|Act a Fool
Author: starry night blue PM
[ONE SHOT] If RK characters were real people who practiced their scenes and got scripts and everything, then how would it be like?Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 4 - Published: 01-21-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2228440
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
D/C: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, or Gundam Wings, or Yu-Gi-Oh!, or Digimon...I would've gladly settled for one of them, though.
Right, I've always imagined what it would be like if the RK characters were real people learning lines from scripts and stuff, and here's what I came up with.
ACT A FOOL
The director of Rurouni Kenshin stepped into the room. He smiled around at the cast, who were lounging around, looking extremely bored and irked. "Okay, my friends, settle down, settle down," he said, smiling. "We need to discuss a few things."
The cast of RK all sat down at the long rectangular table.
"Alright, the writers have just given me the script for the new episode," he said, waving the sheets in his hands in front of them.
"Who's the new villain?" Kenshin drawled.
The director smiled. "No villain this time, it's just one of them comical episodes," he answered.
"Yeah, the ones which make me look stupid," Sanosuke said grumpily. "It's not fair! Why am I supposed to be the idiot?"
The director shrugged. "Well, some one has to," he replied. "Of course, nothing against you, mate"
"And why do I have to be so stiff?" Aoshi demanded. 'I'm so cold I might be frozen!'
"Well, it's what's in the script," the director replied.
"That's nothing, anyway…you get to wear decent clothes!' Sano said. "Why do I have to wear pants which are seven inches too short?"
"At least you don't have to wear something which looks like a skirt," Kenshin and Yahiko said in unison.
"Yeah, and it seems that only Kaoru gets to change her clothes!" Misao protested.
"Yeah, and why does it seem that we never use the bathroom…we must stink by now!" Kenshin protested.
Megumi suddenly stood up. "Aoshi and I don't show up a lot, that's not fair," she fumed.
"I…" the director started.
"And I hate it when my Aoshi gets cozy with Misao!" Megumi continued.
"Ha! You think I'm better off? I just hate it when Kaoru gets cozy with my Kenshin!" Misao said.
"At least none of your boyfriends has done smooches with other women yet!" Kaoru snarled, shooting a glare at the director, who immediately took a step backwards. "Why did you have to let Shishio kiss Yumi?"
The director raised up his hands, as if to ward them off. "It's not my fault! I didn't write the script!" he said, defensively.
"You know, I'm the only character with no romance in the episodes!" Sano suddenly exploded. "Can't you bring Sayo back from the grave or something?"
"No, thank you! I was happy when she left the set! She was starting to get on my nerves!" the director snapped.
"Well, can't you hook me up with some other girl? One of them Sailor Moon girls would be absolutely fine," Sano said.
"You can't! Those girls are still shooting their next season!" the director cried.
Suddenly , the door was thrown open and the cast of Gundam Wings stepped in.
"Hey! What are you doing here?" Yahiko said angrily. "Get out!"
"We were told we could hold our meeting here," Heero Yuy said, frowning.
"Can't you see this room is already taken? Go find some other place," Aoshi said.
"But we booked this place!" Quatre Raberba protested.
"Yeah? Well, tough luck…we took it, so OUT!" Kenshin said, starting to lose his patience.
"What will you do if I don't? You gonna use your sword on me?" Duo Maxwell sneered, and they all smirked. "C'mon, guys…let's go find some other room…this one's obviously specified to second-rate shows."
They all burst out laughing. Then, they were gone and left the door open.
Sano got up and slammed the door shut after them. "God! I hate those guys!" he hissed.
"Yeah, they're such show offs!" Kenshin agreed.
"Uh-huh, they think they're super cool with those big machines and guns of theirs," Yahiko huffed.
"I don't even know how they got into the anime company," Aoshi muttered.
"Oh, don't be so harsh," Megumi said, smiling. "Those guys are not so bad."
"Yeah, I think they're really cute," Misao agreed.
"Total hunks," Kaoru added, and they burst into giggles.
"Very funny," Kenshin snapped.
"Guys, will you please read the script now?" the director pleaded.
They all accepted copies of the script from him and started reading. The director watched them nervously; the corners of Kaoru's mouth were twitching, Sano was shaking angrily from head to foot, Yahiko was rocking backwards and forwards on his chair, Aoshi was pacing the room, Kenshin was scowling, and Misao and Megumi were both uttering a constant "Tut, tut" .
The director braced himself for an angry outburst as they all got to the last page. And sure enough…
"I'm Mr. Snowman again!" Aoshi fumed.
"Megumi pulled my ear three times!" Sano raged.
"I don't like being called a weasel!" Misao cried.
"Kaoru hit me with her bamboo sword…ten times?" Kenshin said angrily.
"Misao nearly kissed Aoshi!" Megumi huffed.
"How dare you let Sano throw a bucket of water on me?" Kaoru snapped.
"You let Kaoru make me sweep the whole Dojo?" Yahiko shouted.
"Please, listen!" the director cried out, exasperated, and they all fell silent. "It's not my fault, alright? It's those damned writers!"
"Of all the nerve!" Misao hissed.
"Let's go get 'em!" Sano shouted, and they all shouted their agreement.
"We want new clothes! We can't keep wearing the same thing everyday!" Megumi said.
"I'm sick of cleaning the Dojo!" Yahiko said.
"Let's sue those writers!" Kaoru exclaimed.
They stormed out of the room and down the corridor to the writers' office. However, they found a large group blocking their way.
"Hey, move it! We want to see those writers!" Misao said.
Yu-Gi-Oh! actress, Tea Gardner turned to look at them. She sighed. "Sorry, guys…you'll have to wait in line," she said.
"Huh? You mean all these people are here to speak to the writers?" Kenshin asked.
"Yeah," Tea replied.
"Jeez, that's one long line, everybody seems to be here," Aoshi remarked.
"Those writers are definitely doomed," Sano said.
"Should we wait?" Megumi asked.
"You kidding me? Of course not!" Sano replied. "Alright, MOVE AWAY!!!"
He pushed through the crowd, throwing people out of his way…but that was before he bumped into Digimon actor Wargreymon, who stood with his hands on his hips, glaring down at Sano, who started to cower.
"Heh heh! I think I'll leave now!" Sano said, turning around and running away. "Not ready to fight fire yet!"
He got back to his friends, panting.
"What happened?" Kaoru demanded.
"You know, I think it's best to stick to the script," he said.
"Huh?" they all said, confused.
"Only, Megumi…don't pull hard, I'm rather attached to my ears," Sano said.
A/N: So, what do you think? Not much , huh? Anyway, please review if you liked it!
- S. N. B.