending them into screaming panic. It certainly attracted the attention of those who felt it.

Suicune couldn't go any further. His body had given up on him and let him collapse in a gutter, on the outskirts of Viridian City. Why couldn't he get up? He didn't understand, he had to go, he had to run. They would catch him if he didn't get away. It was so simple, all he had to do was push himself to his feet and run. He'd done it thousands of times before. Maybe he just needed a push. Suicune flopped on his belly, a shooting pain running through his limbs and he couldn't do anything but pant for minutes after.

He twisted his head, his neck flopping on the pavement. There was a lot of blood. His legs were sticking out at angles that didn't look right. Oh, well. It was as good a place to die as any. At least he was outside.

The streetlamps had turned on, but the sky was only gray. Suicune was fascinated. He hadn't seen the sky in a long, long time. It used to be blue, like him, and white. Lots of colors he couldn't remember. Apparently things had changed since. He didn't mind this new color, though. This gray felt good in the sky. Grey had been everywhere in his prison, but this grey seemed dirtier, more comfortable, not sterilized and empty. He heard a loud noise and the air shook. Maybe someone else's prison had been destroyed.

Something fell on him. A tiny, wet drop quickly soaked up by his dry fur. It startled him. Where had it come from? Another, splashed on his crest. He closed his eyes, shuddering with pleasure. Oh, that felt good. He wanted more. Like something had read his mind, he felt more drops fall on him. The air was turning, dampening. His nose ached, not used to being filled with such a strong, earthy scent. More fell, on him, on the pavement. He wanted to cry, but he was too dehydrated. He remembered now. He giggled instead.

"Rain, rain, go away," he sang, rolling onto his back. "Come again some other day. All Jessie wants to do is play. Rain, rain go away."

Another loud noise. Suicune's damp fur bristled as he felt the air shift. Oh, this was familiar to. He saw traces of white for a moment in the sky. The light made his eyes tingle. For some reason, he felt a twinge of fear. It made him nervous. Why, though. Could it hurt him? He didn't like the noise it made. If it touched him, it would be violent and he could snap in half. He curled up. If he was small, then maybe it wouldn't notice him. He wasn't small, anymore. He could feel his body, big and clumsy and heavy. The rain wouldn't protect him. That was right, he couldn't depend on water anymore. It hated him.

He shuddered, too cold. He hated the rain. The foreign feeling of sky running down his fur and forming a puddle under his belly, mixing with his own blood. It felt so strange, and he didn't know if he liked it or not. He wanted to find something to hide under, but he was just too tired and it hurt too much when he moved. What was that?

It was getting closer. Suicune shivered and managed to whimper. Please. He wanted to die, he wanted to go away before it got to him. Anything was better than being torn apart by the storm. He wasn't ready. He would rather have a human run up and cut his heart out before anything else could happen.

Something crackled in the air. He could feel it close, tingling on the tips of his own fur. It was slowing down, breathing the rain. This was it. Ready or not, this was it. Him, in the gutter, the hellish rain mercilessly pounding at his body, trying to drown him. But water pokemon don't drown. Even if they can't fight. Maybe he could try holding his breath and asphyxiating himself. It didn't work, his heart was pounding too heavily and he had no control over himself. Fearfully, he opened his red eyes.

He was staring into the face of a god.

Black. This was worse than the humans. He missed the walls. He knew his boundaries. Now, there was nothing but empty space that stretched forever around him. He could walk, sink, float, it didn't matter. There was nothing to find, nowhere to go to. Was this death? Had he finally found it? Somehow, he thought he would know when it happened. He was dying, he could smell it on his own skin, that familiar rot. He could smell death on corpses, but it wasn't on himself. He bit his own paw. Blood. Nope. Not dead.

Damn.

Suicune whipped his head around. A smell. He smelled something that wasn't his. His head spun. How could he be dizzy when there was nothing to see but black? Wait.

"Oh."

The white cat stopped playing with whatever it was that it had and turned to focus those large, blue eyes on him. Blue like the sky used to be. Bluer than him.

"This is all your fault," he told it.

