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The night sky gave no comfort to Aoshi. In fact, it was making him
feel worse. Only a week back at the Aoiya and he already felt like
leaving again. And this time, he'd stay away. Away from the
temptation. Away from the seduction. Away from the girl known as
Misao.

Misao.

Just one week. All that it took was one week. She grown so much.
Her eyes were much older now. She proudly bore the scars that she
had suffered, just for the sake of him.

It all came so easily to her.

How?

Aoshi had tried himself on several occasions to release himself
from the barriers that he himself had made. To shed his false calm
exterior and finally tell her how he felt.

But no. He couldn't do that. After all she was still just a child.
Even through she *had* grown in the past years that he was gone,
her innocence was still there. She still sang songs in the garden,
acted immature in the most inopportune times, and still insisted
that Aoshi himself tuck her in every night.

How childish was that?

Aoshi could understand the tucking in thing if Misao were still
seven or eight, but she was sixteen now, almost seventeen. It was
time for her to grow up.

But why do you want her to grow up?

Her growing up would ruin everything. The peaceful bond that Aoshi
controlled himself with. No, if Misao grew up- that would be the
end.

Aoshi would no longer be in control of his emotions, and that was
what he feared most. That fragile scale would tip over and he
could never be in control again.

The primal urge to take her into his arms was becoming greater day
by day. And yet, Misao had no knowledge of this. She would
continue on, talking to him, smiling at him, unknowing that she
was torturing him.

To grow up or not to grow up. Either way Misao decided, Aoshi knew
the results would be devastating. He would kill all the life
within her. With his own hands he would destroy the very thing
that he had come to love and cherish.

Misao's happiness.

He would gladly sacrifice himself for her happiness; and yet the
way things were going, in a way he was. It was eating him up
inside. His feelings for her were getting harder and harder to
ignore as time passed.

Maybe he was over reacting. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe it would
be great.

But it seemed as if everything he touched he had destroyed.

Hannya. . .

Beshimi. . .

Shikijou. . .

Hyotoko. . .

Who was to say that Misao would not share the same fate as them if
he indeed gave into his emotions and took her as his.

His.

How he longed to just say that Misao was his. Anyone who talked to
her would know, Misao belonged to Aoshi.

Aoshi closed his eyes to the night sky. It wasn't helping him. It
was making him feel worse.

Images flowed into his mind. The image of a half-naked Misao
caressing his lips with hers. Wrapping herself around he. Aoshi
embracing her within his arms and never letting go.

No!

Pushing the dream far back into his mind, he once again opened his
eyes.

"I prefer being confused." He said aloud to the sky, half-smiling.

A voice came from behind him. "Aoshi-sama?"

Scarred by the voice, he flinched for a moment. He didn't have to
turn around. He knew exactly who it was. He preferred not to look
at her, however. He would be able to have more control if he
didn't; a tactic that he often used. "What is it Misao?" He said
in a cold voice. Secretly Aoshi hoped that his tone would scare
her away.

Unfortunately, for Aoshi, it didn't.

Misao placed her hand upon Aoshi's back. Her touch was so gentle,
so fragile. Aoshi could feel goosebumps taking over his body.

Please don't do this to me Misao. I can't withstand you for much
longer. I don't think I can keep my lust for you hidden if you
continue to-

Touch.

Her hand slowly traced Aoshi's spine, finally stopping at his
shoulders. She stepped in closer, smiling at him. "Hey, what are
you doing out here all alone?"

"Escaping." Aoshi flatly said.

Why did I say that? Oh gods, now she was going to ask-

"Escaping from what?" Misao said, a confused look on her face.
"Are you okay, Aoshi-sama?"

"I'm fine." He continued to watch the night sky. Don't make me
look at you Misao. "I'm just escaping from the ruckus." He
explained.

"Oh." She said, walking over to the rail guard, placing herself
next to him. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Actually yes, you're the reason I'm escaping! Can't you see how
you're confusing me Misao? Stop looking at me with those loving
eyes. I don't deserve your love. I deserve you spitting in my face
and letting me rot alone. Why can't I just say-

"Do whatever pleases you." Aoshi finally said after a brief moment
of thought.

Aoshi had no idea of how long the two had been standing there, in
silence. Watching the night sky. His mind had shut off the fact
that *she* was standing right next to him, watching him and not
the sky like he was. He wouldn't allow himself to take advantage
of this one moment the two had. Together. Alone.

No he couldn't do anything could he? Making any sort of move would
disturb the balance.

A gust of wind hit the two. Leaning her head upon Aoshi's shoulder
Misao sighed.

