Meanwhile, the game had deteriorated into a wrestling match for possession of the keg. Stiff and Oz were half-buried under a writing mass of male bodies with Kevin cracking up and trying to pull guys off before they suffocated. All one could hear was the heated cursing and laughter for some time before the lopsided ball fell apart and they picked themselves up. The beer keg was dented and covered in sand, and they all spotted the hole in the side where the liquid had drained out into the ground.

“Fuck!” Stifler snarled. “Now I gotta go back into town and pick up another.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. We gotta finish setting up anyway, man,” Oz commented and the group dispersed. The five residents of the house went around to the back door, where they brushed off the sand as best they could and retired inside.

When they’d changed and reconvened in the living room, Larissa sighed loudly and groaned.

“What?” Kevin asked, taking a swig from a can of soda.

“We need uniforms, don’t we? If we’re catering, we need uniforms,” was the reply.

Finch nodded in agreement. “I can’t see us looking too professional without them. You think there’s a decent store in this town where we can get fitted?”

“Only one way to find out,” Oz answered, pulling out the car keys.

So they all piled in and were in the small town before half an hour had gone by. Driving down the streets, suddenly Finch tensed up and pointed out a department store that looked bland enough to sell them cheap, fashionable outfits. Upon entering, they split up and tried to find clothes.

“Man, all we’re doing is serving alcohol,” Stifler complained to Oz and Kevin. “It’s not like we gotta be waiters in some high-class cocktail place.”

“Still, Larissa’s right. We wanna get paid and tipped, we gotta look the part,” Kevin explained as he checked out dress pants. “You like tan or gray better?”

“If we’re just picking out the pants, I’d opt for black. They’ll match anything Finch and Larissa choose.” Oz started perusing the racks of pants while Stifler lost interest and wandered around.

He lost himself in the aisles and was dangerously close to the lingerie section when he realized his position and grinned. It was a prime spot to check out hotties. As he hid himself among men’s undergarments, he inspected the pickings.

He noticed one brunette, a little chunky around the hips; Hispanic but with blonde highlights in her hair. Kind of tacky, he thought. Two peroxide blondes near the novelty thongs; cute but probably underage. And they were too short to boot.

But that blonde had a seriously fine ass under her dark capris. She was over in the Shirts section and a mannequin hid her face, but he noticed the chest covered by the red shirt and her average height and was getting ready to make the move when he heard Kevin calling his name.

“Stiff! Come on; we got stuff to try on!”

Stifler gave up and headed back over. Kevin shoved a pair of black pants into his hands, a white button-down and a burgundy vest with gold crisscrosses on it. Following his buddies into the dressing room, they all changed and came out to show off.

“Nice,” a voice commented from the chair next to the three-piece mirror. They all spun to see Larissa inspecting the four of them with a smirk.

“Jesus Christ,” Kevin laughed nervously. “Larissa, this is the guy’s room!”

“That’s right, Kev. And she must feel right at home.” Stifler spat with a snide grin.

“Bite me,” she responded, standing up and going into a stall with her outfit.

They stood around while listening to her change. A couple tried to bite back the burning desire to say something insulting enough to get her to barge out of there in nothing but her undergarments. Finally she emerged in an effeminate version of the same outfit, wearing tight black slacks, a white blouse, short tie and the burgundy vest.

“Everything fit ok?” Oz managed.

“Yeah. The pants kind of make my ass look huge, though,” she commented, inspecting her rear with a cynical eye.

“Nah…” Kevin shrugged. “Well, yes, ok. But it’s a good thing.”

“Thanks loads,” she muttered. “It’s probably laced with Spandex.”

“Just buy ‘em and let’s get out of here before the security cameras break,” Stifler barked and went back in to change. The others followed suit and emerged in their regular garb.

Just as Larissa took everything up front to pay for it, Stiff watched her go and something clicked in his head. When he realized it, he almost threw up.

She was wearing a red shirt and dark capris!

He had checked out his own sister!

Jubilant that he hadn’t said anything, he refused to look at her the rest of the day out of sheer disgust as they went home. When they got in, a message on the machine kindly requested that the party for the Lake Sanitation Department be held that night. They called the woman back, said they’d do it, and changed.