It simply stared at him. Boy, girl, Suicune couldn't tell which. It seemed it could be both, but when he shook his head to clear it he decided not at the same time. Its ears twitched and it turned over in the air, its long tail trailing after it. It stayed upside down.

I know.

Everything had changed when Suicune woke up. Someone had gone and turned the world inside out before they put him back in it. There was only one thing that was even remotely human around and that was him. He scrambled up, shaking as he felt his sore limbs groan. Oh, hey, that felt weird. He cracked his neck. He had turned to jelly, like a Ditto, but he was still crunchy on the inside. Oooh, it hurt to move but he was sick of sleeping. He'd been sleeping for a long time, but he couldn't remember any of it. There was so much of everything, suddenly. He'd been surrounded by nothing for so long, nothing but humans and their empty metal, and now…dirt! Stone! Ash! Leaves! Straw! He had a bed! He had been sleeping in a bed! Suicune looked down at his paws. One, two, three, four. There were teeth marks all up and down his legs. He'd been using himself as a chew toy, those rubber things the humans had given him and made funny noises when he tore them up. He bit himself again, felt the pain. Still alive. He didn't squeak.

He wasn't alone.

Oh, no. Suicune quickly backed up, slipping over the leaves and straw at his feet, noticing the huge mountain of fur and teeth that was lying down a few ways away from him. Two small, black eyes glittered behind a red and yellow face shaped like a star. A titan, a monster, this thing could blot out the sun. Hell, it was the sun. Ash and fire, it radiated heat. It was a mountain filled with lava, sluggish and sleepy, but ready to explode at the slightest tremor in the earth. A volcano, fire, fire, fire, oh no. He hadn't felt fire in a long, long time. This was worse than the sun. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Brimstone and hell, he didn't want to remember, but it was coming. It spoke, and the earth shook. The cave shuddered and rocks fell from the sky. I don't need any of your goddamn Dratini. Suicune closed his eyes and sank into the wall. He didn't want to remember, so he just fainted instead.

The sun had shifted and its light was now shining right into the cave. Entei could feel the heat settle on his fur and he felt a little warmer. He'd gotten too used to the volcano. The sweltering jungle felt cool to him during the day, chilly at night. Swimming in the lava was only when he could truly feel hot, and only diving deep into its heart could he feel a little discomfort from the heat. Only once had he dove deep enough to where the heat was unbearable, just to see what it was like. It had been a slow day.

Now every day was slow, waiting for Suicune to recover. His wounds were almost closed now, and he still had a lot of bruises to heal and fur to grow back in. Entei was sure he wouldn't be able to walk very well for a few months. It was troubling, though, it seemed Suicune had much more to recover, and Entei wasn't sure if he could fix that.

Entei had the feeling that he wasn't being followed. He slowly continued to lumber out of the cave, keeping his head low to avoid scraping the roof, until he had shuffled completely into the bright sunlight. He slowly turned around. He blinked, and stared at the dark shadow cowering in the cave.

"Come," he said.

The shadow shuddered. He still couldn't handle the sound of Entei's voice very well. Entei heard the his brother take a few heavy breaths.

"I don't want to," said a voice, weakly, in the human language.

Entei paused.

"You told me you were hungry," he said, trying to sound calm and rational.

Another pant.

"I don't want to."

Entei patiently waited for Suicune's heavy breathing to slow down.

"I want to stay here," he said.

"I thought you wanted food."

There was a long pause. Suicune did nothing but breathe, and Entei waited before he spoke.

"If you stay here, you will get no food."

Suicune shook his head.

"I don't want to go," he said. "I don't want to leave the cave."

"There is no food in the cave," Entei said.

"That's why I'm hungry," Suicune said.

"To get food, you must come with me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Entei didn't speak for a moment.

"You want food," he said. "There is no food in the cave, but there is food out here. Thus, you want to come out here. Thus, you want to leave the cave."

"But I don't want to leave the cave. Thus, screw you."

Entei would have sighed, were he one to verbally express feelings such as frustration, which was something Entei rarely felt. He could easily wait outside for days until Suicune really was starving, and would finally crawl out just to stop his growling stomach. That is, considering Suicune still cared whether or not his own body wasted away to nothing. Entei hoped it wouldn't get to that. Suicune barely had enough substance on his bones to keep himself upright.

