Author’s Note: I’m sorry I haven’t updated in such a long, looong time. Ultimate Uke (aka UUS) is my first fic and, though I intend to finish it, I’ve been out of touch with it for so long that it gets harder to write as time goes by… but because there are still so many UUS fans out there interested (and, more importantly, going out of their way to let me know they are interested, whether by review or email), I will keep the chapters coming. So! Please be patient with me and keep on reviewing – they help, they really do.

That said, in the between times, please do check out my latest fic One-Shot-Naruko (or the new chapter of Dead Last) and leave a word – I will love you for it forever, I swear. And, also, link to some amazing fanarts from my profile page. Especially the newest one for Give You Back. If anyone's a fan of Amoto – a definite must see. It's a little ecchi, but very, very, very beautiful.

Write me, Rosesareblue

THE ULTIMATE UKE SYNDROME

By Rosesareblue (finally!)

The story so far (because it really has been a while): Three competitive high schools end up at the same basketball training camp for two weeks – Sound (led by Uchiha Sasuke of the perfect form), Sand (led by powerhouse Gaara), and Konoha (led by graceful Hyuuga Neji and superfast Rock Lee). All that testosterone proves problematic because Konoha’s manager is the one and only Uzumaki Naruto, who suffers from a rare ligand disease otherwise known as the Ultimate Uke Syndrome. Not only does the UUS make Naruto’s the most desired piece of ass around, it prohibits the incredibly talented blond from playing his beloved game. If his basketball worries weren’t enough, Naruto – oblivious of the long-time-protective-love of Neji and the growing-love-hate-interest of Sasuke – falls for the psychopathic Gaara, who has a sadistic (check: homicidal) history when it comes to dating. While Temari, Shikamaru, Neji, and the rest of the Konoha team worry for the wayward blond, Sasuke and Naruto share a moment that reminds them both of a treasured past…

Chapter Thirty-three

Tokyo was a hostile city for singles – which, technically, both boys were. But, said another way, Tokyo was a very, very friendly city for couples – which, seriously, was just begging to be taken advantage of. It was Sasuke’s idea first, accidental as it were. His fourth onigiri contained free coupons to a local arcade – check, free coupons for couples to a local arcade. And because Sasuke and Naruto both, for reasons they themselves couldn’t explain or care to explain, didn’t want to head back to the boarding house quite yet… they hit the town. All that was needed was Sasuke’s slapping a hand over Naruto’s mouth when the dobe started his “I’m a boy!” speech and both got in without much suspicion, everyone too ready to accept the explanation, “A guy that pretty would of course date a girl that pretty and vice a versa.” Insert rant about the horrors of our superficial society here.

The only game they played there was a basketball simulation… one that they didn’t take lightly at all. The Uchiha heir was gritting his teeth the whole while, his black eyes aflame; the blond manager seemed to have a personal vendetta against the joystick, screaming out moves like “SUPER FIRE JUMP CRASH SHOOOOOT” and “DANCING DRAGON LIGHTNING PASS OF DEEAAATH” as he slapped his palm against the buttons. When at last they had exhausted the game and tied at a high score to end all high scores, which they saved under SasuNaru (because Naruto lost at rock-paper-scissors), the boys found themselves being awarded a giant teddy bear and a free round of purikura.

In the alleyway behind the arcade, Sasuke (illegally) sold the giant teddy bear to a high school boy who desperately wanted to impress his girlfriend but sucked at crane games. Meanwhile, Naruto (illegally) sold the blurred purikura pictures in which Sasuke’s face and his own were both covered with doo doo icons (arcade games weren’t the only time the two could be competitive, apparently) to otakus… because otakus by nature are inclined to pay a lot of money for otherwise worthless shit.

With a thick wad of cash in their pockets, the raven-haired boy and the blond abused the couple discount for all night karaoke, alcoholic beverages and condoms included of course. Neither of them sang at all though, taking advantage of the free drinks part of the package to get as trashed as possible – thanks to Naruto’s fake ID (which, to be fair, Jiraya made for him in his infinite fatherly wisdom: “I’d rather you get it over the counter than under the table, son”). So, Sasuke drank because he has a shit life and is emo, thanks. Then, Naruto drank more to outdo Sasuke because, come on, he has a pretty shit life too. Then, Sasuke drank even more to outdo Naruto because he’s competitive and a jackass. Then, Naruto drank possibly his weight’s worth to outdo Sasuke because he’s also competitive and… well, you get the picture.

