Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT. 'shakes fist in anger'

A Turtle and his Bo

Reminisce

Pushing the heavy sewer cover up, I quietly slid it across the pavement of the alleyway. After quickly darting my gaze back and forth to check for any unknown presences around me, I hopped up onto the ground and made a beeline for the fire escape attached to the building adjacent to me.

Clumsily climbing the stairs, I slipped on the slick steps from the morning frost and frustrated as I was, I continued on up to the roof. Upon reaching the top of the building, I walked doggedly to lean against the side of the roof. Feeling something solid underneath my hands, I collapsed…

I felt frustrated…what on earth was I to do now?

I felt hurt…somehow in my mind I knew that I wouldn't find sympathy from my brothers, even though my heart told me differently.

I felt angry…why had I even let it get broken in the first place?

I felt desperate…nothing can possibly help put back together the pieces I'm shattering into.

A lone tear wet my mask; it's cold touch brought me out of my reverie. I became aware of the bustling of the streets below with busy New Yorkers on their way to work.

Putting my face into my hands, I wearily struggled to clear my mind. There had to be a way to fix the awful situation I had just placed myself into…

Think, Don, think!

Hundreds of ideas flew through my mind, clattering and getting all mixed up. I couldn't handle all of the thoughts…there were just too many! The emotional and physical exhaustion of the past few days hit me like a ton of bricks, and I futilely attempted to rid my being of all of them.

Come on! Just clear your mind!

I can't…I can't do it…

The din and commotion of the streets below penetrated my thoughts.

Horns honking.

People shouting.

Tires screeching.

Engines running.

You're supposed to be able to think through these types of things! Focus!

I can't…

Step it up, Donnie! Why can't you even help yourself?

Stop it! I can't!

"I can't do it!" I shouted, my chest heaving as my breath came in harsh, ragged gasps. I felt drops of perspiration slide down my body. Entirely exhausted, I didn't even jump as I felt a clawed hand on my shoulder.

"My son, so weary and so troubled. Donatello, please, let me help you," murmured Master Splinter as he turned me to face him.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I stared hard out over the building tops at the sun as it peaked its way through clouds rising in the east. "I'm sorry, sensei. I'm so sorry…I never meant to lose it."

My sensei shook his head and sat down beside me on the cement. "Do not be sorry for things that you have no control over, my son. I understand your inner plight. It is not your fault, nor is there anything you can do to change the past."

I nodded. "I just feel…like…well, I don't know. So helpless…"

Splinter brought a hand to his chin, rubbing it, as he was lost in thought. "Yes, the loss of a personal item can leave one feeling empty and hollow with out it. All the same, your weapon is replaceable, and you are not, my son. I am merely grateful that you and your brothers are safe.

"I understand, sensei." We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments as I reflected what Splinter had just told me. Then remembering, I said, "I apologize for leaving morning practice so abruptly, Master Splinter. My behavior is inexcusable."

"Once again, do not worry upon the matter, Donatello. So long as it doesn't become a habit like Raphael's, you have little to be concerned about," Splinter answered.

With a slight chuckle, I replied, "All right. I think I can manage not to do that. But I was also thinking, sensei, how am I to get another bo staff?"

"This is what I have also been pondering upon as well, my son. Your first one I carved from a tree I happened upon in a far corner of the city, many years ago. As you may recall, it is also from this tree that I cut my walking staff," Splinter reminisced.

"Yes, I remember you telling me once…awhile back. Do you remember where the tree is?" I questioned, a hopeful look filling my gaze.

Splinter sadly shook his head. "No, my son. I am afraid not. My mind is not what it used to be. And I had happened upon the tree completely by accident…I do remember my encounter with it quite clearly though…"

---

Flashback (ten years previously)

Splinter ambled cautiously through the alleyways and across the streets during the twilight hours of the evening. He had already been gone for three hours from the lair, leaving his four sons alone as they slept.

So far he had been perfectly on schedule with their training. The rat was pleased that young pupils were exactly where he expected them to be in their training. He smiled softly at the thought of the small turtles. They had already grown much so veryquickly.

His latest lesson he had planned for them would be the introduction of their weapons—the weapons that they would come to wield and protect each other with for the rest of their lives. After carefully studying their developing tendencies and personalities, Splinter believed he had successfully selected the perfect weapon for each of his sons.

For Leonardo, twin katana blades…he had been secretly forging them for the past four months. While they might be a bit heavy yet for his eldest son, he knew he had the discipline required to learn how to master the beautiful weapons.

For Raphael, twin sais…knowing his son to be quick to anger and even quicker to strike, they would surely suit him.

For Michelangelo, whirling nunchukus…despite his difficulty concentrating, Splinter found his youngest son to have uncanny athletic abilities and thought it would be fitting for his son to take an interest in these weapons due to their…entertaining execution.

For Donatello, well…he had been difficult. As Splinter noted during training, his quiet son had little desire to learn ninjitsu like his brothers as he was more interested in taking apart all of the appliances in their kitchen. But, nonetheless, his son made an effort to learn and please him. Finally deciding the bo staff would be quite the match for him, Splinter had only one problem…he couldn't exactly forge something that was made of wood.

So here he was with his unpleasant dilemma. Splinter had been in and out of Central Park at least a dozen times, seeking a sturdy white oak tree. He had found a few candidates, but in his heart, he knew they were not the right ones.

Tired and cold, Splinter resigned his search for that evening, knowing he needed to return to the lair. The clouded skies above him crackled with thunder, and a light drizzle began to pour down on him matting down his fur.

Unaware of which direction he had been traveling in, Splinter raised his head to look around to regain his bearings. Right in front of his gaze, there was an open courtyard between two buildings that looked as if they had seen better days. Glancing about to see if anyone was nearby, Splinter found the coast to be clear, for most of the humans had taken cover from the slight downpour.

Stepping through puddles, he stood before it. A great looming white oak in the middle of the courtyard seemed to breathe with life as the rain spattered upon its leaves and branches. Placing a paw against the firm trunk, Splinter closed his eyes, silently searching.

Slowly opening his eyes, Splinter nodded to himself. Yes, this was the one. The one he would carve his own walking staff from, and more importantly, a bo staff for his son…his peaceful ninja.

End Flashback

---

Finishing his recount of his search for the "right" tree, Splinter glanced at Donatello. His son's eyes were closed, a slight smile playing upon his lips.

---

I sat thinking, with my eyes shut, lost in my own memories. That had been one of our happiest times I think…that one morning Splinter had surprised us with weapons of our very own. And the look I remember on sensei's face...I don't recall him every being so happy.

Returning to the present, I stood and offered a hand to my sensei. Splinter accepted it and raised himself off the ground.

"I'm going to find it, Master Splinter. I'm going to search for the tree…if it's all right with you, of course," I whispered, knowing he could still hear me, despite the noise of the streets below.

He solemnly nodded. "Of course, Donatello. Take whatever time you need. I believe you will find it, somewhere hiding in this city. And I also think it will do you some good to find some time away from your brothers…"

Stifling a laugh, I agreed. "Thank you for understanding, Master. I'll return as soon as I can."

After giving Master Splinter a slight bow, I turned in the other direction, nothing with me except something I had forgotten about in the past few days…hope.

Briefly gazing after my retreating back, Splinter murmured, "Be safe, and return with swiftness, my son."

TBC…

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A/N: Yea! Another chapter finished…and it didn't take me a month to update! So Donnie is off onto a quest now! We'll see if he finds what he's lookin' for… Once again, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! It means so much to me! Ja ne!