|Pearls of Experience
Author: bunniculasama PM
A reflection on unrequited love.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Words: 1,338 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 01-06-05 - id: 2208156
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Pearls of Experience
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Warnings: Take it easy one me, I've never written a Robin fic, but I huggles me the Robin so, I thought I'd try my hand at it. Forgive me if I suck.
Summary: Reflections on love unrequited. One Shot.
She makes me think of pearls. Simple, elegant, innocent in their own way. The way the light seems to glow from her, pale and beautiful, like the moon. All the other gems- rubies, emeralds and even diamonds shine like transparent sins in the light, their larger than life beauty is nothing in the light of a single pearl.
I've realized now that there are no other girls for me.
But its not just her appearance that puts my mind to thinking about pearls, but she herself. Her life has been so short, and yet she faces so much heartbreak, Its unfair, it really is, but it make her shine. Pearls start out as irritants, stray grains of sand that slip into the shells of unsuspecting oysters, who, in turn, coat the invader with minerals to soothe the pain. After many years, a beautiful pearl is born. She's like that to me, her pain makes her beautiful, like a pearl.
God, I sound like a sicko - I'm not really, I just find myself blinded by her. Her pain may be beautiful, but it tears me apart inside. I've never seen myself as a real masculine guy, I chose a keyboard over a gun or sports, but something primitive stirs in me when I see her tears. I get angry... I can't stop it. It's a rage that I've never quite felt before. And right now, it's directed at him.
He has no clue. He holds her heart in his hands and he doesn't even know. Sure, all girls go for the tall, dark, and handsome type, the bad boys. It's the geeky ones like me that get delegated the best friend title. I watch him give her heart a painful squeeze and my vision goes red. But there is nothing I can do.
I love her. Totally and completely. And she loves him. I guess it's my lot in life, I just wish I could, I wish I could hold her, help her, I want to see her smile... I want to know I made her smile.
I'm selfish, I know. If I truly loved her, I'd wish her happiness with Amon. I'd wish that Amon would suddenly return her feelings. Yet, when I lie awake at night, I don't. Instead, I clutch my own arms and pretend she's near me. I don't deserve her, but I'd give anything to be with her.
I remember when she fist arrived, her hushed voice soothed me from the moment I first heard it, her gentle scent a comfort as she leaned close to me. And now that she's in hiding, I treasure the chats we have late at night by the well - I have her all to myself, and for those blessed few moments of our conversations, I feel like the center of her world.
So now I sit here by the well, waiting - hoping, for her arrival. It's cold and dismal, but I won't leave, not until she comes. Like every other night that I wait, I try to gather the courage to tell her how I feel, but the words rest like stones in my heart - I already know what her answer will be. I'm the best friend. It's Amon who gets her heart.
But I can't help looking forward to her arrival. I'm such a fool.
As always, its her cool, tentative voice I hear, calling to me softly. "I'm here, Robin." I'll always be here. Whenever you need me.
"They're hunting me, Micheal."
My pulse is like a jack hammer in my chest; I can't breathe for the racket its making.
"Amon's hunting me."
I hear the heartbreak in her voice, and my heart lumps painfully in response.
"Am I really... a witch?"
"Not to me. To me you're still Robin... you're still a - a friend." So dangerously close. So close to telling her the truth.
She's silent for a long time after that, and I'm gripped by the fear that she'd left me, frightened by the feelings she must have heard in my voice.
"Thank you, Michael - It means a lot to hear you say that."
And I really wish that I wasn't imagining the slightly broken tone in her voice.
"Robin - get away from here... slip away. Find a safe place far from SOLOMON, from Amon and the STN-J. You shouldn't have to deal with this."
Another stifling pause. "Away from you?"
I ignore the stabbing pain in my heart and swallow thickly, "If it means your safe, then away from me."
I run my fingers against the rough edges of the well in longing, for once not caring what the cameras saw and what people knew.
"I may never see you again, Michael."
That was certainly true, and the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't deal with it. I leapt over the edge of the well, and fell on my ass as I landed.
"Are you ok?" she knelt next to me, and for the first time in a long time, I was able to bask in her presence.
"No. I'm not ok." Without being asked, my hand rose to her cheek, cupping her soft skin tenderly. "I want to - hold you. I want to kiss you." My free hand grasped hers, "I want to see you smile - just once, for me. I know that you can't, but I want your love. Most importantly, I want you to be free - from all this mess. Let me be your shield just this once - let me set you free. Run far away from all of this and be happy."
He beautiful green eyes filled with tears, and in a whirl of dark fabric, she faded from view. And I was alone.
But that foolish girl never listened to me. She stayed, she fought. Somehow, she turned Amon to her side, and the STN-J was once more reunited. It was during our attack on the factory that she finally found her freedom - she and Amon are 'officially' dead, but I know they're still breathing.
It's been months since then, but I can't move past her brilliance, and although she's long gone, I'm still prisoner of everything that she is - was, whatever. I've been set free from my prison at Raven's Flat, and although its sweet, something is missing - Robin is missing.
A glimpse of dull red catches my eye, and momentarily, I'm sidetracked. I follow what was more than likely my imagination down a dark alley. Hope burning through me like her fire. But all I find is a dead end.
"Did you mean it, Michael?"
Spinning, I'm caught by her glowing green eyes. I'm numb with shock, and I hope to God that at least my head is nodding, because I can't for the life of me, find any words.
She closed the space between us quickly, and wrapped warm arms around me. For once, the silence between us didn't weigh heavily, for once I felt at home - at home in her arms.
Crooking a finger beneath her chin, I tilted those beautiful eyes to meet mine. Her lips parted slowly and I found I couldn't resist their call. Not anymore.
OK... so that sucked. Thanks for sitting through it, and if you could, let me know what you think. Not that it's deserving, but I'd like to know what you all think. Thanks.