It Was You

Author's Note: First attempt at a Buffy fic, and it seemed to me that this was the best couple.

Disclaimer: If I owned Buffy I would have left Angel on the damn show.

Story Summary: Buffy thinks about the only man in her life that she knew she could count on, besides Angel that is. The Song belongs to Ashley Ballard and So Plush.

(On With The Story)

When I think of what I've been through
I can see that you've always been there for me.
To tell the truth (truth), don't know what I'd do
without you (you), half of my dreams would not come true.

(You are the one) that I have hoped for.
(Now my life) means so much more.
(Now we can be) together forever.
(Just you and me) Here for you, you're here for you.

It was you who showed me I got a friend in you.
I always knew that you'd be right here for me.
And it was you who stood with me when the skies are blue.
And it was you who stood by my side. It was you.

It Was You, By Ashley Ballard and So Plush

Buffy sighed as she looked out the window of her Italian apartment. Things had been going quite slow for her since the first. It wasn't that she was grateful for the break from slaying, it's just that she wasn't used to having so much free time on her hands. She hadn't had a life to herself since she was fourteen.

"You okay Buff," said a voice from the couch in her apartment.

Buffy turned around and smiled at the man on her couch. With his brown hair cut a little short and his brown eyes, she had to admit that her best friend was actually attractive. She just wished he didn't have to go through life with a patch over his eyes. It had been a year since the first attacked and she knew that he would never get the eye back and that it was all her fault.

"Yes Xander, I'm good," she said and sat down beside him.

"Alright then, because you need to be, you're the savior of the whole world Buffy. The Buffy everyone wants to me, and a Buffy that doesn't seem to happy," he said looking at her closely.

"It's not that I'm not happy, it's just I thought it would be different. I thought after we saved the world I'd be able to ride on that happiness for a year without aching for a battle. And I thought I'd date, I went on one day with the Immortal, turned out to be a big loser, and I haven't been on one since. I'm also the Buffy that got your eye poked out don't forget that Xander," Buffy told him.

"It's not your fault. I went into the battle knowing that it could be a trap, but I did it because I knew that it was either that or we would have been fighting the first for years," Xander told her. "I just wish Anya could have made it out of the last battle, maybe we could have worked things out."

"Xander, I'm so sorry, but she died saving someone," Buffy said trying to console him.

"Yeah, Andrew, sometimes I think it would have been better the other way around," Xander told her dryly.

"I have to admit, there have been times I thought that too, but hey, at least we got rid of him for a while when he went to L.A. Too bad he had to call us to come get that one Slayer," Buffy told him.

"I know," Xander said with a sigh.

"Listen Xander, I know how you feel, losing the one thing you loved above all else in a battle. I've gone through it too; he couldn't die, because well he was already dad. But we can't be around each other because it's not safe for us. So please, whatever you're feeling just tell me, because I'm there for you," Buffy told him.

"You sure you want to know what I'm thinking," he asked.

"Yes, I am," she told him.

"I'm thinking about how it's so unfair that we are the only ones to lose loved ones in that war. Wait, that's not true, I know Willow lost Tara, and that Giles lost Ms. Calendar, but at least they found other people. Granted that Giles never had a full relationship after Ms. Calendar, but Willow has Kennedy, what do we have," he asked her.

"We have each other," Buffy supplied.

"And look how that's going. Here we are, watching movies, at least supposed to be watching movies, but instead we're pining over the people we loved," Xander told her angrily.

"Xander, I know I told you to tell me how you feel, it's just I didn't realize you had so much anger pent up," Buffy said shocked.

The last time she saw Xander this mad was when she had turned him down for a date when they were sophomores. She had no idea that he was this angry over Anya's death. Then again, it was probably because of the fact that he had no one to talk about it with.

"I know, but come on, how is it that we're the only ones left without someone to love. Faith has Robin, and just recently I saw your sister go on a date with Angel's son," Xander told her.

"Angel has a son? Wait a minute, I forgot that part. Darla and him, can anything freak me out anymore," she asked him. "Two dead people having a kid has got to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard. I mean, how is it possible that they have a kid. They were dead, how did that happen?"