It wasn’t until both were wasted enough to feel randomly friendly/hardcore/I-don’t-give-a-fuck that either begin to attempt conversation at all.

“Hey, hey, heeey!” slurred Naruto, who by this time had, for no reason at all, taken off all articles of clothing except his necklace and boxers. Reaching over to poke Sasuke’s shoulder, missing, and jabbing his cheek instead, the blond drawled. “Let’s play a game. Yeah, yeah, let’s play a gaaame so I can beat your inferior ass like alwaaays.”

Sasuke didn’t respond till he’d downed another shot of bourbon. Then, smirking so widely it could have almost been a smile, sneered, “Fine. If you want me to kick your sorry ass, usuratonkachi. Strip poker.”

Naruto bobbed his head furiously in a great show of enthusiasm and stopped only when he felt his world start to spin. “Wa-wait! That’s not fair! Teme! You still have all your clothes on!”

The raven-haired boy shrugged a shoulder, “You did that all on your own, dobe.”

“NUH-UH!” Naruto pouted, hands-on-hips. “YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME WITH THESE TAKE-OFF-YOUR-CLOTHES EYES. YOU WERE, YOU WERE!”

“I was not.” Sasuke muttered, reaching for some more excuse to be turning a shade darker – only a shade mind you.

“YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME NAKED!” Naruto hollered, standing up to dance just because.

“…” Sasuke decided not to speak, since Naruto was just going ahead and shaking his cute rear in what must be the idiot’s improvised you-just-want-to-see-me-naked-dance. As if. Seriously.

“Fine, fine.” Sasuke grumbled, still a little pinkish around the cheeks from the, um, alcohol. “What do you want to play, Naruto?”

“BASKETBALL! Wait, no, but I can’t, I – I.” For a second, the blond looked utterly and absolutely disoriented – frozen in mid-hip-roll with the saddest expression etched on those summer-colored features. Then, just as quickly, Naruto was roaring, “Let’s tell each other one secret ‘cause we won’t remember tomorrow anyway. HUZZAH! SEISHUN!!11!!!”

Slamming his slim, tan hand on the counter so that all the empty and full glasses crowding the table rattled and clinked, Naruto downed the remainder of his gin-and-tonic and belched. But, much to the blond’s surprise, the Uchiha gave the slightest inclination of his head.

“Fine.” Sasuke smiled, it really was a smile this time, slyly, “You go first, usuratonkachi. Then I’ll go. After which, of course, it’ll be your turn. Taking turns is only fair, right?”

Naruto nodded solemnly, still a little taken aback that that Uchiha had agreed so readily. “Right, right. It’s only fair. Me, you, me. Don’t back out now, bastard.”

“Oh, I won’t… idiot.”

That said, there was silence. A vast, awkward, churning silence during which both boys realized that they were a lot more sober than either was willing to let on and appreciated the full weight of what they were committing to. Then the goofy grin and the cool glare reappeared and the Uchiha was asking:

“Why can’t you play, dobe?”

Naruto’s goofy grin spread and he barked out a laugh, “Basketball? Because I can’t. Next, it’s your turn – ”

“Why not?” The Uchiha interrupted, his voice quiet but firm. “Who knows? You could be decent.”

For once, it was the blond who refused to answer.

“Sure, you are tiny but your reflexes are all right.” The raven-haired boy went on, admiring the near panic that seemed to be taking over the other boy. “You could be a point guard or something. A team as shitty as Konoha could get all the help they – ”

“THEY ARE NOT SHITTY!” Naruto roared.

“So,” Sasuke snapped, unperturbed. “Why don’t you play with them then, usuratonkachi?”

It was a long time before the blond answered. But he did answer. Because, maybe, just maybe, he’d solicited the game so he could finally tell his childhood friend that, “Because I promised them I wouldn’t. Because I, I am sick with this, uh, medical condition and they – they don’t want me to die.”

And Sasuke understood immediately. They didn’t, Naruto had said. They.

The raven-haired boy closed his eyes, waiting for Naruto to ask the question he’d known from the beginning was on his companion’s mind. When it came, Sasuke was glad that it was the blond who was asking – because, with Jiraya for an adopted father, of course the dobe knew everything about the dirty Uchiha history. Naruto was doing him almost a favor in asking.

