As the Pulitzer's van pulled into the parking lot of the Wonderland, David was trying to figure out why he'd wanted to go to this rave in the first place. Tony and Sean had broken out the drugs almost as soon as they had gotten into the van, and Sarah had spent the entire ride sitting on Jack's lap, claiming that there wasn't enough space anywhere else, even though David had pointed out that there was an empty seat in the back next to Kathryn.

Jack had been ignoring him all night.

Considering that they were in public, it didn't really surprise him. Doing anything in public would violate the rules that Jack had set down for them at the beginning of their relationship after all. But even though they couldn't spend the entire ride making out, like Sean and Susan were, didn't mean that they couldn't sit next to each other. And it certainly didn't mean that Jack should be flirting with Sarah.

He really had no right to be jealous - he knew that Jack wasn't really interested in Sarah. He was just pretending, just acting. But it wasn't fair to Sarah, it wasn't fair to Jack, and most of all (in David's opinion) it wasn't fair to him. He shouldn't be forced to sit there and watch as his boyfriend sat and flirted with a girl.

Finally, Sarah disentangled herself from Jack long enough for everyone to get out of the van and head into the rave. David watched in amusement as Sarah attempted to latch onto Jack, who pulled away, and instead smiled brightly at David.

Jack hung behind as everyone else went for the club, and put his hand on the small of David's back.

"You ready?" he asked with a grin.

"Fuck, yeah," David replied, leaning towards Jack, who pulled away.

"Not here, Davey," he reminded him sharply. "People could see us."

David sighed, and mutely followed Jack inside the club.

David's eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness. The music was pounding, and the only lights were from the glow sticks that the people were dancing with.

David stopped to watch the dancing. He had no sense of rhythm, he had come to accept that after many years of embarrassing himself. He had tried very hard to forget the incident in eighth grade play where he had been given a solo – people had taken to referring to his dance routine as the monkey jump for years. It wasn't something that he was particularly proud of.

Luckily, Jack had later told him that he'd found it sexy, and David was almost able to believe him.

Because, really, it had been way more ridiculous than sexy.

It was so loud and so dark that Jack was able to pull him into a corner, and the two were grinding up against each other. Nobody noticed that the two of them were together, most of the friends were clustered around Tony and Sean, who were distributing even more drugs.

"You're amazing," David hissed.

"What?" Jack yelled, struggling to make himself heard over the roar of the crowd, and the beat of the music.

"You're amazing!" David repeated, a bit louder this time.

Jack paused. "Why?"

"I don't know," David replied. He felt giddy, even though he hadn't had any of the drugs that Tony and Sean had been passing out freely. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn that he was drunk. But he hadn't had anything to drink.

"You just are," he continued, moving even close to Jack so he could be heard over the music. "This whole thing is," he added, gesturing around to the rave. "We're here, and we're dancing, and we're together, and nobody really cares! This is everything that I wanted. To be with you."

"Are you high?" Jack asked, looking at David with a critical eye.

"You know I didn't take anything, I don't need it when I'm with you."

David leaned in, trying to get a kiss out of Jack, who pulled away suddenly.

"David, you can't." Jack brought up his hands, keeping David from getting any closer.

"But why not?" David protested. "Nobody is watching us, and even if they were, nobody would care. They're all high!"

"You know why we can't do this David. Stop pushing for it."

"But –"

Jack cut off David's protests by heading for the exit. "I need some air!" he called over his shoulder.

David lowered his head and mutely followed him, feeling like he was being chastised for something that wasn't his fault at all.

---

Matt headed over to a corner to try to find a place to sit down. He couldn't bring himself to do any of the drugs that everyone else seemed to be enjoying, and he had been summarily ditched by Sarah almost as soon as they had arrived at the rave.

So he was confined to the corner, all by himself. Jack and David had abandoned everyone else as soon as they'd arrived. Matt hadn't even bothered to think about it, since he knew that the two of them were incredibly close, which is one of the reasons that they had roomed together for so many years, but that was not reason to ditch all of their friends like that.

Matt sighed. He really hated raves.

