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Books » Harry Potter » Pass the Snogberries
dress without sleeves
Author of 314 Stories
Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Reviews: 59 - Published: 02-01-05 - id:2245471
Author's Note:I don't know what happened to me. I couldn't help it, I had to write this. And so here it is. And it won't go away. Never! Muahaha!

Right - sorry. Read on, then. :P

Pass The Snogberries

Ginny knew that it was going to be a Bad Day. She knew it from the moment she opened her eyes. The sun was too bright, Hermione was moaning in her sleep about the N.E.W.T.s (a sure sign that she would want to talk about them later), and her mother couldn't be heard downstairs, humming and singing as she cooked breakfast.

This depressed Ginny, somewhat. Because she loved to hear her Mum's voice in the mornings. It was husky and not all that great, but she was so used to it that it seemed like something was missing if the morning didn't start with it.

She sighed and rolled out of bed.

"Good morning, Gin." She scowled at a sleepy Harry Potter as he joined her in the hallway.

"What's so good about it?" She asked grouchily. "It's going to be a Bad Day. I know it. I wish I'd never gotten up this morning! I hate my life! I hate everything!"

Harry arched a regal eyebrow. "Glad I got that out of my system," Ginny chirped, suddenly feeling much happier. (As Harry looked irresistibly cute with one eyebrow raised. Ginny wondered if she could managed to raise just one eyebrow. Harry cocked his head, confused, because she must have looked ridiculous, with her face all contorted as she attempted the feat.)

The door to Ron's room swung open. Bleary-eyed, Ron blinked rapidly and swore. "Sun. Bright. Morning. Hungry. Food? Where?"

Ginny grinned. Ron wasn't exactly a morning person. "Yes, the sun is bright. Good morning to you, too. No food in the house, Mum's sending us to eat apples."

"Want. Food. Where?"

"Ron, I told you. No food."

"Why?"

"Fred and George ate it all. But Hermione did promise to lock herself in a very hot room, strip naked, and lie on the table as the centerpiece for breakfast, so you'd better get there before Charlie - " She was talking to a Ron-less hallway.

She smiled. "Funny, for a Bad Day, this has been a very nice morning."

Harry shook his head. "I didn't know you were such a morning person, Miss Weasley."

"You don't know a lot of things about me," Ginny answered vaguely.

Like how I rather fancy pinning you to a wall and snogging you until your brain oozes out of your ears. Although I don't know why it would do that. But it might.

But because she had a feeling Harry might stare at her blankly for a few moments and therefore an awkward, embarrassing silence to crash down on her pretty little head, she kept that little fact to herself.

After all, it wouldn't do for Harry to know everything. Then Harry would tell Ron where the stash of strawberries was and then he would eat them all. (Ron, that is.) And that would be utterly depressing.

Harry gave her funny look and followed her into the kitchen doorway. Ron was looking wildly about, yelling, "Hermione? Hermione? Are you naked yet?"

Which was pretty funny, considering.

Harry grinned at her and she returned it before plopping down at the table. "Hmm, maybe she's already come and gone. Charlie's an early riser and you never know with Hermione, so maybe he got to her first - "

Ron took off running, his voice thundering down the steps - "CHARLIE! DON'T TOUCH HER!"

Ginny collapsed into helpless laughter. "Honestly, what a twerp," she mused, happily grabbing a bagel. "Does he honestly believe Hermione would do something like that?"

Harry shrugged and copied her movements. "Pass the cream cheese, please." She tossed it to him and leaned back, putting her feet on the tabletop. "So, Ginny," he said conversationally, taking a bite out of his breakfast. "Wrmph arm your plamfs fr tumdai?"

She blinked. "Er...sorry?"

Harry swallowed and then laughed. "Sorry - I said, 'What are your plans for today?'"

Ginny looked woefully at her toes and wiggled them. "I have very nice feet, don't you think?" She asked. "My best feature." She sighed and shrugged. "No plans. It will be a Bad Day, so I'm just waiting for doom to crash down on me."

The green-eyed boy laughed and relaxed into his chair. "Say, d'you have any strawberries? I'm in the mood this morning. Can't explain it, really, I just have this insatiable craving for strawberries."

