FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
Thumbsucker Snitch
Author of 117 Stories |
Someone Out There
Co-Written: Thumbsucker Snitch and Glum N Dumb Skittery
:NOTE:
For the record, this isn't really Thumbsucker Snitch and Glum N Dumb Skittery (i.e. Lute and Cheri) talking like this, ahaha. Even though we are TOTALLY soulmates. For the sake of the fic, pretend that Snitch, the character from Newsies, is writing as Thumbsucker Snitch, a humor/parody guy in the Harry Potter fandom, and Skittery is an angst/drama/epic writer in the same fandom. Totally stupid random idea, but great fun anyway. NOW. START READING.
Prologue: Reviews
Thumbsucker Snitch - 2005-01-31 - 15 - Signed.
Wow. Not bad, dude. Deep. Well written. Enchanting, I must say. Jolly good show. Aheh. Anyway. I enjoyed it, really.
But seriously? Dude. Get a fucking sense of humor. At least Rowling has one mixed in with all the dark stuff. Go read my shit if you need help finding one.
...well. I never thought I'd live to see the day Lord fucking Voldemort sold muffins. But there you go. And if it boosts your ego some, I nearly wet myself laughing.
But I so have a sense of humor! But angst is my genre so stuff it. Mellow out: read my shit. Ahah.
Thumbsucker Snitch - 2005-01-31 - 1 - Signed
And you don't sign your reviews... why? Because you're an angsty loser? Aha, just kidding. You're actually really good at this whole thing. It's very serious and very dark. My teacher would say great word choice, but... I'm not my teacher.
And Voldie TOTALLY sells muffins. Didn't you know? ALL the bad guys are doing it these days! I was surprised to see he wasn't selling them in yours!
Glum N Dumb Skittery - 2005-01-31- 1 - Signed
There, all signed in and stuff. Just for you, you jerk. (And if you must know, it's a rare occassion when I actually remember my password. I usually get it emailed to me. Yes, commence with the mad laughter.) And I'm oh-so very flattered. And also glad you're not your teacher.
/stick it to the man/
But you definitely should stick to humor. It so works for you. I don't know if it's timing or what, but I'm reduced to a giggling state of mass. Which isn't as pretty as it sounds, let me assure you.
I can see it now. The muffin thing, I mean. "And as Harry felt the clutches of darkness dragging him into unconsciousness, Voldemort leaned forward, hot breath hitting his face. The Dark Lord cackled. There was a long pause. "...want a muffin?"
Oh, but now -I'm- anonymous. Just out of spite. Ahaha. I liked this one too. That was an interesting description of Draco's eyes. Not exactly how I would've done it, but hey, I also would've put Draco with Hermione. And have her find his little pink book a la Hey Arnold. And be like "Hey... he's obsessed with me. THAT'S SO WEIRD... yet strangely erotic." However, that's just me.
Ahhaaha, what's funny is I actually did that fic already. Go read it! If you liked Voldie the Muffin Man, you'll love Helga Pataki!Draco.
See? Anonymity is the only way to be.
The fact that Cho Chang self-imploded and blue blood spattered everywhere while Harry played Jenga on the side with Oliver Wood was slightly disturbing. Other than that, the pointless ranting was the highlight of my day. Because Chang was meant to rant her little Asian ass off.
I can't understand how in hell you pulled off a Helga Pataki-esque Draco. But, God damn, you did. And who're you kidding? The Harry/Draco is here to stay.
Thumbsucker Snitch - 2005-02-02 - 3 - Signed
And now I'm signed in again. Fear my unpredictability!
Suicidal!Oliver is a little weird, although I will admit I liked the death scene. And the twist with Neville? Almost as good as Rowling's own Neville twist, I must say. Again, I love your descriptions. They're so... I guess poetic is the right word. Something I'll never be able to do. Not that I care. I have my own way of doing it.
Harry/Draco? Bite me, you cliche light/darkLOVE!fag. It's all about Harry/Ron, Draco/Hermione. Although I did kind of bend my OTP rule a bit for this one... because you're -that- good.
Now I sign in for no one! Fear me. In general.
If I was to guess anyone would pull off Draco singing "Weasel's Mom is a Bitch" a la South Park, it would be you. Needless to say, I look like an idiot using the school's computer to read this fic. You fucking slay me.
Harry/Ron? EW. I tolerate your incessantly odd pairings because the banter created is just the best thing in the world. So there. We both win.
Thumbsucker Snitch - 2005-02-05- 1 - Signed
... You're a loser.
What I really don't get is how you can get -so much- into a one-shot. Seriously. No one else can do all these twists and turns in a grand total of five freaking pages like you can. I mean, if I wasn't such a macho man, I'd be fucking crying at this one. And I don't even LIKE Harry/Draco.