Everyone was too busy getting high, and dancing, and he was stuck all by himself, always the outcast, always watching the crowd.

Matt tried to smile and get into it, but it just wasn't his scene. But he needed to be sure that he was able to get along with everyone, so he just faked it. He'd much rather have been back in his dorm reading a book, but he had to play the part of a good schoolboy. Not just as a straight A student with a lot of volunteer work behind him, but also being a leader, and popular.

Matt couldn't stand the amount of pressure that he was almost constantly under.

Even if that was the reason he had come to the rave that night.

Sarah Jones…

Honestly, the girl was so absolutely incredible. She was beautiful, and smart, and talented… one of the best girls in their entire class.

And she seemed to be interested in him, or at least she did sometimes. Other times, it was as if he didn't exist at all. Usually about the times when Jack was in the room.

Jack.

Jack Kelly was undoubtedly Matt's least favorite person in the entire school. He was everything that Matt wanted to be, except that Jack didn't even have to try. Jack had the grades, the athletic ability, and he had Sarah Jones interested in him.

Jack had all of this without trying, while Matt had to work for it.

It just wasn't fair.

Matt turned back to watch Sarah. She was smiling, laughing, and seemingly having a good time. She was dancing, pressed up against Sean, grinding against him, and enjoying herself. She looked incredible.

Suddenly she stopped, and pushed Sean away, and went over to Tony, and tapped him on the shoulder, and muttered something into his ear.

Tony nodded, and handed her a vial, and she took a long swig of the drugs. Matt groaned. She was so perfect, why did she have to…

Shit.

Sarah had gone suddenly pale, and was leaning up against the wall, looking awful. Matt got out of the corner, and ran over to her in concern.

"Is she okay?" he demanded, noting her heavy breathing and suddenly clammy skin.

"She should be all right," Tony said, some concern showing in his voice. "She's just fallen out a bit. I'll take her outside and get her some fresh air."

"No, I'll do it," Matt snapped, and headed over to Sarah.

"Come on, Sarah, let's get you outside."

She just nodded, and then her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fainted. Matt gathered her up in his arms, and headed for the closest exit, wondering if he should call 911.

"She'll be fine," Tony repeated as he followed Matt toward the exit. "This isn't a major overdose; I'd tell you if it was."

"Fuck you, Higgins," Matt retorted. "Like you even care."

"I fucking care!" Tony looked insulted by the implication. "Jesus, I warned everyone what could happen, she just took too big a swig. I wouldn't let her take more than I thought she could handle."

"If you know what could happen, then why the fuck do you still do this shit?"

Tony didn't answer, he just glared. After a moment, he did speak up. "Why the fuck are you still in here, anyway? You should be taking Sarah outside."

Matt glared at him, but he did as he was told.

---

"I don't understand," David said as he caught up to Jack. "You were fine with us just a few hours ago."

"Davey," Jack sighed. "This is getting ridiculous. Every single time I think that you remember what the rules are that we set down for our relationship, you try to push at me."

"But Jack, I love you, and I want people to know that."

"I know you do, Davey, and I love you too. And maybe one day, we'll be able to tell everyone. But we can't, not right now."

"Jack, I don't care about that. I just want to know that you love me."

"But I do, Davey."

"I want it where everyone else can see us. Why should we have to keep this a secret? You're my soulmate, Jack. We'll be fine if we're together."

"You're as bad as Mary Sue, with all that soulmate nonsense," Jack said with a sigh. "We can't go public with this."

"But look around us, Jack!" David exclaimed in frustration. "There were so many people there, some of them had to have seen us dancing together. And nobody cared. Just give people a chance..."

"A chance?" Jack exclaimed. "A chance for us to end up like one of the kids that you see on the news?"

"Do you really think that little of everyone?"

"This is real life, Davey, people hate what they don't understand. And they've never understood people like us. Try to think what it is that coming out would mean."

"I have thought it through, you're the one who won't give it a chance. You're just… you're a coward, Jack. You're actually scared of coming out and saying who it is you really love. You'd rather pretend that you're like everyone else, when you aren't."

"You're calling me a coward?" Jack asked incredulously. "You, who won't do anything that goes against your mother tells you to do?"

"Some things are worth fighting for," David said softly. "I'd tell her now. She'd still love me."

Jack didn't answer, he just glared at him.

"You know that we can't go on forever this way," David said, struggling to break the silence.

Jack snorted. "All this talk of forever," he said finally. "Why can't we just think about today?"

"We'll have to grow up eventually, and face what's coming."

"But that isn't now. This, us, is now." Jack glanced around, and put a hand on David's shoulder. "I love you, Davey," he repeated, more firmly this time. "Isn't that enough for us?"

David answered him with a kiss, and for a moment the world and their problems seemed to fade away, and everything seemed like it was going to be all right.

---

Matt stood in the shadows, holding an unconscious Sarah in his arms. He shifted positions slightly, trying to make Sarah more comfortable as he tried to comprehend what he had just seen.

Jack Kelly. And David Jacobs.

Kissing.

That wasn't possible. They were both… they had always seemed to be ridiculously close. But they… Jack was ahead of him to be valedictorian!

He was Mr. Perfect Student. All the girls wanted him, and all the guys wanted to be him. But… Matt had just heard Jack confess his love for a boy. Somehow, those two things didn't seem to even out.

Matt had always listened to the teachings of the church, and the church had always taught him that homosexuality was wrong, and that people who chose to practice it were some sort of perverts. It was wrong. Father Denton had always said so. And he'd been Matt's advisor, his confidant, for years. He had never been wrong before. He'd always helped Matt do what was right.

But Jack and David… even though Matt had walked in on some sort of argument, he could see the tenderness that was behind the fighting words. He'd seen a relationship like that before, in his parents. Even though they fought over things, there was always love behind their words. And somehow, Matt could almost see it in Jack and David.

Still though, it was different. They were both boys. It was wrong.

But… the church also said that love was right. And if Jack and David were in love, how could it be wrong?

Matt carried Sarah out to the car, trying desperately to decide if what he'd seen was wrong or not. Things had seemed so simple when it was just abstract concepts that the church had been teaching him. But now, it wasn't just some abstract thing with no bearing on his everyday life. Now it was his friends, and for the first time in a very long time, Matt felt utterly lost.

---

Mary Sue awoke to a knock at her door. She yawned, and rubbing her eyes, checked the time.

4:23.

It wasn't even four thirty in the morning, and someone was trying to wake her up? Seriously, she'd only gone to bed about an hour before, having utterly given up on writing the next chapter of her fantasy novel. The words had just stopped flowing, and Mary Sue was pretty sure it was because of the sheer exhaustion and stress that she was feeling. And she had the entire next scene plotted out in her head, too, she just couldn't make the words flow on paper the way that she wanted them to.

Still, thoughts of her novel could wait, what she needed to do now was figure out who was making that racket at such an ungodly hour of the morning.

Mary Sue got out of bed, pushing her comforter onto the floor. She almost headed straight to the door, but then she glanced down at the tank top and shorts that she was wearing. She wasn't Sarah, she didn't have the body to go around like that, although Mary Sue cursed softly at herself for even caring. Flicking on the light, she grabbed for her bathrobe and pulled it around herself tightly.

The knocking was growing louder, more insistent.

Mary Sue sighed. "Hold on, I'm coming," she said crossly. She crossed the room, and unlocked the door, expecting it to be her roommate and whatever boy she'd picked up at the club that night. But if Sarah even thought she was going to be sexiling Mary Sue at this hour, she was out of her fucking mind.

"What the hell do you…" she cut off mid sentence, as she saw Matt carrying her unconscious roommate.

"Fuck, what did she do to herself?" Mary Sue asked, moving over so that Matt could set Sarah down on her bed.

"She took a bit too much," Matt answered. "She's been breathing fine, and she woke up a few times. Tony said that she should be fine, and taking her to a hospital would only get her into trouble. Still… I'm thinking about driving her anyway."

"I'm sure she's fine," Mary Sue responded, forcibly biting down a sarcastic comment about Sarah being too evil to die. "I'll stay up and watch her for a while."

Mary Sue's eyes widened in shock even as the words left her mouth. She didn't understand why the words had seemed to flow so easily. Sure, she wanted to impress Matt, she had come to terms with her crush on him by now. But she and Sarah hated each other, it was a basic tenet of their existence. And honestly, Mary Sue knew that she really didn't care whether Sarah lived or died, as long as Sarah kept her claws out of Jack, and stayed out of her way.

But another part of her still remembered what it had been like to be friends with Sarah. It hadn't really been that long ago.

Shaking her head, Mary Sue looked up at Matt, who was fairly beaming at her.

"You really don't have to do that, Mary Sue," he replied. "Tony's probably right, and I'm just overreacting."

"Still, better safe than sorry, right?" Mary Sue said with false cheerfulness, even though she was mentally kicking herself as the words left her mouth.

"Do you want some company?" Matt asked. "If you're going to stay up until she wakes up, you shouldn't have to do it on your own."

"You don't have to," Mary Sue said, trying not to appear too eager. After all, Matt was concerned about Sarah's well-being, not her own. He loved Sarah, same as every other guy in school did.

"Well, I'll stay for a little while, if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself," Mary Sue replied, with what she hoped was nonchalance.

Matt settled down in a chair, and Mary Sue turned on her laptop, and plopped down on her bed, and pulled the covers back over herself. As soon as the computer fully booted up windows, she opened up word and stared at the part of her novel that she had left off on. The handsome knight was just about to rescue the sleeping princess, but she just had to get him through this last passageway so that he could rescue her.

"What are you doing?" Matt interrupted.

"What does it look like?" she asked.

"I don't know, you're staring at your computer."

"Just screwing around," she answered. Her writing was personal; nobody really knew about it… nobody from real life anyway. That was one of the perks of internet friends, they were all anonymous, and you could tell them anything, and they wouldn't judge you on what you looked like, but on how well you presented yourself in your writing. It was a much better system in Mary Sue's opinion, since it got rid of all the trivialities that dominated high school.

"Oh," Matt replied, watching her intently. "So, um… how's your brother doing?"

"Worried that Jack's going to beat you out for valedictorian?" Mary Sue smirked, unable to keep up her false façade of cheerfulness any longer. Sarcasm was so ingrained in her personality that she was unable to keep up any semblance of sweetness for that long. The biting remarks that she thought of almost automatically just fought their way out of her system whether she wanted them to or not.

"I'm already fairly sure that he's going to beat me," Matt answered back sharply. "That wasn't what I was asking about. I was asking how he's doing."

"He just got accepted into Notre Dame," Mary Sue answered. "Why do you care?"

"I was just… kinda worried about him, I guess. Forget I said anything."

Mary Sue looked at Matt curiously. He seemed to be actually concerned. Jack probably fucked himself up at the club or something, she assumed. Whatever, David will take care of him. Unless…

Mary Sue had had her suspicions about David for quite a while. And Matt… he had the look of someone who was trying to reconcile his entire belief system with reality. It was something that Mary Sue had fought with her entire life, especially when she'd realized that she truly didn't believe in God. She went to this stupid school because her parents wanted her to, and she participated in Mass, and went to confession, and did everything else that a good little Catholic girl was supposed to do, but she'd actually stopped believing in it all such a long time ago. If there was a God, there was no way that he would allow her to be so utterly miserable, and be confined to this pitiful of an existence.

"He's fine, as far as I know. We don't really talk about personal stuff," she answered, hoping that her expression wasn't giving anything away.

Jack, how could you be so stupid?

Mary Sue turned back to her writing, although she was now fighting off the urge to just kill off the stupid knight. The damsel could rescue herself. She didn't need a man to save her.

She barely even noticed when Matt left the room, closing the door softly behind him. And it was a good thing that she hadn't, because the sight of Matt kissing Sarah's forehead probably would have enraged her beyond belief.

---

A/N – Many thanks to B for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own fault.

This chapter dedicated to Hilby, for existing. loves