Raikou wasn't as patient.

Entei did nothing to stop her from storming past him into the cave, the tip of her tail sparking a little from her annoyance. Raikou had been avoiding Suicune up until now, since Suicune was so frightened of her. Raikou told Entei that when she found Suicune half dead on the outskirts of Viridian City, after feeling a tremor that had apparently destroyed a few important buildings to the humans, he had started screaming when he saw her and didn't stop until he fainted. Raikou hadn't given him many details, so Entei didn't know exactly what had happened before she dragged Suicune's unconscious body to him. She hadn't wanted to talk about it, and Entei was never one to insist on more conversation.

There was no doubt, however, that Suicune was terrified of her. He whimpered when he noticed Raikou approaching and tried to crawl back. Raikou, however, was stronger and well nourished. It didn't take much effort on her part to sink her teeth into the nape of his neck and drag him into the bright sunlight.

"No, no, no," Suicune whined, clawing in vain at the dirt. "Don't touch me…please let go of me…please, it hurts…"

With a toss of her head, Raikou yanked Suicune away from the cave, in front of Entei's mountainous body. Entei silently looked down at the pokemon. Suicune gave him an ugly glance, tucked both his tails down, and shuffled obediently after Raikou, mumbling to himself.

"Goddamn stinking animals always running up my chain and getting under my skin I swear I'll turn your hide inside out and use it as a doormat…"

Entei kept an eye on Suicune, slowly lumbering behind while Raikou boldly strode ahead. She soon disappeared, Suicune, barely able to walk in a straight line, unable to run. Entei had been hoping that Suicune would look a little better in the sunlight. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The shadows in the cave had kept Suicune's gaunt body covered, and the world had been better for it. His colors were so gray, surrounded by the bright, horrible, wonderfully alive jungle. Suicune sniffed around the trees, then relieved himself. Entei saw blood, which made him worry. Raikou returned, a squirming Rattata screaming in her large jaws. She dropped it, pinning it to the ground with her paws.

"Right, Suicune," she growled. "Here you go. Think you can kill it?"

Suicune took one look at the terrified rat, barely bigger than even his small paw.

"No."

"You said you were hungry," Raikou said impatiently. "What, you want me to kill it for you?"

Suicune ignored her. He sulked, crawling off into the bushes. Raikou gave Entei a look, then lowered her head and broke the Rattata's neck with a quick snap of her jaw, silencing the frantic squeaks. She left the corpse and ran off to find something for herself.

Suicune spent a long time pouting before he finally stood up and ate some Persim berries. Raikou came back, smelling like a Tauros, and sat down next to Entei, remarkably calmer.

"You know," she said. "He looks like hell."

Entei didn't have to say anything out loud for Raikou to know he agreed. At least Suicune was eating something. Later, he was retching all afternoon, but he wasn't complaining anymore and the next day it wouldn't be so hard to coax him outside.

It was going to be a bad day.

"STOP TRYING TO KILL THE STONES!" Suicune bawled.

"I'm not touching your stones!" Raikou snapped.

Entei fidgeted. Outside, the rain pounded on the roof of the cave. He hated the rain. He was trapped in the cave, with Raikou, and Suicune, who was having a bad day.

"Yes you are your ugly body is all over them!" Suicune moaned, shoving his face into the wall. "I can't watch you, you're so ugly, keep your guts inside your goddamn skin, why don'tcha?"

Raikou yawned.

"Don't DO that!" Suicune screamed, throwing himself over the ground, spilling the odd pile of rocks he had pried from the cave walls and spent the past week rearranging into different kinds of circles. "I told you not to kill them!"

"You bloody psychopath, I'm not even near your stones. Look, I'm all the way over here…"

"Don't even try to trick me, I know you, you and your ESP, don't think I can't see your brain spilled out all over the ground like spaghetti!"

"Suicune, if you don't either shut up or start making sense I swear I will rip your throat out, okay?"

Suicune curled up in his straw bed, his two tails jerking and twitching uncontrollably. Suicune's jaw was trembling, and outside the rain continued to fall. Entei listened to it, beating on the ground and splashing down leaves. He hoped there would be no thunder.

