Author: Allaine PM
A short little fic that you'd never expect from someone like me. Try not to take it seriously.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 822 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11-10-04 - id: 2128725
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay, explanation time. Over at the KP Slash Haven, we were making up captions to various screenshots from the show, and one of the pictures showed Kim holding a photo of Josh in one hand and giving someone off-camera a look, as if to say, "Are you kidding?" My caption is below:
Kim: THIS is who you want everyone to think we're fighting over?
Bonnie: Do you have a better idea? Because otherwise, people are going to start wondering why we're always the last two out of the girls' locker room.
While I've obviously never considered myself a fan or believer in Kim/Bonnie, and this isn't something I see myself spending additional time on, it did inspire the short additions below, which helped motivate me and get me back to work on my Kim/Shego stories. And since someone suggested I post these at FFN . . .
Of course, this is an AU, having absolutely nothing to do with my ongoing series.
Tara bolted out of the locker room and slammed the door behind her.
"What?" one of the other cheerleaders asked.
"I think we might need to start practice without them," Tara said.
"Well, I went to check on them - you know, to see what was taking so long? And I found them in the shower, naked. And Bonnie had her hands wrapped around Kim's throat, and she was banging her head against the floor!"
"Down on your knees, bitch!"
The scream trickled out of the vent at the bottom of the locker room door, and both girls jumped.
Then they looked at each other for a second.
"Josh Mankey," they said in unison.
"Shouldn't we, you know, try to stop them?"
"I'd like to keep all my fingers and toes, thank you very much," Tara replied as she moved away from the door. "I swear, you wouldn't think to look at him, but Josh must be some kind of stud. I'd go after him myself if I didn't think it'd get me killed."
"How's your head?"
"No big. That was some inspired acting on your part, by the way."
"I couldn't think of another logical explanation for why we'd be like this," Bonnie said.
"Well, I'd say you bought us some time."
"Then where we we?"
Kim grinned. "I believe you were saying something about getting on my knees?"
Bonnie's eyes sparkled. "Hey, it IS my turn, you know."
Josh watched Bonnie strut away. She put a little extra wiggle into her walk as she departed, tossing a wink over her shoulder.
He scratched his head. It was something he often did when an encounter with Bonnie or Kim ended.
They certainly seemed to like him a lot. They usually fawned over him, in fact. And yet there was something missing from their eyes. As if they were waiting for something to happen.
And what frequently happened was a "chance meeting" between the two girls fighting for his attention. Josh didn't believe it for a second. Come on - Kim just "happening" to go to the same movie as he and Bonnie? Bonnie just "happening" to be having dinner at the same restaurant as they? AGAIN?
It was almost as if Kim and Bonnie were choreographing their encounters.
He shrugged. For all he knew, they were. They hated each other so much, they seemed to enjoy the sparks that flew between them when they fought even more than their actual dates with him.
Still, there was no reason he should continue to be the pawn in their game of one-upsmanship. What was he getting out of it?
Josh was about to turn the corner when he heard Tara talking out of his line of sight. " . . . it was like they were actually trying to KILL each other. All for Josh Mankey."
Another girl's voice sighed. "God, he must be such a Romeo!"
"Don't get any ideas. There's a line of girls waiting for those two to get tired of him so they can make their move, and I'M first!"
Josh thought for a moment.
Well, maybe he could go out with Kim and Bonnie a few more times.
He strolled in the other direction and noted every look and smile so many girls threw his way.
Even Kim looked his way, but she was too preoccupied to actually see him. She was thinking about the note Bonnie had slipped her a minute ago.
Movie tonight. 7 PM. Try to ruin it before 8. I have plans for you.
She smiled. Like the look, it wasn't meant for Josh.