“Oi, Sasuke. Tell me about Itachi.”

“NARUTO! NARUTO!” The long haired boy bellowed upon entering their dorm room, dashing around to poke the beds, look beneath, search the closets…

“Calm down, Neji.” Kiba quipped, and realizing that he’d dove to cover Hinata’s ears, embarrassedly removed his hands from around the blushing girl’s head. “Maybe he’s taking a midnight walk.”

“Yosh! Or a youthful sprint?!” Lee suggested.

“He can’t!” Neji snapped, his temper so thin with the kitsune’s absence. “He can’t do that! Naruto will die if he does!”

At that, the whole Konoha team cringed – with the exception of Shikamaru.

“Hyuuga, we know. And we care too, all right?” Sighing, the brunet massaged his temple – wishing that a certain blonde girl were here if only for the company of someone who knew as many ugly secrets as he did. “Listen, we can wait for another half hour and if Naruto’s still missing we can – ”

“Sand.”

“What?” Chouji blinked. “What about the Sand?”

“Naruto might be with them.” Neji answered, distractedly. “Naruto might be with…”

“…” Shino glanced from the white-eyed boy to said boy’s cousin, who bit her lower lip guiltily. Kiba noticed too and awkwardly patted the girl’s small shoulders, earning, to his delight, her faint smile.

“This is so troublesome.” Shikamaru muttered, stretching. “Fine, fine. If you are worried Naruto’s with the Sand team, I’ll give Temari a call and – ”

“Temari?” Shino murmured, while Kiba started snickering.

“You have her number?” was Chouji’s especially accusing question.

If Shikamaru lost his cool, he didn’t show it (much). “O-of c-course. I might, you know, have to discuss basketball stuff with her.”

“Basketball stuff.” Lee’s eyes narrowed. “Unfortunately, I know exactly what that means.”

“What does it mean?” Hinata blinked her large eyes innocently.

Lee coughed disapprovingly, making even an aloof Shikamaru’s ears flame. “Unfortunately, Hyuuga-san, it is inappropriate for decent youths of our age to discuss basketball stuff in the way our team captain does.”

As the Hyuuga heir’s pretty eyes turned in shock at a coughing Shikamaru, Neji snapped, “Fine. Call whomever. Just – find him. Please.”

When Shikamaru flipped his cell out of his pocket, to everyone’s surprise, it started to ring before he opened it. Warily, the Konoha captain answered it. “Hello?”

“Shikamaru?” came the familiar female voice. “It’s Temari.”

“Hey! I was just going to – ”

“Gaara’s missing.”

At her frank words, the brunet’s mind started racing – thinking a million thoughts a minute.

“Are you listening?” Temari scolded. “Gaara’s missing.”

“I heard you the first time.” Shikamaru replied, curtly adding, “Naruto too.”

“What don’t you already know, usuratonkachi?” The Uchiha spoke softly, his voice dangerous. “Or can’t you read well enough yet to skim the tabloids?”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “This is supposed to be a telling game, not a reading one. Baaaka.”

“Hnn.” With a scoff, Sasuke averted his flashing red eyes – threatening to betray that he cared at all. Finally, he said, “Itachi took a shitload of steroids during his entire basketball career and it finally caught up with him. End of story.”

“What the fuck!” The blond surged up from his seat, his pretty face contorted in anger. “You promised to tell me a secret.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” The raven-haired boy said dully. “Why else would I be talking to you right now?”

“That’s not a secret!” The manager glared. “That’s just a lie! Itachi didn’t take steroids – except that one time. I never ever believe that bullshit coverup story.”

For a split second, the Uchiha faltered. “Who… who told you that?”

“No one needs to tell me what I can see for myself.” Naruto snapped heatedly. “Uchiha Itachi was pure. Purely talented, purely a genius at game strategy, purely loved what he did. My pops would never have respected him so much if he didn’t. And neither would I.”

“You are just an idiot – “

“Even an idiot can feel the difference between what’s true and what’s not.” The blond interrupted curtly, much to Sasuke's surprise. “So don’t fuck with me, Uchiha. Tell me why Itachi did it. That steroid scandal. Taking so much it broke him. Why? He didn’t need to, so why?”