"Stop it, stop it, I want it to stop, I hate it, I hate it…"

The two tails looked like they would yank themselves right off of Suicune's body.

"…hate it STOP IT!"

Suicune was up and slamming his face into the wall. Before Raikou could even blink Entei was on his feet and dragging Suicune into the middle of the cave. Entei could sense Raikou's startled look. He never moved that fast. Entei sat on top of Suicune, covering his brother's face with a heavy paw. Suicune wheezed and chattered on, shaking as the rain continued to pour. He settled down, muttering under his breath and occasionally his body would jerk, but Entei was a mountain. He wouldn't move again until long after the storm had passed. He didn't need to.

It was just going to be one of those bad days.

"Suicune!" Raikou was the only one alive who had the means to make herself heard while standing under a raging waterfall. "Stop being a brat and get in here!"

Normally, Entei could sympathize with not wanting to get wet. He bathed in a volcano, after all, but he was a fire-type and Suicune was water. First the rain, and now this. There were certain things that Entei counted on. Little rules that were written in something more solid than stone, more constant that the changes in the sky. Things he could depend on. Water doused fire. Fire would not burn him. Lightning hurt everything but stone and the ground.

Water pokemon were not be afraid to swim.

"No, thanks," Suicune said dryly, leaning over to gnaw on the melon rind.

Raikou was not in the mood. She left the pounding curtain of water and swam to the shore of the river, climbing onto the muddy banks. Suicune could see her coming. He didn't even try to run. Entei wondered if he would ever be healthy again, or at least healthy enough to run for a minute without choking up half of his lungs.

"Just leave me alone!"

"No! You need a bath!"

"I do not!"

Raikou latched onto Suicune's neck.

"Ow!" he howled as she effortlessly pulled him to the river. "You bitch!"

Raikou couldn't speak through the mouthful of Suicune she had. Suicune continued to shout and scream human profanity, growing increasingly more distressed the closer he came to the river. There were long gashes in the dirt and grass from where his weak paws had stubbornly clung to the ground.

"I'M GOING TO DIE!"

With a toss of her neck, Suicune was in the air and falling into the river. A loud splash and Suicune was silenced due to being completely underwater. Raikou cracked her jaw and gave a satisfied grunt.

Entei and Raikou stared at the river, the silence filled only by the hollow roar of the waterfall. Seconds ticked by.

Raikou ran and dove into the river. Entei waited. She was underwater for much longer than he expected her to be. She surfaced far downstream, gasping, spluttering, fuming. Entei stood up. Raikou took another gulp and dove underwater again. He padded to the edge, but before he could work up the guts to jump in himself, Suicune finally reached the surface, his head held above the water by Raikou, who was pushing him to the shore.

"Never again, never again…" Suicune muttered as Entei helped Raikou pull him up to the solid ground. He was trembling so violently Entei thought he was going to fall apart. "All over me, squirming, shoving their way inside me. Never again, going to rip me apart. Don't make me do it again."

Raikou was gasping, trying to control her breath. Soaked, she looked worse than Suicune, considering.

"Water pokemon don't drown, Raikou," Entei rumbled.

Raikou just looked at him. She stood up.

"Make sure he has something to eat later."

Entei nodded and watched Raikou run away.

Soft rain, a mist, covering the morning. Footsteps shuffling in the dirt. There was blood in the air, clinging to mildew.

"Entei?"

He rolled one eye open, grunting, recognizing Raikou's stripes. She smelled of blood and sweat and crisp, burning flesh. Fresh from the hunt, it worried him because that was what she did when she was out of control. At the same time he loved it when she smelled like that. He didn't know why.

"How is he?"

"Sleeping," Entei grunted, lifting his head so he could look at Suicune, his thin body pressed up against his.

"I came back when it started raining."

"It's not heavy enough for him to feel it. It's so soft he can ignore it if he wants."

Raikou made a small noise Entei barely caught. He always heard things, better than she and Suicune did, the same way Suicune could smell better and Raikou could see for miles. Relief.

"You should rest for a bit," he told her.