Panicking, Aoshi tensed up. Was that a sigh of happiness? Didn't
she realize that if they did anything- if he did anything-

No she wouldn't.

This whole thing came natural to her.

Aoshi pulled himself away from Misao's head and began to walk back
into the Aoiya. Misao turned quickly and called to him,
"Aoshi-sama?"

Don't answer.

Don't answer.

Answering would mean the end.

Just leave.

Run away from it.

But I'm sick of running.

"Yes, Misao?" Aoshi paused before the door, surprising Misao. Yet,
he still did not look at her.

"Aoshi-sama..." Misao gazed at him longingly. She wanted to end
this eternal suffering of his, to ease his pain in some way. "Good
night Aoshi-sama."

Aoshi turned to face Misao.

Balance.

Maybe she is what he *needed* to achieve this so-called balance.
Looking into her sea-foam eyes he found the answer. Tell her. Hold
her. She will not push you away. All you have to do is shed your
disguise.

But tonight would not be the night he would tell her.

Aoshi nodded. "Good night Misao." He then turned back to the door
and slowly slid it open.

Patiently, Misao watched as he pulled open the door. Her hands
clasped together and resting upon her bosom. Quietly, she
whispered "Aoshi-sama."

Time was not on his side. Would she wait until he got the guts to
destroy his emotional walls? Misao was young. Attractive. Just at
the age to fall in love with some idiot and marry him. Could he
take that chance and risk Misao's touch?

No. He had wasted enough time.

Hopefully, *he* was the idiot.

Again, Aoshi paused in his leave. "Ne, Misao."

"Hai?" Misao responded, half gulping. She hadn't expected him to
say anything else to her.

His back was still towards her. He could not look in her eyes
still. The last thing he needed was to melt before her and just
blabber things. Aoshi did not want her to think of him as a fool.
"You know that I-" His voice cracked.

"That you're-?" She continued his sentence, taking a step forward.
Now he was scaring her. What was Aoshi up to?

"That I-" He finally gathered the strength to face her. Slowly he
placed his hands on her shoulders.

Stay in control.

Stay in control.

"That I love-" He swallowed hard to try and destroy the lump in
his throat. "That I love-"

Come on! Say it you idiot!

You've repeated the words over and over in your mind. You've
blocked the words over and over in your mind. It's time tell her!
She may not stay if you don't.

"That I love you?" Misao questioned.

"Huh?" Aoshi blinked, not believing what he had just heard. "Yes.
That *I* love *you*."

A warm smile appeared on Misao's face. She looked almost
satisfied.

Don't tell me that she knew all along-

"Oh Aoshi-sama," Misao lifted her hand to his face and traced his
features. Her touch had a magical feel to it. It healed Aoshi. All
of his doubts and fears were beginning to disappear. "I love you
too."

A slight boyish grin grew on Aoshi's face. Cautiously, he brought
her into his embrace slowly. The feeling that came upon Aoshi
tipped the scales of his balance. A rush of emotions filled his
body. Her touch, he wanted more of it.

Misao, you don't realize how long I've longed for this.

'Stay in control.' A voice echoed in his head.

He slowly pushed Misao away, trying not to seem appalled at what
had just passed. She would understand. He wasn't ready to totally
shed his disguise quite yet. He turned back to the door, the smile
still on his face. He had told her. The heavy weight that had
rested on his shoulders for god-knows-how-long, was now lifted. He
had told her. She knew. Aoshi desired nothing more at that moment.

"Good night Misao."

Temptation would have to take over another night.

Fin

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Author's Notes:

... I sometimes scare myself on how quickly I can crank out
A & M fiction. That's two in two days x_O And even though they
aren't long like my usual style, I love both of `em :D This one is
a bit more focused on Aoshi's POV than 'Can You Keep a Secret?',
which is easier to write... ummm... yeah right! _

Aoshi confuses the heck out of me. He jumps from one thing to
another when it comes to emotions. The dude just can't make up his
mind! That's why there's a lot of jumping in this fic. Sorry, I
tried to stay in character as much as possible.

So what did you think of the ending? *dodges hordes of purple
trout* Oh come on, you didn't think I'd actually let them get
together did you? Come on, it's Hikaru here! _ Master of evil
angst and nasty cliffhangers even though this is a one shot

^^; *meekly* I thought it was a good place to stop...

Standard Disclaimer:

I don't own Misao or Aoshi or any other characters mentioned in
this short. I do not own them I tell you! Nobuhiro Watsuki does
though. And so does Sony and Jump Comics. And they are big
companies that have lots of money. I am a poor otaku who has *no*
money. So please don't sue me. This fiction was created for
entertainment purposes only ^^;

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