Super Smash Bros. Melee: Utter Insanity

It's back! Since script format was banned, I had to revise it. Uh, yeah.

Honestly, and I'm only saying this once, do you REALLY think I own SSBM? The answer would be... no.

It was a quiet and serene day. The birds were chirping. Yes, this was a wonderful Saturday.
"There's nothing on."
... Well, that was until there was nothing on the television. Yes, Marth was surfing for something to watch. Only problem was there wasn't anything on.
"Hand me the remote, Marth," his red headed comrade said as he recieved it. Roy surfed the channels, one by one. "Hmm. It appears you're right, Marth. Say, let's play the game."
Marth nodded.

So, they took their places on the floor, sitting in front of the television. Roy went to the pile of Gamecube games and selected "Super Smash Bros. Melee". He placed the disc in the 'cube and pressed the power button.
Nothing happened.

"Nani? Baka..." he tried again. Fed up, he smashed the Gamecube with the flat of his sword.
"... Roy."
"Yes?"
"MASTER HAND'S GONNA KILL US!"
"Oh."
"That's all you can say?"
"Pretty much."

A few hours later...

Everyone was the couch, bored stiff. All of the sudden, a LOUD fart erupted.
"DOORKNOB!" Young Link called, pointing at Ganondorf. "You have to touch a doorknob. Until then, we get to hit you!" Young Link began hitting Ganondorf repeatly.

Zelda sighed. "Ganondorf, you need to stop it with the bean burritos."Link laughed. "Or maybe... he didn't eat anything. Maybe he needs to take a big sh-"
At that moment Ganondorf rushed to the bathroom and didn't come out for a few hours. "... That was some shit he had to've taken then, huh Zel?" Link asked, coughing after laughing for almost an hour.
"... You're as immature as your younger half."
"... I take that as a compliment."

They were still bored an hour later. So, Link came up with a strange idea. "I know! Let's play... TRUTH OR DARE."
They all looked at him strangely.
"... What have you been smokin', older me?" Link's younger half, Young Link, asked, raising his left eyebrow and looking at his older self like he was nuts.
"Nothing. I was drinking Mountain Dew prior to this, though," the older Hylian replied, twitching every now and then.
"Truth or Dare it is," Zelda said, setting everyone up for it. "I must be nuts for going along with this."
Peach spoke up. "Nope. IF you were, by chance, do you think I would be helping you?"
"Or that we would have to endure the foolish truth questions are silly dares that the men will make us answer or do?" Samus added, a coy grin on her face. "'Sides, I already have a good truth AND dare for good ol' Link. Heh heh."
Never give Samus Mountain Dew.

So, they sat down, in a circle, all twenty-five of them. "Which one of us goes first?" Mario asked, eyebrow raised as he looked at the person next to him - Luigi - and then looked at Zelda. "... Um, let's see. I'm think of the letter R. Who's name begins with R?"
Roy raised his hand. "Mine does. So I go first?" Zelda nodded.
"Alright, then. I dare you, Marth, to kiss Princess Zelda!" the red head said, looking as innocent as possible.
The blue headed swordsman blushed and turned his attention to the Hylian princess who was, also out of embarressment, blushing. So they then locked lips for ten seconds (Roy counted), and split apart.
"Um, Link, Truth or Dare?" Marth asked, still blushing.
"... DARE ME!" the blond Hylian replied, bouncing up and down from the Mountain Dew.
"I dare you to..." Marth began, thinking of a dare that was appropriate to the current situation. Link was high on Mountain Dew. The dare would need to accomodate that. Oh hell, what am I saying? Screw that, let's get on with the story. "... run around naked, fill a bathtub with choclate ice cream, sit in it for 30 minutes, and recite Pirates of the Caribbean quotes!" he finished, looking triumphant.
"... PotC quotes? Run around naked? Fill a bathtub with chocolate ice cream and SIT in it for THIRTY minutes? COOL!" Link said, running off to do his dare.
"Since Link is gone, I'll take his turn," Young Link said, looking around the circle. "Zelda, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Do you look at Link's body? If so, what body parts?"
"Well, I look at his..."

Cliffhanger! Uh, yeah. Sorry. Stay tuned for Chapter Two of UTTER INSANITY!