This is just random outpouring that came out one night when I was frustrated. We tend to do that in our writing, I notice. People who have to get it outlike to write from a character's POV. I as well do the same, though debate over the ethical choices that we have in life.

Yet another Robin fic but I've stressed even much more on his relationship with Batman, something I've enjoyed even before "Teen Titans." But if you've read my other stories, its repetative of others I've done, so just a warning. This is nothing new.

This fic willbe jumping around from past to present anddifferent narrations.just to warn you. Fasten your seatbelts and get some tissues. Also, some of the dialouge is based on the English line script from "Yu Yu Hakusho". Therefore, credit must go to Funimation and to Justin Cook who wrote the English dub.

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He was moaning, crying, screaming, and sobbing on the inside. Robin’s body was getting thrown around the basement as haphazardly as a rag doll. His friends were hundreds of feet away from him but they might as well have been on the opposite side of the world.

As soon as Robin had struggled to regain consciousness after the warehouse, he was horrified to find himself strapped to the hospital bed. His friends had given up on him. Yes, there goes Robin, the neurotic Boy of Wonder. There he goes on his crusade against crime to fight an enemy that no longer exists.

So the Titans were locked into another room while Slade was real to Robin. The stabbing fists were real. The swollen black eye was real. The loaming ominous voice was real as anything.

On the outside, it looked like a mere body beating. But his arms and legs were weaker than ever. His eyes alone were swollen from the pain and heavy with exhaustion. Whatever part of his body did not throb with pulsing maddening aching tones was being slammed against cold icy steel.

Robin gave another moan just as his body was slammed against the metal railing. His stomach bent in two and he retched, just preparing himself in case he would vomit. He didn’t, but the two large hands were around his throat and the lack of air was agonizing enough. Robin was getting light headed. Strange visions were blurring into his mind and the forever vortex of black was slowly spinning into gray shapes before dissolving into pure white beautiful flashbacks.

I’m supposed to be a hero. The heroes defeat the villains and return home in triumph without much else but a cheerful victory song. And it’s always worth it to fight for truth and justice. Always.

Is it worth it?

“And then, the Man of Steel flew off into the sunrise with his beloved lady in arms,” his mother concluded. “And they all lived happily ever after.”

Richard snuggled down into his bed all cozy and warm. The faint smell of sawdust mixed with caramelized burnt sugar wafted through the air of their circus tent. A pleasant soft yellow glow emulated from the clown shaped lamp on his dresser.

“I liked that story, Mom,” he said drowsily. “Can you tell me another one?”

“Not tonight, sweetie. We’ve got a big day ahead tomorrow,” Mary Grayson smiled at her son.

“But I’m not. . .” the boy attempted to say “tired” but a large yawn smothered his words. Mary laughed softly and gently stroked his beautiful black locks. She bent forward and he smelled his mother’s lotion. Richard smiled. She smelled like lilacs.

His mother kissed the boy on his cheek and gently caressed the side of his face. “Good night, my little Robin,” she cooed in her dove-like voice. “I love you.”

“Good night, Mom. Love you too,” he mumbled before dozing off into dreams of acrobats, dancers, and nights full of circus dreams.

“How can you save a city if you can’t even save yourself?” Slade snarled in his face. There were no answers here. Only questions nagged at Robin day after day.

First question stared at him in the face: “Who is Slade?”

Then came the deed: “What does he want?”

The motive: “Why does he want this?”

The plan: “Who is his target?”

And the answer:

“Me.”

“This isn’t about your friends, Robin. It’s about you. It’s always been about you.”

So now Robin was separated from his friends again and Slade was slowly zapping Robin of his energy, little by little. It hurt enough that the physical pain was overwhelming. It was the emotional bitterness that his friends could not save him . . . had no idea what was going on . . . that is what hurt him the most.

Robin’s dry mouth opened and he moaned; his face flat on the floor.

“Scream as much as you like, Robin,” Slade permitted, towering over the boy. He picked the young man up by the scruff of his neck, causing Robin to dangle in the air helplessly.

“No one is coming to save you. This time, your friends don’t care at all.”

That evil eye, the dark black brooding sphere that could tell all of his passions, was glaring at Robin with a penetrating gaze that held him spellbound, unable to break from his fear or from Slade’s grasp.

“This time, it’s just you and me again.”

Is it worth it?

“Ready?” The Dark Knight nodded to his new partner in approval. Robin took a deep breathe and released the cable. The small red piece of metal soared through the air like a comet, wrapped itself around a pole with a loud clanking noise, and tightened the cord.

“Scared?”

