AN "Blah"- Normal speech
'Blah'- Thoughts
"Blah"- Memories

Neon Genesis Evangelion
Rei Wonderland
Proof read by Katherine Hockey

Chapter 10: Mad Hatters Tea Party

Approaching the house, Rei spied a long, narrow table set under a majestic oak tree in the front garden. Eight straight-backed chairs, upholstered in crimson plush, encompassed the linen-draped table. Spread over the embroidered tablecloth was an assortment of mismatched tea caddies: porcelain teacups in every colour, on top of delicate saucers in varying shades of green and pink, hand-blown glass jugs of milk, dainty bowls of sugar, and an oversized teapot in the middle.

Lieutenant Makoto Hyuga sat in a chair, wearing a lime green frock jacket over the top of his bucolic beige uniform. A yellow bowtie with red polka dots was wrapped around his starched collar and the look was completed by a green top hat with In this Style 10/6 written on a piece of card stuck to it. Shigeru Aoba was across from him, in a scarlet smoking jacket and matching Arabian pantaloons, with brown rabbit-like ears poking out of the crown of his long hair. Curled in her sleep at the chair commonly reserved for the patriarch was Maya Ibuki. The image of a frightened animal was reinforced by the mouse's ears on the top of her head and the fuzzy grey-hued tail that poked out of her pleated skirt.

Aoba and Hyuga, sitting to either side of her, kept using her as a cushion or resting their elbows on her whilst talking to each over her head. I don't suppose that's too comfortable for her, Rei considered, then frowned. She's asleep. She probably cannot mind too much. Though it was quite a large table, the three of them had confined themselves to the corner at the head of the table. Rei approached them, perching in an arm chair at the head of the table.

This action, simple as it was, caught their attention.

"No room! No room!" the two men cried.

'Maya' stirred slightly to voice her opinion. "No room!" She flailed her arms a bit, then folded them on the table, drifting back to sleep.

Rei glanced about the table. As when she arrived, there was no one there besides herself and the three lieutenants. "I do not understand," She said softly, falling back on the cool logic that had never failed her, except for in this strange world. "There is no one else here, so there is plenty of room."

"So there is," 'Aoba' conceded after a quick look about. "Have some wine."

Rei was unsure about this – at fourteen years, she was, after all, underage. However, etiquette taught her that it would be rude to refuse. She glanced around at the array of items on the table, but couldn't find the bottle. "I do not see any."

"That is because there isn't any." 'Aoba' replied, causing 'Hyuga' to let out a small laugh.

"If there wasn't any, why did you offer me some? I believe it was a very rude thing for you to do." Rei's voice seemed to be in the usual passive tones; however, if one listened carefully he or she would have caught the slight note of annoyance.

"Well, it was rude of you to sit down without being invited." 'Aoba' replied, a snide note tainting his voice.

"This table is set many more people," Rei argued softly. "I was not aware that I would be intruding."

"Yes, well, your hair is most dull; you really ought to do something with it," said 'Hyuga', who had been staring at Rei with great interest for some time.

Rei's hand went reflexively to the back of her head, a subconscious reflex of all junior high girls. "It really was quite inappropriate for you to make such a remark." She responded, a slight blush now decorating her cheeks.

Hyuga stared at her, his eyes wide. What he said next, however, was far from what Rei had been expecting. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Rei stared at the man. "What did you just say?"

"I said, 'Why is a raven like a writing desk?' Come now, child, it is not that difficult to understand."

"I don't know." Rei replied, discreetly straightening her black bow. "I don't believe there is an answer."

"Do you mean you do not think there is an answer or you know there is no answer?" 'Aoba' piped up. "You should say what you mean."

"I do," Rei protested. "At least, I say what I mean; I believe they are the same thing."

"They are not in the least." 'Hyuga' said seriously. "You might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'."

"You might as well say that 'I like what I get' is the same is 'I get what I like'." 'Aoba' added.

Maya's drowsy voice joined the conversation. "You might as well say 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same as 'I sleep when I breathe'." She put in, before dropping off back to sleep again.

