|Mario's Christmas Carol
Author: Super Hyper Mario 128 III PM
It's a Mario twist on the Dickens classic! Merry Christmas, everybody!Rated: Fiction K - English - Parody/Spiritual - Wario & Mario - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,654 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12-24-04 - Published: 11-25-04 - Status: Complete - id: 2146514
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Yep. His bed sheets, on his bed, in his room. When Wario realized this, he immediately leaped out of bed and began dancing around joyously.
"YAHOO!!!" Wario yelled, "I'M ALIVE!!! And I swear I will be much nicer now! I'll make sure that that 'shadow' of the future will remain a shadow!"
He began trying to run everywhere at once, noticing areas where the spirits had visited him the night before.
"Hey! There's the bedpost that I busted when I tried to punch Pasty! And the sitting room where Waluigi sat with me and..."
As Wario ran into the sitting room, he slipped on a banana peal lying in the doorway. Rather than get upset, Wario got seemingly happier.
"It's one of the banana peals the Ghost of Christmas Present must have left behind! That means it was, without a doubt, all real!"
Wario then began to attempt to get ready for the day. It was hard, though. He was so happy, he hardly noticed that he was putting various articles of clothing on either inside-out, backwards, or upside-down.
"Hey, wait a second..." Wario mumbled, "I don't know what day it is! YIKES!!!"
Wario, realizing this, ran to his bedroom window, poked his head out, and, to his luck, one of the carolers that he had tried to blow up the day before was walking by outside. When Wario called to him, the still terrified toad ran and hid behind a tree, expecting to be blown into oblivion again.
"Woah! Hey, kid, relax!" Wario called out, "I'm not gonna try to blow you up again! I was... uh... in a bad mood that day, that's all! Speaking of which, what day is today?"
"Eh?" The caroler asked in confusion.
"WHAT DAY IS TODAY!?" Wario shouted, figuring the caroler couldn't hear him.
"Today? Why, it's Christmas Day! What, did you think you slept through the entire day, or something?"
"Actually..." Wario pondered to himself, thinking of the times he had slept over 24 hours, "Aw, it doesn't matter! The spirits managed to do it all in one night! Now, I have Christmas Day to make amends for... for... everything!"
"Um... Hello? Are you still there?"
"Oh! Yeah! I'm still here! Listen, do you know where the store where Tayce T. works at is?
"Actually, Tayce T. retired. Zess T. works there now."
"Uh, right... Anyway, did they sell the giant turkey hanging in the window yet?"
"You mean the one that is bigger then us toads? Nope! It's still there!"
The toad caroler immediately ducked as Wario threw a huge bag of money at him.
"Then go down there and buy it! And deliver it to Mario's place! If the turkey is too heavy to carry, take a cab, if you must! Oh, and keep the change!"
"Ok! Sure thing!" The caroler replied, grabbing the bag of money and running off, "Merry Christmas, Sir!"
"Oh, boy!" Wario mused to himself, "That thing is probably four times the size of Baby Mario! And Mario won't know who gave him that turkey! Won't he be in for a shock when he finds out I sent it to him!"
Wario glanced over at the wall clock and suddenly freaked out.
"YIKES! I JUST REMEMBERED! I TOLD MY EMPLOYEES THAT THEY HAD WORK TODAY!!! I GOTTA GET TO WARIOWARE, AND FAST!!!"
Grabbing two more bags of money, Wario raced out the door and into the streets, greeting everyone there with a big, cheesy grin and a "Merry Christmas!" On his way, he (almost literally) ran into the old goomba who had come into his office the day before with the koopa troopa trying to raise money for that "No Toad Left Behind" thing.
"Oh, no. Not you again..." The goomba grumbled, "Look, I think you made yourself clear yesterday that you don't want to offer any..."
He was cut off when Wario dropped one of the bags of money at his feet. After looking in the bag at how much was actually inside, the old goomba simply looked dumbfounded at Wario as he ran off saying "Merry Christmas!" to him just like everyone else.
Wario ran to the mall and did some really last-minute shopping before running over to WarioWare Inc. He put everything he had just bought in a box on the building's welcome mat and then nailed a notice to the front door (hard to do, considering it was a revolving door). Once he did this, he hid and watched as his workers sadly walked down the street and to the office.
"Aw, man..." Kat whined, "I can't believe we have to work on Christmas!"
"Tell me about it!" Mona continued, "Wario is such a jerk!"
"I don't mind having to work that much," 9-Volt mumbled, dejectedly holding a PSP in his hands, "what's really annoying is that my mom got me the wrong handheld! I wanted a DS, not a PSP! I swear, I've only been playing this thing since I left my house, which is only two blocks away, and already I'm getting a low battery warning!"
"Hey, guys, look!" Jimmy shouted, "There's a letter on the front door! And a box right under it!"
Curiosity got everyone to start running up to the entrance. Jimmy was the first to get there, so he pulled the note off the door and began reading it to himself.
"Well?" Dribble asked inpatiently, "What's it say?"