“A little,” Robin muttered. There was no use lying to Batman. His eyes had no magic to see through walls or find invisible people. Yet he still had the ability to see through a person’s presence, right to the pinnacle of his or her soul. Batman knew how to read through the mask.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he said as he rested his hand firmly on Robin’s shoulder. “Accepting your anxieties is the first step to overcoming obstacles.”

“And the second step?”

“After you’ve realized your limits, realize your abilities,” his mentor advised him. “Yes, you may have fear because you’ve never done this before. And yet, I’ve seen your training and your skill are flawless when it comes to acrobatic feats. You can do this, I know it is possible.”

Robin’s uneasy swirling stomach suddenly became calm and controlled. Every step had been carefully taken with the utmost consideration and he was feeling better already. Not only did his mentor make him feel confident, but Batman made him feel safe. And strong. And alive.

It was good to trust someone again.

“Right,” he said as he licked his lips and stepped onto the balcony. His fingers curled over the rope in his palm and he prepared to move. “Ready to fly.”

And he soared. The wind whistled in his ears. Robin’s adrenaline was pumping from the thrill of the moment. Unable to keep his emotions bottled inside of him, the boy let out a high pitched crow of delight as he soared past the skyscrapers.

Is it worth it?

A spicy meaty smell drifted across the roof and ticked Robin’s nose. He breathed in the rich scent of barbequed food and slid into his seat.

The sun was slowly dipping itself into the sea, spreading rays of orange that stretched across the sky like a tired hand waving goodbye to Jump City. The sparkling blue waters were slowly turning purple and indigo as the sun drifted further and further into the horizon.,

“We got prime ribs, we got hot dogs, we got hamburgers,” Cyborg rattled off as he cheerfully loaded food onto plates.

Beast Boy only wrinkled his nose and reached for a light brown patty before smearing it with ketchup.

“Come on, man! You can’t come to a barbeque without eating the good stuff,” Cyborg insisted,

“You call ground cow knuckles the good stuff?” Beast Boy nearly gagged. He began to eat his veggie burger with glee. Robin grinned and bit into his cheeseburger with gusto.

“Ha ha ha!” Starfire laughed cheerfully. She twisted the tiny cap open from a soda bottle and immediately shrieked when it began to spurt white foam all over the table.

Starfire was so frightened that she leapt into the air and landed in Robin’s arms.

“Your fizzing beverage had declared war on our peaceful meal!” she shrieked out loud, shaking a fist at the soda bottle. “Leave us or make a treaty, you Coke of all Colas!”

Her expression was so serious that Robin burst out laughing with amusement. There was an odd noise and four heads turned to Raven. Immediately she had brought her hand to her mouth and turned her head as if to hide a toothache.

“Did you just laugh?” Beast Boy demanded. Raven shook her head violently.

“Come on, Raven, let it out,” he coaxed her. Raven’s normally pale face was flushing pink and she was shaking all over. Finally, a burst of sudden giggles emulated from her mouth and she lowered her hand. Her voice mingled in with the voices of all the Titans laughing, the sounds bouncing off each other like the rays of crimson light from the sun bouncing off the shimmering waters.

You’re supposed to keep everyone else safe and happy. But in this rampage of chaos, what cost will you go to in that war against danger?

"Its just you and me, Robin. We are at opposite ends of the world" Slade said smoothly, calmly, as he walked over and kicked the boy hard in between his shoulderblades. He was simply testing a theory as efficently as a teacher, a soldier, a scholar.

"Whatever one of us tries to do, the other must undo, Robin."

It just wasn't fair, not fair at all. You try to be good, to make secure knots and firm foundations stones in your life. But comes along some sadistic person and twists it all around.

Who benefits?

Richard’s eyes were deceiving him. His parents were falling forever as the circus wire had snapped like a frail twig. He let out a shrill cry of horror and stretched out a hand, but it was too late. One moment they had been flying in the air.

Now they lay on the ground like rag dolls.

The entire circus was in an uproar. The audience was up and murmuring in astonishment at the chaos.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please!” the boy heard a voice over the megaphone. “It was an accident, just an accident!”

Richard scrambled down the ladder and rushed to the ring, his face sweaty and his small body shaking. This wasn’t happening. It’s just some crazy magic trick, right? Mom and Dad can’t be dead.

“Someone call the Gotham police!” he heard the ringmaster shout.

“It was Tony Zucco, I know it was,” he heard Mr. Haley shout. The man slammed a fist into his massive hand. “That good for nothing mobster. He’ll pay for this!”