"Because it was a prophecy remember Buffy. The Prophecy made it magically possible, I still can't believe Angel had sex with the lady," Xander told her.

"Right, how do I keep forgetting that part," Buffy asked him.

"I'm glad Connor came to us and told us how Angel was doing though. You thinking he was evil wasn't doing you any good at all, kinda smart of him to be working from the inside to destroy the evil in L.A. wasn't it? Of course, he almost died in that last battle taking on a dragon," Xander told her.

"I can't believe he fell in love with Cordelia. I can't believe Cordy is dead," Buffy told him.

"She died in childbirth really. She had a kid that wasn't even hers and it killed her. I can't believe she allowed herself to become half demon, but that's a good thing, she would have died sooner if she hadn't," Xander said.

"Poor Cordy how is it everyone we know is dying," Buffy asked him softly.

"I don't know Buff, but I will tell you this, I will never ever leave you like that," Xander told her.

"I wish I could hold you to that promise, but I can't. Not in the life we live," she said and hugged him tightly.

"Buffy are you okay," he asked her.

"I just don't want to lose another person I love. I lost my mom, I lost Angel, I lost Riley. Cordelia is dead, and while we weren't the best of friends I cared about her. Oz is god knows where doing god knows what. Anya was a friend of mine and she's dead. I lost some of the Potentials. Also I lost more, it's just I've lost so much in my life that it's hard to remember, I don't want to lose anymore Xander, I just want it all to be gone. Once again I was to be a normal girl. I want to forget what it was like to be the slayer and start over," she said with tears in her eyes.

"I know Buffy, boy do I know," he said running his fingers through his hair.

Xander sat on the couch with his arms around her, holding her while she cried. He knew she deserved this good cry just as he had deserved to rant about love. Life had dealt them a cruel blow and it seemed worse than all others. Willow had been unlucky in love to, but she had at last found someone permanent. Dawn, while her dates had never worked out was now dating her sister's ex-boyfriends son. And he and Buffy had never had good luck in relationships and it seemed that they never would.

The only person, who ever really cared about him, besides Anya, was Buffy. Cordelia and him, while they had been close to love, had never reached that line. And Willow cared, but after junior year, it was more of a sisterly devotion rather than what he felt that Buffy and him shared. He had always been in love with Buffy and he felt he always would be, but it wasn't until this year that he felt as if Buffy saw him as more than a friend. More than likely it was because she actually had time to have a true boyfriend because of all the Slaying she wasn't doing.

Finally Buffy looked up at him with tear streaked eyes and managed a weak smile. Xander reached down and ran her fingers through her hair and smiled back at her.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah, I had to get that out of my system I guess," she told him staring at him still.

"Of course you did, we all do at one point or another, mine just comes out as anger, and yours as tears," he said as he traced her jaw with his finger tip.

Over the past year of living in Italy Xander's old feelings for Buffy had returned ten fold, and he didn't know what to do about it. He did however know what he was going to do at that exact moment.

Xander leaned down and kissed Buffy softly on the lips waiting to see what her reaction be; he was shocked when he felt her kissing him back hesitantly.

When he pulled back Buffy looked at him in shock.

"What was that for," she asked him.

"I'm sorry Buff, it's just that I couldn't help it," he told her.

"Why?"

Xander cleared his throat and looked at her. It was now or never.

"I love you Buffy, I always have and always will," Xander said.

Buffy stared at him so shocked that she couldn't speak. She'd known that Xander had feelings for her, but she didn't know he was in love her with. She almost said something before she remembered how she felt when she kissed him.

She never though of Xander in the romantic way, but surprisingly she felt herself being pulled towards him. It was then that she realized that over the years the only person she felt safe with was Xander. Angel she was in love with but after he turned evil in her junior year, she hadn't felt exactly safe. Xander she felt love for, she knew it, but it was just then that she realized that it was the type of love he probably felt for her too. Xander was the only constant man in her life and it was about time they got the chance to see where it would lead.

"I love you too," she said softly and kissed him again.

Xander happily wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. It was about time that they were with someone that they always knew would be there.

(End Story)

Author's Note: Sorry if that was terrible. First Buffy story ever. Hope you review.