Author: Light-Eco-Sage PM
Uh... Jak, Co., and I watch rather famous movies. Ever wonder how the Jak cast would react to movies like "Shawshank Redemption" or "The Titanic" and others? Here's your chance to find out!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,759 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 01-10-05 - Published: 11-07-04 - id: 2126348
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter III: Brave Heart
ASHLEY: Okay, fun's over. Time to be serious…
DAXTER: That's a great joke!
JAK: You're on a freakin' sugar high! You can't be serious!
ASHLEY: Okay, how's this for serious? This movie has torture, attempted rape, and bloody battle scenes!
KEIRA: ::shivers:: That torture was creepy…
ASHLEY: Hey, Jak? What hurts worse? Having Dark Eco torture or having your intestines ripped out?
JAK: I don't know. I've never had my intestines ripped out.
DAXTER: Let's experiment!!!
JAK: O.o No thanks.
DAXTER: You're such a party-pooper…
JAK: We can find Erol and experiment on him…
JAK: Wow! He screamed a lot!
ASHLEY: So, what's the answer to my question?
JAK: Don't know. You killed him before we could try him out on the Machine. You were supposed to stop BEFORE you rip out all of his organs!!!
JAK: How in the name of the Precursors did you manage to pull his BRAIN out of his STOMACH?
ASHLEY: Maybe he let his stomach do the thinking?
KEIRA: The movie…
DAXTER: The Prince was GAY!
ASHLEY: Like Erol…
JAK: Can we please not talk about being gay…
DAXTER: That was funny when the Prince made his boyfriend his advisor, and then the King threw him out the window and the Prince was all like 'NOOOO!!!' And then he tried to kill his own father!!!
ASHLEY: ::singsong:: The Prince was gay! And so was Erol!
JAK: ::shouting:: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!
ASHLEY: Jeez, okay!
JAK: I didn't get the whole thing with the women though… Why did that dude what to marry that dudette in secret?
ASHLEY: What? Didn't you get that?
ASHLEY: Okay, I'll put it in a context that you'll understand. Say that you and Keira decide to get married…
ASHLEY: But some dude made a law that says that anyone would have bed rights to Keira on the wedding night…
JAK: I'd go Dark Jak and kill them.
ASHLEY: Yes, but these people can't go Dark like you can. So they'd just have to give in…
KEIRA: That's awful…
ASHLEY: And that dude didn't want to share his woman with another man, so he married her in secret. You see now?
JAK: Yeah, but I'd still kill anyone who tries ANYTHING with Keira! You'll die! DIE!!! MUGHAHAHAHAHAHA!
DAXTER: Watch out! Jak's gone psycho!!!
ASHLEY: Just don't go Dark Jak on us.
DARK JAK: Too late.
EVERYONE: AUGHH!! ::runs away::
DARK JAK: Hi! I'd just like to say that the battle scenes were the best! BLOOD AND GORE RULES!!! ::changes back::
JAK: Hey! Where is everybody? ::silence:: Haha! ::singing::
"The Chicken goes 'cluck cluck.'
The cow goes 'moo'
The piggy goes 'oink oink'
How 'bout you?
Gonna be an animal just like you!"
EVERYONE: ::comes back:: Okay, we're back!
DAXTER: What the heck were you singing?
JAK: The song from 'Kung Pow.' Let's watch that one next!