“We’ve got to call an ambulance,” someone said. His eye fell on the small black haired boy who was violently shaking his parents. “Please, you’ve got to get up,” Richard begged as his voice was cracking.

“No, leave me alone,” the boy sobbed. Someone was taking him by the shoulders but he shook him off. “Go away!” the boy screamed at the world.

He refused to be shaken off. Richard clung to his mother’s dead body tightly, as if he could force life back into her. Finally, two of the circus performers pried Richard’s small fists off of his mother and began to drag him away.

“NO! NOOOOO!” he continued to howl. Fresh hot tears poured out of his heart like a raging volcano, an endless sea of blood and boiling pain that refused to stop flowing. And the pain wouldn’t stop. Not ever. Not ever.

“Mom, Dad, please!” he kept sobbing.

“DON’T LEAVE ME!” Richard screamed, a hand still straining out to his parents.

“DON’T LEAVE ME!”

Who benefits?

Bony white fingers gripped Robin’s neck tightly. He twisted his hands together but all the knots remained firm. Already the thin lines of sweat were streaming from his temples, his throat tight with terror.

“That’s it Batman,” cackled Joker. He raised a beaker brimming with a disgusting looking bubbling green liquid. “Take one more step and I’ll melt the boy down to his bare bones.”

Robin’s mouth was straining to tell his comrade to stay back. But bound and gagged, there was little he could do but let out muffled screams to warn Batman of the approaching danger.

The Dark Knight’s wrist flicked out and the tiny batterang soared through the air, smacking the beaker out of Joker’s hand.

“Tell the bratty bird boy its time to fly!” he sneered, thrusting Robin over the ledge. Batman managed to catch the still tied up Robin in his arms. A curse of anger escaped the man’s lips when he saw the bruises on Robin’s arms and the scars from blood drying on his legs. “He hurt you,” Batman said with disgust. He pulled the gag off Robin’s mouth, allowing the boy to gasp for breath and move his aching jaws.

He’s gonna blow the place-“that was all Robin had to say. The two crime fighters heard a powerful explosion and a blast of fire and wave of hot air slammed into Robin’s back. He felt his mentor thrust his body over his own to protect the boy from the shock. An enormous billowing black cape was cloaked over Robin’s body.

There was the splintering sound of glass breaking and the crashing noise from broken wooden beams. He felt himself being thrust from the building and go sprawling onto the ground. Finally, Batman was able to remove his cape and Robin gasped for breath. The man slashed the bonds holding Robin, examining his wounds.

“I, I’m sorry,” he stammered, his face burning with shame. “I shouldn’t have walked into that trap. I wanted to stop Joker on my own.”

“Just tell me that you’ve learned your lesson,” Batman said in a low voice. Robin swallowed the bile in his throat and nodded.

“You saved me,” he said in astonishment. Batman jerked his head up at once; clearly his partner’s reaction was unexpected. But then Robin noticed the red web-like lines of blood crawling across Batman’s left shoulder. He craned his neck to see the wretched state of ripped flesh against the torn black fabric of the left shoulder blade.

The Dark Knight released a sudden groan of pain and dropped Robin. It was the boy’s turn to grab onto the other for given support. Batman was trying to hold it in but a sudden muttering of curse words flew from his lips. Robin pulled his friend’s arm around his neck, trying to stagger under the weight of the tall man.

“It’s all right! You’re going to be fine,” he tried to say in a reassuring voice. It was a poor optimistic approach to the damage. Dragging his feet wearily, the Dark Knight allowed Robin to lead him to the Batmobile. His back arched and Batman sank to his knees this time.

Robin brought his arms under Batman’s own and dragged him backwards, tugging as hard as he could to pull the man into the car. The sooner they got home, the better.

“Batmobile, Auto-pilot,” Robin commanded into the speakers. The car zoomed off into the inky dark streets of the night.

He glanced at Batman but the man was looking straight ahead, his features hard and cold as iron. His mouth was fiercely calm and the silence was overpowering the by. Guilt was eating into Robin’s emotions. The man was probably never going to use the left side of his upper body, all because he had to save his life.

Who benefits?

“Her name was Terra. She was gifted with tremendous power and cursed with it as well,” Beast Boy recited carefully.

“She was a good friend and a dangerous enemy,” he added. The green skinned changeling took a deep breath and finally, let it all out. Tears trickled out of his dark green eyes and ran down his skin like rain across the windowpanes.

“And she was one of the bravest person I had ever known,” Beast Boy stuttered, trying to swallow the bile in his throat.

Robin watched Starfire lay down the bouquet of roses at Terra’s feet.