Raikou shook her head.

"No, I'm messy. I'm going to wash off."

"I don't mind. You shouldn't be going for a week without sleep."

Raikou scowled.

"My sleeping habits shouldn't matter," she said, but she stepped closer to Entei and stretched out beside him. He heard her sigh and press her cold body up to his hot fur. It only took a few moments for her breathing to even out and she was asleep, her shoulders rising and falling. Entei watched her, noticing how her strips stretched with her limbs as she breathed. He felt Suicune stirring on his other side.

"Raikou's home," he mumbled.

Unlike how he was with Raikou, Entei felt he needed to reply when Suicune spoke to him. "Yes."

"She hates me."

Entei wanted to just grunt and leave it, but there was that nagging need to say something. "No."

"It's okay. I hate her."

"That's fine," Raikou suddenly snapped.

Entei heard Suicune shudder, then curl up around himself. Raikou sighed.

"Look, I know it's not your fault you're so messed up," she said. "I never liked you, even when we were kids, but I'll fix you. I don't know why, exactly, and I don't like it, but I'll do it."

Suicune didn't say anything at first. The only sound was the Caterpie chirping outside as they crawled into the morning.

"Well, you're the one who smells like shit now."

Suicune lowered his head and went back to sleep. Raikou huffed and stood up, leaving Entei with an empty, cold spot by his other side, much to his annoyance.

One.

One fish.

Suicune rolled onto his side, his belly facing the warm sun. Some days he forgot how to walk. Other days he was moving around in what passed for a slow run. The breeze frightened him. He didn't like feeling out of control, it made him feel unstable. Even though that was what he was now.

One fish, two fish.

He hated the water. Swimming was worse than running. Completely surrounded by a rushing stream pressing in on him from all sides, carrying his body, too small to touch the bottom, whatever way it wanted.

One fish. One.

Suicune shuddered. He used to swim. He used to live in the water. He had been made of water. He was so empty now. There was nothing to keep him buoyed, no weight to guide him through the currents. He was just an empty shell, floating helplessly to wherever the current wanted to go. His body had grown. He was an adult now, but he hadn't grown with it. He hadn't filled it up. Nothing but blood sluggishly sloshing through his veins, snaking around his skinny legs.

Two.

He didn't have Raikou's muscles or Entei's steady power. He was a mess of skin and bones stitched together to hold in a bunch of nothing called Suicune.

One, two, no matter how many fish swam by, none would ever look like him. He was supposed to be a god, a creature of disturbing power and grace, but he couldn't. Not when he couldn't feel the earth. The rain threatened to tear his mind apart with each drop pounding him into a shattered oblivion where he wouldn't be able to do anything but scream nonsense in a language he shouldn't be speaking. The river never spoke to him, it just babbled on in a language he would never understand again.

Don't think about it. It doesn't matter. One fish, two, just keep finding distractions until death comes.

Sitting by the river, too quiet, not busy enough, he could feel it, deep inside him. Steady, beating rhythms beyond the beat of his own weak heart, he could feel some forgotten force trying to steel a grip around him. Feeling it made his pulse quicken. He wasn't ready. It wanted to do something to him, but he didn't want it. He wasn't a god, he was barely a pokemon. He was a toy for humans, an empty shell that ate fruit and argued with other barely-made gods.

One fish, two fish, maybe running wasn't so bad after all.

He was getting better. That was what she thought. He didn't talk to himself much anymore, and hadn't tried to throw himself against a wall while screaming nonsense in a while, though maybe that was just because the rainy season was over. He ate when he was hungry, took a bath when she pushed him into a shallow hot spring, played with Entei, and slept when he wasn't doing anything else. He was still skinny, but he had at least filled out enough so that his bones didn't look like they were ready to burst through his skin. He didn't go with her on hunts, or join in Entei's play-fighting when she was involved, but that was okay because she didn't want to hurt him either and they didn't really need to be getting chummy with each other. She thought he had reached something that could be passed for normal.

It was fine, until one day Raikou couldn't find Suicune. Even though he was insane, even though he couldn't hunt, couldn't swim, and hadn't ever lost that cough in his lungs that he'd had since he was a baby beating up Gyarados and taking his first breath underwater, he could still run faster than she or Entei ever could.

