Ok, this is my first TMNT fic, it's sad and stuff, I don't know why I wrote it, but it's been banging around in my head for a while. Anyway enjoy, or not, whatever :).

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Things are different now since he's been gone. Raph has become more violent if possible; he has a Foot Clan death count now. Leo, when we are not out patrolling, he practices until he collapses, literally. Master Splinter tries to comfort us, but we know he is hurting also, he meditates a lot. April doesn't come around much anymore, says it's too hard. I haven't seen or heard from Casey Jones in over three months, I don't know what's happened to him, nothing I hope. We haven't heard anything from The Shredder since my brother's death, we know he did it; maybe he's scared, probably not. He's probably just waiting for the right time to strike. Me you ask, I'd have to laugh if I were to think about myself, I've started breaking things just so I can put them back together. The lair is quiet, the TV is rarely on anymore, there's no laughter, no jokes, just a painful silence. I look up from the "broken" radio, it's been broken five times this month, when Raph walks in, we nod to each other and he walks on. Yes things definitely have changed. I sigh and sit back, I can't concentrate. I look over to the door that leads to the sewers, that's where we found him, he'd been gone all night, we thought he'd been picking up one of Raph's habits, he'd been staying out later and later, but he'd never been gone all night. Raph was about to go looking for him when he opened the door and found him there. There had been nothing we could do; he'd been… gone for hours. I still can't say the D word, it hurts too much. He'd been beaten, he was bruised and cut up, and there were four claw-like marks that were familiar to us that had dealt the killing blow.

We buried him up at April's farm under a tree; we thought he would have appreciated that. When we were done, Raph went off into the forest, Leo went somewhere and I went in search of something to fix. An hour later we heard a scream coming from the forest, it was not of fear but of rage, and that's when Raph changed. He and Leo don't fight anymore, they don't talk, period. I think that they feel guilty, we all do, they had been fighting the night he left, I had been experimenting on something or other, and he had gone out for pizza, that's what he told me and I had waved him off when he asked me if I wanted to go. Maybe I should have gone with him, he probably wouldn't be… gone if I had.

I stand up and walk into the practice room and am surprised to see that Leo isn't there. I take my weapon of choice and start into my exercises and try to ignore the rack where his extra set of nun chucks are sitting. I close my eyes and start concentrating harder and don't stop until I hear someone clearing their throat. I opened my eyes to see Master Splinter standing there. He gives me a small smile and I can't help but smile back, not a big one but it's a start. He turns and exits the room and I put my Bo away and start to follow. When I reach the door I turn back and look at the nun chucks again and smile. I'll always miss him, but maybe it was time to start living again. With one last look around the practice room, I sigh and turn and resume following my father.