Sasuke let out a slow sigh. Seething. He was seething because the dobe trusted so easily what he himself wished he didn’t know.

“Of course he didn’t need to. No, not that bastard.” The raven-haired boy spat, after a long silence. “The other members of the Japanese team, on the other hand, that was a different story. During the last Olympics, the whole team was used as guinea pigs. A new type of drug, not traceable. My ass. Maybe not during a blood test, but it was a matter of time before one of them got caught injecting, especially when they had all those journalists, domestic and foreign, breathing down their necks… Jiraya too. He’d already figured out that Orochimaru was the supplier – “

Naruto’s eyes went wide. “Orochimaru? Then why did Itachi – ?”

The Uchiha shifted in his seat, his hand passing over the beer and grabbing a glass of water. Clutching it in his lap, the raven-haired boy said lifelessly, “Orochimaru might have been the supplier, but my father was the distributor.”

The ice cubes clinked against the glass in his grip.

“Itachi knew that the entire business was going to be exposed if the investigation continued. So he let himself be the media’s scapegoat. Took the entire blunt of the scandal himself so that the other cowardly motherfuckers on the team could pretend like they’ve always protected the honor of Japanese basketball. And that night, he single-handedly destroyed the Uchiha name.”

There was loud crack as the glass in Sasuke’s hold broke with those cold words. Naruto silently looked on as blood trickled freely from the Uchiha’s pale hand. Nonchalantly, the raven-haired boy plucked a tissue and wiped away the thick, red, glaring blood.

“So that’s it. Itachi’s finished, artificially alive in some backwood hospital. The Uchiha fortune is gone in lawsuits. And my parents couldn’t live with the shame and committed suicide few days later.” The Uchiha finished, in a soft voice that rang loudly. “But you already knew all that from the tabloids, huh, dobe?”

…

“Oh, and one more thing.”

…

“Everyday, I wake up wanting to kill him. That traitor. But then, you wouldn’t understand the depth of my hatred, usuratonkachi. Losing everything at once. You wouldn't understand.”

At that, Naruto flinched. In one swift motion, the blond had a wad of tissues in his hand and was blotting out the blood from Sasuke’s hand with a manager’s expertise.

“This is a stupid game, dobe.” The Uchiha scoffed quietly. “It messed up my hand.”

“Teme. You did that all on your own.” The kitsune grumbled, easily ripping strips from his shirt and using it as a bandage. “Don’t be a baby. The cuts aren't very deep. You’ll be okay in a day or two.”

“Hnn.”

“You are right about one thing though…” Naruto whispered. “About my not understanding your hatred, at least."

The blond held the raven-haired boy's hand firmly in his, while he bond up the wound and continued to speak.

"I can't help looking up to Itachi even more, now that I know. He’s the real reason why anyone in Japan can play basketball and still dream of fighting on an international stage. Really, it's because of him, you can play basketball now …”

I think you are the reason why he did it, Sasuke…

A/N: And that’s chapter thirty-three! Please, please leave a review – a comment, complaint, suggestion, speculation, or just a hello! C'mon, if you've read all the way to chapter thirty-three, we are already like this (makes the finger sign thingy). Nod, nod.

Oh, and some of you've noticed but: I had a really crack-y chapter 33 up for a brief period of time way back when (and got rid of it soon after, because I realized that's not the direction I wanted the story to go at all). This may be why fanfiction will tell you you've already reviewed this chapter (if so, please know how deeply, deeply I heart you... trying to review not only once but twice...!! bawls and blows nose in tissue). Please log out and review under your pen name (I remember all my reviewers so I'll know you've been by and stalk- ahem, ahem, think politely of you) or review under another chapter. Again, I am so thankful to have your support and will keep the chapters coming!

As for that deleted scene, please read it here as an OMAKE: Behind the Scenes with the UUS cast (Alternate Universe Version). Huzzah!

After the trip to the psychiatrist, Sasuke and Naruto go to the blond's dome-like house and...

“MEGUMI? HIKARI? LING?” Naruto bellowed. “I’M HOME~”

The reaction was instantaneous. A stampede of small feet echoed through the corridors as busty maids bursts into the front hall to sweep their beloved master into their arms and suffocate him in their cleavages.

“Natto-sama, you liar! You promised you’d write every week once you got to camp!”