Ginny nodded and stood, padding over to the cupboards. "You can't tell Ron about this," she said sternly. "He'll eat them all and they're my favorite. So do you promise?"

Harry, perplexed, nodded. The redhead pulled out a bowl of deliciously ripe strawberries and brought it back to the table. "There you go."

Harry smiled at her and studied one. "Mmm," he declared. "Looks better than Aunt Petunia's."

Hermione stumbled in, looking positively terrified. "Ginny! Harry!" She wailed. "Ron's going to kill Charlie! I don't know why; I was coming out of his room because he'd lent me this book on Magical Creatures that I was returning and he went completely spare! All of a sudden he let out this growl and charged into Charlie's room and - why are you laughing?"

Ginny tried to hide her chuckled behind her hand but gave up, shaking her head ruefully. "Never you mind, Hermione, I'll deal with it. You just sit here and... eat strawberries."

Hermione nodded, still frazzled, and fell into the chair.

Ginny hurried up the steps and followed the shouts to Charlie's room. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"

"SHE'S YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU, YOU SICK BASTARD -"

"RON, CALM DOWN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT?"

Ginny slammed her fist into the door. "Ron, Charlie! Open up!"

"Hold on a minute, Ginny - you never know what Charlie might try to do to a young, innocent girl like you!"

She made a face. "Ew, Ron. That's gross. Now stop yelling and come out here, please."

"Ginny, stay out of - "

"Please, Ron! Help me! Draco Malfoy's come to the Burrow and he's trying to snog me!" The door opened quicker than Ginny could blink. Ron was fuming, and Ginny sighed. "All right, that was a lie. But honestly, what is the matter with you?"

Ron glared. "I saw Hermione coming out of Charlie's room this morning, hair all fussed, frazzled, and Charlie was still lying in bed all smug and - "

Ginny snorted. "And you think that Hermione shagged Charlie?"

Ron shook his head vehemently. "No! I think Charlie shagged Hermione!"

Ginny peered over Ron's shoulder at the disgusted looking Charlie. "Whoa, Ron, I would never do that! She's almost as young as Ginny! That's disgusting!"

Ginny sighed. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Charlie," she muttered, before turning back to her distraught older brother. "Ron, I was kidding this morning about Hermione being the centerpiece for the table. And Hermione borrowed one of Charlie's books on Magical Creatures. All right? No torrid love affair."

Ron frowned. "Are ... are you sure?"

She nodded. He sighed and turned sheepishly back to his older brother. "Right. Sorry, mate. I'll just...erm...go?" He hurried past his younger sister before anyone could object. She met Charlie's eyes and the corners of her lips twitched.

"That was not funny," he growled. "Me and Hermione? Ew!"

She just chuckled and gently shut his door, turning and tottering down the hall. She got to the last step when suddenly Harry tumbled out of the kitchen. "Ginny..."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, Harry?" She lay a comforting hand on his arm.

"Ron just said - he said-" Harry stopped and then blinked at her, seeming to come to a realization.

"You're...really pretty," he said slowly. "I mean, really, really pretty."

Ginny gazed blankly up at him. "Uhm. Thanks?"

"Could - could I kiss you?"

She choked on her own spit. "What!"

"Could. I. Kiss. You?"

"Is this some sort of joke? Because Merlin damned, Harry it's not - "

Sniggers. Ginny turned around slowly, her eyes narrowed. "This is your fault, isn't it?"

Fred and George smiled innocently. "Of course not! Why would we do something like enchanting the strawberries into our newest invention - the snogberry - just because we like torturing you and Ron?"

Snogberries.

Oh dear Merlin.

Snogberries.

As in, snog.

After eating berries.

A low, dangerous growl immersed from Ginny's throat. "You idiots! You great, stupid, ugly, emotionally retarded idiots!"

Fred blinked. George blinked. "What's wrong?" They asked in unison. "It's just in good fun, Ginny."

She placed her hands on her hips. "All in good fun!"

They nodded.

Ginny opened her mouth to yell at them when Charlie tumbled past her, into the kitchen. There was an angry yell and Ron stormed out. "Ginny!" He shrieked, "You said Hermione didn't love Charlie!"

She arched an eyebrow. "She...doesn't?"