They turned to leave, but Beast Boy’s knees bent as his heart did and he fell to the ground. The changeling’s face was buried in his hands and his faint sobs were heard all over the ravine.

“Beast Boy,” Starfire said gently. She knelt beside him along with Cyborg and Raven. Gently, the red headed girl laid her hands around Beast Boy’s shoulders. The smaller teen found himself in her fragrant embrace and allowed his head to be cradled by Starfire’s arms like a frightened child.

“Terra, I loved you,” he sobbed aloud. “Why? Why did you have to go?”

Robin looked on at him then lifted his head back to the stone statue of the girl. A TEEN TITAN, read the plague. She been their trusted friend and blessing, had beaten the crap out of them, and finally saved them all from a hell river of bubbling lava. Terra found her resting place inside that holocaust of a fire and was no longer in pain.

As the other Titans walk away, I cannot help but feel the old wounds of hatred start to
open up again and burn. They shouldn’t dare to believe that my enemy is dead. I know it will take more than this Aftershock to kill him.

So he has corrupted this girl and now she suffers for his crimes, trying to kill us as his personal puppet and servant. Little did she knew that he was the one that molded her like a perfect piece of pottery in his hands. I knew I could not forgive him for making me into his apprentice.

Now I can’t forgive myself for making this disaster happen.

Terra. . . why?

Damn you, Slade.

Damn you for causing her to be like this. And damn you for making her break Beast Boy’s heart. And damn you a thousand times for trying to fracture my team again.

Who benefits?

“Tell me, Robin. Are you in pain?” Slade suddenly whispered breathlessly into his face.

“Yes . . . .” Robin breathed weakly.

“Would you like the pain to stop?” he asked.

Robin was silent, mute as a shut up music box. No lies, no masks. This monster in front of him can see right through Robin. Its crystal clear that the boy is suffering. His mask is really not doing him any good right now.

“Poor little Robin,” the voice crooned, soothing and entrancing. His ears were straining to hear the tiniest inkling of pity. His muscles ever so carefully began to relax from the words, his eyelids growing heavy from the endless burden of nightmares.

“Poor little boy. . .” Slade’s melting voice flowed over Robin. The liquid silver suddenly hit contact with reality and hardened into brittle ice.

The large hand grabbed Robin’s wrist and bent his arm back over his head sharply, grinding his joints together far too much.

KFT!

Robin screamed, utterly positive that his joint had just been snapped into two. A sharp stinging sensation had shot up his arm and spread across his chest. The boy rolled over against the wall, burying his injured arm inside of his cape.

“You’ve broken your wings.”

He was grabbed by the lapels again, his arms and legs dangling helplessly in the air like a wooden puppet.

“Would you like the pain to stop?” he repeated ever so carefully, each word deliberately placed into Robin’s mind.

Robin didn’t want to answer him or admit defeat. A year ago, he’d never even dream of begging before Slade. He’d rather die than cower at his enemy’s feet. But finally, the word on the tip of Robin’s tongue trickled out, along with a thin line of salty red blood.

“Yes.”

Please, give me one tiny spark of a reason why I should live.

No more than two stories abouve his head, Raven’s amethyst eyes snapped open and she gasped for breath. She had barely scratched the surface of his mind and already seen far too much. No wonder he always masked himself like that. . .Robin was trying to shut out all of his nightmares. The falling in the circus tent . . .the candelight in the fluttering bat-filled cave, and endless shots of Slade all warped in his head.

“Where is Robin!” Starfire asked her, every fiber in her body quivering with fear. “Why is he not victorious?”

Raven pursed up her lips and tried to probe out Robin again. But all she felt was a thick black vortex sucking up Robin like a vacuum. He just couldn’t stop it from taking him, not yet.

“Robin is alive, is he not?” Starfire nearly screamed in Raven’s face. Raven nodded but frowned. “He won’t stay alive at this rate.”

Starfire gasped and felt the ball of ice in her stomach rise into her throat. She grabbed the dark haired girl’s shoulders and started to shake Raven hystericly. “Why?”

“I don’t think he wants to survive,” Raven suddenly shouted back in despair. “What can I do about it? I can’t keep Robin’s own heart rate up-that’s HIS decision!”

Starfire’s eyes began to blaze the green fire of righteous fury. Instead of pouring out thick beams of emerald light, the hot tears of pain streamed down her face and she drove her fists into the wall. The girl shut her eyes and screamed out his name:

“ROBIN!”

Groggily, he lifted his head. His name had been heard, echoing all over the metal walls. Maybe it was just a dream. . .