"It is the same thing as far as you're concerned." 'Hyuga' said, pouring the jug of milk over 'Maya's' head. This, however, did not disturb the sleeping woman, who merely started to snore. The three of them (four, if one was to count the sleeping Maya) sat in silence for some time.

After what seemed like an eternity, 'Hyuga' broke the silence "What day of the month is it?" He retrieved a pocket watch, painted with gilt, from his jacket, before looking at it and giving it a hard shake and pressing it to Rei's ear. The metal was cool against her skin.

"I believe it is the fourth." Rei replied.

"Two days wrong." 'Hyuga' sighed. He turned to 'Aoba' and waved the watch in his face. "I told you the butter wouldn't work."

"It was the best butter." 'Aoba' replied. "Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well. You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife." 'Hyuga' grumbled.

'Aoba' snatched the watch from 'Hyuga', and held it to his ear before dipping it into his cup of tea. He took it out and held it to his ear again. He didn't hear anything, so he dropped it on the table. "Useless." He declared with a sigh.

Rei picked the watch up and stared at it - instead of having proper numbers on its engraved face, there were the months of the year. "Why does your watch tell you what month it is and not the time?"

"Why shouldn't it?" 'Hyuga' replied. "Does your watch tell you what year it is?"

"I don't have a watch," Rei said. "However, the ones I've seen stay the same."

"Such is the case with mine." 'Hyuga' stated.

Rei decided that it would be best not to ask them questions, unless necessary for fear of her sanity. Or what little was left after all the bizarre events that had happened to her thus far.

'Hyuga' sighed and stole a glance at 'Maya'. "The Dormouse is asleep is asleep again."

'Aoba' poured the contents of his now cold tea over her head.

'Maya' jerked awake. "Yes, yes, yes. I agree completely!" She shook her head rapidly, beads of cold liquid coming loose from her hair. Much like a wet dog would, Rei noted.

'Hyuga' turned to Rei. "Have you figured out the answer yet?"

"To what?" Rei wanted to know.

"To my riddle."

"No, I don't know."

Maya smiled indulgently. "Oh, well; neither do I!" She confessed, and 'Hyuga' nodded.

"Or me." 'Aoba' confided.

Rei furrowed her brow, now more confused than when she had sat down. "Then why have asked me such a question when you know there is no answer? It's a complete waste of time."

To this, 'Hyuga' gave a snort. "If you knew time as well as I do, you would not speak of wasting it. It's him."

"Ah, but maybe she has beat time whilst learning music." 'Aoba' suggested with the air of a learned professor. This almost brought a smile from Rei, thinking of the Lieutenant Aoba she knew.

"That would account for it. He does not like to be beaten." 'Hyuga' explained. "But, if you keep on good terms with him, he would grant you any number of favours with clocks. For instance, it's nine o'clock in the morning and lessons have begun, just whisper a hint to time and round goes the clock, and in a giff, it's half one and dinner time."

"I only wish it was." 'Aoba' muttered to himself under his breath.

Just then a small growl emulated from Rei's stomach, causing her to blush.

"Oh! You hungry, my dear?" 'Hyuga' inquired, not waiting for her to respond before barreling onward. "Well, I'm afraid you'll have to wait, I'm sure you can going till half one."

"Is that how you manage it?"

'Hyuga' shook his head. "Not I. We quarrelled last march, just before he went mad, y'know." He said in a stage whisper, pointing his teaspoon at 'Aoba'. "It was at the Queen of Hearts and I had to sing." He cleared his throat, before launching into song:

Twinkle Twinkle little bat!

How I wonder what your at!

"You know this one one perhaps?"

Rei licked her bottom lip, her small front teeth soon followed. "I believe there is a song similar to it."

"Well, it goes on, y'know. Like this."

Up above the World you fly

Like a tea tray in the sky.

Twinkle, Twinkle...

It was at this that 'Maya' woke up. She began singing sleepily. "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..." She was quickly silenced when 'Aoba' poured another cup of cold tea over her head.

"Anyway, I had hardly finished the first verse when the Queen cries, 'He's murdering the time, off with his head!'" 'Hyuga' told the azure-haired girl.

"That is unfortunate." Rei replied, trying to muster up some sympathy.