He should learn not to follow flying pink things, especially if they smell like they should've died long, long ago. It's never good to touch dead bodies, to be the scavenger picking at corpses buzzing with flies. He shouldn't swear at the moon or piss on the Unown in the temple's walls. He shouldn't still be alive. He should go back to the humans, because when he was with them he didn't feel the steady thump, thump of his blood as it coursed through his veins. He was too much of a coward, pain frightened him, so now he was stuck, running through a naked world because if he ran fast enough, maybe it wouldn't notice him as he passed by.

He didn't want to give that horrible pulse inside him time to catch up and make him look.

He didn't follow a flying pink cat, but he still ran back to her, him, it. The roaring beast he had given all his self to once upon a time ago, when he was young and the name Suicune had something to label instead of nothing. Gods, how he hated the moon. The moon was a god. Perfectly round, glowing white to hide its blemishes, the powerful forces of the tides at its beck and call. He didn't stand a chance. He could barely stand. Running on an empty stomach, pushing at bleeding lungs, he left himself wheezing in the muddy sand as waves splashed at his paws. He'd never catch his breath in the air again.

Thunder rumbled in the gray sky and he flinched, shuddering as he felt the clouds shift. He was going to loose again. It was going to rain soon, and he would be seeing things that weren't there and belting out the broken fragments of speech that formed a train wreck in his mind. If he went back to her, sank deep into her salt water, he wouldn't feel the rain. He would breathe without coughing. His pulse and that horrible, ugly, thump, thump, thumping in his veins would be replaced by the rise and fall of her, his, its tides. He would be her slave, and she answered to the moon. He would serve a god and no longer have to try and be one.

He crawled, he couldn't stand. Thunder clapped overhead, made the air shake and his lungs clench in his chest. On his belly, salt stinging his eyes as the waves washed over his body. The waves were erasing him, pushing all that was built around Suicune back to the shore. His eardrums hurt as another beat of thunder pounded the air, blood flicking from his mouth as he coughed. There would be nothing left but Suicune, surrendering to his element, forever drifting in her, his, its belly. This time, he would be careful, and she wouldn't need to regurgitate him on some faraway shore.

"SUICUNE!"

Lightning struck and he was fried, flung with the sand and sizzling drops of salt. He landed hard on his back, just before another wave crashed on the shore.

It wasn't fair. He was so close. He was shaking again, maybe from the rain that was about to fall, maybe from his cough, maybe from the chill he felt even though the air was warm and muggy. Storm air. He hated her so much. She did nothing but get in his way, push him to things he didn't want.

"Suicune!"

Gods, how he hated his name. A name meant that he was someone. With a name he couldn't disappear. He was tied down to it, he was solid. Another wave, and he swallowed the water. More. He crawled.

"What are you doing? Suicune, stop!"

It didn't matter to the ocean if he was stupid, if he couldn't fight a battle to save his life. She had another warrior of the sea, the beast who had almost killed him. She had her god, the moon in the sky. She didn't have to acknowledge him and his faults because he would give himself to her, become part of her. He was hers to do with as she pleased. He'd wipe himself clean and let her waves beat him smooth like a shell, perfect for engraving her own plan on. He wanted to be part of her. He didn't want to feel.

"Suicune STOP IT!"

This time, he was ready. He leapt in the air and dove out of the way before her bolt of lightning could strike him. It smacked the ocean, sending sand flying, but not him. He landed on his feet, his back to the ocean, facing her.

If Raikou wasn't a god, she was doing a very good job of compensating. Crackling with energy in the gray green air, eyes blazing, she stood rooted to the earth. Suicune's eyes swam and the long, black stripes running over her thick muscles looked like gashes. She bled rain and spoke thunder. He didn't have to speak to her. She, a god, and he so close to being swallowed by his. Walking backwards was easy. The water was like shackles around his ankles. Thump…thump…thump…

"Look, you can fool Entei, but I know you're doing something stupid."

Thump, thump. He could feel it, and it scared him. She needed to shut up. If he felt again, he would get hurt.