Robin, please don’t die! We need you, Robin!

Starfire would never accept the horrific image of Robin being smashed up by Slade’s brutal hands. He had taken Robin away from her once. She would not let it happen again, EVER! Her hands wrenched into the ground and ripped off a sheet of metal as easily as paper.

Robin, I know that Slade can destroy you. But don’t destroy yourself for caring about us! There has always been a greater scheme, another reason. .

We’ve learned so much together, Robin. And not just how your beautiful planet Earth works, but how life revolves and turns around every day. You have made every day of my life so precious, I have not had a day regretted of being a Teen Titan.

You believe in me, Robin. Please, learn to believe in yourself.

Robin began to pray. Inside of his mind, he had created his own sanctuary to turn into when the turmoil of the outside world sought to destroy him. And in that place, he would always remember the people that had made such a difference in his lives.

The Flying Graysons, his mother and father.

Batman, his teacher, parent, and guardian.

The Titans, his comrades, allies, and friends.

If they could not hear Robin, then perhaps Robin could hear them. His mind strained to conduct a bit of sanity in this hurricane. In the eye of the storm, he was looking for help. There was a man who was so much like Robin. He had also lost his parents. He had also felt the burn of revenge and hatred in his chest. But instead of letting the feelings eat him up alive, that man turned his anger into a safeguard.

Robin was taught to do the same thing. Use your emotions to protect yourself. Don’t let them destroy you. You’ve lost so much in your life, but will you lose faith in yourself?

“I was generous with you, Robin,” Slade provoked him. “I had been willing to give you everything and anything as my apprentice. I would have treated you like a son, taught you every trick in the book, every fight maneuver ever mastered. I could have made you into a man.”

Another clenched fist was blown across Robin’s face and blood went spurting out of his nose, streaming across his face. “But you threw it all away to stay a child.”

“You are not my father,” Robin mumbled thickly through the blood.

Gloved fingers tried to plug up the flow of blood, but his hands were drive backwards and Slade slammed his against the wall. Robin’s brain thrashed and thousands of tiny stars winked in his head. He was sure his heart was going to stop beating any second now.

However, he is not going down without a fight. And he will ask his mentor for help, the one that taught him what a safeguard really is:

”Father, please give me the strength to carry on.” Robin thought in his mind.

Please give me wings to fly.

Help me find light within this darkness.

Darkness?

Come on, come on, detective. Use that brain of yours, its all that you have. You haven’t got any superpowers but you’ve got a decent amount of gray matter, right? Wrack those damn brains and come to your senses! This is your mind and your body. Why are you deliberately handing it over to Slade so he can bury you in the ground!

“Every dark corner of my mind,” Robin muttered aloud. Slowly, the genius mind began to work its magic. The gears in Robin’s head that had just been paralyzed with fear were slowly rotating again and makings sparks of illumination go off inside of him.

I am the thing that haunts every dark corner of your mind.

“Dark corner. . . my mind,” he repeated lout. And then, reality hit him like a ton of bricks. Ironically, it also felt like an enormous overwhelming weight had just been lifted from his chest.

“You’re only in the dark!” he shouted.

That was all he had to know. Robin’s hand came to the lever. The dark figure lunged for him, but now he had the truth to drive it against as a sword to slay the nightmare.

The lights flashed on and the vision of Slade vaporized before Robin’s eyes.

“Lights out, Slade,” he muttered.

-S-

Two hours later:

Nursing his injuries and still brooding over the events of the night, Robin’s train of thought was interrupted by a sudden tapping noise at his door.

A rather fidgety looking Cyborg and Beast Boy stood in the doorway.,

“Um, Rob?” Beast Boy said, scratching his left ear nervously. “Sorry if you were sleeping.”

“I wasn’t,” he stated out flatly.

“Well uh, there’s um, a big guy with horns on his head,” Beast Boy stammered as he brought an index finger behind each ear, wagging them back and forth.

Robin frowned. “What?” he demanded. “What are you talking about?”

“Big man. All in black,” Cyborg said. “And he’s on the roof right now. He wants to talk to you.”

Robin groaned and his head hung low. The last thing he needed was coaching from Gotham’s most frightening person. After being haunted, he did not want to be disciplined. However, Robin has learned that are certain things one does not do in life.

One of rules is the following: Do not ignore the Dark Knight when he makes a house call. He will stay and glare at someone like a hawk until they break like an egg and tell him what he wants. He is tough and hard as iron to get what he wants from someone.

Even as hard as . . . . Slade? Robin’s last thought nagged at him and he quickly pushed it out of his mind. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad, and he’d have something to distract him from the haunting fights of just earlier on.

