A/N: HI FOLKS :sits down and starts crying: who am I fooling nobodies reading this shit why do I continue :crys more: boohoo :stops: . Hehehehe. Oh yeah and I rated this pg13 because 12 yr olds talk like truckdrives so why should i care. Ya know lots of cursing. Ramdom fact: "It's A Small World" is officially the most annoying song. Reader's Digest Told me that.

Chapter 2: When your Evil.

By: Goddess Diana

Chapter Quote: "Am I too lost to be saved?"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE DID YOU MEAN BY THAT SONG?" Arwen shouted. "Just what I said Arwen," Aragorn replied calmly. "Do you remember the very first time we met? HUH? I told you were beautiful and I thought I was in love," he continued anger growing in his voice, "and you… YOU LAUGHED AT ME, REMEMBER THAT ARWEN!"

At the table an Elf, looking to be about twenty in human comparisons, slide gracefully in to a sat at the circular table next to Gimli. "So, how do you think she'll kill him?" The elf asked. "I think she'll cut off his head." Gimli answered. "No she'll feed him to a warg." Eowyn said putting in her 'two cents.'(1) "I think she gorge out his eye, then rip out his tongue, then cut off all of his limbs, then…" The whole table stared at Faramir. "What" he ask. "Dear, I think you have some unresolved issues." Eowyn said. Faramir returned to his former pouting state. "Well, anyway, Arwen's not one for so much blood, I would say she would use poison in his ale." The elf said as Aragorn flopped unceremoniously down next to Faramir. "What are you four talking about?" he asked. "How Arwen is going to kill you." The elf replied. "Legolas, that's NOT funny!" the dark haired human replied. "Anyway, what took you so long to get here, Prince." "Kaymen(2)." Legolas answered biting down on a roll as the table fell quite.

"Ok then, now that every things settled down, we'll get on with the show." Leo said getting the crowds attention. "Next up we have, Lord Voldemort, He's singing Voltaire's 'When Your Evil.' No dedication." A tall scary looking man wearing wizards robes, in walk to stage. "L-lord Voldemort I presume." Leo said slinking away from the man. "you are correct." He answered. "Ok begin."

The song began with a violin. and had a chorus that consisted of "And it's so easy when you're evil. This is the life, you see The Devil tips his hat to me I do it all because I'm evil. And I do it all for free, Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need." When he finished the song the whole crowd wastoo scared to move. So he left. "Ok next is …a – a v-vampire." "Aren't you going to introduce me, hon?" said a young woman in the back. "O-of c-course," Leo stuttered "this is Nightengale(3) form the vampire alley singing, ironically, a song call Vampire Club and it's by Voltaire, again." "Thank you hansom." She said up on stage, seemingly with out walking, in a slip second. "hey don't be afraid, I won't bit." She said with a sinister grin placing an almost gentle hand on the frightenedhostsarm. "O-ok-k. so are you one those vamps that only kill 'sinner'?" he asked. " No, I just meant I won't eat you. I drink from all and all I care for is blood. I've had my fill for the night" "ok so who's Voltaire?" " the COOLEST Goth singer" with that he left the stage and she sang:

"Oh, the moon was full

And the color of blood

The night the pirates came

To the Vampire Club.

Their leader was tall and snide and slim

He looked like a gay Captain Morgan.

Well, he recognized a Vampire

From his school

And he did something that was

Most uncool, he said,

"Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape"

His name's Bernie Weinstein

And he's in the 8th grade""

She seemed to be really love the song and could but get in to the music.

Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.

The number one rule in this game:

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club."

Missi lost a fang in the ladies room

And we all laughed and called her 'Snaggletooth"

And Dee was made cause he broke his cane

And he flushed his contacts down the drain

There was so much angst after the fight

Vlad and Akasha broke up that night

While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo

That used to be "Father" you-know-who!

Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.

The number one rule in this game:

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club."

Well, its hard to believe but we're still around

And when we hang out it's upside down

Dressed in black from toe to head singing,

"Bela Lugosi's still undead"

A gaggle of goths is a peaceful site

We'd do anything to avoid a fight

But if you really want to see some gore and blood

Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club

Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.

The number one rule in this game:

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club.""

she tossed the mic on the floor and walked back to her friend in the back, "Lets blow the joint." Her friend nodded and they left. Aragorn turn back to face his friend at the table. "that was weird." "yeah, and what's a vampire?" Legolas asked. " I don't know, but I was wondering who the hell the devil is" Faramir replied.

TBC

Footnotes:

(1) Do they have Cents in Middle-Earth? I don't think they do. I think they have a different type of coinage there.

(2)Kaymen is from a to come story based on a dream I had. He's Legolas' son but don't worry he's not marry, the women died gives birth and Legolas became the over protective father no-one knew he could be. I am still working on writing it.

(3) Nightengale is my character in the Vampires! The DarkAlleyway, An RPG. go to the link on my profile(not my home page) to play.