"What do you think you're going to do? Go swimming in those waves?"

Who did she think she was, trying to pull him back into a world that just wanted from him, and he had nothing to give.

"If there ever was a water pokemon who figured out how to drown, you'd be the one to do it."

He turned away.

"Suicune say something! I don't care if I don't know what you're talking about just STOP IT!"

She was suddenly flying and he fell, slipping down and out, like he was the one made of lightning. His jaw unhinged and he didn't know he was biting until he tasted her blood. She was frozen for a minute as he chewed. This was the first time he had bitten her since they were babies. She snapped right back, hitting old bruises and whining in surprise as he twisted her leg. He lunged and tore, jumping and flying with the strength he couldn't wield and she fought back, dragging him through the sand and slipping in the waves.

He slammed into her and she cracked her head on the rocks, howling in pain as lightning tore at the gray sky. Suicune stepped back, wheezing, coughing, covered in so much blood. It was okay. She, he, it would make him better. All he had to do, all he wanted, was to give himself to her, and she would wash the blood off. She would wash him away and all that would be left was him, stripped to the core, ready to serve her.

He stepped off the rocks, feeling the pain numbing itself.

"Suicune…"

He winced, taking another step away. She wanted him to stay, but he couldn't. She knew how broken he was, how messed up, and she still wanted him to be a god.

"Suicune…"

So close. He lay down in the waves, feeling the weight of the ocean rush over him. The moon watched, somewhere, behind the clouds.

"I don't care."

Her voice was broken. He raised his head and looked. Her face covered with a slick red, black eyes glittering, slumped on the rocks. She was looking at him. Just him.

"Suicune, please."

He stood up. He felt the salt water stinging his wounds, running with the blood and dripping off him. It was so hard, but he took a step toward her and the ocean pulled away. He hated her so much. It wouldn't be okay once he returned. He still wouldn't be able to fight. He would babble nonsense to people who weren't there and pound his head against walls to try and make the rain stop. And she still wanted him. Him, even though he wasn't the moon.

He sat down in front of her and cried.

"Baby steps, that's what they're called," Raikou said.

One morning, inexplicably, Suicune ran right out of the cave and jumped into the river. He screamed and cried and was mercilessly pushed miles downstream by the current, they had to spend the entire morning chasing him down and pulling him out, but he kept his head above the water. The next morning, he did it again, this time making sure he had a good grip on the riverbank. He still couldn't swim and the rain still drove him crazy, but if Entei pinned him down he could lie there for hours, listening to it. He learned how to cling to Raikou and use her to keep himself afloat. Raikou was still waiting for when he could let go and be in control.

One day, Suicune ran down a Tauros for them and managed to drag it halfway by himself before Entei got worried and found him, covered in blood. Suicune spent the night retching behind the cave after he tried to swallow a tiny bite, but Raikou and Entei ate every bit of what he couldn't.

One day he wouldn't stop biting himself. Entei wrestled him, trying to get him to bite his thick coat instead. Suicune spent the rest of the month cowering and hiding, refusing to go out in the open until Raikou coaxed him with fruit. Then he just got hungry and found that chewing on a watermelon rind was enough.

One night, he couldn't sleep. Entei had gone out for a long hunt, so Raikou just kicked him out of the cave so she couldn't get some sleep. She found herself running when she heard him jump off the waterfall. He landed in the stream, and he swam, swearing at her in the human language. Entei returned and watched them swim while he digested a bad Snorlax.

Some days it was like watching paint dry, or a Metapod who wasn't ready to evolve. Other days, they wondered at how much Suicune had changed. He was skinny and forever stunted. His muscles would never show under his skin. He still coughed from a childhood illness he would never shake. The rain made him quiet and harder to control. He had lost his natural tongue and wouldn't talk like anything but a human. He only hunted bugs and ate things that grew from the ground. There was a chunk missing from his crest, but the crest itself shone a healthy sea green. He could swim faster than Raikou could run, and won the races they had on land until he started coughing. He stopped looking so crazy all the time, and sometimes he would really look at them, his red eyes able to focus. Other times, they would loose him, but he always came back, and knowing that enough.