"Then why are they snogging!"

Slowly, but surely, Ginny turned to face the twins. "Why don't you ask them?" She snapped. "Because they seem to find it funny. So why don't you tell Ron why Hermione is snogging the lips off of a man several years her senior, hmm?"

They paled visibly. "Em...actually...I think you ought to do it, Ginny..."

She growled. George put his hands out on front of him to block what he was sure would come. "Er- that is to say, Ron- Hermione ate the strawberries, right? And so did Charlie?"

Ron nodded.

"Then they sort of- feel compelled- to snog the first person that touches them."

Ron's eyes widened with horror and he stepped forward furiously. Ginny suddenly realized that George still had his arms out and they were holding Ron back, and Ron had eaten the - "Oh dear Gods."

Her brother's face had gone dreamy. "This is unconventional, George," he said slowly, "And many people might think it sick, or wrong, but my love is greater than all that, and who cares that we're related? I love everything about you, I love - "

Ginny snickered into her hand. "Think it's funny now, George?"

The boy looked stricken. "Get him away!" He yelped, diving behind Fred.

Ron's eyes glazed. "Don't be like that!" He cried, anguished. "George, don't you get it? I love you! I always have! The things I've dreamed of- well, actually, no, but I'm sure I will dream them- "

Ginny sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. "Harry," she said slowly, "Please help me with these idiots."

He nodded dreamily. "Yeah - sure...anything."

She groaned.

I knew it was going to be a Bad Day. Knew it from the moment I woke up.

"Harry, it's a little disconcerting, you staring at me like that."

The green-eyed wizard blushed. " 'M s'rry," he mumbled. "It's just - you're really pretty and it's - sort of - distracting."

She blushed. "Yes, well. This ought to teach the twins not to charm the strawberries, shouldn't it?"

Harry sighed. "I s'pose."

Ginny blinked suddenly. "Oh dear Merlin. Did you listen to my last statement? Harry, I've become my mother! I knew this day would come! She's been trying to convert me since the day I was born and - wait. Wait! Where is Ron? I just need to take the mickey out of him and all this will be better- "

Harry arched an eyebrow. "That so?"

"Yes."

"GINNY!" Both turned at the sound of a distraught Hermione. "Ginny, help me! I was just snogging Charlie! I don't know what got into me, but it's like whenever I'm in the same room as him I can't help it, I throw myself in his - does this mean I'm in love with him? But that can't be, I'm in love with Ron!"

Harry coughed into his hand. "I don't seem to have it as badly as you."

"Charlie ate the strawberries, too, so when Hermione kissed him- "

"- he felt the effects. Gotcha. So it's working both ways now. Well, we could always just lock Hermione in her bedroom. What about Ron? Where is he?"

Hermione shuddered. "I...I hate to say it, but I think I saw him...chasing after...George?"

Ginny snickered. "Yes, well, serves the snarky bastard right. Ah, well. Shall we, Harry?"

The poor boy shook his head. "Ginny- I can't go with you. This snogberry thing is driving me nuts and I don't think I can restrain- "

"Right, gotcha, of course, gotta go, bye!"

The redhead dashed away from Harry. Incidentally, she slammed into a wall. (But she'd already turned a corner, so no one saw.) She was in the kitchen. George was looking petrified, standing on the counter as Ron was hugging his legs in a decidedly Dobby fashion.

"Ginny, help me," he pleaded.

"George, don't be like this, please, we can be happy if you'll just snog me once, you'll see- "

George's frightened eyes met Ginny's, and she glared back at him. "It's your own damn fault," she snapped. "Now, where is- "

"Mmm, these are excellent!"

"Bill, no!"

Ginny reached out, trying to keep Bill from swallowing a snogberry. She slammed his back with her fist, but he ignored the warning. "What?" He asked, perplexed. "Am I not allowed?" She backed up slowly.

"Don't. Touch. Anyone," she ordered firmly. "What you just ate is called a 'snogberry'. George and Fred's oh-so-wonderful invention that, unfortunately, means the first person that touches you is someone you want to snog desperately. Take note of George and Ron."

Bill snorted at the pair. "I thought they were just fooling around!"