Harry/Ron is GOD. They would have such hot children. If you do mpreg, that is. Which I hope you don't. Because that's just weird. And it hurts to think about it.
Said he who had Harry dancing the Electric Slide around in the background for three consecutive chapters? 0wn3d. Indeed.
And I retaliate: Like you don't compact the most impossible, potentially-stupidest of situations and manage to pull off things that are, not just plausible, for fucking HILARIOUS? That's right. These six chapters aside. Which reminds me, have you ditched the Muffin Man fic, man? UPDATE.
I refuse to even consider their potential children. Adoption is the easy way out. But then again, they ARE wizards. The babies can magically float out of the stomach and hover for all I care. With no intention of doing mpreg that is.
And it's nice to know I have a new goal of making macho men like you CRY. Because some of your fics have already driven me to tears of laughter. I'm currently banned from the public library.
PS-HARRY/DRACO.
Thumbsucker Snitch - 2005-2-06- 5 - Signed
Harry's a FABOO dancer, though. I just HAD to let him do it.
But I mean, wow. You're not going to purposely make me cry or anything like that. I don't cry. But you do... what's the word... overwhelm? Yeah. Overwhelm. I mean, WHO-FREAKING-ELSE would make Sirius a dementor after that issue in book 5? That's pure genius! And I can't wait to see where the rest of this one goes.
NO of course I haven't given up on Voldie the Muffin Man. There are so many people to donate muffins to! ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN JUST WAITING TO BE TOUCHED BY THE DARK LORD'S MUFFINS! Wow that sounds so bad. Ahahaha.
Oh come on, though. Ron's hair and Harry's eyes? That's hot man. It's so freaking Irish it's HOT.
Yay! I banned someone from a public library! YAY!
P.S. - Drace/Hermy. AH!
Glum N Dumb Skittery - 2005-02-08- 7 - Signed
(Signed in? Surely, you jest! Just updated. Go. Run. Cry.) Well, if Rowling's really as twisted as I think she could be, she'd make Sirius come back as a dementor in Book 6/7. But, thanks.
As for this update...it's good to know now that Harry's snogging RON, (of all people), in the corner, that you've got McGonagall taking over the background dancing. The madness ceases to amaze me. As long as it's not Dumbledore. PLEASE not Dumbledore. Doing anything involving potential butt-wiggling.
...uh, yeah. That sounded beyond wrong. HAH. Maybe that's how you pull off the humor. Your mind must be on Funny Auto-Pilot. Mine must be broken; mystery solved.
Irish, huh? Please tell me you're not crushing on Seamus.
Yes, be proud and stuff. Especially since the head librarian is best friends with my mom's sister. Guess what? LECTURE. (But, oh man, it was worth it. The whole time all I could think about was Neville and Snape on Broadway. You rock hardcore.)
PS - Man, Draco/Hermione could never work! NEVER. That's like... Draco/Creevey. Yes: EW.
Glum N Dumb Skittery -2005-02-08 - 7 - Signed
Oh yeah, one more thing: considering I never know which story to check for your reviews outside of checking my email, I've just stolen your email - (yes, because I was signed in) - and I fully and wholly plan to nag you into a Muffin Man update. Over and out.
(And look! I DEFY you by SIGNING IN even though you expected me NOT TO 'cause YOU DID. AHAHAHA)
I didn't cry this time for the record. You will -never- make me cry. I guarantee it. I'm not a crier, not like some of these stupid fangirls. Fangirls. Ew.
I will tell you that you overwhelmed me again, though. Your talent is just awe-inspiring. I'm almost rooting for Harry and Draco. -ALMOST- I still keep hoping Hermione will pop up out of a corner and be all sexy vixen like "Heeey dragon boy, I want to play with your WAND" but this is you, so I doubt it.
... Seamus? Ew. No. Please. He doesn't LOOK Irish. He's a failure.
Ahahaha, I got you yelled at. Sweeeeeeeet.
P.S. Draco/Creevey? Your ingeniuty inspires me. Mwahaha. AND I AM AWAITING AN E-MAIL SO WE CAN STOP THE MADNESS OF REVIEWS.
Glum N Dumb Skittery - 2005-02-11- 9 - Anonymous
My anonymity TAUNTS YOU! With THREE exclamation points!
Fangirls. /shudder/ Enough said. I will leech the tears out of you if I have to. You will cry. Sometime in the near future. When I'm in the uber-angst mood. Which is likely. Very likely.
You will never get me to root for Harry/Ron if for anything BUT their crazy "OMG YOU QUEER- You queer, YOU'RE QUEER TOO/shove tongues down each other's throats/" dialogue. And if Hermione were to ever pop out "sexy vixen like", the gun would be to my head. (And your hand would probably be the one holding it.)
How the hell can you fail- at being Irish?
And so... it begins.
:
:
:
:
