The Muffinless

Chapter 6

On that same day, same morning in fact, someone was not downcast from lack of muffins. They had woken up way before the birds had begun chirping and the inhabitants of the school began stirring. Even before Mr. Wagner, Mr. Logan, Mr. Summers, the supposedly deceased being, and Miss Munroe had discovered their predicament. This person had somehow, perhaps magically, snuck into the kitchen, snatched the baked goods, and skipped merrily away. Well maybe not skipped. More like wheeled or rolled their way out. But that’s not the point.

The fact of the matter is: he was not muffinless! I know, I know, what a lucky soul he must be! Oh dear, I slipped again. Now you know it is not an “it,” but rather a “he.” A most bald “he” he was. And this bald “he” had wheeled himself and the muffins, of course, to freedom. Well actually into the basketball court which had a jet waiting to fly him to a secret rendezvous.

So now he was sitting comfortably at a picnic table complete with red and white checkerboard tablecloth, tea, crumpets, blueberry jam, blueberry muffins, and the most adorable little plastic sporks he had ever seen. While he was admiring one of the cute eating utensils a shadow fell over the picturesque picnic scene. “Do you have them, my old friend?”

“Indeed, old friend, indeed I do,” answered the bald man, his shiny head reflecting the sunlight so that it bounced back into the visitor’s eyes, blinding him temporarily.

“Is it secret? Is it safe?” The man blinked rapidly and rubbed at his eyes. Then he promptly burst into gales of laughter. “Oh, I just love saying that. It sounds so…familiar.”

Now I know you know who these people are because of my horrid ability to be surreptitious and foreshadow. But I will say this anyway for old time’s sake. And now you must be wondering who on earth these old, wrinkly men were. Well I will tell you. Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr were these two old geezers who had planned a secret meeting (coughpicniccough) in which they would devour the muffins most greedily. How very rude!

“Mmmm,” said Magneto, wafting the smell of fresh muffins towards his nostrils. “It’s time to dig in!”

The two buddies each grabbed a spork and a muffin, ready to gobble the goods up. In slow motion (it adds to the drama) they both sliced their sporks through the air, pointy fork parts aiming towards the crumb covered tops. Closer…closer…almost there…just an inch left…come on, they can do it…just a centimeter…

“WAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTTT!” The men both jumped a foot in the air at the sudden wailing noise. They whipped their head about wildly, looking for the source of the noise. Nobody could have figured out their plan and come to stop their secret picnic! It simply was not possible! How? What? When? Why?

“Ahem hem! Down here bub.” Wolverine! Wait, no. No Logan anywhere. However they both looked down, wherever down was, and found nothing. “A lil’ to the left…up…no! Your other left!” Their eyes followed the instructions, ending up in the direction of the blueberry muffins. “OK, much better.”

As this was said, the muffin tops seemed to separate from their bottoms just slightly, creating the form of a mouth speaking. Xavier and Magneto gaped at them. Talking muffins! Blimey! Suddenly googily eyes seemed to materialize out of nowhere, on the tops of the muffins. Now the muffins were staring back. Staring muffins! Good God! And finally little twisty and wiggly arms and legs sprouted out of them. The two mutants could only stare dumbly as the muffins stood up and began walking away, off the picnic table.

A little “tsk tsk” and “humph” were heard as the breakfast foods hopped onto the grass and grumpily stalked away, disappearing into a nearby magical pink-treed forest. This happy place went away with a POP! and the two old friends blinked rapidly. No wonder everyone had seemed to want the muffins. They were magical. The men shook themselves from their trances and went back to their picnic without another thought on their muffinlessness.

“Could you be a dear and pass the jam?”

THE END

AN: Thank you all soooooo much for sticking with me and my first "published" fic! I know it has been a long painful wait the whole way, but I made it! Thank you to all my faithful reviewers and readersand hopefully you haven't lost too many brain cells while reading this. Magic Blueberry Muffins for all!