His eyes cracked open against the blinding sun streaming in which told him it was well past midday. After his eyes adjusted to the light he realized the ceiling he’d come to recognize as his was not there. This was not his room. He’d had quite a long, much needed, sleep he could tell by the color of the sunlight. Then through the fog, he reached out to his side. The cool sheets next to him told him Susan was gone now, most likely still rising early as usual. Somethings never change.

He fumbled his way into a clean set of clothes. It was now an easier task that he’d rested and padded back down stairs past Davey and Turkel involved in lessons, he ruffled the boy’s dark hair as he passed his way to the bathroom. Emerging he heard sounds of occupation in the kitchen, he entered to find Susan at the sink elbow deep in suds.

“There you are.” Marcus yawned from the archway. “I wondered where you’d gotten to.”

“Well some of us can’t sleep that long.”

“I didn’t even notice you were gone till I woke up. They have an wash unit you know.“ He said pointing to a silver unit under the counter.

“I know. Just thought I’d pitch in. I like washing dishes.” She felt more than saw his questioning look. “It relaxes me, okay? Helps me think.”

“Well then,” he reached out for the wet bowl she’d just finished, grabbing a towel from the counter. “Far be it from me to interfere then. I’ll even help. What time is it?”

Susan looked at the her wrist chrono sitting safe on the counter to her side and contorted her face as she tried to do some math in her head. “Whatever 1600 hours is here, hell if I can tell. You were down for about... thirty two hours.”

“Thirty two- Hold on... It’s Fel’chai?” He said referring to the current Minbar day.

”Yep. You look like you needed it so we left you be. Oh and before you ask, Delenn cancelled your class today since you were down for the count.”

He yawned deeply. “Good. My stint is almost up anyway. She needs to find a replacement. I’m only supposed to be filling in.”

“Yeah, Delenn mentioned that.”

“She talked me into it. I think she was afraid you weren’t coming and wanted to distract me. Though if I let on I actually enjoy it she’ll have me tenured and in a damned robe in no time flat. So... shhh.” He pressed his fingers to his lips.

“Would that be such a bad thing? You’re good at it.”

“Well thank you, and actually no I wouldn’t mind it, but I just want to do what I want to do for once in my life. Whatever that ends up being. I think I’ve earned that. Who knows I might come back to it.” A wide smile crept across his face. “Unless of course the uniform turns you on, because I can always sign back up.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” She smiled softly and handed him a dripping bowl. Then another. And another.

“Ask you a question?”

“Mmm” she mumbled handing him a wet bowl to dry. “Okay.”

He was obviously choosing his words carefully as he absently rubbed at the dish."You've been in the Force over a decade. You can retire anytime you want, no questions asked. Why the asylum? Why not just run out your term?" He put the bowl on the shelf as she handed him another.

These were good questions she found herself struggling for the words. She sighed. "I told you what I am.“

”Yes. A telepath, and a pretty lousy one at that. You didn’t turn blue. Nothing fell off. Big deal. At least you also wouldn't be throwing your career away or do something you will regret the rest of your days." he tossed the towel over his shoulder.

“Regret?” She pointed a wet soapy spoon at him. "Listen, I've regretted betting a month's salary on the Mars Dodgers in the '55 series, I've regretted a fiancee who left me for my best friend and stole my car, I've regretted not being with my father on his deathbed... I could write books full of my regrets, Marcus. You might even be featured in three or four... but this... this is not one of them," she she shook her head smiling sadly at him. "I knew exactly what I was doing. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of living in fear that they will find out. Tired of thinking I should have to. I'm tired of all of it.“

”You want to know what I think?" he asked leveling his clear green gaze on her again.

Her eyes narrowed at him, but she smiled softly. "No. But I bet I hear it anyway."

"I think..." He smiled leaning in. "That maybe the last three years haven't been as exciting as the ones leading up. That just maybe you liked being an enemy of the people... liked being a rebel."

"Oh come on," She started to protest tossing down the scrubber. "It's not like that at all."

He then began to recite what she had written on her asylum application only the day before in his most theatrical voice. " 'I find I can no longer be silent in the truth of my own being and I freely submit that I, Captain Susan Ivanova, was born with the telepathic gene and have suffered my true identity in silence for fear of my own persecution from the very system and ideals that I have served to protect.' " Then his gaze settled on her with more than a little bemusement. "That's up there with Thomas Jefferson, Huang Mei, and the Great G'kar. Who would have though you of all people would have grown a taste for being a revolutionary." his green eyes teased her.

"I'm Russian,” she said dryly. “We invented revolution."

"You like to think so.” he retorted. “But you guys were even better at staying the party line and building Siberian summer homes."

“Not this time. What you don't understand... can't understand...Is what it's like to never feel at home in your own skin, to hate what you are because of the lies you are forced to live just to have any sort of life at all.”

”Listen, Susan, I know you’re scared of Psicorp. I am not going to pretend I understand that I know what it’s like living as you’ve had to. God knows I’ve heard all the same stories you have, probably more, so I know what you're afraid of. But, what would have done if you were on your ship when this riot happened?" He asked frankly.

She chewed on her lip a second. She hadn't actually thought that. It was only then she realized the water was still running, she turned off and leaned her behind against the countertop. "I didn't defect did I?“ She asked realizing what might be behind his pressing the issue. ”Thats what this is about.“

His face tightened. “No, no you didn’t.”

“So what did I do? Can you tell me that?”

She could see him carefully choosing his words. “You lived your life. Kept your nose clean, worked your way up the chain of command and retired quietly without much notice. No one ever knew your dread secret. That’s why I was surprised. I had no idea. No one does.”

She frowned looking into his emerald eyes. “Does that sound like me? Living the quiet life? No, I think I’d rather go out with a bang and have my conscious intact than stay in and live a quiet lie that eats me alive.” She rubbed at the center of her forehead tiredly with wet fingers. “Truth be told I’ve thought of leaving almost as soon as I got back in. I was dreaming to think I could ever be accepted after what happened. I just... didn’t have anyplace else to go.”

Marcus’ eyes implored her, she could feel his compassion pour over her in waves, she closed her eyes and felt herself concentrating on their comforting rhythm. “This teep row won’t last long. It’s not going to be the full out war you’re fearing, and when the dust clears it won’t matter anymore, trust me.“

“When I left B5 my heart just wasn’t in it anymore, and the very thought of going back, even without what happened yesterday, is not something I want to do if I don’t have to. Be it three days or three years.” She raised her head up. "I’m tired of hating my life, I’ve done it far too long. You gave me a second chance, I’m giving myself another. I don’t care what the history books will say.“

He reached out and carressed her arm. "I found I have a vested interest in history books as of late." He said catching her blue eyes with his. The heat they’d shared on the ship was present again.

”Jefferson and G'kar eh?" She raised an eyebrow skeptically. "That's some company."

"Indeed. Couldn’t be better,“ he said.