“Who is he?” Beast Boy nearly shouted, waving his hands up and down madly.

Wearily, Robin got to his feet.

“He’s the Batman,” he muttered.

-A-

Robin had to remind himself that he would have to thank Raven, for no doubt she was the one keeping everyone else out of this private conversation. As much as Robin hated to push away Starfire, he just needed to be alone this once.

The thundering rain had finally stopped leaving a saturated Jump City. In the far off distance, the trees quivered and shook down a few raindrops from time to time. The pavement on the roof still had spots of watery puddles here and there. A faint tingling smell that comes after the rain drifted around Robin along with the cool wind.

Night suited Batman very well. He could always blend into the shadows as easily as darkness swallowed everything else. But Robin was different. He did well in both night and day. His brooding demure was fine for Gotham’s slum streets and Jump City’s high roofs. But his bright red and green uniform was an echo of earlier years, of hoping around in a lively pursuito f adventure.

Is it all just a thrill? Is it all just an adventure? Robin felt as soaked and washed out as the rest of the city. Everything tumbled out of Robin’s mouth as he poured it all out to Batman. From the start to the very end, all the details. Never once did Batman interrupt but listened attentively with his gloved thumb and index finger holding his chin.

Robin told it all; the betrayal that began with Red X, the mousetrap that turned into his apprenticeship, the rising of the Teen Titan known as Terra, and finally the betrayal turned redemption just before tonight’s chaos.

At last, the Dark Knight lowered his hand and gazed at the young man. Robin was sitting on the ground, his hands brought tightly to the sides of his body.

“Are you all right?” he asked quietly. Robin shook his head and kept his face turned down.

“No, no I’m not all right,” he said through gritted teeth. The rumbling in the back of his throat was already getting ready to roar and Bruce knew he was about to explode.

“DAMNIT!” Robin screamed at the top of his lungs, beating his fists into the concrete.

“If I wasn’t such a careless leader, if I didn’t have this stupid mask over my emotions,” he said bitterly through a shaking head, trying to fight back the tears.

“Protect your feelings, Robin,” he started to say. But the boy was just bleeding with anger and frustration, too furious to listen to his mentor.

“I tried to be a decent person and look what happened; one of our team members turned traitor because of him. I just couldn’t save her. None of us could. What the hell do I say to that!” he asked out loud, knowing there wasn’t even going to be a sufficient answer.

“You say you learned,” Batman said.

“Shut up!” Robin snapped at him. “What difference does that make! Terra’s dead and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. My team thinks I’m out of my mind for running after this monster. Is that so hard for you to understand?”

Tears oozed out from under his mask, seeping from his eyelids and landing on the concrete that was still moist from the rain.

“I’m just like everybody else on this planet! I have a power I can never use to save people!”

“It’s not your duty to save the world,” he said.

“Well if I won’t, then who will?” Robin snarled at Batman. “Not you, remember? This is MY team, not yours. Don’t you dare think I’m still that little sappy kid you can boss around. Don’t tell me what to do.”

“You’ve learned enough from your mistakes,” Batman said. Hell knows how astonished he was to hear that teenagers had broken into Wayne Enterprise last year. It didn’t matter that things were taken, obviously he had enough money to cover the damages. What surprised him was that the Titans were acting bizarre.

The video cameras had shown them fighting on the roof all around the WAYNE letters before four of them started thrashing on the ground in pain. Rather than contact Robin and annoy him with parental questions, Bruce resisted the urge to shout and demanded that he sleep on his anger. It was not until Robin’s progress report came that Bruce was given the whole picture and the entire story. And the first letter was A for apprentice:

By far, the villains of Jump City are nothing in comparison to Gotham, which is why I find it easier to be a leader and stop them. Oh sure, Mumbo Jumbo has his annoying tricks but he’s not the psychopath that Joker can be. Kitten sure rubbed me the wrong way but she didn’t intend to claw me to pieces like Catwoman. Dr. Light likes shiny precious jewels but its Penguin that can raise an army tough as hell to finish the job.

There is one exception to all of these people, one person that I have faced in Jump City that I cannot stop.

This time, its personal.

You are Robin, the Boy of Wonder and the leader of the Teen Titans. You are usually controlled, optimistic, and gifted with wit when it comes to crime fighting. When it comes to villains in town, you can bring every single one of them down.

Except for one.

And the problem is that this person has me under his control.

Slade’s arm extends and I see the trigger in it. My mouth is frozen in mute fear as I realize the severity of the situation. He literally has the Titans in the palm of his hand.

