(I had to repost fix some margins etc. but no worries Su Me, your comment is copy/pasted in the end, as is my answer to it. Just so you don’t think I did this to erase your ‘gems’. I want others to read it because it is not useless – it can always serve as a bad example. Ppl like you really make my day, especially when I get you foaming over such a triviality. Just makes me wanna tease you on. In fact, I dare you to review all my fics thehe

Tamble - thank you very much for your review, I seriously appreciate it, especially after Su Me’s one. Doomo arigatou :))

As I said, it’s just something I sat and did. I was experimenting on something (i. e. a slightly different style of writing), but I don’t think you’ll notice. Or should care :).

Anyway, pre tekken 4 Jin, one random day, a weird plot, forgive the non-native speaker, blah blah, I don’t own tekken or Jin, just the girl. Didn’t bother naming her tho, I’ll leave that to your imagination ;)

Enjoy

P.S. the title is actually a line from tekken 4 Jin’s ending movie (which I don’t own either hehe) as are the Japanse words (guess they translated them ‘hate, anger, curse (me)’. Am not sure) but I can only hope I got them right. It’s not like Japanese is my mother tongue either :)

Open your eyes, Kazama Jin!

He sat up in bed so abruptly that his shocked mind, still hazed by sleep, had to struggle with a spinning vertigo for several long seconds, desperate to see through thick darkness, before remembering where he was.

Ikari… ikume… noroe…

The callous voice inside his head finally faded away. So merciless. So disturbingly familiar.

The scream that woke him up still echoed through the space, ricocheting against bare, undecorated walls before dying out completely.

A pair of wide, scared eyes formed out before him as his pupils gradually adjusted to darkness. A young woman was staring at him - an unblinking, pale face framed by a tangled mess that was her hair. But it wasn’t she who had screamed.

What was it, third time this week?

The girl shakily shifted after a moment of silence burdened by unease, as if she half-expected something more to happen. Outside the never-sleeping city was murmuring its night song, like a giant machine put on hold. Jin sighed, silently hoping some angry neighbor would come and knock on the door, complain, shout, protest, just so he can explain and apologize and promise to be more considerate next time. Anything, just to avoid this conversation. Again.

He tried to brokenly smile. It didn’t work; after spasms of pain and horror, his facial muscles seemed limp and too heavy to move. Just like the rest of his body. Only his brain seemed to be working overtime.

“Did I wake you up?” he whispered, unable to think of anything better to say.

Shadows on girls’ face deepened, indicating a frown. Several more moments of awkward silence passed. After the head-piercing scream, this calm almost felt wrong. The girl seemed not to blink, just watch, like a cat preparing for a leap.

“Look…I’m sorry” Jin sighed, feeling a trickle of sweat slide down his back, making his skin crawl again “It was just a bad dream…”

Or was that maybe a grimace of fear instead of anger on her face?

“That dream again?” she squeezed out through trembling lips, now hidden behind her knees. She had pulled her legs up, putting a barrier between them, staring at him with watery eyes. The voice behind the sheet was muffled and quiet. Scared.

Jin hesitated for a moment, wondering if he really heard trembles in her voice, then concluded he was probably still too shocked to reason properly anyway, though he tried hard not to show it. After another moment he decided it would be better if he didn’t try to reach out for her right now; she was pretty angry the last time. He didn’t blame her at all.

“Yes” he nodded, debating with himself should he try to sleep tonight at all. He glanced about, looking for bright red digital numbers of an alarm clock.

Three in the morning.

For god’s sake! Too late to fall asleep, too early to just get up and go on with your life. He ran a hand across his forehead, removing locks of hair plastered by sweat to the skin that felt cold and clayey to touch. It’s even too early for jogging, too early for breakfast, too early to be awake and THINK about these things at all.

When he turned back, he saw she hasn’t moved at all... Just sitting there in a fetal position, with hands on her knees, fingers clutching the sheet, staring at him. She looked like a small, terrified child facing the demon she always knew lived in her bedroom closet.

Jin grumbled to himself, feeling a headache swelling up between his templates. He didn’t mean to frighten her like this, but, honestly, if she planned to sulk on, he’d appreciate if she just went back to sleep instead. At least she could.

“I’m sorry I scared you…” he began, but a car alarm from somewhere below wailed like a wounded animal, making her flinch and let out a startled whimper. Bad timing.

“Just a car” Jin smiled, speaking in a louder, assuring voice. He thought that might help to break the tension. However, she just sat motionlessly, an inanimate black silhouette against the illuminated but starless night sky above the city. Her shallow breaths seemed to count the number of passing seconds in this ominous silence, measuring how far the two of them were drifting apart.

Then she whispered, slowly but with a clear determination in her voice

“I’m going home.”

“What, now?” he interrupted, a bit harsher than he intended and instinctively reached out for her. In response she got up in a movement that was just a little bit too swift, pulling a sheet off the bed and up to her shoulders, desperate to put something between them, anything just to distance herself, hide from his gaze. Even a paper-thin sheet seemed like an iron curtain now. Pressed to her body, it shook like a leaf on the wind, both the cloth and the flesh in the same bloodless shade of white.

Jin sat back, trying to make some sense out of all this. Another car passed by and the sound of its engine came and went with a Doppler effect, just emphasizing the lack of sounds in this room. The base of his skull was pulsating with pain now and he already knew he would get no more sleep tonight. Maybe it was better so, anyway.