Sometimes Raikou thought about before, when it had just been her and Entei. He had been quieter then, and she had been wilder. Suicune had tamed them, somehow, like the humans were trying to work through him. She wasn't angry, though she wondered if she should be. Humans were everywhere, some even in the forest that they had ruled over since they were kids. Raikou would never be able to read Suicune, he would be a psychotic enigma until they died, but if she was sure of one thing, it was that if Suicune ever fell into their hands again, he would get lost, and if that happened, she wouldn't be able to get him back.

"On our own?" Suicune jumped up, shaking, like he did when he was excited. "Really? What would I do?"

"You'd find your own forest," Raikou explained. "Or a volcano, or any place you want that has pokemon and needs to be protected."

"I'd get to travel the world? I'll run forever and never stop! Goddamnit, all those forests and me, and I, I'd-I'll see them all and find one that was mine, all my own…"

Suicune's voice trailed off as he stared off into the empty space between him and the cave wall, completely forgetting his dinner. Raikou swelled a little, satisfied with how he'd taken her suggestion. She turned her head to face Entei, smirking a little, but didn't expect that he'd be the one to object.

"It's a bad idea," he said, giving her a heavy frown she didn't see too often.

"Why?" Raikou challenged. "Just for a year or so, then we'd all meet back here. A change of scenery would be good, not to mention the training, especially for him. He needs to grow up, just a little. He never did."

"He never will."

That was that for that night. It never ceased to amaze Raikou at how heated their arguments could be when they weren't even speaking. Even Suicune noticed the tension between them as one tedious week crawled past.

As it turned out, Entei ended up not having much say in the matter. Raikou had always been wary of the temples the Unown lived in, and Suicune was absolutely terrified of them. She was glad she was with them when it happened, because if Suicune had come back to the cave alone, screaming, telling her what had happened, she never would have believed him. Maybe. She couldn't be sure, because she had seen it. The Unown had peeled themselves from the old stone walls and started to orbit around Entei. Entei had insisted that they never attack the Unown, so Raikou and Suicune just watched as they started to glow and then, with a blinding flash of light that sent Suicune bolting, screaming at the top of his lungs, disappeared, and Raikou found herself short four-hundred and thirty seven pounds of fur, muscle, and fire.

Once he was gone, there was nothing to do about it except go and find him. They would cover twice as much ground if they split up, Raikou reasoned, and thus find him twice as fast. It would be for his own good, both of them. She went to find Suicune, who was panting for breath and coughing up blood. After washing his face off, she told him they were leaving. He eagerly followed her as they ran, sneaking past the human city that had crept up on the edge of what was once their forest. She found what looked like a good path, pointed Suicune in a general direction, and gave him a push. Suicune didn't even look back as he ran off, barking and howling loud enough to raise the dead, or at least wake the humans in the next town and any unfortunate pokemon sleeping in-between. She watched him until he was out of sight, then turned and went on her way.

Suicune found his old lover, and stood on the rocks, watching the sea. He knew she, he, it would never be his. Not completely. Not only did she have another lover, but there was another who loved her and had the power to resist her. Suicune could feel him, not the moon he hated, but the other monster who had almost killed him when he was young and still swam, flying underwater. It started to rain. Suicune shuddered, feeling a little part of him shrink inside, but that was all right now. He didn't mind. He looked back to the horizon, where out there, somewhere the flying whale who had almost killed him when he was young still swam, flying underwater. Suicune cocked his two tails and saluted him. He'd find another place, somewhere where he could teach himself how to heal properly and that had good food.

To the beast of the sea. May he live long and prosper and have many tiny babies who would call him daddy and grow up to be silver leviathans.

And Suicune watched, rain pelting his fur and caressing his skin. There was lightning in the sky and at his back. Fire hated the rain, but it fit in somewhere. Once upon a time, there was only water. Now there was him. And even though they made him raving mad, he liked storms.

What good is it to live

With nothing left to give

Forget, but not forgive

Not loving all you see

All the streets you're walking on

A thousand houses long

Well, that's where I belong

And you belong with me

Not swallowed in the sea

You belong with me

Not swallowed in the sea

You belong with me

Not swallowed in the sea