He cuts down efficiently to what his demands are; I serve him, or bury my friends.

“So, do we have a deal?” he says, a somewhat optimistic note in his voice. I can sense he is smirking behind his mask.

I was also wearing a mask over my emotions. I could feel tingling flames crawling through my skin at the disgust of this “bargain”. What I wanted nothing less to do was to smash his face into the wall, but instead I was here to obey him. My face remained as controlled as I could possibly bear it. I was not going to give in or flinch as of yet.

“Yes.”

His eye alone reveals the great pleasure that is in store. The leader of the Teen Titans has been brought down to serve a new master. He gives me a new uniform molded after his own and I try to hide the disgust that quivers in my chest. Ice cold steel guards for my shins and wrists, a metal collar, and black leather finish it. There is even another mask, one with the ends curved up in a sinister glare.

Before I could say anything, a small beeping noise emulated from my utility belt.

“Robin? Robin! Please respond!” Starfire’s high energetic voice crackled in the air. Her voice was tense and urgent.

“Shut that thing off,” he ordered me. I pursed up my lips but did as I was told. My hand came to the precious communicator and I hit the deactivation button.

“Robin, please, you must answer. Robin, where are you?”

They probably thought I was lost or captured. Oh Starfire, if only you knew how lost and imprisoned I am. . .

I remove my old uniform and drape it over a pipe. It hangs limp like a body without a soul inside. The new uniform is slick and fits me like a second suit, as if the black leather alone wants to cling to me and hold me in control. I snap on the wrist guards and fasten the collar.

“I know it seems bad now, but trust me,” he says as he circles me.

“You’ll learn. . to like it.” I waited until he left the room and I was standing in pitch black darkness.

The fury that had been churning inside of me wanted to give way. I hated him, and myself, to the tenth degree. I sank to my knees and drove my leather clad fists into the concrete.

"Robin . . . you. . . idiot" I told myself over and over again. "You idiot! How could you walk into a trap like that"

"Didn’t you see it coming, how obviously he wanted you to get so overworked that you’d come willingly? Why else would Cinderblock be holding that damned palm map? It was an invitation and you walked right into the lion’s den."

I drove my hands against the ground again and again until my fists felt numb and raw. Finally, my forehead touched the hard cold concrete and I lay there, brewing in my fury.

Well done, Boy of Wonder. . You’ve finally done it: You’ve finally found the answer to the great question: “What does he want?”

Its all about you: he wants to control you, to undo everything that makes you a Titan and transform you into a criminal.. And you’ve figured out that great damned mystery that’s been nagging at you ever since Gizmo mentioned his name.

Congratulations, Robin. You’ve solved the mystery.

“Y-You, you’re just like him,” Robin argued at the silent statue of a man. “You and your stone cold heart! You never show any emotions or feelings, you just order me around,” the boy hollered.

How did the old saying go? “Sticks and stones can break my bones. . .”

The tall man kept his lips sealed for two seconds. Even the slightest word can tip the scales dangerously in the wrong directions.

“Robin, just because people aren’t crying on the outside doesn’t mean they’re not crying on the inside.” He took a step closer to the boy and extended a hand.

“Doesn’t make a difference in the end,” Robin said. “She’s gone.”

“Robin, it made all the difference in the world that you brought Terra into your lives,” Batman said in an abrupt firm sharp tone that Robin did not dare argue with .

“You helped a person with deadly powers redeem her life with one last action. That teenaged girl could have gone on with destruction and danger in her life for who knows how long. Terra was suffering but you at last helped her find peace and justice within herself. If that’s not worth anything, then you may as well have never met her.”

Robin still seemed hesitant so Batman went on.

“Or imagine the worst scenario possible: What if Slade had corrupted her from the very start? What if Terra never had a chance to knew the Titans and was sent in to five strangers to pull apart? Terra could have killed all of the Titans without so much as a second thought.”

“I blame myself for the sins of others,” Robin sighed. “And I blame myself. I’m sorry that I stole from Wayne Enterprise.”

Not this, the Dark Knight can’t tolerate it. It’s bad enough when the criminals try to get defensive and feign innocence. It sickens him how the black try to whitewash themselves. But having Robin force himself behind bars, putting a burden onto his own wings and condemning himself to a life of torture is beyond wrong. It is destruction.

“For goodness sake, Robin!” he shouted out loud. The breaking change of his usually calm controlled voice almost made Robin jump. “Do you think I care about some ridiculous mechanical contraption from my company? What matters to me is that you are safe and alive right now.”

“Will you do something for me?” Robin asked suddenly.