“You said you would send me pictures of Neji-sama~ what happened to those~”

“You are so thin, Natto-sama! Don’t tell me they didn’t feed you eight square meals?!”

“Do you want to sleep in my bed? I can warm you up! Give you a massage!”

“MEGUMI! IF ANY SLEEPING IS TO BE DONE WITH NATTO-SAMA, IT’S ME – ALRIGHT?! HE’S MY BABY SISTER!”

“You wish, Ling, Natto-sama is my baby sis… well, hello there! And who are you?”

Finally, the eager maids spotted an irked Sasuke glaring at them. Dropping a rumpled Naruto, the women turned on him with sparks emanating from their slitted eyes.

“Very handsome. Very handsome indeed.”

“Ooooh. Look at his muscled arms – so white and smoooooooth.”

“He has to be handsome or he won’t look good with Natto-sama.”

“Who is he? Your boyfriend, Natto-sama?”

To Sasuke’s immense surprise, Naruto nodded curtly. “Right – this is Uchiha Sasuke, my boyfriend. So don’t lay a finger on him.”

His words were met with earsplitting squeals.

“But Natto-sama broke our hearts last time by saying he’d never let Neji-sama screw him senseless.”

“I told you there would be yaoi if you worked here, didn’t I? Didn’t I?”

“Uchiha Sasuke as in the famous basketball star?!”

“CAN WE FILM YOU IN BED WITH HIM SO WE CAN SELL THE TAPE ON E-BAY?!”

“Um... NO." Grabbing Sasuke’s hand, Naruto pulled him into the maze like hallways. “Just leave us alone tonight, okay? Ah, I, it’s my first time with a boy so I’m embarrassed and do not want to be disturbed. This is an order!”

And leaving the maids mooning, Naruto insistently dragged Sasuke away.

“Sorry about that.” Naruto scratched his head, when the two had washed up quickly and had his bedroom door closed firmly behind them. “If I don’t say that, Megumi and them, they’d never stop. They, um, they are like older sisters, you know?”

Sasuke gave the dobe a pointed look, before resuming his looking around Naruto’s room again. Maybe because the usuratonkachi kept the room bolted shut, it was the only part of the house that was messy. But, to be fair, the mess had a certain cozy order to it – basketball shit took up three corners of the room and the other shit took up the remaining corner; pants and shoes were all stuffed in the walk-in closet, which had strange things like sausages hung on the hangers, and shirts were all stuffed under the bed; every inch of the wall was adorned with pictures of the beautiful blond and his friends and family.

Scratching himself awkwardly as his new friend seemed to drink in his room and read all private thoughts that might be floating around in it, Naruto hurried to kick two trophies and several sports magazines off his bed.

“You have to stay in here if you want to avoid interrogation.” The dobe babbled on. “And it’s not like I have two beds and I’m, ah, not looking forward to sleeping next to you either or – or – oh, and the bed is really big so, er, shit! This is so awkward after all the stuff Megumi and the others said but… I – ”

“Stop talking.” Sasuke smirked. “It’s fine.”

And as if to prevent the dobe from talking again, Sasuke quickly tugged his shirt off over his head and, leaving it folded neatly on top of a pile of Naruto’s abandoned school books, stalked over to lie down on the bed. Plopping his head on the pillow, Sasuke scolded, “I feel like I’m lying on a bed of potato chips.”

“It’s probably popcorn.” Naruto spoke up helpfully, grinning wonderfully cutely.

“Whatever.” Sasuke muttered and rolled over on his back before the usuratonkachi may realize just how much he liked that smile.

Soon, the room was silent save the even breathings of the Uchiha – his smooth chest rising and falling softly, his dark hair scattered on top of Naruto’s pillow. Smiling fondly, Naruto jumped over his roller skates and walked around his marble collection. Stripping out of his own shirt, the blond looked down at his friend. Today, he’d met someone who made him feel as special as Neji had done; someone who seemed to understand his pain like Jiraya; someone who’d given him something to look forward to like Gaara. ‘Cept – all those amazing things, was rolled into one incredible boy who Naruto’d thought he'd never meet again.