Ginny shook her head, sighing. "Nope. Ron is genuinely trying to get his own brother to snog him."

"That's slightly disturbing."

"You're telling me."

The two paused for a moment. Bill sighed. "So, I'll just go sit alone in my room, then?" Ginny nodded miserably.

She turned around to fix the Ron-George situation, when suddenly George burst out, "Try feeding him another berry! That way he won't touch me and everything will be better!"

It was a good idea.

Why didn't I think of that?

She grabbed a snogberry and hurried over to her brother. "Hey, Ron, you hungry?"

He snatched it and shoved it into his mouth. George ripped his legs from Ron's grip and dashed out of the kitchen. Ron blinked several times, a bit dazed. "Ginny... please tell me that I wasn't just trying to get George to snog me."

"Yes, you were."

Ron groaned. "Hermione probably hates me now."

"She's too busy worrying about why she was snogging Charlie- but that's unimportant. Just... go touch her arm, or something, that way at least you're attracted to someone you genuinely like."

"But what if it ruins our friendship?"

"If you're so worried about that, then go touch George again, yeah?" Ron winced.

"No, thank you!"

"Then go on! And don't touch anyone else!"

Ginny knew it was going to be a Bad Day. But she didn't know it was going to be a Horrible Day until Bill returned the kitchen and bumped into Ron. She shut her eyes slowly, breathed once, and darted between the two brothers.

"Okay, that's just disgusting. I need someone who hasn't eaten anything! Damnit, Bill!" She pushed Bill out of the kitchen, Ron close behind, "Ron, stay put. Bill is going to- erm- put on a teddy."

Ron blinked. Then he grinned.

Ginny winced.

Ew.

She hurried Bill up the steps and into Charlie's room...

...where Hermione was to be found, snogging the living daylights out of him.

"YAGH!" Ginny dropped Bill's hand to separate Hermione and Charlie. "Cut! It! OUT!" She kicked Hermione out (literally) and locked the door. "Charlie! Stop! Just- go hide in a closet or something! Leave the bloody house!" She whirled on Bill. "And you! You leave, too!"

"But Ron- "

"SCREW RON! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!"

Bill winced. "I can't just leave Ron, he'll be heartbroken- "

Ginny growled at him. "Get. Out. Now."

"Bill? Bill? Where are you?"

Her eldest brother's eyes lit up. "Ron! Hurry! She's trying to- "

Ginny grabbed Bill's wand, shoved it into his hands, and snarled, "Apparate out of this house." His eyes looked soulfully into hers, but she put on her best Weasley glare and he sighed.

"I love you, Ron! Don't forget me!"

He apparated. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief. "All right. One down, two to go." She gazed woefully over at Charlie, who was curled up on his bed, looking horrified.

"I can't stop snogging her. I don't understand it. I don't."

Ginny took a deep breath. "You've eaten a snogberry and- oh, sod it, just apparate out of the house and you won't have to worry, all right?"

Charlie nodded, grabbed his wand, and disappeared. Ginny plopped onto the bed, exhausted. "All right. Good. Now- WHAT IS IT, RON?"

"I wasn't just... with...? Was I?"

"Yes, Ron, you were."

"Oh Merlin. Kill me now."

"No, but you can help me kill the twins, if you'd like." The door opened and the horrified redhead poked his head in. Ginny patted the bed beside her. "Okay, now, you've got to help me. Bill's gone, so you're pretty clear-headed. Can you find Hermione?" Ron nodded. "Good. I'll get Harry. Meet me in the kitchen, and we'll try to figure out a way to fix this."

Ron arched an eyebrow. "And the twins?"

Her eyes darkened and her normally pretty face twisted into a scowl. "I'll deal with them. Just you wait."

Her brother had no doubt that she would. He scampered out, and Ginny went to find the Boy-Who-Lived.

As it turned out, he was by the lake. She plopped down beside him, and his gaze didn't flicker to her once. "Harry?" She asked gently. "I really need your help inside, if... if that's okay."

He sighed and turned his woeful eyes to hers. "The thing is, I couldn't say no if I tried."

Ginny bit her lip and looked at her hands. "This is a bit awkward, isn't it?" He nodded. "I- I'm really sorry, Harry. If there was any way that I knew to reverse this, I swear I would. This is horrible. Absolutely horrible. And as soon as I get my claws on Fred and George, I'm going to- "

He chuckled. "I'm not that repulsive, am I?"

"Oh, absolutely."

He grinned. "Gee, thanks." He paused, frowning. "You know... I... I don't know if I would say this if I weren't charmed, but you really are very pretty. At least I think so."

She sighed inwardly. "Yeah, thanks."

"No, I'm serious. I've always thought so. Even when you were this high." He motioned to where she'd been at eleven. She smiled sadly at him and shook her head.

"Be that as it may, we really have to go in. It's only noon and I'm sure Ron and Hermione are getting worried."

He frowned. "What... what if I snogged you? Just once? Would it 'cure' me?" She bit her lip in thought.

Yes. Of course it would. Snog away, Harry. Have your way with me, honestly, I'm willing-

"I don't think it would. But you could- er- try. If you wanted." He grinned at her, although how much of that was the snogberry and how much Harry, Ginny didn't know. And then slowly, achingly slow, he cupped her face with his hand and began to lower his lips to hers-

Sod this!

She reached behind his neck and nearly yanked him down. He captured her mouth and she felt a shiver run through her back- Finally, I've only waited eighteen bloody years- as his lips worked against hers. He ran his tongue along her lower lip and she shivered again, pressing against his chest for warmth.

This is nice.

This is very nice.

He seemed to have the same thought, because he wrapped his arms around her middle and hugged her as close as he could. They tumbled back until she was lying with her back on the ground and him above her, holding himself up by placing his arms on either side of her shoulders

This is amazing. This is brilliant. This is everything I ever imagined.

This isn't real.

They seemed to have the same thought at the same time because they wrenched away from one another, blushing. "Sorry- "

"No, it's my- "

"Should we just?"

"Yes, lets..."

They stood and began to walk back to the Burrow, avoiding one another's eyes. Ginny bit her (somewhat swollen) lip and absently curled a ringlet of hair around her finger. "Harry..."

"Hmm?"

"I- um- that wasn't..."

He glanced over sadly at her. "Yeah. I know."

She paused, thinking. "But... do you think, maybe..." she sighed and collected herself.

Nice kiss smooth felt nice brilliant damn stupid snogberry the taste of forbidden-

"All right, look. Let's be blunt, shall we?" She stopped walking and turned to face him. "It was an awesome kiss. An amazing, superb, brilliant kiss. In fact, I wouldn't have stopped it if I hadn't just happened to pause and think, 'Hey, he's poisoned right now and this isn't real.'"

Harry blushed. "I'm so sorry, I never should have- "

"Harry!" She snapped. "Stop interrupting! Now. Listen. I don't know if you always kiss like that- if you do, why the hell don't you have a girlfriend- but if that was the snogberry, it may be just what Ron and Hermione need."

He brightened. "Hey- you're right!"

"I know."

He grinned. "So we get them to eat the snogberries and touch and then..."

"Exactly."

His smile broadened. "It's perfect! That's what's so great about you, Ginny- you refuse to be miserable and dejected, even when your own brothers are attempting incest." He winked. "This is awesome. I'll meet you there, yeah?"

He hurried off without her, and she stared at his back and sighed.

"Harry, you great idiot," she murmured. "This is me being dejected and miserable."

She wiped a single tear off of her cheek before hurrying after him.

She entered the kitchen, where Harry was sitting smugly with Ron and Hermione. The two were on opposite ends of the table, glaring daggers. Ron was blushing at the same time, however, and it somewhat lessened the effect.

"I refuse to do it, Harry. I will not snog Bill! I don't care if it gets rid of the- the- whatever the hell those are!"

Hermione huffed. "They're snogberries, Ron, and honestly, what Harry said can't be true because I've been snogging Charlie all day and- " She blushed. "Oh. Whoops." Ron groaned into his hand.

"This will traumatize me for life, Harry. Life."

Ginny plopped into a chair. "There's only one way to avoid all this, you know." Both Ron and Hermione looked up eagerly. "Both of you eat a snogberry and touch one another."

Hermione blushed and ducked her head; Ron grinned. "Yeah, all right. Hermione's better then Bill, I guess."

