Chapter 1 Accidentally Eavesdropping

Disclaimer: I don’t own Degrassi, and I don’t own the song “Collide” it’s by Howie Day. I’ll be using pieces of the lyrics throughout this story…so yea, don’t own them and never will

This story takes place after Secrets, but it’s AU (alternate universe) from there… This is my first stab at a fanfic, so bare with me and if you feel like it please RR, thanks!

“Even the best fall down sometimes, Even the wrong words seem to rhyme”Howie Day

Her world was crumbling around her, and yet her room looked the same, exactly the same. It was one of those sad/ironic things, she was a mess and yet no one would know it by her well kept, cheery, basement sanctuary.

Everywhere she looked there were reminders of the girl she once was, and the person she’d now become. There were photographs in colorful frames on her nightstand, from junior high. Kids that were so obviously carefree and happy. Her dark haired best friend, their short but quirky friend, and his geeky sidekick. She’d come to consider those the “good old days.” Why had she even kept the pictures? Those days seemed so far behind her now. Her eyes darted to her desk, where sitting prominently displayed was a white pharmacy bag.

She gingerly picked up the bag and hesitated before taking out the bottle and examining it in one hand and then the other. She read the directions out loud,

“Take one pill twice daily, repeat until the full dose prescribed has been taken.”

She thrust the bottle back into the bag, crumpled it up and shoved it into the corner of her top drawer…She didn’t know what else to do. She shifted uncomfortable and then took a seat on the stairs, with her head in her hands…

Emma hadn’t meant to overhear the conversation going on above her, but it was inevitable…the door was cracked open and the tension in the air was thick

“I just don’t know what to do snake, I mean this is Emma we’re talking about, she‘s a good kid,” Spike said trying to convince herself.

“I know, I never thought we’d be using Emma and STD in the same sentence…But we are. So, where do we go from here,” he asked?

“That’s the problem I don’t know. I have no idea what to do. I mean we can’t ignore it anymore. First it was the nightmares, then the drop in grades, the withdrawing from her old friends, the lying, and now getting involved with kids she never would have associated with before the shoot…” Spike went on but now Emma had drowned out the conversation.

Her parents had been having this conversationover and over again (in one form or another) since Rick had come into school carrying a loaded gun and a lot of hatred for his fellow classmates.

She’d accomplished drowning the parental unit out with the T.V., that is until she picked up on a new addition to the tired out conversation…

“Maybe we haven’t been fair to her, maybe we shouldn’t have kept her in Degrassi, after the shooting I mean.”

Emma thought out loud, “Shouldn‘t have kept me in Degrassi? What are they gonna do, home school me? Hire a tutor? They can’t even hire a real babysitter for Jack let alone a tutor…” she leaned her body back against a cold step, and continued to listen…

“But it’s Degrassi, You and I went there, she’s been there for four years now, I teach there, I thought she’d feel safe,” Snake said sadly.

“There they go again, making Degrassi into some holy, sainted, shrine…it‘s a school damnit!” Emma thought angrily.

“I did too, but maybe that isn’t what she needs…maybe what she needed was a change of scenery,” her mom continued

“Are you suggesting that she leave Toronto for a while,” Snake asked his wife?

“I…I yeah I think maybe it be fore the best, just a for a little while…”her mom said sadly

“What!” Emma’s ears perked up, leave Toronto? Degrassi? home? She brushed a few strands of blonde hairs out of her eyes, and quietly crept up closer to the door.

“My mom would love to have her I‘m sure. Or, maybe, maybe there is a boarding school that would help her deal with her problems, sort her life out…” Christine thought out loud.

“Boarding school? No!” Emma said firmly.

Thoughts raced through Emma‘s head, “They want to get rid of me, I’m too much to handle…please. So I’ve skipped a few classes. My grades have dropped a little. Who hasn’t had grade troubles. I’m not some juvenile delinquent, I don’t do drugs, I didn’t bring a gun to school, or steal a laptop (a pang of missing Sean hit her). But she shook it away and kept going… all I got was an STD for God sake.”

“I’ll support whatever decision you make, I just want her to be o.k. and for things to back to normal…” He got a funny look from his wife after saying the last part…and he finished, “whatever normal is these days.”

But Emma had stopped listening, she was laying faced down on her bed, hot tears spilled onto her pillow…

Leave Degrassi? Was that what she needed? She didn’t know what she wanted or needed not anymore…She felt like an empty shell of the person she used to be…And now her life felt more uncertain than ever…Fate could be so cruel

O.k. that's the end of chapter one…I hope this wasn’t too boring I’m trying to set the story up…I promise in the next couple chapters will get more interesting. And yes, this will be a Emma/Sean story... maybe, possibly, haha…but o.k. well you’ll see (if you keep reading that is…)