And you learn something new each day…

Grinning, Naruto laid down on his bed that smelled refreshingly like cheese and butter and closed his eyes…

…only to snap them open again. Thinking of Gaara had brought back all the queasiness that the cheerleader’s skit had done. Should Naruto make a move? Sasuke had said he should, but… And Gaara, what did he think of Naruto in the first place. So, the redhead probably knew Naruto was the lost and found person. That he was (hopefully) a good kisser. But that was different from being boyfriend material.

Gaara, Gaara, Gaara…

“Gaara.”

Naruto blinked. He was thinking of the Sand player so much that it almost sounded like the name had been said aloud. Gah! Get a grip, Uzumaki. The pheromones are suppose to make you girly – not a total girl.

“…Gaara.”

This time he was sure he heard it. Naruto swiveled around in bed to face a murmuring Sasuke. A memory of the one on one between Gaara and Sasuke flashed in the blond’s mind – intimate, powerful, angry… could it be that the two had something going on between them?

“Gaara, I…”

“You what, Sasuke?” Naruto whispered, dread of actually finding that his friend and his crush had a relationship squeezing his tummy. “What about Gaara?”

“I want…”

“You want?” Naruto squeaked. “You want… what?!”

“Gaara, I want…”

“Sasuke!”

“…you…”

“I want you?!” Naruto hissed, sharply, as his inner self started screaming ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOO’ theatrically.

“…you to stay away from Naruto…”

“Eh?”

“Stay away, Gaara, Naruto… Naruto…”

His fears denied quite suddenly, Naruto sank back down on his side of the bed – so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he missed the rather lewd look that spread over Sasuke’s stoic face with his own name. Huh. Well that was overreacting on his part, since the Uchiha was just being nice to Naruto…

At that moment, the sleeping Sasuke just got a lot nicer.

“Er, Suke-chan?” Naruto asked his dozing companion who had some really touchie-feelie sleeping habits. “Er, why are your hands there?”

Of course, Suke-chan couldn’t answer in his sleep-walking (more like sleep-acting) state. Also, sleep having stolen his self control and his being returned to an instinctive state, there was nothing getting in the way of a very horny Uchiha and a pheromone-blasting Uzumaki. So, the rest of Naruto’s complaints were equally futile:

“Er, your hands don’t belong there… ow! Hey! Pull on your own!”

“Ohmigod! Give me those back! Give my boxers back RIGHT NOW!”

“WAKE UP YOU BAKA! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!”

“AAAaaaaaagh! The wrong part of you is waking up! SASUKE, FOR GOD’S SAKE, OPEN YOUR EYES!!!”

“Don’t stick your finger there! Why are you sticking your finger there?!”

“YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERT! WORSE THAN POPS! WORSE THAN THREE POPS!”

“I SAID NOT TO STICK YOUR FING- OW, OW, OW!! Take it out! TAKE IT OUT NOW!”

“MEGUMI HEEEEEEEEEELP!!” (Megumi, though she and her friends had cups to Naruto’s door, couldn’t get in of course – because Naruto had bolted them out… which was such a pity because Hikari had her digital camera on film mode.)

“AT LEAST USE THE LUBRICANT! IT’S IN THE BEDSIDE DRAWER! SASUKE!! LISTEN TO ME! USE THE FUCKING LUBE!!!”

“Do your teammates ever tell you you have the crappiest sleeping habits! Even Neji, whose is also horrendous, has only ever kissed me in his – holy cow! PUT THAT BACK! THAT IS HUGE!!”

“I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO KNOCK YOU OUT! UGH! Hey, hey, hey! Why are you – YOU SM FANATIC! UNTIE ME AT ONCE!!”

“Ow, I tell you it hurts – it hurts, baka!! It – whoa, what the hell was that?!”

“ MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

“AAAAaaaaaAAAAHHH!! UUuuuUUUnngh! Slow! Down! AAAAAAAAaaa!!!”

“Sasuke, Sasuke – ohmigod, Sasuke! Wake – SasukeSasukeSasuke – up!!”

“Aaaaaaaaannngh… okay, okay – see, you’re okay now, right? Okay? We don’t – freaking A – how does your thing do that? Dude, are you on via – GAAAAAAAHH!!”

…and, much to the maids’ delight, the torture continued throughout the night.

A/N: And that's the end of the side story. In the next chapter, Naruto will tell Sasuke why he likes Gaara and there might be (maybe, maybe) a confrontation with Neji – so please, stay tuned. And let me know your interest!!