The brunette. "Glad to see I rate," she snapped. "And you can forget it now! I hope you snog Bill, and I hope I get pictures!" Ron sighed.

"I didn't mean it like that," he insisted. "I- I mean, I'd- rather like- "

Hermione's ears pricked, but she did a superb job of hiding it. "That is to say, I think you're- you know- all right."

She sighed. "Well, all right, then. That will have to do." They smiled at one another and then looked away, both red. Ginny and Harry exchanged eye-rolls and tossed their friends a ripe berry. Hermione took a bite. Ron took a bite. They hesitantly reached out, and then stopped, their fingers millimeters apart. "You sure?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah."

They touched.

Nothing happened.

Ron blinked. "I don't feel any different from normal."

Hermione nodded. "Same here."

"Maybe I feel a bit... braver?"

Everyone quirked their eyebrows. "Braver?"

Ron nodded. "Yep. Braver. Normally I want to snog you, 'Mione, but now I think I'll actually do it."

Her eyes widened. "What? You- you usually want to...?"

"Mmm-hmm. So. Can I kiss you now?"

She nodded dumbly, and as they moved in, Ginny stood. "Let's just... give them some privacy. Or something." Harry nodded.

"Yeah. All right." He allowed her to lead him out of the kitchen and into the living room. "So... er..."

Ginny smiled weakly. "Chess?" The green-eyed wizard shrugged and they were about to sit down when suddenly Fred appeared in the middle of the living room.

"Hullo, all! How are you to- "

He was tackled by an enraged sister. "You! You great bloody sod! How dare you plant a berry here! How dare you! So far Ron has been in love with Bill and George, Hermione with Charlie and vice versa, Bill with Ron, Harry with me, and- well, that's it, but still! Damnit, Fred! What were you thinking?"

Her brother shrugged. "I thought it might be funny. But anyway, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I've brought the cure!" He held out a small vial. "Just give it to the affected."

Ginny smiled. "Excellent! But you're not off the hook. Go sit down and I'll deal with you later."

Fred sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Just be sure that those who haven't eaten anything don't take that. They'll get really, really sick." Ginny nodded, waving him away. "You first, Harry?"

There was a frighteningly devious look in Fred's eyes.

Harry paled and then blushed. He ducked his head and mumbled at his toes. "I'm sorry, what was that?" Fred prompted. "Couldn't quite hear you."

"Idndn."

"Come again?"

"I dntndn."

"Once more, didn't quite catch it."

"I don't ndn!"

"Harry, honestly, annunciate- "

"I DON'T NEED ONE!"

"Well there you go, that's all you needed to- "

"WHAT!" Ginny whirled to face Harry. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

He sighed and became even redder. "I... I don't need a vial."

"Oh. Well, yes, you do, because then you'll never get better, see. I know; I wouldn't trust the twins, either, but- "

"No, Ginny, I mean, I don't need one. I didn't eat anything."

She laughed weakly. "Meaning... that all of... everything... was real?"

Fred looked alarmed. "Whoa, wait, 'all of everything'? What did you do to her, Harry?"

His little sister rounded on him. "This is your fault, so go away." She shoved him onto the steps. "Upstairs. Now."

When he didn't obey, she drew her want. He left at that.

Calmly, she returned her attention to the (almost shaking) Boy Who Lived. "You need to spell this out very carefully for me, Harry. Slowly, surely, painfully, and carefully. Because I don't think I understand."

Harry sighed. "I pretended to take a berry because I thought that it would give me an excuse to- well, you know- kiss you. And then I did and it was really... it was really... anyway, I've fancied you for ages now, and- "

"How long?"

"Erm. Since sixth year?"

"Holy, shit, Harry, why didn't you say something?"

He looked completely dejected. "Because you're way too good for me! First it was Voldemort, then it was nerves, and then I just realized that you could never- I wasn't- and you were so much- " He stopped, gesturing helplessly.

Ginny crossed her arms. "Are you in love with me, Harry?"

He blinked. "I- well, yes."

She nodded. "Good."

And then she was standing on her tiptoes, reaching up behind his neck, and decided that she just might let Fred and George Weasley off the hook.

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