Then he noticed she was really examining his face, searching for something with her eyes wildly jabbing up and down, left and right under brows knotted in a grimace of a tearless cry. The young man tilted his head to one side in a genuine wonder, slightly unnerved by the revelation.

Instead of with her, was there something wrong with him?

While taking one more involuntary step back, she let the sheet fall and blindly started picking up scattered clothes off the floor, hastily dressing herself, never taking nervous eyes off the young man sitting on the bed. Her voice was thin and uneven, more an apology than an explanation –

“I imagined… For a moment I though I saw…”

“What?”

Jin struggled to sound patient and calm. It seemed the nightmare didn’t end the moment he woke up; in a way, being alone in a cold bed on nights like these was far worse. “I though you were spending the night here…” he continued, almost to himself. Disappointment and disbelief mixed with sadness in his voice. He didn’t care, he just wanted her here.

She just wanted to leave.

As she made no attempt to stop or answer, he slowly extended his hand and offered her an open palm. In dim light his pale skin glistered under a layer of cold sweat. He suddenly felt very weak. Small. Broken. He needed her warmth, her calming touch.

“Please. Stay with me”

The girl hesitated, with a T-shirt in hands. For one long moment he watched her inner struggle, so well mirrored on her face and her sunken shoulders. In this city of strangers, she was all he had. Then, under the unearthly electric lights from the outside he saw her eyes harden, she backed away, giving him an overly emphatic shake of her head.

No.

In rush towards the door the girl half-panicky pulled the T-shirt over her head, almost tripped and fell over, but desperately regained balance and got out, without even stopping for a fleeting glance over her shoulder to check if Jin was still on the bed. She couldn’t, didn’t want to see the pleading eyes of the boy who silently mouthed “I need you here”, too broken inside to make a sound, too proud to beg. She never turned back.

In the hall, an electric bulb went on, shedding scarce light in the bedroom.

Hectic shuffles as she was looking for her shoes, bag, keys.

Jin, hazed, stared at the bar of light below the door. From time to time, when she passed by, her feet would leave dancing shadows behind. He watched their soundless sweeps across the floor, feeling her slipping just as elegantly and silently through his fingers, wishing he could freeze this moment, stop the shadows where they are, prevent her from leaving, talk to her, explain.

But, he couldn’t. He knew she wouldn’t understand. He couldn’t expect her to.

Swallowing hard, he managed to make his voice sound firm enough “Do you want me to walk you home?”

The front door slammed.

He knew she didn’t really need his help; she had a flat near by and Brisbane was a safe place to live in. She’d be alright, She didn’t need him.

But he…

Jin lowered his chin to his chest and looked at muscled hands that lied in his lap, broken. He raised the two mighty fists in front of his face, examining them, flexing powerful muscles. Harder than rocks, tougher than steel. He intended to fight and kill with these two and yet, they weren’t strong enough to even keep one woman by his side.

The boy let his head fall in his hands and wept.

- - - - - -

As the city started to awaken and greet the new day, pale rays of sunlight shyly bathed the room in gradual, almost unnoticeable sweeps. They slowly unveiled the figure that lied curled up in bed, hugging a pillow. The boy’s eyes were open, but were looking at nothing, lost in thought.

After another sleepless night, another blurry morning.

Strangely, nights like this one made him think of his father; the man he never even met. Was he waking up in sweat, half-dead with horror too? Was he scaring his mother like this, night by night, waking her up, destroying her peace? Did he willingly agree to this hell? Did he really throw his life, love, future, everything away just to have his revenge?

And was it worth it?

The boy held the pillow more tightly, closing his bloodshot eyes. It was cold and lifeless, just like he felt inside.

But revenge… that can certainly make a man’s blood boil.

Jin’s eyes snapped open, without a trace of sleepiness, armed with a determined and sharp glare. Yes, he needs to focus on the future, on that big day he felt was very close now. That’s all that mattered. Corners of his mouth curved up in a sickish grin.

The boy got up swiftly, energetically stretched and started pulling on his worn-out jogging pants.

On his way out, he turned off the light in the hall.

Outside, cars and sleepy people rushed out to streets, adding more noise to the already fast-growing clamor. A new day was beginning.

shrug pointless, I know… ok, but if you really hate being inane, you can see the ending as something deep and symbolic… like the bad example (father) whose path, without realizing, he chose to follow. Thus the ‘LIGHTS OFF’ image; he shut the door to his own salvation. And so on, and so on …

Now, do you want more of these ‘a day in a life’ bits, or was this one more than enough? :)

Thanks for reading

‘lost’ reviews:

Su Me )

This is a stupid, stupid, stupid STUPID story. Odds are the only thing stupider than this “story” is the reflection you see in the mirror every day. What a loser u are to think this is readable. Bet u don’t even have the backbone to email me and stand up for yourself even after the beating you just got now, LOSER. Do yourself a favour now and get a capital L tattooed on your forehead. It’ll prepare you for the rest of your life and alert others to steer clear of you. The better to make sure we’re not affected by your genes.

Shrike

LOL! (I assume a rabid fangirl) Su Me; bite me!

I never mail my reviewers, what makes you so special I should start with you? So what, the story maybe sucks... but at least it's just a story and not my life (as only a bitter, bitter person could write such a comment). Go get a life. Oh and thanks for reviewing... ppl like you make me appreciate my own sanity even more

Tambleheadmonster

Unusual, intriguing, and all around well balanced.

-Tamble