Chapter Fourteen: There’s Still A Chance

Aoshi disappeared for a long time, wrestling his demons. He visited the graves of his faithful servants, and then walked the back roads of Japan for a couple years. He never settled down, and he prayed at every shrine. He lost track of time, remembering only the girl he had failed, and how much he wished he had done things differently.

Misao settled into the small hut with the potter, Hiko, Kenshin’s old sensei. When he had suggested it as a safe place to raise a child, she agreed. Going home wasn’t an option, and she didn’t want to raise the boy in the city. She traveled into the city weekly to meet with Enishi’s business men who quickly learned not to argue with the lady because she wouldn’t give an inch. Her plan for the street urchins was shaping up and the forbidden house was filling up with the laughter of young boys.

Her own son was growing like a weed. It was getting closer to the time where she would have to let him begin training. Already he was carting sticks around, imitating Hiko, who insisted he wasn’t training the child he thought of as his grandchild.

She had buried her grief deep and found herself lonely, with only the old man and a young child to talk with. Her arguments with Enishi’s business men didn’t count either. She hadn’t been home since the day she left with Cho and it still didn’t feel like the time was right. Tears for Enishi were a thing of the past, though she still ached when he wasn’t there to see the boy take his first step, say his first word, or swing his first sword. The consequences of Enishi’s choices still hurt, but not as much as Aoshi’s rejection. She wondered if he’d found peace for the choices he’d made or if he’d wait too late like Enishi did. No one had heard from Aoshi in years, and it looked like he was gone forever.

Aoshi stopped besides a small lake to wash the travel grime off his face.

“Hiy-yah!” a small voice screamed as its owner as a small tike about four rushed him. He held a stick far above his head and aimed toward Aoshi’s head. He stood up and grabbed the boy as he swung.

“Woah,” he exclaimed. “Hold up a minute. I won’t hurt you. Besides, before you attack a man, you need to know if he’s friend or foe.”

The little man swung again, and he almost dropped the toddler in the water. He regained his grip and the boy chortled.

“What’s your name, boy?” Aoshi said, dangling the boy farther away from valuable body parts while grabbing for the huge stick.

“Negafu,” the boy replied, grinning. His white blond hair and sea blue eyes reminded Aoshi of someone, but he couldn’t quite place the memory.

“Your momma calls you Hope, huh?” Aoshi grinned at the silly name and the boy frowned.

“Grandpa calls me Baka and he said if I ever found a stranger in the woods, I should swing first and ask questions later.”

Aoshi laughed out loud and the boy laughed with him. “If I set you down, will you run away or try to hit me with your stick?”

The boy shook his head no. “You’re not lying to me, boy?” Aoshi demanded.

He looked up at Aoshi seriously and said, “Momma said good men don’t lie because they know that while the truth may hurt, it won’t hurt as much as the lie.” He parroted his mother’s words earnestly.

Aoshi shook his head. “You have a very smart mother.” He thought about all the pain his own lies had caused and wondered if they would have been prevented if he had learned this truth the child spoke when he was this child’s age.

“You live near here?”

The boy pointed to a cabin close by. Aoshi set the boy down and took his hand. They walked toward the cabin together.

The boy’s mother washed the clay from her hands, and went out to call her son to come home for lunch. Her heart stopped when she saw him walking hand in hand with the tall man at his side. She patted her hair nervously, and wiped her hands on her skirt.

“Momma,” the little one called, letting go of Aoshi’s hand and running into her arms. She scooped him up and hugged him.

“Grandpa Hiko is waiting for you, Fu-fu. You best go find him.” The child squirmed down from her embrace and scampered off.

Aoshi stood at a distance, tears in his eyes, his heart breaking. If you hadn’t lied, that would have been your son, he thought. He watched her and she watched him.

Hiko peeked out of the pottery shed, smiled to himself, and gave the boy a piece of clay to occupy his fingers.

The silence between Aoshi and Misao grew. Aoshi searched for words that would express his feelings. Misao wondered about the tiny flame of hope burning in her heart. Aoshi walked a little closer and stopped. Misao didn’t move. He waved a small wave. She stood like a pillar of salt. He set down his pack and rummaged through it. At the bottom, hidden all these years, was a small red shoe, the one Enishi had left behind for him. His hand engulfed it.

“I lied,” he said softly.

“I know,” she replied.

“That makes me a bad man according to your son,” he countered, taking a few steps toward her.

She laughed and his heart leaped with hope. “Things are very black and white when you are four,” she responded.

“When you’re 28 too, apparently,” he said. “I hurt you. I have hurt you your entire life. I am sorry.”

Her eyes flashed and he backed up. “You are not responsible for hurting me,” she said sharply. “You can only hurt me when I allow you to hurt me, and I’m not sure I’ll allow that to happen anymore.”

He held out the tiny red shoe and stepped towards her. “I have been lost a long time, Misao-chan. I forgot what was important and I have lost everything that mattered to me because of my lies. I thought I’d never find you again.”

She took the tiny red shoe in his hand and searched his face. “Where’d you get this?” she wondered.

“It was left for me by Enishi,” he admitted.

“And you kept it? You didn’t throw it away?”

He shook his head no.

“Wait right here,” she said, dashing off into the cabin. He heard drawers opening and shutting, a frustrated cry, and then she appeared before him, the mate to his shoe in her right hand. “Enishi left this for me at the lawyers. They gave it to me the day they read his will to me.”

He stood awkwardly in front of her, unsure of what to say to her. She thrust the shoe at him, “Look!” she cried out. “Look inside it.”

He looked inside the shoe. The character for future was written in black ink on the interior sole. Kenshin’s words about not throwing away the things that mattered returned to him. He placed both shoes in her hands, a matched pair.

She gazed at him in wonder. “I thought you were never gonna find me, Oshi,” she said, just like she had when she was her son’s age and he had finally found her asleep under the bush.

Her thin arms around his neck, he smiled. He was a slow learner, but he finally knew the answer to old Jiya’s question. What do you do when you fail to protect the one you love? You try again and again, until you succeed, he thought.

The End...

There is no more. I told you this was a A/M pairing- those who didn't believe me. And Haruko, it broke my heart to let Enishi die. He is a much better man because of your love! More complex and complete. I hope you found happiness in his happiness. He insisted I tell his story kindly for change. Thank you for your reviews. I cherish each of them and hope you found some joy and peace in this tale. Remember- the road to love is filled with many traps, it is only by daring to be hurt and loving inspite of the hurt that you will find true love. It does exist, and not just in fanfic!