Sephiroth the Cheese God

Rating: PG
Genre: Comedy
Setting: Who knows?
Main Characters: Sephiroth (Duh)

Note from the Authoress: Well, we finally made it! The LAST CHAPTER! Enjoy! Oh, and I feel so sorry for Sephy.

Part 12

Cloud had got annoyed at being shut in his room, so, bored, he had decided to leave Midgar for a break. He was now lounging around by the pool at a swanky hotel. Nothing could go wrong now, he thought, stretching on his sun bed.

Cid wandered the streets of the holiday resort, wincing at each step as his sunburn gave him aggro. He came to the dock and stared out to sea. He would get his revenge on Sephiroth. Suddenly his eyes widened, as he continued to stare out to sea. It couldn't be…

The ship headed into port, at a bustling holiday resort. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the hordes of scantily clad people wandering around eating ice cream in the hot sun. He was hot himself, but was not about to remove his coat. The ship docked and he swept down the platform. Well, he had no idea where he was so he would have to restart his cheese empire. A smile crossed his face as he saw, on the harbour, a very large cheese shop. He turned to Boris.

"Keep with the ship. I have to buy cheese." He walked off.

Cid had slipped into the crowd, and went unnoticed by Sephiroth as he swept past. It was perfect, but how could he get revenge. Carefully, he walked through the town, before stopping at a notice board. He smiled evilly. He now had the perfect revenge.

Screams attracted cloud's attention. He sat up, annoyed. What now? A waitress ran up to him.

"Mr. Cloud sir, please you've got to help! Sephiroth is here, and he's taking over the town with cheese!" Cloud sighed.

"Where is he?" The waitress' face flooded with relief.

"On the roof of Mr O' Naire's Hotel." Cloud frowned,

"Mr O' Naire? The extremely successful business man who practically owns the entire resort?" The waitress nodded.

"The very same." Cloud nodded, stood up and pulled his shirt on, before leaving the hotel.

It felt so good. He stood at the edge of the tallest hotel in the resort, attacking people with cheese. Already panic had ensued. Soon he would rule!

"Hold it right there!" He froze. He knew that voice! Slowly he turned. Cloud stood behind him. Sephiroth smiled evilly.

"I've been waiting." Cloud nodded, and drew his Buster Sword, pointing it straight at Sephiroth. Sephiroth pulled two lumps of cheese out of his pockets and pointed them at cloud, before thinking to himself how stupid that idea was. However, he was surprised. Cloud clutched his throat and backed away, dropping his sword.

"No, Not cheese! Anything but cheese!" He fell to his knees, and Sephiroth, seeing his advantage, walked forward thrusting the cheese in clouds face. Cloud recoiled.

"I give up! You win!" he clambered backwards and huddled in a ball by the elevator. Sephiroth couldn't believe it. He had won! He turned and walked back to the edge of the hotel and began to laugh evilly.

"That's enough!" A voice made him stop laughing and turn again. A smart looking businessman stood behind him holding a sheaf of paper, beside him, looking smug, if incredibly red, stood Cid.

"Go away," Sephiroth sneered, "It's over! I've won!" The businessman took a step forward.

"On the contrary, Mr. Sephiroth, I am Mr O' Naire, and you sir, are in a lot of trouble. Do you realise how many charges have been put against you? Lets see, You have been charged with" He started reading of the sheaf of paper "Abandoning a herd of cows, mistreating Various Pirates, Slaves and crewmembers, refusing to tip a delivery boy, and, of course pelting cheese at innocent holiday makers." Sephiroth's mouth fell open. The businessman looked once again at his papers, "Oh yes, and there are quite a few charges from obsessed fans for dying your hair. In other words, you have no option but to give up your role as Cheese God, and your vast cheese empire will be handed over to those you wronged to help them through this difficult time." With that, Mr. O' Naire turned and left. Sephiroth watched him leave, wordlessly. It was all over, before he had even done anything. The pure awfulness of the situation came flooding back to him in an instant. He cried out in agony.

"Noooooooooo!" Sephiroth collapsed to the ground. He had been so close. Victory was his, and now this. The humiliation. The sun set slowly on the horizon, and he lifted his head slowly, the red rays of the sinking sun reflecting on his face. An insane smile spread across his face. No. he would never give up. He stood slowly, his long hair falling around his face, and gave an evil laugh before turning and walking into the elevator. Darkness fell in his wake. He would never give up, as long as cloud was still around, his quest was never finished. But he could get revenge another day (despite the fact it wasn't cloud who did this too him). For now, the distant echoes of the holiday resorts nightlife beckoned, and he intended to make the most of it.

THE END

BUT WAIT…. It's not over just yet

Just move on to the next part, to see an entertaining, 30 second "clip" before everyone goes home.

Epilogue

Cloud brought a tray of shots over to the table; Reno was sitting there poking Cid with a stick, grinning as he winced. Boris was writing on several scraps of paper. Tifa was applying Hair dye to her hair, as Sephiroth's pink streak had impressed her. Cloud placed the five drinks on the table. A hand majestically took hold of one, and pulled it back. Sephiroth lifted it, slouched royally on his seat. The group downed the shots. The music in the resorts nightclub blared out. Tifa looked around

"Isn't it amazing?" She said as a line of cows went past in a conga line, "How everyone who appeared over the last few days managed to find their way here?" Cloud watched a group of pirates dancing the Macarena. A group of people who Sephiroth recognised from the Newsagents were singing out of tune at the bar. Meanwhile Ella was chatting to the slaves who had been washed overboard. Reno shrugged, watching a delivery boy with a package head up to the bar.

"Hey, holiday resorts are the place to be." Sephiroth grinned, ok, so he was drinking with at least three mortal enemies, but he was on holiday, it was allowed. Cid looked at Boris.

"What are you doing?" Boris lifted his head

"I'm writing a book. It's called 'Tips For the Visibly Evil'." Sephiroth froze. Boris carried on, "It details all of the pitfalls on the way to evilness and how to avoid them. That's why I kept giving you new ideas, and Reno has been watching you." Sephiroth stood up, banging hard on the table.

"And you couldn't write this earlier?" Boris shrugged.

"Sorry Pal, Reno and I have been undercover for a while, detailing everything you did as a warning to future evil madmen." Cloud sniggered. Sephiroth broke a bottle on the table.

"We'll see about that!" A Shout distracted his attention.

"Oi, Sephiroth. Do you want more charges on your head? This is a peaceful club! Put all your differences aside and dance!" Sephiroth's mouth dropped open. But there was nothing he could do about it, and he allowed himself to be dragged onto the dance floor, to party the night away.

THE 'ACTUAL' END