"And from then on he won't do a thing I ask. Its always six o'clock now." 'Hyuga' slumped back helplessly in his uncomfortable, straight-backed chair.

The quartet lapsed into silence, 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' glaring at each other. 'Maya' went back to sleep. Rei sat there and stared at the group, before breaking the silence. "If there are only three of you, why are there so many tea things?"

"Weren't you listening?" 'Hyuga' snapped. "It's now always six o'clock, always tea time and we have no time to wash up between whiles."

"So you three just keep changing seats?"

"Exactly, as things get used up."

"But what will happen when you return to where you started?"

'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' looked at each other in confusion. It seemed to Rei as if they had never considered the idea.

"I don't like this conversation anymore." 'Aoba' said abruptly.

"Yes, let's change the subject. I vote that she tell us a story." 'Hyuga' pointed at Rei, then looked at her. "On second thought, no. She looks dull. Wake the Dormouse; she'll tell us one." The two of them began shaking 'Maya' until she stirred.

"Now tell us a story and be quick about it or you'll fall asleep again." 'Aoba' said strictly.

"Alright, erm, once upon a time, there were three sisters." 'Maya' began, voice coming in a harried rush. "And they all lived at the bottom of a well..."

"Why?" Rei interrupted.

"Why what?" 'Aoba' said.

"Why where they living in a well?" Rei asked.

"Because their mean father threw them down it when they were little." 'Maya' replied.

"What did they live on?" Rei asked. "There can't be a lot to eat living in a well."

'Maya' pondered for a moment. "Treacle," she proclaimed, with the air of a victor. "They lived on treacle."

"I imagine they would have been very ill." Rei murmured.

"So they were, very ill."

"Have some more tea." 'Aoba' said, placing a cup in front of Rei.

"I haven't had any yet, so it wouldn't be possible for me to have any more." Rei replied sensibly.

"Nonsense. You mean you can't take less; it's very easy to take more." 'Hyuga' said as he set a plate of bread and butter in front of her.

Rei wasn't sure how to respond. However, the situation was taken out of her hands when her stomach gave a small growl. Taking a piece of bread, she began to eat.

'Maya' began her story anew. "Anyway, the three of them lived at the bottom of a treacle well."

"I do believe there is no such thing." Rei said, before taking another bite from her piece of bread.

"Shhh." 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' pressed a finger to their lips, motioning for her to be quiet.

"Anyhow, at the same time, the sisters were learning to draw..." 'Maya' said before Rei interrupted her again.

"What did they draw?"

"Treacle." 'Maya' replied without a moment's hesitation.

"I do not understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?" Rei asked.

"Well, if you can draw water from a water well, logically you can draw treacle from a treacle well." 'Hyuga' said with 'Aoba' nodding in agreement.

"But if they were already in the well..." Rei began, before 'Maya' cut her off.

"Of course they were, well in."

Poor Rei was now more confused then ever but, rather then interrupt again, she let 'Maya' continue in hopes that her story would begin to make some sort of sense.

'Maya' yawned and rubbed her eyelids, feeling very sleepy. "And so, the three of them were learning to draw and they did all manner of things all beginning with M such as mouse-traps, the moon, and memory and muchness. You know you say things are 'much of a muchness' and did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?" 'Maya's' eyelids dropped closed, but however much 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' shook her, they could not rouse her.

Whilst this was going on, Rei decided that she had outstayed her welcome – not that she had felt very welcome to begin with. She quickly finished her bread and tea, and got up from her chair and walked away. She stole a glance back, only to see that 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' were dunking 'Maya's' head into the giant teapot. After that, she quickened her pace until she was a good distance into the forest. After walking for nearly ten minutes, the blue-haired girl came across a tree. It appeared that there was a door carved into the trunk. However, taken into account all she had endured today, Rei was not in the least surprised. She took a hold of the door handle, and made her way through it.

AN Finally Chapter 10's ready I know, I know its been a "while" since I uploaded anything. I could tell you I've been really busy but it would be a complete load, I just really couldn't be asked to anything I have done some work but its progressing at a painfully slow pase. Anyway chapter 10 is finally here which brings this story into the home stretch, I hope to get this finished by the end of the year. Enjoy the summer and till next time, Peace.