Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or Lord of the Rings.

Spoiler Warning: Same as before

A/N: Lizzi- Well, a lightbulb was the first random object I could come up with, and it's one of those things that can provide infinite bad puns, should I ever want to use one.

You Know Who- Actually, my peeps are all tucked away in my closet right now. I know better than to try to write after I eat them.

nyx-lily- Yes, I'm planning on continuing it, as evidenced by this next chapter. Of course "the best laid plans of mince and men gang aft agley" and all that… but I intend to get them as far as the equivalent of Mt. Doom, and maybe back to DS9. Or they could die. Or they could get lost along the way.

Part Two: The Council of Kira

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old…" Commander Kira began. "You have been summoned here to answer the threat of the Dominion. Deep Space Nine stands upon the brink of destruction- again. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall."

"But we're already united," Odo pointed out, having somewhat recovered from the lightbulb's effects along with Kira. He glanced around for support, and received many nods, as well as a forceful grunt from Worf, who was visiting from Kronos.

"Actually, according to Dr. Bashir, the Lightbulb will drive us apart if it keeps… doing what it's doing."

"I see."

"Good. I don't. In any case… bring forth the Lightbulb, Nog."

Hesitantly, he placed the lightbulb on the shiny bar table. "You're sure it won't slide off?"

"Do we care if it does?"

"True."

"It wouldn't break even if it did," Julian informed them. "It is a Dominion weapon built from practically indestructible materials. It was made on Kurill Prime; only there can it be unmade."

"Shouldn't I try to smash it with my bat'leth just in case?" Worf demanded.

"No, you'd get seriously injured if you tried."

"How do you know it was made on Kurill Prime?" Ezri asked curiously.

"Well, as I was examining it, I noticed some strange markings on the top. I cross-referenced them with the computer, and found that they were Vorta letters, which translate to 'Made on Kurill Prime'."

"Hmph. You just like showing off."

"Is this a good time for me to take over again?" Kira interjected. "It is my council, after all."

"Right."

"Sorry."

"Thank you." She cleared her throat. "So, who wants to volunteer for a suicide mission?"

"Ooo, pick me!" Nog begged, raising his hand and jumping out of his seat.

"Okaaay. But I don't think you should go alone." As she shuffled the PADDs that were traditionally sitting in front of her, she failed to notice that most of the people in the room were shooting each other discreet looks. "Who wants to go with him?"

Simultaneously, every chair but Bashir's scooted backwards about a foot, leaving the doctor quite obviously alone. Kira chose that opportune moment to switch her attention away from her PADDs.

"Thank you for volunteering, Julian. I hope you realize what you're getting yourself into. Kurill Prime is a vast enemy stronghold, after all, and the Federation has no presence there. If you run into any trouble- and I'm sure you will- you're on your own, protecting Nog so he can destroy the Lightbulb."

"I…um…I didn't…what?" Julian craned his neck around to look at his fellow officers. "Oh, not again."

"Right, then. Off you go."

"Well, I need to get my emergency medical kit."

"No time for that. Every second lost strengthens the Lightbulb's hold on us. So, you can just take this phaser and scurry down to one of the Runabouts."

"I'll make sure he gets there without distraction," Nog offered.

"And I'll screw the chairs back into the floor," Rom added.

"Good. Then, may the blessings of the Bajorans, Humans, Vulcans, Klingons, Romulans, Andorians, and all other free folk be upon you."

"You forgot Ferengi," Nog pointed out.

"And Trill," Ezri added.

"Sorry. May the blessings of the Bajorans, Humans, Vulcans. Klingons, Romulans, Andorians, Ferengi, Trill, Tellarites…"