"I don't believe it!" Jimmy gasped, "It's from Wario! And look at what it says:
Attention All Employees:
It has come to my attention that maybe I've been a bit of a loser when it comes to Christmas. I'll try to keep it simple: I'm sorry. You all have the rest of the week off, so you can celebrate both Christmas and New Year's. Also, inside the box are all of your Christmas gifts from me. Now, go home and celebrate Christmas with your family or else you're FIRED!!!
Wario, CEO of WarioWare Inc.
Wow! This is Wario's handwriting! He certainly did write this! What are we waiting for? Let's see what he got us!"
Everyone immediately crowded around the box and began pulling out wrapped presents for themselves. It didn't take long before they were announcing to the world what they had got.
"Hey, Spitz!" Dribble shouted, "Wario got us a satellite radio for our cab! How cool is that?"
"Ana, look!" Kat exclaimed, flashing two shinny new ninja swords around, "Aren't these awesome?"
"YES!!!" 9-Volt yelled, stuffing his PSP in his back pocket and immediately forgetting about it, "I DID GET A DS AFTER ALL!!!"
"Eh? What's this?" Jimmy muttered as he pulled his gift out of the box, "A new cell phone? That's kinda cool, but my old cell phone works fine..."
"Wait a sec!" 9-Volt interrupted, snatching the phone from Jimmy's hands and looking at the model name, "Why... Why... It's a Japanese 900 series iMode PHS!!! This is the phone that can play Before Crisis – Final Fantasy VII!!! Where did Wario get this!?!?"
"Uh... What? You lost me. Does it still play my micro games?"
"Are you kiddin'? Of course it can play them! BC-FFVII is a RPG, for crying out loud! If it can play that, then it can play your micro games!"
"Oh, ok. I don't care so much about RPGs, as long as I can still play my micro games."
9-Volt proceeded to have a coronary over Jimmy's lack of appreciation for the ridiculously rare gift, but it didn't last, since everyone was happy with the gifts Wario got them. Soon, they returned home to have Christmas with their families. Mona, however, couldn't get past the group while they were looking for their gifts, so she had to wait until they all left before being able to even get near the box. It didn't take her long to find her gift, and what it was shocked her.
"W-What?..." Mona shuttered, "A d-diamond r-ring? But why..."
She turned around and saw Wario, standing on the other side of the street, holding a small bouquet of flowers.
"So... Uh..." Wario mumbled, as embarrassed as Mona was shocked, "You believe in second chances?"
Mona's answer was in the form of running across the street and giving Wario a big hug (eww... romance...). After saying some mushy stuff that would be an intrusion of privacy to quote, the two of them spent the rest of the day together. They went to a Christmas Day church service (the first church service Wario went to in recent memory), had a little lunch, and generally had a very awkward, but very cute date. After seeing her home, Wario decided he would take up his nephew's offer about Christmas Day dinner. He went to his nephew's mansion and, after about a minute or so of hesitation, knocked on the door. Luigi himself was the one to open the door, and he was, needless to say, a little surprised to see his uncle standing there.
"Woah! Uncle! What are you doing here!?"
"What do you think I'm here for? To have Christmas dinner with you, of course! Will you let me in?"
Let him in!? Wario was lucky Luigi didn't shake his hand off! Wario certainly had a wonderful time at his nephew's house, and so did all the other guests who Luigi had invited. Without a doubt, Wario couldn't have been happier as the dinner carried on into the night. Unfortunately, the party was also tiring, proven by the fact that when Wario returned home, he wasted no time getting ready for bed and quickly fell asleep.
However, Wario didn't sleep in the next morning. As a matter of fact, he got up early so he could get to the WarioWare building before Mario. Wario suspected that, since Mario didn't know about Wario having everyone take the week off, he would come to work that day, but he would probably be late.
Wario's guess was right. Not only did Mario come in late, he had apparently forgotten about Wario telling him that he had to come to the office an hour earlier that day! The first thing Mario saw when he entered the building was Wario, who was doing his best to act like he did before he met the spirits.
"Mario!" Wario sneered, "What are you doing coming in late? And doing so when I specifically told you to come in early?"
"U-Uh... S-Sorry s-sir..." Mario stuttered, "I-I completely f-forgot..."
"Uh, huh. Sure you are. Now, I can only see one way to punish you for your tardiness..." Wario began as grabbed Mario by his shirt collar and pulled him in real close, "And that is... To make you my partner!"
Mario looked at Wario like he had two heads. Franticly, Mario pulled himself from Wario's grasp and, for a moment, thought about using the desk phone to call the insane asylum.
"Merry Christmas, Mario!" Wario shouted in all sincerity as he patted Mario on the back, "And I'll make sure that it's merry! I'll give you a promotion and even help your poor family! How about we talk about it over dinner at your house? I'm pretty sure that you have leftovers from that giant turkey I sent you yesterday..."
Wario kept his word a hundred times over, and Baby Mario, who did not die, looked at Wario as his second father. Overall, Wario had become a good man, a good Christian, and, eventually, a good husband to Mona. Sure, some people laughed at him about his sudden change in attitude, but what did he care? He was Wario!
He never saw another spirit, but he knew that, somehow, they were probably watching, so he kept Christmas close to his heart for the rest of his life. May that be true for each and every one of us! And, as Baby Mario said: God bless us, everyone!