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Author of 166 Stories |
Looking around at the now emptier room, Yugi decided that the only thing he felt was a numbness that seemed to fill him up from the inside. It took over everything – every thought, every emotion, every happy memory of him and of Yami, together, were just that – a memory long gone.
Broken, this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
He was just so tired of it all. Sure, he loved him yami – who wouldn't? Yami was brave, determined, resourceful, strong – everything that Yugi wasn't. And he didn't begrudge him for that, because Yami was also a good person, always kind, always loving.
I feel so broken up
And I give up
Just want to tell you so you know
Here I go
Scream my lungs out
And try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go
But there's just no one
That gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Which was exactly why Yugi had to leave. And, because Yugi wasn't brave, or determined, or resourceful, he had explained everything in a note. About how Yugi knew he was no longer needed. About how Yugi would just hold him back. About how he loved Yami, but that he knew there was no longer a place for him here.
Made my mistakes
Let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
So now he was leaving for good. It was better this way, he thought with a sniff. Yami wouldn't have to be held back by Yugi any longer – he would no longer have to constantly protect him. Yami had been doing that for so long, even when they shared the same body – it was time Yami finally had a break. And the best way for Yugi to let him do that would be to just leave altogether – go out of Yami's life so that the spirit could finally have one of his own, as he deserved.
Somethings breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go
Scream my lungs out
And try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go
But there's just no one
That gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
"If you love someone, set them free, right?" asked Yugi very quietly to the empty room. And, he knew, the phrase was true. If he loved Yami, he would want the best for him – all Yugi wanted was for Yami to be happy. If Yugi had to leave for that sole purpose, then he would, no questions asked – he would, even if it hurt so much that all he wanted to do right now was to curl into a little ball and scream until he had no voice left. But he didn't, because, for once in his life, he wanted to be strong. Strong for the one who was always strong for him. Which meant walking out, right this minute, and never looking back.
Here I go
So dishonestly
Leave a note
For you my only one
And I know
You can see right through me
So let me go
And you will find someone
So. This was it, then. Shouldering his bag, he surveyed the room one last time, putting a trembling hand to the photograph that lay on the bedside table. Only memories left behind... but that would have to be enough. To his own utter disgust, he found tears trickling down his cheeks. Why couldn't he be strong for once? Even now, so close to leaving, and he couldn't leave those feelings behind.
"I'm sorry, Yami", he whispered.
"Sorry for what, aibou?" said a deep voice from behind him.
Yugi whirled around.
Yami was there, standing with arms folded. Blocking the doorway, Yugi realised in a rush.
"What are you doing?" Yami said, his voice low.
Yugi couldn't answer, and Yami looked at him with an almost accusing look in his eye.
Here I go
Scream my lungs out
And try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go
But there's just no one
That gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
"You're running away", answered Yami for him, and his voice held both disbelief and sadness and... something else. "You said you loved me... and now you're leaving. Just like that."
Yugi wanted to shake his head, to tell him that it wasn't like that at all. He had to leave... for Yami's sake.
But all that came out was a broken sob.
"I'm sorry", he said again. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."
Yugi took a step forward, but Yami didn't budge.
"Let me go."
Yami looked Yugi in the eye.
"No."
"Yami! You have to move. I have to go!"
Yugi couldn't meet Yami's eye, he felt too ashamed.
"I'll move... but not before I find out something."
Before Yugi could reply, he found his chin being held firmly but gently in Yami's grip, so that he was forced to look at Yami dead on.
A few more tears trickled out of Yugi's eyes – he wanted to shut them but didn't dare to.
And Yami just kept staring intently... what is he looking for? wondered Yugi.
"Yami..." he said uncertaintly. "What are you-"
His voice was stopped as Yami kissed him, and Yugi, without a thought responded as he always had – with pure love and caring for for the one he loved.
"So", said Yami, voice dangerously low. "You don't want to leave... then why are you?"
Yugi realised he had given himself away.
"Yami... I have to leave. Otherwise... you'll never be happy."
Yami frowned.
"But without you, I can never be happy."
"But Yami! Without me around you won't have to keep protecting me! You keep getting hurt because of me! If I'm not here, you can live the life you've always wanted."
Yami looked stung, and gripped Yugi's shoulders hard.
"Is that what you really think, aibou? That I could be happy without you by my side? How could you even..."
He trailed off, words choking him.
"You can't leave", he said, finally. "You just can't. Not unless you really want to. And your words may say so... but your actions, and your deepest thoughts, tell me otherwise."
Yugi gaped.
"If you want to leave, I won't stop you. Just know that I love you. Forever. Alright?"
Yugi could only stand in shock, as Yami stood aside, his once proud face looking vulnerable and defeated.
Yami was... crying?
And so he was – tiny tears were dripping all down his face now, and onto his chin, and wetting the top of his shirt. And Yami made no move to wipe them away.
Yugi did the only thing he could in a situation like this.
"Don't cry", he whispered. "Please don't cry, Yami."
He went over to hug his yami, feeling scared that Yami might not hug him back.
He needn't have feared however – the moment Yugi's arms went around him, Yami hugged him back with all his might, as if fearing himself that Yugi might still disappear out the door.
"Answer me truthfully, Yugi", said Yami between his sobs. "Do you want to leave? Do you want to leave me?"
Yugi shook his head.
"No."
"Then stay", said Yami simply. "Stay, because if you leave I'll just have to follow you, can't you see that? You're my everything, aibou – I can't live without you. I won't. I love you. I thought you loved me too."
"I do!"
"Then please... if its the only thing you'll ever do for me again... just don't leave me. Not now. You make me happy, aibou. No matter what you're doing, or who you're with, or what you're thinking, every second of every day. And you must never think otherwise... ever. Capisce?"
And Yami using a word like that seemed so funny that Yugi gave a small giggle instead of another sob, before very softly reaching up to wipe the tears away from Yami's face, as well as his own.
"Sorry, Yami. I didn't mean to-"
But Yami silenced Yugi once again with another kiss, this time more probing and infinitely more beautiful than before.
"Love you, aibou", he said, his voice still low and gentle. "Don't ever do that again."
"Promise", nodded Yugi. They kissed again, still clinging to each other, before moving to the bed – but not before Yugi grabbed the note and thew it in the bin.
You are my only one.
Song is by Yellowcard: 'Only One'. Hope you all enjoyed my unbearable sap – I'm quite sure there's a lot more where that came from. ;)