AN: If you are reading this, review. Please? It makes me soo happy. Anyway, yeah. Some random most likely over used Pansy fanfiction but shh :D

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. Neither is "I Want To Save You" by SOMETHING CORPORATE.

she'd cry herself to sleep
but she don't dare
and she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

Curls frame her face but not in the innocent, cute that so many girls manage but rather in that incredibly dishevelled way that makes her seem so careless. Ironically, careless is the last word you would use to describe Pansy Parkinson. She's clever and cunning and yes- gossipy but overall she is very attentive. Unhealthily attentive, in fact, as she nitpicks every flaw and error that she has and even ones she doesn't.

She has tried various spells to make all her imperfections go away but none of them work and Pansy becomes all the more frusterated. She bewitches her mirror to show her a good-looking girl so she doesn't have to live with the shame of being ugly. So she won't have to deal with this curse afflicted on her. Her mother used to calm her, coax her, telling Pansy that as she matured as would her features but that never happened. Her mother frowned at this. Mrs. Parkinson was alluring and yet Pansy was just average.

Just average.

Pansy Parkinson has always been just average.

Pansy isn't fat, but when she really grew up three summers ago she began to develop curves and she is absoloutely convinced that she is nothing more than obese. Where really is womanly curves she sees in its place her own fat bulging out. Pansy is repulsed by her own weight and no matter how hard she tries, these curves will stick with her as will her illusion of this cellulite.

Pansy is not brilliant for nothing. She's also a brilliant actress which is plainly demonstrated by how she parades around Draco Malfoy acting confident and even worse- beautiful. She needs to hold onto this thought though because Draco manages to make her feel so unsexy without even trying. In reality, he smiles but she sees something else. She sees a smirk and dictates to herself what she thinks is running through his head.

Tears beg to surface but she doesn't dare let herself cry. Beautiful girls don't cry. Beautiful girls don't have a single care in the world and she has to pretend she's beautiful or she doesn't know what she'll do. Besides, tears would just smear the eyeliner she just applied. Maybe eyeliner is the key to being charming.

Her eyes are dark and plain and she'd really rather have them sparkling and full of excitement. She envies those whose eyes glitter with every fleck of light and wonders for the millionth time, why couldn't she be like them?

Stunning. Gorgeous. Pretty.

These are the words that Pansy yearns for, aches for. She wants them.. she needs them.

No one has actually ever called Pansy beautiful because they think she is fine with herself. They don't hear her desperate pleas or see her clothing discards because everything 'grabbed onto her fat'. She puts on a happy facade and all the rest are fooled by it. They smile at her encouragingly which is sure to be turned into a snarl in that twisted little head she has.

She needs to hear she's beautiful more than anyone knows.. it may just be the thing keeping her from withering into nothing.