|Everybody Loves Faith
Author: mdc PM
Don't read this if you're serious. Cuz I'm not. Not really... ...Or AM I?Rated: Fiction T - English - Horror/Humor - Faith L. & Buffy S. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,168 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 02-27-05 - Published: 11-13-04 - id: 2132702
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Tis a sunny day in... you know... the place where Buffy lives.
It's a sunny day in Sunnydale!! Giggle. ...Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
So yeah, the sun is shining and the poor old ignorant shmucks are walking around town, buying the stuff they think they need to buy or else they'd be sent to hell.
Like Spitney Beer dolls or Oreo's or something.
Buy Oreo's or you WILL go to hell.
...Exact opposite for the Spitney dolls.
Anyways... So the old shmucks are buying stuff. Ooh! Or at work. Cuz old shmucks work. And they're all unaware that they're already IN hell!
And yeah, the hellmouth.
The young shmucks are walking around in the school halls. All very normal stuff in a seemingly normal town.
I say seemingly because this town is not normal at all. Oh, no.
Only has ONE Starbucks!
And a hellmouth.
And the hotness of Faith.
So obviously, it's a freaky town. ...
Well not obviously, cuz I just said it was seemingly normal.
But if you look hard enough, you'd see the abnormalities.
Like the hotness of the leather-clad brunette strutting around.
And yeah, yeah
The vampires and demons and basically evil stuff.
Okay, I'm not getting anywhere.
sunny day in Sunnydale....giggle
old shmucks, young shmucks
hotness of Faith
You with me so far?
So we got Faith. She's walking down the street.
Real casual but at the same time so very very hot.
And when you see her all kindsa contradicting odes fly through your unworthy head.
All you know is that the girl you just saw walking by is not like YOU or ANYONE else you have EVER seen in your shmuck-like life.
So, subconsciously or not, for the next few blocks, you walk in a strange daze.
You have just seen Faith. In the flesh. Interpret that as you will.
I'm thinking I should really get the story started now. I'm not promising anything but I'll try not to get side-tracked anymore.
She's walking in that way only she can, towards Sunnydale High.
Or, in her own words, Sunnyhell High.
See? She's witty too.
She's late for a Scooby meeting.
Because in MY world, the Scoobs aren't complete morons and they actually TELL her about these things.
She smirks as she thinks about Buffy. Oh yeah, she likes B.
She knows she shouldn't like her. It would totally kill her rep.
I mean sure, it's okay for Faith to 'bang' her or whatever.
But actually like Buffy Summers? Not in Faith's world.
She blames the weather for her strange behavior.
Goddamn sun. The world's gone to the shitter and it just keeps on shining like it's got nothing to do with it.
Damn you, you obese star, you!
As the library doors fly open, the music climaxes and there's a sudden gust of wind to give the most beautiful girl in the world a fitting entrance.
Naturally, everyone in the room stops what they're doing so they can admire her beauty and perhaps compliment her rather successful dramatic entrance.
There's no one IN the damn library for sobbing out loud.
... Or is there?
Dun dun DUN!!!
Cue Nerf Herder and the credits.
Starring: Eliza Dushku! Woohoo!!!
...And the others.
"Whew...Strange weather we've been having." A voice says.
Faith looks to her right, surprised.
"Giles! I didn't see you there. ...In the far right corner you're currently standing in. ... For dramatic purposes."
The watcher nervously smiles and shoots me an annoyed glance for making him look lurky and weird because I suck at writing.
"Why yes, I suppose that's obvious by the way you seemed... surprised and all." He coughs uncomfortably and walks towards the radio.
He turns off the freaky climatic music and note that he has NOT yet taken off his glasses to clean them.
"Right. Well where are the Slayerettes?" Faith asks.
More uncomfortable coughing is heard from the dark shadowy corner and Buffy, Willow and Xander step out from the shadows.
"Woah! I didn't see you guys in said corner either. I must not be a good slayer if I let myself get surprised so often."
The group gasps in shock at Faith's exclamation.
"Gasp!" Buffy... gasps. "That's impossible! You're probably just under an evil spell or something."
The coolest girl I ever did see (Faith), sits down, a worried frown upon her adorable face.
"I dunno, B... I'm just second-best anyway..."
Another gasp erupts from the others and Buffy crouches in front of Faith.
"Don't ever say that Faith! We're the chosen two, remember? You are not second best. You're the hottest girl I know and I love you but I'll never say that because I'm in denial and scared of rejection! But don't ever think you're not good enough! Because, even though your insecurities give you depth and make you look so impossible cute, it's not good for you!" The small blonde intently looks at Faith, desperately trying to convey the truth behind her words through her eyes.
Slowly, a small smile forms on Faiths lips and Buffy pulls her in a little too friendly hug.
"She's totally right, Faith." Willow nods. "It's a spell or something. We'll work on it right now."
"Hear, hear!" Xander exclaims as he sits down in research-position.
"Thanks, guys." Faith says. "Shit, if you were all assholes and didn't give me the support I so obviously need, I'd probably end up doing stupid crap as a cry for help and end up in jail or something."
... A silence comes over the library.
And then the gang burst out laughing at the silly notion of being assholes towards Faith.
You heard me.