“Anything.”

“Take me away from here,” Robin begged. “Take me away from Jump City and let me go back to Gotham with you. I can’t stay in a place where I’m haunted. He’ll always be there, watching me-“

“Robin,” his mentor put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. Deep blue eyes glinted out of the slits in his cowl. “Even if you were to leave, your fears would follow you.”

“When you are frightened by inner turmoil, there is no where you can hide. Return to Gotham City and you will still be haunted, still tormented by your nightmares. There is only one thing you can do: face it.”

“But I’m not strong enough,” he insisted.

“Yes, you are,” his mentor said firmly. “It is because you are so strong that your enemy is trying to break you. He knows that you have overcome other obstacles and wants to stop you again.”

Robin’s lower lip curled up and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“But this time its different. . .” he moaned. “It was more real than anything else I’ve known, but it wasn’t real at all.”

Illusions. Tormentation. Nightmares. They were all familiar with the Dark Knight.

“You have to face your own demons.”

“Robin.” The boy looked up and saw the deep blue eyes, the ones that made the cowards more fearful yet the heroes more courageous.

"You know who it is and what it is you fight against. You fight against Slade, you fight against your fears, your loses, your anger" he insisted.

The man pressed somethingf irmly into Robin's palm and slowly turned over his fingers to insure that Robin was holding the object tightly.

"But this is what you fight for."

Robin opened up his hand and looked down. The white T incirled with a gold metal band looked up at him. His Teen Titan communicator.

Robin sucked in a breath, unable to stop another wave of tears from rolling down his cheeks. The words were the most imperial; the most dignified and trusted ones that could come from his mentor’s lips. He had been looking into the dark so long that he hardly knew the colors that were left in the sky. Everything looked black at night But in daybreak, he'd see the yellow sun, blue sky, and the green trees. There was laughter and friendship that he cherished and wanted to protect. That was just what he was fighting for. He could see four reasons to carry on and four people that made every day worthwhile to try again:

And their names were Starfire, Cyborg, Raven, and Beast Boy.

There always had to be a reason to try again. It was his nature to spread his wings and continue to fly even in the rainstorms. Whenever things looked too difficult for the Titans, Robin did not throw in the towel. They would re-plan, re-group, and re-organize.

Terra was gone, yes. One Titan had left them. Yet more survived. Not even just his four friends, but also the others. Speedy, Aqualad, and Bumblebee were there too. So maybe, just this once, it was worth it to hand out another communicator and open up your hand to someone in need.

“I thought I would use this,” Bruce said slowly as he removed something from his utility belt. “But now I see that fate has other plans in mind.”

It looked like a small silver disk rimmed with blue, much like the batterangs that he used. Turning it over, Robin noticed a small button and he pressed down on it with his thumb. Then he gasped.

The light beam that emulated from the disk was slim, but strong and powerful. On and on the ray of white seemed to pour out, sending surging strength into Robin’s once weak arms. He raised the beam above his head like a knight drawing out his sword, watching its light shoot out farther and farther like a shooting star, a never ending ray of hope.

The light was the finest, the purest shade of sacred diamond crystal-like light that sent its beam soaring up, up, and up out from the roof of the Titan’s Tower. The beam went searching past the clouds that were finally parting, until it seemed to touch the faint silvery watery tips of the moon that at last had come out after the rainstorm.

All it takes is a bit of light to banish a great deal of darkness.

Robin pocketed the laser flashlight and looked up. He blinked twice, but lo and behold, his former partner was gone. The Dark Knight is something of a black ghost; he comes and goes as he wishes. One is fortunate to have just ten minutes before the elusive phantom heads off.

The Titans came running to the roof later on with a stream of babbling questions for him; did Robin really work in Gotham City? Does that man eat demons for breakfast? How did he handle it when he knew that Robin had been temporarily a villain?

The questions do no matter any longer. In time, he will tell them. Time will tell all in the future. Robin takes a deep breath and lifts his head up to the smooth silvery crescent moon. He promises Terra, he promises his parents, and everyone else that is sleeping tonight, that he will not give up. Robin leaves the faint cool night air and departs into the warm lit up tower for the night.

Oh Robin. . .

It’s just a large world out there and you are just one person. Is it your job to save the world? Perhaps not. But can you try your best? Most certainly yes. The best you can do is to start with your four friends and your home in that beautiful T shaped tower. The best you can do is make your father proud. And the best you can do is believe in yourself.

And as long as you do the best you can, you will always succeed wherever you go in life.

Who benefits? You do.

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."

-Christopher Reeve (1952-2004)